


You, Who I Call Brother

by glidewinder



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Mental Health Issues, Other, Post-Canon, TWs in the notes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:35:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 117,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24360685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glidewinder/pseuds/glidewinder
Summary: Ven had been seventeen for two months on the last day he’d seen his brother.
Relationships: Aqua & Eraqus & Terra & Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), Aqua & Terra & Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), Aqua & Terra (Kingdom Hearts), Aqua & Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), Chirithy & Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), Daisy Duck & Donald Duck & Goofy & Mickey Mouse & Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck & Goofy & Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Donald Duck & Goofy & Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), Isa & Lea & Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), Isa & Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), Kairi & Lea (Kingdom Hearts), Kairi & Naminé (Kingdom Hearts), Kairi & Roxas (Kingdom Hearts), Kairi & Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Kairi & Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), Lea & Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), Mickey Mouse & Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), Minnie Mouse & Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), Naminé & Riku & Riku Replica (Kingdom Hearts), Naminé & Roxas & Xion (Kingdom Hearts), Naminé & Roxas (Kingdom Hearts), Naminé & Terra (Kingdom Hearts), Naminé & Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Riku & Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), Roxas & Sora & Ventus & Xion (Kingdom Hearts), Roxas & Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), Roxas & Xion (Kingdom Hearts), Sora & Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), Terra & Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), Vanitas & Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), Ventus & Selphie & Tidus & Wakka (Kingdom Hearts), Ventus & Xehanort (Kingdom Hearts), Ventus & Xion (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 31
Kudos: 57





	1. Unbreakable Chains (Nightcore Remix)

**Author's Note:**

> tw for heavy depression near the end of this chapter, including a breakdown with suicidal ideation, as well as slightly graphic violence.
> 
> be careful and have fun reading!! i've Really been enjoying writing this these last couple months, and sharing it with you all is something i am very excited about!!

Ven had been seventeen for two months on the last day he’d seen his brother. 

Vanitas had, quite conveniently, managed to entirely disappear for the whole 24 hours of their seventeenth birthday. No replies to texts, no answering when he called, nothing. Of course, he barely answered Ven anyways, and _never_ answered when he called, but he didn’t even get the ‘read’ notifications like he usually did. It’s like Vanitas had shut his phone off for their entire birthday, which felt like such a strange thing to do on your birthday, at least to Ven. Man, he had gotten Vanitas a present and everything, too, and it just sat there the whole day. Lame.

Of course, Ven _did_ have a whole lot of fun spending the day with all of his new friends and family. It was so nice to see everyone, spend time with them while having cake and ice cream. Even with Chirithy around, it was easy to feel lonely nowadays, now that their big adventures were over-- and he appreciated every second he got to be with his friends! But...

He found himself looking to the door, or looking out the window. He knew it was silly, but even though he had no reason to... he missed Vanitas. He should have been there, having fun and celebrating with the rest of them. He shouldn’t’ve been alone, _especially_ on his birthday. Something about him not being there put a little bit of a damper on his night, and while he tried to hide it, he was sure Aqua and Terra noticed. Thankfully, neither had asked. 

He was sure at _least_ Aqua could guess, she seemed to pick up on those kinds of things pretty naturally! He was also sure that she didn't want her guess to be true. And, frankly, it wasn’t a can of worms he wanted to open on their birthday. He didn’t want Vanitas to catch the fallout.

The day after, once Ven woke up, he called Vanitas. Still no response, and while he had expected it, as Vanitas tended not to respond until the afternoon, he wasn’t going to take it that day. He got dressed and summoned his glider as soon as he could see the bright blue sky. As he drifted through the Lanes Between, he felt at a loss. There were so many worlds, and those worlds were all so big. Where could he begin…? 

A flash, and a memory resonated within his head, faint, as they tended to be. It felt like he was feeling it through a thick fog, barely seeing the faded outlines. A piece of his heart that was fragmented so long ago, thought to be lost. May his heart… 

A pain shot through his head, and his hand rushed to his helmet. Ugh, this wasn’t the time for headaches, **_or_ ** echoes of things that he couldn’t remember. Vanitas was more important than any silly dreams he had. If he had forgotten things, then perhaps they were best left forgotten. Besides, if all they brought him was headaches, then maybe he didn’t want them, anyways. Headaches were annoying at best, and dangerous at worst; but he was getting wildly off track. 

He took a breath, and cleared his head. What worlds had they been to? He went through a mental list. So many of the Worlds that he thought of seemed like they’d be of no interest to Vanitas, at least, he hoped they wouldn’t be, or he’d have a lot of extra looking to do. Ven pushed his overthinking aside and chose what seemed like the most reasonable option. Radiant Garden was a good bet, and if he couldn’t find Vanitas, Lea or Isa might know something! 

Well… maybe not. That was a shot in the dark, was he _really_ that out of options before he had begun? He didn’t even know if Lea and Isa knew Vanitas. Most likely they hadn’t met, and if they had, he was sure Vanitas would avoid them like the plague. He was, understandably, avoidant when it came to people Ven was friends with. He didn’t blame Vanitas, of course, but Ven was friends with pretty much everyone. It must have been lonely. 

He felt a new determination, and he pushed his glider faster. He had to find Vanitas, this was no time to get side tracked! He did make a mental note to visit Lea and Isa, though. It had been a few weeks since they had hung out last, and he missed them a lot.

It didn’t take too long to find Vanitas: wandering around, hands in his pockets and hood up as he spaced out. He stuck out like a sore thumb against the pastels of the fountains, didn’t he know that? If he was trying to hide, he was pretty awful at it. It was kind of hilarious. 

He didn’t even expect Vanitas to actually be _here_ , of all places. Sure, Radiant Garden was a beautiful, calming place, but… had Vanitas been here before? **_He’d_ ** never seen him here. He almost couldn’t believe that Vanitas knew about it. It seemed so… he couldn’t find a good enough word to describe it. Strange wasn’t strong enough, but he didn’t want a word that was mean, or--

“Ven!” 

A poof, and Ven _squeaked_ in surprise. He put a hand over his heart as his back hit the wall he’d been hiding behind. He glanced down to see Chirithy looking just as surprised as he felt.

“Oh! _Oh_ , Chirithy! It’s just you!”

He sighed in relief.

“Of _course_ it’s me! Who else would it be, silly?” Chirithy laughed, putting a tiny paw on Ven’s leg. “We have to get you used to my appearances. When you get as shocked as you do, it’s pretty alarming!” Ven thought on how random teleporting was also alarming, if not moreso, because one of them was very obvious and visible and the other was most certainly not, but then Chirithy hopped over to the corner and peered around it. When he spotted Vanitas, he giggled.

“Well, geez,” he whispered, “he’s pretty obvious, isn’t he? Do you think he comes here to think?”

“Um… I…” Ven slid to the ground and sat down against the wall, letting his legs flop out in front of him. “Sorry, I don’t know. It would be understandable, though. I’ve spent a lot of time here, too, though I prefer the gardens. It’s easier to think here than it is at the Land, anyways.” He huffed. “No Aqua or Terra to stumble upon you and ruin your already miserable train of thought.”

“I don’t think Vanitas has that problem, Ven.” Chirithy commented, his tone neutral. “I think that’s just a ‘you’ problem.”

Ven poked his cheek. “I mean… yeah…”

“Well?” Chirithy turned to him. “Are you gonna go talk to him or what?”

“I was getting to it!” Ven defended himself, avoiding Chirithy’s fluffy glare. “I was just, uh…”

“Being creepy?” Chirithy suggested.

Ven snorted in surprise. “ _What?_! No way! I was just seeing when would be a good time to approach him! I wasn’t being creepy at all!” He huffed and crossed his arms. 

“I _just_ got here, for your information. I wasn’t sitting here being invisible, like a certain someone! Or whatever you do before you just spawn out of nowhere!”

Chirithy made as much of a disgusted expression as he could manage, given his cute features. “Oh, geez, don’t put it like that **ever** again. Besides, you’re stalling. Just go talk to him, Ven!” He put a paw on Ven’s leg again, and looked at him sympathetically.

“What’s the worst that could happen? He storms off? Don’t let your anxiety take control of your heart, lest you fall victim to it.”

He nodded and stood up, brushing off his pants. Chirithy was right, even if he didn’t necessarily want to admit it out loud. It _was_ a little embarrassing to be so affected by his anxiety, especially after all the crazy stuff he did all the time. Being anxious when you had gotten your heart torn in half was a pretty ridiculous notion, he would own up to that. 

He clenched his fists in front of him, Chirithy’s pep talk boosting his ambition. He was gonna talk to Vanitas about their birthday no matter what, and he was gonna be fine while he did it! He took a step, but paused. He gave Chirithy’s head a loving, thankful rub and smiled sweetly at him before jogging over to Vanitas. 

“Hey, Vanitas!” Ven raised his arm in greeting, cupping his other hand around his mouth to make himself louder. It’s not like he needed to, in a walled-off area of only water and _them_ , but it was the spirit of things. Vanitas froze, turning his head so fast that his hood slid back down. In all honesty, he looked like a scared cat-- he could pretty easily imagine a puffed up tail sticking straight up behind him, almost like a cartoon. It was so silly and cute that it made Ven laugh.

Vanitas turned away, glaring at the fountains to avoid looking at Ven. It made his heart sink a little, but he pulled it back up; there was no point in losing face now! He placed himself next to Vanitas, and put his arms behind his back. After watching his brother’s face for a moment, he leaned forward, pushing his way into Vanitas’ view. Vanitas' eyes darted to him, then shot away as he made a big dramatic show of rolling his eyes. 

He turned towards him, arms crossed.

“Alright then, Ventus. You **_win._ ** What do you want?”

He wasn’t aware they were in a competition, but he sure loved winning.

“You OWE me!”

Vanitas’ expression blanked.

“What.”

“You. Owe. Me!” He repeated, putting individual emphasis on each word. He smirked. “For our birthday, y’know? You skipped out on the whole day!”

“...Oh.” Vanitas crossed his arms and looked away. “ _Well_ , I had other things to do.”

“That’s dumb, and probably a bunch of garbage.” Ven mirrored Vanitas’ pose, much to Vanitas’ annoyance. “I think you owe me a present, too, for missing _OUR_ birthday. We had a huge party, it was fun! Would have been even more fun if you had been there, too!”

“I highly doubt that.” Vanitas grumbled. “You’re the only one who wanted me there, I’m positive. I don’t even know _why_ you wanted me there; I have been actively trying to push you away, Ventus. Like, the whole time.”

Ven put his hands on his hips. “Ouchie. **_Well_ **, it’s gonna take a lot more than that to push me away! And, geez,” He waved Vanitas’ negativity away, “who cares if I’m the only person who wanted you there? It’s your birthday, too, and you have more of a right to be there than any of the guests did. That’s not what we’re here to discuss, though!”

He moved to enter Vanitas’ vision once again, and offered a silly smile.

“What are you gonna do to repay me for skipping out, huh?”

Ven never actually expected anything from him; that wouldn’t be fair to Vanitas. Teasing him was one thing, but he was just happy that Vanitas agreed to meet up with him for walks, or took the food that Ven offered him, or didn't run away when he obnoxiously ran towards him. Sometimes he was taken aback when Vanitas was okay with simply standing next to him. Those days, he’d feel the air between them bristle, but when he looked at Vanitas, Vanitas was looking away, hiding his face, his expression. His emotions. 

On those days he couldn’t stand being around Vanitas, but he did it anyway. He would make an effort because he _WANTED_ to, and he wasn’t gonna give up that easily! If he wouldn't extend his hand, how would Vanitas know that he cared? Someone had to take the first step, and considering everything, he only felt it fair for that person to be him.

He tried not to worry about it. Vanitas hadn’t been back for very long, and it was… a lot, to adjust to.

Vanitas shifted from one foot to the other, and Ven focused on his expression, using it to pull himself back. When he fully processed what he was seeing, it was an alert to his system: Vanitas looked so… so _guilty._ He couldn't imagine why, but Vanitas didn’t give him time to wonder. 

“I’ll train with you.” Vanitas said, more casual than he’d ever been towards Ven. “Once a day, I would suppose. We can train and, uh…” he could just barely see the tips of Vanitas’ ears turn pink as he pulled up his hood and turned away. “Spend time… _together_ … or whatever.”

Ven’s jaw dropped. He didn’t realize he had been in a stunned silence until Vanitas turned and glared at him.

“Take it or leave it, Ventus. I won’t hand you an offer like this again, so you best think very, very carefull--”

“Of course!” Ven’s words tumbled out, too fast. 

He was ecstatic, this was great and not at all what he was expecting-- He hadn’t been serious in the slightest! He had gotten so excited so fast, that it was such a struggle not to grab Vanitas’ hands and jump around! Even so, he held back. He didn't wanna ruin it, not when they had gotten so far. It would be so _easy_ to ruin the past month and a half of grueling work, and Ven **couldn't** chance losing Vanitas. Not again. Not when they had worked so hard to give him his own body, and worked so hard to just be able to stand side by side.

He was in such a joyous tizzy that he left Radiant Garden immediately, saying an excited goodbye to Vanitas and running to tell Aqua and Terra the wonderful news. As he saw the Land appear before him, he _smacked_ his helmet. Ugh, Lea and Isa! He had forgotten to say hello. Well, there was always next time. He had to prepare for Vanitas now! He would be pretty busy, he had never been a host before, and wasn’t quite sure what to do, but he’d figure it out.

He hummed as he glided down. He hoped Vanitas still remembered the way to the Land. Did he need to pick him up? He couldn’t imagine Vanitas wanting to be picked up at his, uh… home? Vanitas lived somewhere, he was sure. Everyone did, right? He would never disclose where he lived, and Ven insisted that he, Aqua, and Terra give Vanitas plenty of privacy. Privacy was important, and reminding Terra and Aqua not to snoop kept him on the straight and narrow, as well. He couldn't help being curious, but he knew it'd be such a break of what little trust Vanitas had in them, in **_him_ ** , and he didn't want to risk it. He **_wouldn't_ **.

It wouldn’t be too helpful if they ran him off, and he could be… _nervous,_ especially around them, and to put it lightly. He had almost thought Vanitas was scared, but even though Vanitas wasn’t there, and couldn’t possibly hear him in his own head, he decided to avoid the word, for his sake. He knew how much Vanitas hated being seen as weak, even though he really, **_really_ ** wasn’t. Vanitas was one of the strongest people he knew, even if he’d probably never be able to say that out loud.

\---

The next day, Vanitas came to the Land, flying down to meet them at the front of the stairs like they had agreed over text the night before. It was such a fantastically beautiful day; sunny, barely a cloud in the sky. Everything seemed so green, the sky extra blue, and it smelled like freshly cut grass, to top it all off. Perhaps that was just Ven’s excitement bleeding through to his senses, but he didn’t mind one bit. 

Vanitas, on the other hand, seemed a lot less excited. In fact, if someone could be negative-excited, he was sure that someone would be Vanitas. When his helmet finally melted away, his eyes were on the ground, and he demanded that there be some kind of rules put in place. Conditions, so to speak. He swore he needed them for this to work, and Ven enthusiastically agreed, ignoring Aqua’s huff of frustration and Terra’s unease.

The conditions of the agreement were pretty simple, in all actuality. He didn’t have to be around long, only an hour at least, and he didn’t want to stay if he got uncomfortable. Terra added that he wanted him to _try_ , that it was all they really asked for. And no spells during training, of course, but Aqua mumbled that that was _always_ a rule, _regardless_. They could train with spells another time, their usual training was for technique and physical power.

“If you don’t want to train,” Ven spoke firmly, “you can just watch, also. If you’re not feeling it, we won’t force you to fight.” 

Vanitas’ eyebrows raised, and he leant back as if Ven’s words had been a strong breeze that smacked him square in the chest.

“What?” Aqua questioned, and put a hand on Ven’s shoulder. “Ven, if he’s here to train, he can’t just--”

Ven put his hand on her own, and looked at her hard. While he had expected her disagreement, he was still disappointed, but he pushed it down. He was _not_ backing down from this. It was a requirement, not a suggestion. He was going to do everything in his power to make Vanitas feel comfortable, and he wouldn’t budge on that. Aqua’s shoulders drooped, and she pulled her hand away.

“We’ll discuss it later,” Terra said, taking Aqua’s hand and giving it a squeeze. “No reason to worry about it now. Besides…” He looked softly at Vanitas, and after a moment, let go of Aqua’s hand and walked over to him. 

“Vanitas,” He spoke gently, “you look uncomfortable. Of course, there will be an adjustment period, especially to _us_ , but… I don’t want to push you too hard. That wouldn’t be right, and I don’t want spending time with us to feel like a chore. Do you wanna start for real tomorrow?”

He glanced at his brother, and Ven’s shoulders drooped when he saw the fear in Vanitas’ eyes. He felt bad for not realizing it sooner; of course he would be scared, Aqua seemed so tense, and watching them discuss his fate so intensely… Maybe Ven was thinking of it too dramatically, but it must’ve been real unpleasant, regardless.

Vanitas nodded and made his helmet reform. He turned, and after a moment’s hesitation, hurriedly walked down the slope. 

When he was sure Vanitas was out of earshot, Ven turned to Aqua and Terra, letting the disappointment he had pushed down earlier rear its head and take hold of his heart.

“I’m ashamed of you guys,” He scolded, trying to keep his cool.

“What?!” Aqua frowned. “Ven, what are you talking about? Don’t tell me you’re still defending-- You _can’t_ defend him, not after everything he’s done to you!”

Terra put a hand on her arm. “Aqua…”

“Aqua,” Ven interrupted, “that was in the past, it’s not like that anymore!” He clenched his fists. “Vanitas has changed, and that’s a good thing. He didn’t attack anyone, just like I knew he wouldn’t. Like I _swore_ to you he wouldn’t. I trust him, I don’t understand why you can’t!”

He had had similar conversations with Aqua time and time again since Vanitas had been given a new body. This one was no different, but Ven was tired of them. He didn’t want to argue with anyone, especially Terra or Aqua. He just couldn’t understand why she was still so angry at Vanitas. Sure, he had done some bad things, but they couldn’t be that bad. It was so long ago, too.

“Ven, he tried to _kill_ you.” Aqua squatted down, grabbing his shoulders and staring into his eyes. “He tried to end your _life._ ”

“That happens sometimes! Zack tried to kill Terra, didn’t he? And he’s still our friend.”

Huh. Actually, he hadn’t seen Zack in a while. He wondered how he was--

“That was **_completely_ ** different!” She countered. “Zack was being controlled by darkness, Vanitas did everything of his own free will.” 

Ven took a breath in, and closed his eyes.

“Can you be _so_ sure of that?” Opening his eyes, Ven put his hands on hers. “Can you be _completely_ certain that, if given a choice, a **REAL** choice, Vanitas still would have done every single thing he had back then?”

“I--” Aqua’s grip loosened. A pain sunk into his shoulders, and he realized that she had been gripping his shoulders harder than he thought. 

“Ven.” She whispered. “You _don’t_ know that. You **_can’t_ ** say that for certain.”

“I’m… I’ll be honest.” Terra spoke, resting his chin in the crook of his index finger and thumb. “I am hesitant about letting him stay here for any length of time, especially when it comes to training and fighting. I _want_ him to trust us, and I _want_ us to be friends. But... he has done a lot of terrible things, Ven. I don’t want you getting hurt again, you went through so much last time. Aqua and I are concerned about your safety, it’s what is most important to us. Sure, he’s been aggressive towards us in the past, but he focused most of that aggression on _you_ .”

Ven couldn’t believe what he was hearing. How did they feel so differently than he did? Sure, friends sometimes had different ideas and feelings, and that was a good thing! But their ideas felt totally opposing, like they weren’t on the same page at all.

“You both--” 

He wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t have enough information, enough memory, about everything that had happened. He knew it was awful, he remembered the feeling of dread, but was that all? It couldn’t be, but what could he say that would make them realize…?

He had to try, either way. He wanted them to understand, or at least for them to empathize, even a little. He just needed a little.

“You...both have personal experiences with how much darkness, especially mass amounts of darkness, wears you out.” 

He tried to push his own personal beliefs about darkness and light away from him, but his thoughts overtook him. While their hurt was real, and he never wanted to make it seem less than it was, he thought the causes for the events leading up to everything were all so inane. Darkness vs. Light being Evil vs. Good… absolutely idiotic.

Darkness and light were two sides of the same coin, two different types of energy. People could use darkness for evil and bad intentions, but couldn’t the same be said for light? The fact that darkness was mostly used by villains and the like was just a terrible, terrible coincidence. There were plenty of people he knew who used darkness in their normal fighting styles; God, Terra was one of them! Hadn't Xion, Lea, and Roxas worn those cloaks, spent so much time with the Organization, and still been revered as guardians of light? 

Hadn’t Riku used both, even used mostly darkness, and wasn’t he described as a beacon of light? Hadn’t Aqua and Terra described him as _the_ light that had drawn them closer to their destinies? They had been so adamant about it, so clear on how pure his light was, and still seen him fight, had still seen his style and power. It felt so faded, so vague, but Ven had a sense that he knew Riku had been through so much, had touched so much darkness, and yet he was still... Didn’t that mean anything at all?

His wanderings were getting him distracted.

Ven put a hand on the back of his head, collecting his thoughts. 

“Vanitas he-- he _just_ got a new body. He’s no longer forced to forge the χblade, and now he has to figure out what to do with his life, when that was all he was supposed to be made for! It’s hard, and I’m sure he feels alone.” 

The memory of Vanitas standing alone near the fountains floated into his heart. It was so sad to see him so alone. Was he always like that? Was he always…?

He paused, feeling a surgence of… something, rising in his chest. He took a deep breath in, then let it out. He looked to Terra, then Aqua.

“I know that he needs help. _Our_ help. And-- And you both know loneliness, and all of the pressures and hurts that come with it. I would’ve expected you to be more empathetic; we should be supporting Vanitas every way we can! If he needs the extra help, or if he needs space, or acceptance, or **_whatever_ ** !! Then-- Then that's what we'll give him. Vanitas suffered as much as any of us, _is_ suffering, just as much as any of us. He deserves a chance, just like anyone else ever has or ever will. Please, _we_ have to give him that chance. It has to be _us_ , it can’t be anyone else. _We_ have to be there for him."

He took a shaky breath in, forcing his emotions down. 

“ **_Please._ **”

They hadn’t argued against it, after that.

\---

While the following two weeks were rough, the month and a half after was as smooth sailing as Ven figured it could get with their situation. While Vanitas sat out most days, quietly watching everyone spar, he still showed up every single day, without fail, even if only for five minutes. He’d almost always say hi to everyone on his way in, and Ven and Terra would always give him a smile and wave back. Aqua usually wouldn’t acknowledge his presence, and while Ven was frustrated with it, he figured it was better than her glaring daggers at him. At least, he hoped it was. He wasn’t brave enough to ask Vanitas. He didn’t think he could bear to see him so fearful again. He didn’t want to inflict that pain upon Vanitas again, either.

It had been one of the rare days where Vanitas actually trained with them. Of course, even if Terra playfully tried to egg him on, Vanitas only sparred with Ven. He would never spar with Terra, and Aqua… Well, Ven was determined to get him to the point where he could fight Terra and Aqua some day, but baby steps were important! Sometimes, he was overjoyed that Vanitas simply spent time with him at all, but if he ever said it out loud, he was sure that Vanitas would make fun of him for it. 

In fact, he _knew_ he would. Vanitas had already said that the fact that Ven wanted to hang out with him in the first place was "kind of lame", imagine what he'd think if he knew Ven **_loved_ ** his brother. Oh, man. He'd probably never hear the end of that one. The thought made him smile. It was another thing he couldn’t say out loud to Vanitas, but he hoped that one day he could. He wanted Vanitas to hear him say the words, even if it was only once. Sometimes he wondered how Vanitas would react, but that was silly to think about. If he wanted to know how he would react, he could just say the words, but everything was already so fragile. He held his tongue when the feeling grew, lest Vanitas and all of their time together shatter into a fine dust.

But, something about Vanitas was… off today. He couldn't explain what it was, but he knew _something_ was bugging him. Maybe he was overreacting, but the dark circles looked a little heavier, his movements a little more pained. Even his hair looked shaggier than it usually did, as if he'd rolled out of bed and haphazardly ran his fingers through his hair. 

Vanitas never told him how he was feeling, and would change the subject when Ven asked, but trying to read him was impossible, and it felt like Vanitas made an effort to make it even harder for him! God, sometimes he wished he could read people's emotions, like Sora could. What he wouldn't give.

Well, maybe not exactly like Sora. Sure, Sora could tell when people were sad, or hurt, but there wasn’t a lot he could do with that. He missed social cues constantly. Nobody was ever mad at him for it, it wasn’t like Sora was doing it on purpose. He was cutely oblivious, either way, which made the whole process smoother for everyone. 

He brought his thoughts back in. 

Their fight today went on as they normally did, with both of them doing an equal amount of hits. Ven was pretty impressed with how Vanitas could just sink into the ground, but whenever he asked about it, Vanitas would always tease him. It was so uncool, it’s like he was trying to deflect them growing closer with light teasing and jokes. It was fun sometimes, but…

Vanitas had gotten him good in the ankle, and Ven felt a sharp, definitely not-normal pain to the hit. On instinct, he pushed himself up into the air with a backflip, then floated softly to the ground. Just like Aqua taught him.

“Oh, did I hit you a little too _hard_?” Vanitas said, with the normal amount of edge he had to his words when he spoke to Ven, 

“My bad. Guess I wasn’t really paying attention.”

Vanitas took a step towards him, but just as his hand started to go towards Ven, he made a big, exaggerated motion with his hand and scratched his head, stopping abruptly and standing rigid. 

“Uh, anyways, you better get up and pay attention next time. If you didn’t have that quick thinking, I could have done some serious damage, _dumbass_.”

Ven laughed softly, not being able to help the smile on his face. He guessed Vanitas cared, in his own little ways.

“Sure.” He pushed himself up. “You better keep focus, too. I would **_never_ ** let it go if I did that to you!”

Vanitas rolled his eyes. “Okay, _Venty Wenty_. Go ahead and think you’d ever land a hit on me.”

Ven scoffed, though he was a lot more insulted at the nickname than the taunt, truthfully. Vanitas could do so much better than that, Venty Wenty was so obvious and easy. 

“What are you talking about, I keep landing hits on you! I hit you way more than you hit me! I’m faster than you are, remember?”

“Yeah,” Vanitas retorted, crossing his arms over his chest and smirking, “but I’m **stronger** , which is why you could never hurt my ankle like I just did yours. Just because you make a bunch of _shitty little baby hits_ on me doesn’t mean they **_matter_ ** . When you hit, you have to hit **_hard_ **, which you seem to have an inability to do.”

Ven put his hands on his hips. “That’s _such_ garbage. I can hit just as hard as you, but you’re still slower than me. I’m just… going easy on you.”

Something changed in Vanitas. He was unnaturally still for a moment, something churning inside of him. Ven faltered, and reached a hand out to his brother. Vanitas moved immediately, too quickly, pulling out his key and bringing it up, a sinister grin pulled across his face. 

“ _Oh_ ? **_Really_ ** now? Then why don’t you hit me like you _mean_ it, Ventus? Maybe then, we’ll be able to _get_ somewhere.”

Something about this was wrong, but again, he couldn’t place it. He glanced to his right, seeing Chirithy hiding behind a rock, paw to mouth in worry, and then to his left, where Aqua and Terra sat casually as they discussed something or other, their focus on each other and not on Ven and Vanitas. Everything was fine, and he was… probably overreacting. Probably.

Still hesitant, he got into a weak, loose stance. Vanitas cackled bitterly, and it sent a familiar chill up Ven’s spine. Vanitas only laughed like _that_ when he-- 

“What, are you still _asleep_ or something? You need another decade to think it over?” Ven grimaced, felt an old, buried anger rise in his stomach. “It’s a fight, _stupid_ . I can see it on your face and in your stance that you don’t intend to actually hit me. **Grow up**.”

He was a little disgusted at the taunt, it wasn’t at all like Vanitas’ usual ones. They were usually teasing, jokey, but that had just been... cruel; so unlike Vanitas. It's not like he _enjoyed_ putting his heart through such strain that he had no choice but to go to Sora's, and it wasn't a damn **_choice_ ** . It had all been… such a big mess. But there was no point in poking at the healing wound, and there was especially no point in being a complete **_ass_ ** about it.

Ven flipped his keyblade, got a tighter grip on it, and lowered his stance, glaring at Vanitas. If he needed to kick his ass a little bit, that was fine. He tried not to get frustrated with his brother, but, Jesus _Christ_ , did Vanitas really know how to get on his fucking nerves when he wanted to. Maybe he shouldn’t be so soft on him, all it seemed to do was go to his damn head.

A single once-over of Vanitas was all it took for his rage to plummet just as quickly as it had rose. With Vanitas studying him, it gave him a chance to really take in Vanitas’ image. The edges of his coat were ripped and dirty, like he never took it off. _Did_ he take it off? Did he… **_have_ ** anything else? He could see the reds and blacks of his usual bodysuit, thanks to Vanitas' modifications of the… what did they call themselves? Organization something? Their signature black coats were easily recognizable, either way, even if Vanitas had cut the skirt to just above his knees. Roxas and Xion hadn’t worn their coats since he’d met them, but they hadn’t ever looked like this.

Either way, weren't they past the Organization now? Vanitas refused to talk to him about it, so didn't that mean that his time with the Organization was painful? Why would he keep objects that only brought him pain? If they hurt him, why would he--

Vanitas’ smile grew just a bit more crooked in a way that not only confirmed Ven’s earlier unease, but made it grow tenfold. Vanitas paused for the briefest of moments, and squinted his eyes. Something dark shined in the corner of Ven’s vision. Before Ven could glance towards it, Vanitas shot up into the air, almost as if he was daring Ven to look away from him. 

With a dangerous, violent force, he slammed his key down, and shot towards the ground, with Ven standing right above the bullseye. He only had milliseconds to shoot his body away, bringing his arm up to try and keep the dust out of his eyes. As the dust cleared, he saw the look of complete desperation on Vanitas’ face turn into one of pure rage as he turned his eyes towards his target. 

Again, he shot into the air, this time twice as fast. As quickly as Ven could, he held his Key in front of him in an attempt to block. The force from the connection made his arms sting, as their Keys _clanged_ against each other so hard that they sparked, and the ringing metals made every other sound in the area disappear.

Without thinking, Ven let his body take over as his mind wandered, as if on autopilot. Sure, he had been holding back, but had Vanitas, as well? While this fight had already been significantly and _frighteningly_ different, he only grew confused. It didn’t make any sense; Vanitas never held back. He took every opportunity to kick Ven’s ass, or at least… he used to. He knew Vanitas had changed, he had told Aqua and Terra he had. This seemed like such a big thing to notice, that it made him wonder how gradual it was. Had something changed in Vanitas in that decade he was asleep? Probably not, but… maybe he’d been in a stasis like how he, Aqua, and Terra had, or... 

He… wow, he didn’t know. He didn’t know what had happened to his own brother. He didn’t really feel too good about that. Not at all. The memory was hazy, even though it had only been a little over a month. Ven had woken up one day, and Sora had been there with Kairi, holding Chirithy, and they had told him that Vanitas had a body now and would wake up soon at Radiant Garden, and they needed him there for--

_“You aren’t! Paying!_ **_Attention_ ** _!”_

Vanitas slammed his key into Ven’s shoulder, and Ven let out a yelp as the violent force almost knocked him down.

“Va-”

“Shut up and **_fight_ **!”

Vanitas swirled around Ven and tried the same move again, but Ven was prepared this time. He parried, and as Vanitas tried to recover from the surprise, Ven saw an opening, just below the knee. The surge of anger from earlier came back and rushed through his brain, and after mustering all of his strength and then some, he _slammed_ his keyblade into Vanitas' leg.

A sickening _snap_. Something had definitely broken. Ven watched in horror as Vanitas clenched his teeth, a whimper escaping as he desperately tried not to fall to the ground. Ven's stomach turned, and he swallowed hard in an attempt to control it. Vanitas tried in vain to retaliate, but Ven had been correct-- he was much faster than Vanitas was, the pain making Vanitas even slower. He didn't want to hurt Vanitas, he never did. He was so stubborn and reckless sometimes... He had to get him subdued before he did something stupid, and then they could cast Curaga and it would all be fine! Ven pushed past his fluttering heartbeat and the nausea that crawled it's way back up his throat.

Like lightning, he spun around Vanitas and smacked him hard in the back, knocking him onto the dirt beneath them. Vanitas caught himself, but not without a groan of pain and a slip of his non-broken ankle, and flipped just in time to guard himself with his key as Ven jumped up and slammed his own down. They both shook viciously from the pressure, and once he noticed the genuine terror on Vanitas’ face, it was replaced with something… else. He couldn’t describe it, he’d never seen it on Vanitas’ face before. He didn’t want to see it ever again.

He glanced down at Vanitas' leg in an attempt to see something else, anything else, but his eyes shot back immediately. How could he have done such a terrible thing? He couldn't bear the thought that _he_ had done that to Vanitas; the guilt corroded him. 

His arms still shaking from the continued force between them, his apology started to pool out before he could think of something that would calm Vanitas down. Before he could stop it.

"Vanitas, your leg, I-- I'm sor--"

“H-Haha,” Vanitas wheezed, which stopped Ven's words like a plug in a sink, “ _imagine_ how our fights could have _been--_ if you’d been actually doing this from the start! D--”

Vanitas looked like he tried to smile, but it simply looked like he was clenching his teeth in pain. He very well might have been. 

“do you even fight like this with **_those two_ **?”

“Wh-- Of course I fucking don’t!” Ven's voice raised an octave in sheer distress, “What is _wrong_ with you?” 

Vanitas’ shoulders shook from what he hoped, with all his heart, was laughter. 

“Vanitas, _who_ trains like this? This--this is crazy! I think I might've actually _broken your_ **_leg_ ** ! It's-- It’s not even training, it’s just fighting, like how **_we_ ** used to! There's nothing to be gained from this--”

“There’s _everything_ to be gained from this,” Vanitas spat, “don’t you see, don’t you get it? **_YOU_ ** get **_EVERYTHING_ ** you want, Ventus, while I get **_nothing._ ** How can you be sad, or upset, when you--” He let out an angry wheeze, “you have everything that I’ve ever craved for and so much more. How can I not loathe your very existence, when you waste what you’ve been so foolishly gifted?”

“What?!” 

Ven’s thoughts raced. What did he mean by that? Is this really how Vanitas had felt, this whole time? What had he been--

“If I train like my life is on the line, is it not normal?” Vanitas’ words came out in a slow, pained pace, concentrated and hard. “Isn’t my life always at risk, isn’t death one gentle step away? What’s so different from this, than when we failed to forge the χblade? It sure feels the same to **_me_ ** , Ventus. Doesn’t it feel the same to **_you_ **?”

Ven frowned, determined now more than ever to overpower his brother. “No, it doesn't!" He strained, gritting his teeth as he pushed against Vanitas. 

"Vanitas, if you do this shit all the time, especially with two _masters_ , you’re going to get yourself **killed**!”

Vanitas’ right leg connected with Ven’s stomach, and Ven coughed as he flew into the air and landed on his back with a thud, a groan pushing itself out of his lungs. He felt something sharp shooting through his side as he connected with the earth, and he turned over and coughed again. Blood splattered onto the ground, and fear pulsed through Ven. His mind went into overdrive, and he was flung back to the first time he and Vanitas had fought at the Graveyard. 

Now, the only thing on his mind was making sure he survived.

He spun back around, grabbed his key, and shot three bolts of Firaga at Vanitas. Vanitas let it hit him, laughing as it pushed him back. He returned fire with a large, seemingly unending bolt of Dark Thundaga that ripped a scream of pain out of Ven.

Vanitas' form shifted into a pool of darkness, and he flowed into the ground, rushed over. Just as fast, he shot out and grabbed a fistful of Ven’s collar in one fell swoop.

“ _Hilarious_ , isn’t it, Ventus?”

He aimed his Key right at Ven’s heart. The key began to glow with green magic, and the wind quickly picked up around them, hurting both of them in the process. The wind sliced at Ven’s face, and even as he squinted his eyes from the pain, he could see the same happening to Vanitas.

“That’s **_EXACTLY_ ** what I w-”

Vanitas was ripped away from Ven, held up by the back of his collar by Aqua. Terra softly caught Ven, and pulled him into his chest as he sunk with him to the ground, as carefully as if he was a Dandelion turned to seed. He nervously checked over Ven, feeling his forehead, checking Ven’s reactions as he lightly tapped his way up Ven’s arms, legs, then side. When Terra touched his side, he shrunk into Terra's chest, letting out a sob.

“What the _fuck_ is wrong with you, Vanitas?” Aqua growled, with a frightening violence he’d _never_ heard from her. “You could have-- **_killed_ ** Ven! The **_one_ ** rule--” He heard Vanitas make another sharp noise of pain, and Ven could only assume that Aqua was shaking him. 

“ **_NO_ ** spells. That means **_no_ ** Aeroga, and **_no_ ** Thundaga!” Aqua yelled.

The noise made Ven push through the hurt to cover his ears, trying to cut out what pain he could. He turned towards them as best as he was able, watching as Vanitas squirmed in her grasp.

“V-Vani--?” Ven tried to call for Vanitas, but the only thing that came out was a pained whisper. Terra’s hold around him loosened, and while he hoped it was Terra trying to help him, with the look on his face, it seemed like he was too in shock to register that Ven was trying to escape his arms in the first place.

“What the _fuck,_ ” Vanitas mimicked, “are you talking about?! Ventus shot **_ME_ ** with Firaga-- No, **_TRIPLE_ ** Firaga, **_FIRST_ **.” He stopped, then gasped in a fake, overdramatic way. 

“Oh, **_stupid_ ** _Vanitas_ , I forgot! Ventus is still your _‘pewfect wittle babie’_ who can do no wrong, isn’t he? Are the rules only in effect when it’s **convenient** for _you_ and your _stupid_ little family unit, **_Master_ **?” He ended, with a mocking spat, as if the words were a poison on his tongue.

“You are such a horrible little **_freak_ **!” Aqua barked, pulling out Master’s Defender.

“Aqua-! _Pl_ -!” Ven reached out a hand, his voice too weak to reach her. Terra pulled Ventus closer to him, his eyes wide as he watched Aqua and Vanitas, holding Ven like he was the only thing in the all of the Worlds that could give him comfort as he witnessed the horrors in front of him. 

“And what gives **YOU** the **_RIGHT_ ** to touch **_ME_ ** ?” Vanitas barked back, just as furious. “Do you _really_ think we’re some kind of… _fucked up_ group of friends still?” 

He turned his focus straight at Terra, and fear shot through Ven's heart by the sheer amount of hurt and rage in Vanitas' eyes. “We never were friends, and we never _WILL_ be. I **HATE** you people and your **STUPID** idea of **FAMILY** and **_LOVE_**. It’s **_VILE_**.” 

In a fast, sweeping motion, Vanitas dug his feet into Aqua’s stomach and launched himself out of her grasp. She doubled over, but quickly regained her composure. She jumped into the air, reeled back as her Keyblade started to spark with frost, and tossed it. He pulled out Void Gear, blocking it easily as the frost shot up his key and attached to his fingers. Ven would go so far as to say he expected the attack.

As Terra put Ends of the Earth in front of Ven like a shield, Vanitas opened a portal, one darker than the ones the trio used. Terra and Aqua both gasped, but Ven just felt… something. He tried not to be mad at Terra and Aqua, but he couldn’t stop himself. Ven couldn't understand _why,_ he struggled to understand _why_ . _Why_ it mattered what kind of portal he had used; _why_ Vanitas was so hurt and angry; **_WHY_ ** they couldn't just **_TALK_ ** about it. There was so much happening at once, and none of it made any sense to him! If they just--

Vanitas turned to them, and when Ven saw the tears welling up in his brother’s eyes, it was over. The pain in his side, the pain that coursed through his body, no longer mattered. He twisted, pushed himself up, moved his arms around Terra's Key, reaching out to Vanitas. He tried to pull himself away from Terra, but Terra wrapped his arms tighter around Ven, and Ven was too weak to wiggle out. In vain, he kept trying to stretch his arms out to Vanitas. He _refused_ to stop reaching for his brother.

“V-Vanitas!” Ven strained, tears welling up in his own eyes. “Please-- please!”

Vanitas’ vision bored into Ven. He didn’t seem to be looking at Ven, instead, he looked like he was simply looking in the same direction. 

As if Ven wasn’t there. Maybe Vanitas wasn’t either.  
  


He had to reach him, had to do something. This isn’t how he wanted things to be. He didn't want to lose Vanitas. He couldn’t.  
“ ** _Vanitas!_** _Please,_ stay! **_Please_** , talk to me!”

Finally, Vanitas squinted his eyes, the tears cascading down his cheeks. He focused on Ven in such a way that made him feel like a deer being hunted. A chill went up his spine.

  
“When you see me next,” Vanitas spoke, cold as ice, “I hope I’m a **_corpse_**.”

And then, he turned and disappeared into the portal as Ven pleaded on deaf ears for his brother to come back.


	2. Pompeii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ven wakes once again, and he acquires a new destiny, one that has a cost too heavy to understand; taking a hold of his heart in more ways than he realizes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for paranoia, breakdowns, memory loss, panic attacks, repetition, intrusive thoughts, mention of past 'death', mention of past stabbing (that scene in kh1. You Know.)
> 
> SORRY THAT TOOK SO LONG, HELLO!!! nice to see u all again :]!! i'd like to personally apologize to ventus kingdomhearts for putting him through [motions to the whole of this] but also it's okay bc sometimes we just experience mental illness. it's a part of the journey. but also he will be okay bc i do not write about suffering with no end! i only care about healing and being funny and that's IT <3 anyways, hope u enjoy!!
> 
> \-- I was left to my own devices // Many days fell away with nothing to show --

A gentle warmth enveloped him. A blanket on him, so soft and--

_ Vanitas. _

His eyes snapped open and he forced himself up. Faint, shocking pain shot through his side and he gasped aloud, hands flying to his torso. Before he could reach it, Terra’s hands wrapped around his, pulling them into his chest and bringing Ven closer to him, his expression relieved and pleading all at once. Ven's face contorted in perplexed disdain as he tried, with no avail, to pull back. His brother’s grip was steadfast, but he  _ needed _ to go,  _ now _ ; There was no time for whatever Terra was trying to accomplish. What  _ WAS _ he trying to accomplish?

“Terra, what--”

“Ven!”

Aqua’s novel was discarded to the floor without care as she rushed over. Panicked, she put one hand on his forehead, cradling his jaw in the other. 

“Ven, I’m so glad you woke up." She moved the hand on his forehead to cradle the free side of his face. "You’ve been asleep for eight days, Ven, we--”

“I was  **_asleep_ ** ?” Emotions, vast and intense, erupted within his chest. Ven tried not to sound angry, because he wasn’t, at least not at them. His skin crawled, agitation making him clench and unclench his fists rapidly as he jerked away from Aqua. 

Of course he had slept. Of course he had, of all the  _ stupid _ things to waste his time with, it was  **_SLEEPING_ ** . This wasn’t the time to sleep, this was the time to move! God, all those hours wasted, when he could have been looking. Vanitas was--

“Ventus.” Terra’s hands moved to Ven’s, and he intertwined their fingers. His expression was intense, pleading, and Ven forced himself not to pull away; Terra only said his full name when he was being serious, because he knew it would make Ven listen. Terra’s eyes seemed to say, ‘focus on me, focus directly on me and nothing else,’ so he did.

Keeping his gaze even, Terra breathed in slowly. Ven did the same. 

Terra breathed out, even slower, and while Ven struggled, he followed his lead.

They did this a few times, and when Ven no longer felt like his brain was made of static and his head drooped to the side, visibly relaxed, Terra's shoulders relaxed as well.

“ _ Please _ , listen to me, Ven. You need rest. We can’t let you leave right now, you have to heal.”

“Didn’t you Curaga on me? I’m fine!” He protested, not being able to stop himself from whining.

“Ven…” Aqua wrapped her arms around his head and sighed. He frowned, and even though he tried to wiggle free, Aqua's grip felt like iron. Usually, Ven loved it when Aqua hugged him, loved the physical closeness of being held by someone, of being reminded with touch that he had friends and that they loved him and cared for him so intensely. 

But, right now, it didn't  _ feel _ like she was doing it for love. It  _ felt _ like she was doing it to block his vision and keep him there, where he wouldn’t run away. Where he wouldn’t run towards Vanitas, and what  _ she _ thought was danger. He was all-too-aware of how she felt about Vanitas, and he couldn’t just wash away that knowledge. All of it... it didn’t feel  _ right. _ He couldn’t help but  _ feel _ like she was using herself as a barrier.

“Some wounds are deep, and take a little longer to heal. There’s only so much Curaga can do, you can’t overexert yourself.”

Terra squeezed his hands, an attempt to comfort Ven. He placed himself, gentle as could be, next to Ven’s blanketed legs. “How are you feeling?” He asked, soft- a feather.

He couldn’t stand not seeing anymore.

“Aqua--” Ven put a hand on her arms. “Please?”

She hesitated. Slowly, she pulled her arms away, and sat on the other side of Ven’s legs. She looked so guilty, so did Terra. Something about it made him stomach churn and twist, and he couldn’t stand it.

“I’m fine, I have to  _ go _ \--”

“You can’t, not now!” Aqua put her hands over Ven and Terra’s, giving them a little shake. “Please, Ven, you can’t go yet. You have to stay here and heal.”

“What do you remember, Ven? Anything?” Terra released one of his hands, using it to cradle Ven’s jaw as he rubbed his cheek with his thumb. “Don’t push yourself, but we need to know what you remember.”

He took a deep breath in and out. Okay, they weren’t going to let him leave. He felt totally and completely fine but if this was the way it had to be, then that was that. For now.

He thought back as best as he could to the direct aftermath of their fight. After Vanitas-- Vanitas… After his portal disappeared, Ven had started losing consciousness, but he remembered hearing Aqua, falling to her knees as she yelled curses at Vanitas and pounded her fists on the dirt. He remembered Terra holding him close, warm and frozen all at once. He was sure they must have carried him back here, after that.

This room… he had never been in this room before, he hadn't realized it was here in the first place. Was it an infirmary? It was nice. There was one other bed; ten feet away, sharing the same thin white-cotton sheets that were draped across his lap. He could see the midday sky out of the window in front of him, gentle lace curtains pulled to the sides with long chestnut ribbons. The sky seemed just as blue as when Vanitas had-- Oh, they asked him a question. Right.

“Um… we fought, Vanitas and I. You pulled us apart, and then I passed out. And I woke up here… That’s all I remember.” He grimaced. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, Ven. You don’t need to apologize for anything at all.” Terra smiled softly, and looked over to Aqua. “We brought you here after you passed out, and you’ve been safe while you’ve slept.” He smirked. “Aqua’s been pacing a lot, you know how she is. I was concerned it was gonna wake you up. Her heels clack pretty loudly--”

“Oh, hush up.” Aqua pushed his face away, and Terra chuckled. “I was  _ worried _ , you can’t make fun of me for that! I…” She pulled her hand back, holding it in a fist against her chest. “I wasn’t here for Ven the last time he slept, and...” She trailed off, lips pulled into a thin line as her eyes started to water.

“Aqua.” Ven put his hand on her fist. “You were here _ this  _ time. That’s what matters, I promise. Thank you for waiting for me, too! I appreciate it.” He grinned at her. “Don’t worry, I really am okay. Are… you guys… okay?” He looked between them.

Immediately, they both glared away from him and at the floor, as if they were avoiding him completely. Aqua’s hand tensed in his as she frowned.

He took it as a solid ‘no’.

“Well, you have to let me leave, either way.” Ven forced them back on track. “He’s never gonna come back here on his own. I have to go get--”

“No.”

Aqua stood up.

Ven was too stunned to say anything.

“ _ Aqua, _ ” Terra's tone was warning, but he looked like he was begging, “we talked about this.” What? Talked about what? What had they said while Ven was asleep?

“Ven, I--” She paused, and sat down again. “Please, you can’t go after him anymore, at least right  **now** . He’s  **_dangerous_ ** , Ven.”

“No he isn’t.” Ven said, matter-of-factly. “He’s not dangerous. I’m going to see him. I’m going to ask him what’s wr--”

“What will happen after you see him? He’ll try to hurt you again, Ven.”

“You don’t know that!” He argued, voice raising in pitch, “There was something--”

“Why are you defending him?” Aqua asked, interrupting him again. “What has he done that makes you defend him after all of the terrible things he did to you?”

He couldn’t answer that. He scrambled for anything, any memory at all that would charge Vanitas with an unforgivable crime, but nothing came. Was he missing something important again? Was there real justification for them not wanting him to be around Vanitas? His eyes stung at the thought, but he forced himself not to cry. He didn’t have a reason for caring, did he? 

Did he _ truly  _ need a reason to care about his brother _? _

“Ven, you just need to stay home.” Aqua put a hand on his head, rubbed his hair a little as she smiled. “Rest, and we can put all of this behind us- pretend it never happened. We can go back to how it used to be, okay? Training, and spending time together, like we’re supposed to.”

He stiffened. “I don’t.  **Want** that.” He turned to her. “Aqua, that’s what  _ you _ want.  _ You _ want things to go back to how they used to be,  _ you _ want to put everything behind us, but  _ I _ don’t.  _ I _ want to be friends with Vanitas, and that means our lives will have to change completely. God, they already have! Haven’t you seen it? We’ve already changed so much since it all began.” 

He grabbed her hand and held it gently in his own, hoping that he could make her understand. “We can’t go back, and even if we could, I don’t want to. We should be moving forward, Aqua! ...We owe that to everyone that we’ve had to leave behind.”

Horror spread over Aqua’s face as she realized who Ven meant. She closed her eyes, took a sharp breath in, and cleared her emotions at best she could. Pulling her hand away, she stood up, and let a breath out. When she opened her eyes and looked at Ven, however, it was over. 

Her calm and collected expression broke. Instantly, she looked enraged, hurt, scared, and so many more emotions that Ven wasn’t even sure he could name, much less keep up with, all in the span of a few seconds.

“You  _ can’t _ see him.” She spoke, her voice straight. “You’re to stay here, do you understand? If you go out and look for him, you’ll _ die,  _ Ven.” She turned away, and Terra followed suit. “We’re your guardians now. We have to do what’s best for you, even if it’s hard. Even if we don’t want to.”

“ **_Aqua_ ** ,” Terra looked at Ven, and then ran over to Aqua. “we-- let’s go outside for a bit, okay? We’ll walk for a while.” He turned back to Ven again with an expression Ven didn’t understand, and then ushered Aqua out of the room.

He smacked his forehead and leant against the headboard. He had just turned seventeen, he wasn’t a kid anymore! They didn’t need to be his guardians, he hadn’t even asked them to! They didn’t need to make hard decisions for him; he could do that himself. He wasn’t useless! God, had they always babied him like this, or had it just gotten more noticeable as he’d gotten older? Vanitas had teased him for it once or twice, but he hadn’t seen the extent of it until now; now that it was staring him in the face, now that he couldn’t avoid it anymore. It was absolutely infuriating. 

Maybe he had been right, all those years ago in Radiant Garden. Maybe the title of ‘Master’ truly had gone to Aqua’s head. Maybe it was getting to Terra’s now, too.

He hated arguing with them, it felt awful. Not to mention pointless, it’s not like either of them were ever going to budge when it came to Vanitas. He felt stupid for thinking anything was going to change, for trying to force that change upon Aqua, and for making them run around in circles over and over again. He wanted to see his brother, Aqua didn’t, Terra didn’t, and that was the end of it. Nothing would sway his heart, and he could only guess that they felt the same. 

There was no point in trying to make her understand something that she didn’t want to see. They were called fool’s errands for a reason, weren’t they? He wished he had realized it sooner. To save them all the trouble and heartache.

He sighed, long and loud. He needed to focus. With their walk, he finally had some peace and quiet, and he needed to take the chance while it was in front of him. He had to start on a plan--

“I thought they’d never leave!”

A poof, and when his friend landed in his lap, a sharp squeak forced its way past Ven’s lips. Chirithy immediately put his paws on his shaking head.

“Sorry, sorry! I keep forgetting you’re not used to it yet!”

“It’s--” He brought his voice back to its normal octave with a cough. “It’s okay, Chirithy. I don’t know why I didn’t expect you to show up, honestly. Wh-Um, wait,”

He put a hand on Chirithy’s head. “Why didn’t you show up earlier?”

“Aqua and Terra were very tense while you were asleep, and I was… honestly, a little worried about them attacking me. I don’t think I can properly explain just how on-edge they were, Ven. It was really, really bad.” Chirithy explained. “And then you guys had that fight… Something was bothering them, more than what I think was normal. They got worse as the days dragged on, too. Aqua never left the room, but Terra was gone most of the time. It’s pretty lucky that you got them during lunchtime, actually! Terra has been taking Aqua’s teaching duties.”

Ven flushed. “Aw, man. She-- She did that for me?” He felt even worse for arguing with Aqua now. An even worse feeling crept up, then: how awful he felt for distrusting her with such conviction, for assuming that she had this ulterior agenda of keeping him away from Vanitas. He knew she loved him a lot, and she just wanted them all to be safe and happy... it was cruel of him to spit in something that gave her such comfort, or to judge her for being concerned about the safety of that comfort. He couldn’t blame her for wanting to revert to the safety she remembered, but… What about Vanitas’ safety? What about his comfort? Why couldn’t they compromise?

Chirithy giggled. “You keep forgetting how much your friends care about you. They love you just as much as you love them, Ven!” Then, he looked down. “I know you want to go find Vanitas, but I think you should rest, at least for another day.”

“What?!” Ven put himself in Chirithy’s line of sight. “But, Chirithy!”

“I know!!” He waved his arms. “But your health comes first. What if Vanitas attacks you?”

“He wouldn’t.” Ven’s heart swelled. “He wouldn’t attack me.”

“Ven, he tried to kill you!  _ Again _ , from what Terra and Aqua were saying!”

“You too?” He tried not to feel hurt over Chirithy echoing them like this.

Ven huffed, pushed the hurt away from him and replaced it with something that easier to feel. “Ugh, who cares if he did! He wasn’t like that before, Chirithy. Something happened, didn’t you see him? Something in him was different. I don’t know what I did--”

“Don’t put that on yourself, Ven.” Chirithy put a paw on his cheek. “If someone reacts in a bad way to something, that is not your fault, and it’s not fair to put it on yourself.”

When Ven looked away with a quiet pout, Chirithy sighed. “I’ll listen to you, okay? So let’s try again. Let’s think on it: word it in a different, better way!” 

He tilted his head cutely, and Ven caved on impact.

“He…” Ven sighed.

“Vanitas acts a very certain way towards me, and, yeah,  **maybe** it’s a little tense,  **sometimes** it's a little aggressive, but-- but it wasn’t  _ mean _ ! It wasn’t  _ violent _ ! He teased me a lot and never let me get that close, even though I wanted to be, but he...” 

Something about his words hurt him. He felt tears well up in his eyes, and the words suddenly came so much harder. “I… I  _ want _ to. So badly. I want to see him again.”

He hesitated, and stared at his trembling hands. 

“I-I need to. I  _ need _ to know what happened to him, and if it’s something that hurt him, I want to help him through it. I wanna be there for him. We--”

The bottle he kept his emotions in  _ shattered _ . He covered his face with his hands, the emotions spilling out of him in rough sobs that hurt his throat. He didn’t mean to get so attached to Vanitas so quickly, and despite everything that had happened. He was so tired of fighting all the time! Training was different; he didn’t care about  _ fighting _ , about all the hurt and  _ loss  _ that came from it. He just wanted to spend time with his loved ones. The big fight was over, wasn’t it? So why was everything still so hard and scary? Why did he feel so  _ lost _ ?

“I care about him so _much_ , Chirithy. I don’t know how it happened, he pushed me away but-but then he’d take a step towards me! It makes me hope that he cared about me, too! He tried to hide so many feelings from me, but sometimes things would slip through, and he’d smile or laugh, or--” He breathed in, heavy and ragged as he flopped his arms to the bed, still hunched over, protecting himself from… something. 

“Maybe he doesn’t-- consider us friends, or even acquaintances, but-but  _ I _ do, and that has to count for something, doesn’t it?” He let out a quiet breath. “ _ Please _ ?”

Chirithy touched his forehead to Ven’s, soft as a feather.

“I didn’t realize you felt this strongly, Ven.” He whispered. “I’m sorry. The paranoia in the air got to me.”

“...Do you not like Vanitas?” Ven asked, barely audible.

“I wouldn’t say that at all. He’s… different than everyone else is. His darkness is just as blinding as your light, y’know.” He giggled. “Funny how that works, isn’t it? You guys sure are interesting. Never a dull moment with you two.”

“I can’t stay here.” Ven breathed. “I can’t let Vanitas be alone. Not for one more second.”

“Do you know where he is?”

A harmless question, but it made his heart sink, and he couldn’t pick it back up this time. “No. I don’t.” He let his tears fall. “I don’t know where he is, but I have to look for him. However long it takes, I’ll find my brother and I’ll bring him back home.”

Much to Ven's disappointment, Chirithy pulled away and hopped off the bed. “Well then, let’s go!”

“Huh?” Rubbing his eyes with the bottom of his palm, Ven pulled off his sheets and set his feet on the ground.

“You wanna go, right? Let’s go then! If I’m with you, you should be okay.”

Chirithy grabbed Ven’s pant leg. “I’m here for you. What are friends for?”

A surge of joy shot through his system, and Ven picked Chirithy up under his arms and swung him around, laughing. “Thank you, Chirithy! You won’t regret it!!”

Chirithy wailed, his little arms and legs flailing in panic. "Ven, you were the one who wanted to go as soon as we could!"

Ven set him down with a wink of embarrassment and a scratch to the back of his head.

"Haha… sorry."

The breeze from the window caught his attention as it made all of his hair stand on-end. He shivered, trying to cover his bare biceps. His jacket had to be somewhere, right? He glanced around, and spotted it on the chair that Aqua had been reading her book on. 

Thoughtfully, he picked her book up off of the ground. It had such a nice cover on it; brown, decorated with fine gold needlework and lettering. He ran his fingers over it, feeling the detailings that surely had taken someone hours. Aqua… He would have to apologize later. He wasn’t sure for what exactly, yet, his mind was still buzzing and he was having trouble processing everything, but he’d figure it out, and give her an apology then. If she didn’t accept it, that was fine, but he wanted her to know that he was sorry for hurting her.

He set the book down, and grabbed his jacket. Nice, with that, he could go! He didn’t need food with him, it’s not like he couldn’t just come back, and if he was that hungry, there was food everywhere. He--

The mirror he passed caught his attention. The face that stared back at him, wide-eyed in surprise, was not his usual one. Curling around the bottom of the left side of his jaw and chin was a large, fresh scar that ended just before the corner of his mouth. It curved slightly inwards, and naturally led his vision to a much thinner scar that went from his forehead, through his right eyebrow, and past his eye, barely ending before the top of his cheek.

How had he not noticed them before? Why hadn’t Aqua, Terra, or even Chirithy pointed them out? It seemed like such a big thing to note. Not only that, but scattered along his arms he could see dozens of very tiny scars that hadn’t been there before. Had Vanitas’ Aeroga really done such a number on him? He supposed it was centered on his chest, but perhaps... Actually, he wasn’t focusing on the correct spell for this, was he?

Had the  _ Curaga _ not been casted soon enough? It tended to clear up the smaller scars, at the very least, but it looked like this time had been much different. It wasn’t his domain, so he wasn’t sure he should try to theorize the real reason, especially when he could just ask. He was good at magic, sure, but he wasn’t  _ Aqua _ . He didn’t know the ins and outs of it as intimately as she did. It’s like she breathed the stuff, if he was being honest about it. If anyone knew why the Curaga hadn’t worked as well as it usually did, it would be her. 

Considering what had happened… it’s not like he could just ask right now, could he?

Chirithy tugged on his pant leg and snapped him out of his swirl of thoughts.

“Ven? Are you okay?”

“Oh, yeah, um… Just, uh, looking at my new face.”

“Well, don’t say it like that!” Chirithy whined. “It’s just a few new scars! You’re still the same old Ven that we know and love underneath all those, and you always will be.”

He gave Chirithy a loving rub on the head. “Thank you, I’ll keep that in mind. Now, let’s go!”

Chirithy turned towards the door, but Ven was already on the move in the opposite direction. “Um… is the doorway a good idea? I know Aqua and Terra just used it, but y’know. We-- VEN!?”

Ventus glanced back to Chirithy, one foot on the windowsill.

“Uh-huh?”

“YOU _ CAN’T _ CLIMB OUT OF THE WINDOW, _ LOOK _ AT HOW HIGH  **_UP_ ** WE ARE!” Chirithy hobbled over in a terrified fashion, waving his stubby arms in a frenzy.

Ven finished climbing onto the sill with a grunt, then turned around and sat, lightly swinging his legs over the inside ledge. 

“Chirithy,” he spoke, almost monotone, “please stop yelling.”

His usual energy picked up once again. “It’s fine, look!” In a quick motion, he extended his hand, then pulled Wayward Wind out of a dazzle of light, brandishing it with immense pride. To bring even more attention to his key, he threw it up, letting it spin high and fast, collecting it out of thin air before it reached its apex. 

“I’ll summon my glider when I have both feet firmly planted on the sill, so you don’t have to worry about me. Besides, even if I fall--”

“Don’t even joke about that!” Chirithy scolded, standing in front of Ven with his arms outstretched. That was so cute, did he think he'd be able to catch him?

"I won’t fall,” Ven corrected, raising both of his hands in defense, “ **_besides_ ** , Aqua  _ did _ teach me how to land safely, and at any height. I can shoot Aero out of my shoes now, remember?”

He pointed the flat of his right shoe at Chirithy, and with only a thought, a small gust of wind pushed Chirithy's face back, almost knocking him over. His Dream Eater didn't look impressed in the slightest and he dutifully pushed his fur back in place.

Ven snickered. "C'mon, it was a  _ little _ funny."

“Well, sure, but please be careful! I’m still worried..."

A loud, horrified gasp echoed in the room, and Chirithy disappeared in a terrified puff.

“Ven?!” Aqua stood at the doorway, hand covering her mouth. “Why are you...?”

Ven’s grip on his key tightened, and his heart bubbled in frustration. Aqua  _ knew _ . She  _ had _ to know, there was no way she didn’t. Behind his back, he prepared an Aeroga.

“I’m going to find Vanitas,” 

He wasn’t fighting anymore. He wasn’t wasting any more time. 

“and I’m not taking no for an answer.”

With a wave of her arm and a flash of light, Master’s Defender was once again in her hand. Eyes glued to Ven, she tilted her head back and yelled, “TERRA!” before dashing towards him, concentrated anger clear on her face. 

Ven launched himself out of the window with his Aeroga, effectively blocking her from following him, at least until the spell dissipated. The ground was coming up fast, but he knew what to do. Throwing Wayward Wind below him as hard as he could, he straightened himself out and landed firmly on his glider. As soon as his feet touched its surface, he shot through the air, and even as the force pulled him back, he forced himself to stay on. He pushed his glider harder as he got his bearings, knowing that he’d have to book it as fast as he could if he wanted to lose Terra and Aqua. They were Masters for a reason.

A bolt of Blizzaga streaked past him, and as he watched the bolt pass, he already knew what would happen next. Sliding along the trail the spell had made was Aqua, enveloped in a light magenta glow. He made eye contact with her, then pulled back as hard as he could, gripping the top ledge and pushing himself against his glider in a squat. Aqua continued forward and away from him at an incredible speed, while he twirled and turned a hard left before flying up at an angle towards the sky. 

He smacked the button on his armor, readying himself for travel in the Lanes Between. He had to get out of the Land. If Terra--

“Ven!” Terra trailed behind him. Had he caught up while he was avoiding Aqua? Shit.

“Ven, slow down! You’re going to overdo it!”

Ven forced himself to keep going. It had been more than a week, he had slept for more than a full week. He was fully rested, even if he was in pain he knew he was fine, but that didn’t matter in the end. He couldn’t stop. If he did, he could be persuaded, and he couldn’t let that happen. Not now. Not when so much was at stake. Not when it had been, for a while.

“Please, Ven! You have to come back!” Terra called. “You have to wait!”

“You guys  _ don’t _ understand!” Ven yelled back on impulse, tilting his glider so he could look at Terra. His hurt started to spill out, all at once. “You don’t even  _ try _ ! You just think he’s dangerous and you don’t give him a chance!”

Again on her trail of Blizzaga, Aqua raced towards him.

“Ven,” She pleaded, “we  _ gave _ him a chance--”

“And then punished him when he messed up  **_once_ ** ?” Ven wailed, his throat hurting in the process. He grimaced and clenched his fists, trying to push down the rage he felt. “He was obviously suffering, and you  _ attacked _ him! You  _ hurt _ him when he was already in so much pain! Vanitas thought you guys  **_hated_ ** him! He was  **_terrified_ ** of losing what little comfort he had been given, and then his fears became real! He lost  **_everything_ ** again! Why can’t you see that?!”

Terra’s helmet vanished, and his red, tear-filled eyes sucked in Ven’s attention, forcing him to see the raw fear on Terra’s face. “Ven, he  **attacked** \--”

“And you pulled him away from me!” Ven put a hand over his heart. He wasn’t going to be interrupted anymore. “You should have stopped hurting him then!  _ I  _ broke his leg!  _ I _ hurt him!  _ I _ cast the first spell!  _ I _ shot Triple Firaga at him! He couldn’t fight anymore! And you shook him, and yelled at him, a-and kept punishing him when he had already been punished! You twisted the knives over and over again, what was the POINT of it all?”

“Ven, we cared about Vanitas, but we cared about you and your safety more.” Aqua pleaded, removing her helmet as well. “If he hurts you, then--”

“Don’t LIE to me!” Ven cried, “Don’t LIE to me about something that important!”

There was no use to any of the words he was saying, so why was he saying them in the first place? Nothing was ever going to reach them, but he wanted to. He needed to. It seemed fruitless, but there were few things his heart wanted more.

“If your love’s conditional, then it isn’t love!” He faced forward again, charged an Aeroga, and shot it directly under him as he blasted himself straight up into the air. He refused to look behind him as the clear blue sky opened into an endless space. 

There was only one place he could go that he knew would be completely safe.

\--

“...and that’s how Roxas and I first met!” Kairi folded her ankles together and smiled up at Lea.

“Man, who knew you’d be able to talk to each other just through your connection to Sora.” Lea murmured, crossing his arms over his chest. “Like, your hearts communicated on their own, and you two had never met? Hearts really are in a league of their own. Bananas. Isn’t it bananas, Isa?”

He gave Isa’s arm a bump with his elbow, but the only thing he got in return from Isa was a roll of the eyes. “I would say more along the lines of interesting, but ‘bananas’ works just fine.” Isa, faintly, smiled. “I’m fond of them, sure.”

“You just like embarrassing me.” Lea scoffed. “ **Anyways,** Kai, I think that it's sweet of you to become friends on your own, have your own bonds with him that don’t include Sora. Have you and Rox been hanging out, then?”

“Absolutely! How else would we have those very bonds, otherwise?” Kairi giggled. “The first few times we just went to skateparks and places like that, and he got me back into rollerblading! Recently, though, he’s been getting… let’s call it, bolder.” She paused, collected her thoughts. “We went to a music shop together, in Twilight Town. It was… incredible. I didn’t think they could be so enormous, so filled with such different things. There’s so many instruments, and we only had enough time for one floor.”

“Multiple floors?” Lea grinned. “I should go see what kind of guitars they have, might pick up acoustic guitar ag--”

“Oh, absolutely not.” Isa scowled. “You’re at my apartment more than yours, and you will not be plucking  that through all hours of the night. Consider guitar lessons first.”

“Aw, don’t be so  **heartless.** ” Lea flopped over on Isa’s lap, which just deepened Isa’s scowl.

They continued their fruity banter, but something caught Kairi’s attention. She glanced up, shielded her eyes from the sun to get a better look. A tiny dot growing bigger and bigger on the skyline, until she thought she could recognize…

She stood up. “Wait, guys, stop being like that for a second.” She waved to grab their attention, then pointed at the sky. 

“Look, up there. Isn’t that Ventus?”

At the mention of Ven’s name, Lea and Isa snapped up.

“Ven?!”

Lea glanced up, and broke into a big grin when he spotted his friend, clad in armor. “Oh shit, I haven’t heard from him in, like, a week!”

“You, too?” Isa asked. “I thought it was just me. I believed him to be livid with me for one reason or another.”

“That’s a strange coincidence…” Kairi muttered, thoughts starting to swirl inside of her mind. “He wasn’t answering anything from me, either. Come to think of it, Aqua and Terra never answered, too. I thought that he had just been ignoring me for some reason I didn’t quite understand, but...”

“ **Kairi** !!” Lea pulled Kairi and Isa’s arms and tugged them into his chest; using the momentum, Lea spun them into an alleyway, where he released them, turning back around as they left his hold. With the sound of the crash, she covered her ears, hoping to Kingdom Hearts Herself that Ansem wasn’t going to send any guards out here at the noise. 

He was obnoxiously sensitive about what happened in Radiant Garden, any loud noise getting a rush of guards sent over. It's not like they need it with the HBRC, but Ansem would insist that he had to protect his domain- It was a stupid way to word it  _ and _ a lie; he wasn't protecting anyone but himself. That man made her sick with disgust.

“...Lea?” Isa asked, eyes closed as he put a hand on his forehead to steady himself.

“Ven almost ran into us.” Lea spoke, voice soft and serious and drenched in worry. “He wouldn’t endanger us like that. Something’s wrong.”

He ran out of the alleyway and towards Ven, still dressed fully in his armor and unnervingly still, rested upon some bushes. His glider sat in tilt beside him, scraped from the impact.

“Hey, Ven! How’s it going, buddy?” He grabbed Ven’s hand and pulled him up before taking a step back to assess him better. “It’s been, what, a week? What kind of antics did you--”

Ven’s armor disappeared in a flash of bright light, and what was left was him; eyes red, cheeks wet with tears, and scars on his face that hadn’t been there the last time she had seen him. His clothes, while clean, had tears and holes in them, as if he’d been in some kind of horrible, violent clash. She covered her mouth with both hands to stop herself from gasping at the sight.

Lea froze, and Ven closed the gap between them, burying his face into Lea’s chest and sobbing loud and openly. Kairi and Isa exchanged glances, then ran to see if they could help.

Lea brought him gently to the ground, letting Ven fully curl into him with the safety of the ground to support him. As he rubbed circles on his back, he cooed, voice soft once again.

“It’s okay, Ven. You’re safe. You’re  **safe** . I promise you are.”

Isa took the initiative and sat on Lea’s right, putting a comforting hand on Ven’s arm. 

“Ven, we’re here. It’s okay.”

Kairi awkwardly placed herself on Lea’s left. She admired how quickly Lea and Isa had snapped into action. They were such kind souls, despite having gone through the hardships they had. But, poor Ven… She wasn’t good friends with Ven, in fact, she barely knew him. She felt terribly for him, but she didn’t know what he needed. What could she possibly do that would help him at this time? She glanced between Isa and Lea, and after taking a breath to reassure herself, she mirrored Isa, putting a hand on Ven’s arm. 

The spark that traversed right through to her heart was not what she was expecting. The emotion that spark evoked within her heart was  _ not _ what she was expecting.

Ven gasped as Kairi pulled away, hand flying to cover her heart, and Ven removed his grip on Lea’s shirt and touched his heart in the same fashion. They stared at each other, and Kairi felt as if they were seeing one another for the first time, as if Kairi had finally found a long-lost soulmate.

Signals in Kairi’s heart blared, as if on high alert, like Someone was trying to tell her how important Ven was. It felt too deep, too intimate, and she forced herself to pretend that she didn’t know what it meant. For his sake, she didn’t want it to be. She wouldn’t even let herself think it, lest it make it an unfortunate, unavoidable reality.

“Ven," he glanced at Kairi, "what happened?” then turned his attention back to Ven.

“...Are you okay?”

“I…” He looked at Lea, so sad and confused, and Kairi’s heart ached as the spark started to melt away. 

Ven buried his face in his hands, shaking his head. “Vanitas… is  _ gone. _ We had a fight, and it was  _ bad _ . He got scared and he ran away, and I have to find him. I have to. I have to.”

Isa put a hand on the back of Ven’s head, giving the hair a comforting sweep with his hand. “What of Terra and Aqua?”

“They didn’t want me to do it!” He pulled his hands from his face and turned to Isa, speaking suddenly and panicked. “They didn’t want me to leave! They said I had to heal, but I’m fine! I’m fine! I'm fine! I am!!” He waved his hands in front of him. “I have-” Tears started to fall again, and it looked like he wanted to get up and go, but was frozen solid. “I have to-”

“Ven,” Lea put a hand on his shoulder. “You’re not fine. Look at how much of a mess you are. You’re in pieces, kiddo. We haven’t heard from you in eight days, I had no idea that this kind of…” He paused. “Let’s calm you down before you head out again, okay? Come on, Isa’s apartment isn’t far.”

A moment's hesitation was pushed aside in the need for Lea to do something now. He picked up Ven, cradling him in his arms and supporting him as if he were a small child. He glanced at Isa, who nodded and took Kairi’s hand, leading the quartet towards his apartment. 

Kairi hadn’t seen Isa nor Lea look so desperately serious in many, many months, since the Graveyard, at least. They crossed through back alleys and side paths, making sure to avoid other people altogether. Isa was quick to unlock the door, and even quicker to move out of Lea’s way. Once inside, Lea set Ven down on the couch and with a grunt of effort, picked up a heavy looking blanket and draped it over Ven. Immediately, the effects hit Ven; once he came back to reality, he visibly sank into the couch as his eyes fluttered to stay open.

Lea excused himself and Isa to another room, telling Kairi to watch over Ven as ‘they took care of some things’. Kairi hated how he said that, it was too open-ended and could’ve met anything, even if she knew he only had the best intentions for Ven. As he took a step, so did she, and she reached out and grabbed a fistful of Lea’s hoodie, stopping him dead in his tracks. 

He glanced down at her, smiled, and took her hand in his own.

“We aren’t calling Aqua and Terra, Kai.” He whispered, as if he sensed her fear. “They must’ve had some kind of fight, and if those two come here, they’ll just stress out Ven more. They need a bit of time apart, don’t you agree?”

Kairi knew that, even with his silly behavior and mannerisms, Lea was steadfast in his care for the teens he had taken under his wings. She saw it with every kid he interacted with, and while it surprised her for some reason she couldn’t explain, it seemed that Ventus was no different. She trusted Lea with her entire heart, and there was no room for fear or doubt. 

Kairi nodded, satisfied with Lea’s words. She turned to walk back around the couch, and as she heard a door in the hall behind them close shut, she placed herself next to Ven. All was quiet, and she began to ruminate. 

Even as it had vanished, as the intensity of it started to fade from her heart, the pull she had felt… Not once had it been as strong as it had with Ven. Why had She chosen him, what was the point? She begged for answers, but She was silent, as if She wanted her to figure it out for herself. 

Kairi glanced towards him- Ven looked so content now, so much more at peace than he had just five minutes ago. He had felt it, too; that much was as clear as the waters on the Islands. What had he felt then? Was he worried about it? And, the question she feared most of all: did he know what such a pull meant for him, for the ones he cared about? She dreaded the answer. 

He shivered a little, then looked to Kairi.

“U-um…” His voice was so small. He had never sounded so small before. “Would you, um… I’m sorry, would you sit with me under the blanket? I’m cold.” He flushed a little. “If y-you don’t want to, it’s fine, I know it’s weird to sit like that with somebody you don’t know that well--”

“Nonsense.” Kairi lifted up the blanket and cuddled next to Ven, ignoring the shock to her heart when their sides touched. Consoling a friend in pain was more important than destiny, it always was. “We’re friends, Ven. Maybe not close ones, but friends nonetheless. I can sit with you under this blanket; it’s the least I can do, actually.”

She felt so terrible for being unable to help more, but she reminded herself that she didn’t know what was happening. She was at a total loss; she really  _ wasn’t _ close with Ven. She was friendly with Aqua, was aware of Terra, but she didn’t  _ know _ them. Sora knew them more than she did, and would probably know what to do in this situation, but he was with Riku right now. 

He wasn’t available. And  _ she _ wasn’t Sora.

“Thank you, Kairi.” Ven smiled softly at her. “I appreciate it.”

She found herself smiling back.

\---

“Where will you start?” Isa asked, when they had come back out.

Ven was still rubbing the sleepy from his eyes. “Whatever feels right,” he explained, “and then I’ll work my way around.”

“All by yourself?” Lea tilted his head in confusion. “Ven, there’s so many Worlds, each expansive in it’s own way. Are you sure?”

Nervous, he looked to the blanket, focusing on a very small thread that had become loose after the many months of loving use. He avoided looking at Kairi.

“I can’t know for sure what others will do, y’know? Or what  _ he’ll _ do when he sees others, but… he’s my brother. He’s my responsibility. I’ll look for him myself.”

Something flashed in Lea's eyes- a memory of sorts, a 'not-that-big-of-a-deal' fear. He sighed, almost defeated, and rubbed the back of his head. “We just don’t want another…”

He trailed off. Everyone went quiet. 

Kairi took a deep breath in, then let it out. Ven could practically feel her pull herself back, hold herself in place as she played the impartial, calm Princess.

“We don’t want another Sora.”

He let out a light laugh.

“Good thing I’m not Sora, then!”

Ven slid a bit farther into the couch and rested his head against Kairi's shoulder, gazing up at her and smiling. Once she smiled back, the tension in the air seemed to lift, if only a little. “I understand your hesitance, Kairi. I really do get it, but it’s not the same! Don’t worry, I’ll be able to rely on you all for help. It’s not like I’m disappearing to another dimension, and even then, we got him back in the end!” 

He noticed a very subtle shift in her expression. She looked so exhausted, so thoroughly drained from the last few years. Time and time again she had been unrightfully given new trials to face, never getting an answer on why she had to face them in the first place. 

Kairi and Riku had done it, though. They had done the impossible; they had found Sora just like they knew they would. A newfound courage coursed through him.

“Whatever happens, I’ll be okay in the end,” he made sure Kairi was looking right at him.

“I promise.”

“If you’re so sure…” Isa considered his friend’s words, nodded. 

“We’ll be here to support you where we can, then.”

Ven looked to Isa and smiled softly. “Thank you.” He returned the nod.

\---

He had to go back sometime. As soon as he was conscious, he thought of the Land. Of home. He wanted to go back, but he couldn’t yet. Not until he was ready. He wished he was.

He missed them so badly.

Kairi had been warm and soft and the blanket had been heavy, and he felt so safe and so tired, post-breakdown as he was, that he managed to convince himself to spend the night. It was the closest thing to peace he reasoned he could achieve, given the circumstances. When he woke up to the sun shining in his eye, he was surprised to see that Kairi had stayed with him the entire night. Something about that made his heart race, but he ignored it. He had to focus on getting Vanitas back.

In the spirit of being polite, he stayed until everyone had woken up, and once they had, he walked towards the door with quick goodbyes. They had managed to wrestle him into staying for breakfast, quite literally, as Lea had jumped into him and barreled him into the ground, telling him to eat pancakes or else. With such wondrous hospitality, how could he refuse?

After a now very lengthy and heartfelt goodbye, he continued wandering around Radiant Garden. An hour of nothing came and went, and he knew he had to move on; Lea was right, and with how little he knew of which Worlds Vanitas knew, he was at a loss. It was so open, and there were so many Worlds… But even so, the Worlds were not endless. Ven hadn’t been to many, but he knew who did, and if he couldn’t wring it out of Mickey, he knew ways to make Sora and Riku talk.

A call to Sora, and he was, very enthusiastically, told exactly where they were. Twilight Town, eating ice cream at the Bistro with Roxas, as if there was any doubt. 

He should have figured. Roxas took any excuse he could to eat ice cream. In fact, the only food items that Ven saw Roxas eat were ice cream. Maybe replica bodies could handle eating  _ only _ ice cream and nothing else, but he… Roxas had to eat something else, right? That sounded really bad for him, for multiple, and what Ven thought were very valid, reasons.

On the way to Twilight Town, he mulled over ideas for a plan. While he knew and believed with his entire heart that Vanitas wouldn’t attack him, it would be best to plan for the worst case scenario. Vanitas could be mad at him for a reason he didn’t realize, and he might… Ugh, Aqua really was getting to him! He missed her so much.

_ If _ Vanitas attacked him again, he'd be ready. He'd do anything at all if it meant that his brother could come back home. He wasn’t taking no for an answer, and he knew how stubborn Vanitas was, knew how likely it’d be that he’d say no and keep his distance. He didn’t want there to be any distance between them anymore.

Without warning, the thought of Vanitas, badly wounded and crying alone, entered his mind. The knowledge that he had done that to Vanitas encased the thought; connected it to him like glowing, burning shackles, reminding him of how  _ he _ had hurt Vanitas, how  _ he _ had done such an evil thing to him. How much of an unforgivable act it had been.

He went rigid with fear.

He squeezed his eyes shut to push the thought away.

He pushed his glider faster.

\--

Sora and Roxas attacked him with violent, loving hugs as soon as he had called their names, pushing past complete strangers with absolutely no regard. His heart swelled, and he spun both of them around with a little help from his shoes. Their laughs, along with Riku’s gentle smile, made all of the weird looks they got completely worth it.

When Ven explained that Vanitas had disappeared, their joy died in front of him. It was beyond words, seeing his friends and family feel such grief and sorrow. The trio looked heartbroken, with such a vulnerability and pain that was hard to look at and accept face on, but he did it. He would do it for them, no matter how unpleasant it felt. 

He could practically see their memories reflected on their eyes: the hurt of Sora’s disappearance fresh on their hearts, even though it had been several months. He didn’t blame them, it still hurt  _ him, _ too. The despair he had felt when Sora was gone all those six months, the guilt that he hadn’t asked to go with him… it had been abysmal. But now? Now, he took that pain and kept it with him as a reminder to not be foolish with his own life. He knew he mattered, and if he went missing, who would look for Vanitas? Who would bring him home?

The hardest part of sitting there, trying to listen to Riku and Roxas list off all the Worlds they had been to, was seeing the guilt on Sora’s face, watching it intensify as Sora’s worries churned longer and longer in his head. It made paying complete attention to Roxas and Riku impossible; he could tell that Sora wanted to volunteer his help for Ven, and in other circumstances, Ven would agree to it. But even without words, they both knew it would never happen. It wasn’t something they paraded, but Sora wasn’t allowed to do things like that anymore, and Kairi and Riku didn’t let him go  _ anywhere _ without either of them.

His mind wandered.

Ven had never said it aloud to anyone, but he hated the chains they had on Sora. It wasn’t healthy for him, and it wasn’t healthy for the two of them, either. Sora couldn’t learn if they never let him spread his wings and fly, and as much as you needed to spend time with your friends, you needed time away from them, too, even if you missed them. Too much time together could make you feel crazy, and if someone is there constantly, what happens to you when they’re no longer there? Those dependency issues would only give way to worse issues, at least… In his experience. You had to keep things healthy, right?

He had always wondered why Riku and Kairi hadn’t trusted him, Xion, or Roxas with what Roxas had dubbed ‘Sora Duty’, and also why they apparently trusted Mickey, Donald, and Goofy over the three of them, but he guessed it made sense.  _ They _ would let Sora go wherever he wanted, without any hesitance.  _ They _ knew Sora would be careful. Goofy and Donald were more responsible, sure, but Mickey was too wrapped up in the guilt of what happened with all the children he had met who had been hurt by his well-intended actions, and Riku and Kairi were too traumatized and scared from losing their best friend again and again to chance it. He couldn’t blame them for that.

It didn’t mean he was happy with it, though.

As soon as Sora had come back, at his personal request, he had gone into twice-weekly therapy. Ven didn’t know the full details, but he  _ had _ been told that sometimes, Kairi and Riku went. He had seen a shift in the way Sora carried himself and the way he interacted with everyone, but there was so much he still had to work on. Sora had said that to Ven directly, and Ven believed him. He admired how much Sora wanted to feel better, and sometimes, he wondered if  _ he _ should try therapy, too. He wasn’t too bad, though. At least, he didn’t think he was. Aqua and Terra probably needed therapy, though. Vanitas, too.

Riku had told him once that Sora was the most selfless person he’d ever met. Kairi had added that he’d been that way since they were little, that when her heart had hidden itself in Sora’s, he had stabbed himself with a key to release her heart, along with the other Princesses’ hearts that were held inside the key. The way she spoke of it made Ven wonder if Kairi had lingering feelings about it, and the pain on her face, too great to fully conceal, confirmed it for him. He couldn’t completely grasp it, as it was such a uniquely difficult experience that only she knew, but he still sympathized, still wanted to support her through it. It was really the least he could do.

“Think you got that, Ven?”

Roxas poked him with his elbow, and Ven nodded on instinct. 

“Sure! I guess I better start, since there’s so many, and all.”

“Aw…” Sora sighed, putting his cheeks on his hands and resting his elbows on his knees. “I was hoping you could stay longer. It feels like we haven’t hung out in weeks.”

He ruffled Sora’s hair affectionately. “It’s okay, little buddy! We’ll hang out soon.”

“I’ll call Naminé and tell her you’re coming over today, and that you’ll meet her and Xion at the Islands.” Riku began, all business as usual when it came to more serious things. “After that, I’ll call Mickey and tell him you’re heading to Disney Castle tomorrow, alright?”

He gave Riku a thumbs up. “I appreciate it a lot, Riku! Thank you.”

“Come on, Ven.” Roxas shoved his hands into his pockets and tilted his head towards their right. “I’ll walk you out. Riku…”

He glared down at Riku, and Riku met his gaze with the same ferocity. The air between them became like frost. Ven felt like there was something he was missing, and he sure hoped it wasn’t important.

“I dunno, do what you usually do, I guess.” He waved his hand and turned, closing his eyes as he began to walk away and slipping his hand back into his pocket. The energy from their staredown dissipated instantly.

Riku rolled his eyes with a smirk. “Like I need your permission…”

He glanced up as Ven stood up, and smiled softly at him. “See you later, Ventus. Be safe out there, okay?”

Ven grinned. “Sure! Thanks!”

He caught up to Roxas quickly, entwining their arms together. “Sooo,” he whispered, “is there something going  _ on _ with you and Riku, or--”

“ **WHAAAAAT?!** ” Roxas wailed, jumping away from Ven. “ **Him?!** I feel insulted. Sickened. **Perturbed.** Repulsed. **Disgusted.** Aggriv--”

“I get it, Rox. I didn't even  _ mean _ \--” He sighed. “What  _ was _ all that, then? You guys seemed so hostile towards each other, are you fighting right now? That’s what I meant.”

“We would  **never** \--” Roxas flushed, scoffed, and frowned as he looked away. “I  **dunno, okay** ? He’s nice to me and whatever, despite the shit that happened before. He likes hanging out with me and he’s weird about it and sometimes he buys me food. It’s annoying...I like it. Does that satiate the beast inside of you that needs to know how I view Riku?”

Ven giggled, and Roxas grabbed his arm and jiggled him around. 

“No, Roxas, that’s so cute! You’re friends with him and you  _ like _ him and you’re  _ embarrassed, _ it’s  **_sooo_ ** cute!!” The harder Roxas shook him and the deeper red his cheeks got, the harder Ven laughed.

“Shut up! Oh my Goddddd, he’ll hear you making  **fun** of me!” Roxas pleaded, resting his forehead on Ven’s shoulder. “I don’t know how to ask if we’re even  friends , Ven. I’ve never done this kind of thing before, like, I’ve made friends, obviously, but we have such a weird history…”

“Rox…” He rubbed his back, but stayed quiet. How many times had all of his friends tried to kill each other? Wasn’t that just a normal friend thing? He had to talk about this with Xion later. He was certain that she knew about this, and probably knew way more than Roxas had shared with him, too. It’s not like Roxas held anything from her, or was even capable of doing so. And, if he was being honest, this was  _ very _ teasable. Ven would never keep such a golden opportunity like this away from her, especially now that he could be her backup.

“Anyways, go on.” Roxas gave Ven a hug, squeezing him tightly around the shoulders before pulling back, keeping Ven in a hold at arm’s length. “Be careful, okay? I can’t be there to protect you, and I…” He frowned, and a far-off look crossed his gaze. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”

Protect him? He wondered if this was what he had been holding back from earlier, why he’d been able to talk with Riku while Sora hadn’t. He didn’t even need to be protected.

Ven put a hand on Roxas’ cheek. “Oh, Rox… You’ll never lose me, okay?”

“You promise?!” He put his hand over Ven’s, tears welling up in his eyes. 

“You promise I won’t?” 

Roxas looked so devastated and lost, and in a weird way, it all felt so familiar. Like a watercolor memory, faded and muddled with both time and the rain that had seeped in. 

He couldn’t control destiny, as much as he wanted to sometimes. Some things you couldn’t plan for, or stop, but... he was  _ not _ letting this become one of those things.

“I promise. With all of my heart, Rox. You will  _ not _ lose me.”

After a hard stare, Roxas let out a large, overdramatic-if-it-was-anyone-else sigh, relief flashing over his face as his shoulders relaxed. “I believe you. Thank you, Ven.”

His small, usual smile planted itself on his face once again. “I know I already said it, but. Be careful. And, uh... say hi to Xi and Nams for me, yeah?”

Ven grinned, raised an eyebrow. “Like you haven’t  _ already _ said hi to them?”

Roxas scoffed. “Oh, **please** . You make it sound like there’s a limit per day to how many times I can greet my  **very** best friends.” He hummed, rocking forwards and backwards on his feet, his skirt following the motion in a slightly mesmerizing way. “Y’know… I don’t really know how trustworthy with this you’ll be, and... Maybe I should go with you, just in case.”

“No way, Rox.” Ven giggled. “Come on, you can’t leave Sora and Riku alone at Remy’s. What if Sora starts, um…” He racked his brain for an excuse. “uh... _ realizing _ things?”

Roxas gasped, covered his mouth in shock.

“At  **REMY’S!?** ”

Ven nodded. “At Remy’s.”

“Oh my God, I  cannot let that happen. Not while they’re alone, at least. Who will tell the rest of you what happened so we can gossip, if not I?”

“Kairi wouldn’t let you live it down if you missed out on who won.” He offered. 

“One of you has to be right.”

“Yeah,” Roxas adjusted his jacket proudly, “and it’s gonna be  me . I get that she’s his best friend and whatever, but think of what Sora and I have been through, just him and me. I’ve been in his heart such a stupid-long time,” He smiled fondly at the thought. “and I know him the best.” 

Roxas was so unbelievably cocky about the whole thing, it was hilarious. It’s like he had forgotten that, if they were going by the length of time spent in Sora’s heart, Ven should be the one to know Sora’s feelings on the matter. He had been in his heart for over a decade, so it only made sense.

The thing was, though… he didn’t care in the slightest. He was in their ‘Sora and Riku Gossip’ group chat, sure, but mostly because Roxas and Xion wanted all of the people who had been in or from Sora’s heart to be there. Naminé and Kairi had been included, too, and he heard that Roxas relayed the information to another group that he and Sora both knew, but he couldn’t recall their names. Either way, he had the group muted. 

Man, Roxas was way into this, wasn’t he?

He was probably going to lose to Kairi.

“Riku would never confess first, are you kidding?” Roxas continued his gloating, “He’s got  **anxiety** . ‘Course, Sora has to realize shit before anything happens, and only Kingdom Hearts knows when  **that’s** gonna happen, but when it does, he’ll just spit it out, and then she’ll owe me big time. Sora might need a little incentive, honestly. Like, we don’t have eons.”

“I don’t think we should rush it.” He glanced behind Roxas to see Sora gaze at Riku, galaxies in his eyes as he rested his head on his arms, watching as Riku talked to Remy at length about… something. Did he even understand Remy? Did the exposure to Mickey give him that ability? If he hung around Mickey as much as Riku did, would he be able to talk to Remy, too?

“Earth to Ven!” Roxas waved a hand in front of him, and Ven jumped.

“Y-yeah!”

“Oh my God, spacing out again?” He smirked. “Come on, you better head out.” He let out a breath, playing with the ‘X’ necklace that rested on his collarbone.

“Too much Twilight can affect you, y’know. Especially if you’re not used to it.” A haughty laugh, and Roxas put his hands on his hips, grinning at Ven expectantly.

Oh! Right.

“I’m not going to compliment you for being here all the time, Roxas.”

“ Whaaaat ? Why not?” He whined. “Come on, not even a  **little** bit?”

He snorted. “Roxas, if you want attention, go ask for it from Sora or Riku. Besides, I don’t have time to give you the attention you deserve.”

Roxas’ eyes got a little watery. “Oh, wow, Ven… That…” He placed a hand over his heart, “That’s so sweet of you, I…”

Ven pulled out Wayward Wind in a flash of light. “I’m leaving, Rox.”

“Goodbyeeee, sweet Venny!” Roxas wrapped his arms around Ven’s shoulder, giving him a nuzzle before releasing him in a twirl and running off with a wave. “Keep in touch!”

Waving back, he grinned. Destiny Islands it was, then.

\--

Xion had been hanging upside down on a playground pull-up bar by her knees when he had found her and who he assumed was Naminé. He wasn’t too sure, they had exchanged a few words over text, but nothing more than polite hellos and vague introductions. She was still very mysterious, and that just made him more interested in her.

Xion had her eyes closed and her arms crossed, as if she was thinking. Naminé, in suit, had her hands folded together, resting delicately on her pelvis as she watched, expression calm but bursting with love. He wasn’t sure if he should alert them to his presence, but then Xion’s eyes flashed open, and she looked right at him, like he was an animal and she, the hunter, was about to get her biggest catch of the season.

“Ven!” He was pretty sure she grinned at him. “So good to see you! Hold on.”

She curled up and grabbed the bar, slipping her legs back down before letting go and dropping gracefully to the ground with a  _ thud _ .

“Good to see you, too, Xion!” He smiled back. “It’s been a bit.”

“Sure has! You haven’t answered my texts for a week, either, and I’ll get you for that!” She ran over and wrapped her arms around his neck, nuzzling him just the same way Roxas had. “Aren’t the Islands beautiful?” She whispered, before pulling away. Then, in her normal volume she asked, “Have you been before?”

“Here?” Ven hummed. “Perhaps… once?” He winced. “I don’t remember too well, I’m sorry. It definitely wasn’t this island, though. The one I remember…”

He leant against a pole of the nearby swing set. “It was small. There was a dock, but it didn’t have any boats. There was a very small island connected by a big bridge, and there was this tree with these star fruits on it.” He remembered Vanitas being there, too, and his heart ached. What had they talked about? He couldn’t remember.

“Their island!” Naminé finally spoke, voice gentle. “It makes sense that you’d have gone to their island.”

“...Their?” He cocked his head.

“A-ah! Right!” Her cheeks dusted pink. “I mean, Sora, Kairi, and Riku’s island. They went there a lot as children, and therefore claimed it as their own; a home base of sorts. Sorry, I figured you knew, since you were in Sora’s heart for so long...?”

Ven rubbed the back of his neck on impulse. “Aw, I don’t remember too much, honestly.” He winked in embarrassment. “Sorry about that.”

Xion shook her head, hands on her hips. “You don’t have to apologize, Ven! You’ve done it twice already, y’know.” She wrapped an arm around his, then motioned to the swings. “C’mon, let’s sit and talk. Riku said you had something important to ask?”

Right. He’d been dreading this.

\--

Xion reacted the same way Roxas had; sad and mournful, held together in a way where he knew she put it on the back burner. It made him worry for her, and an almost overwhelming urge to comfort her took hold of his heart, but he held it down. Naminé, on the other hand, looked so personally distraught that as Ven pushed down the urge to comfort her as well, he had to wonder if she knew Vanitas. He would’ve mentioned if he made a friend, wouldn’t he? Maybe not… It’s not like Ven knew all of his brother’s secrets, and probably wanted something to himself, especially if that something was a friend. Then again, wouldn’t Naminé mention it if she knew Vanitas? He hoped she would.

“Riku and Rox gave me a rundown of the Worlds they’d been to, but… y’know.” He looked at his shoes, tapping the metal plates together. “I just wanted to know if you’ve seen or heard from him. I haven’t been looking for too long, but he’s been on my thoughts pretty often.”

Xion’s arms wrapped around his shoulders as she buried her face in the space her left arm made. “I’m so sorry.” She apologized, “This is a journey you’ll have to face on your own. We will support where we can, but we can’t go with you. We can’t keep you safe. And I’m so, so sorry.”

Were Xion and Roxas just as distraught that they hadn’t gone with Sora, just like him? Ven took a shaky breath in, more affected by her words than he would have thought.

“I know, Xi. And it’s okay!” He put a hand on the side of her head. “If Sora got wind of someone coming with me, he…”

“The effects could be disastrous. Ven, I’m  **sorry** \--”

“Now look who's apologizing.” He joked, lightly. “It’s really okay, Xi.”

He clung to her arms and gently pushed himself up in the air, making sure to support her despite her heavy sorrow. Once he was high enough, he floated back and set her down on the swing, delicate as could be. He slid around to the space in front of her and squatted down so he could look up into her eyes. 

“He’s my brother, Xi. It’s my responsibility to find him.”

“But he’s-!” She intertwined her fingers, palms facing up to the sky. “We were all…”

He put his hands over hers. “I know.” He breathed. “I know we were. I’m bringing him back, Xion, so we don’t have to be apart anymore, okay? I won’t leave any of us behind.”

“We were barely friends, if you could even call it that,” Xion whispered, “but he’s a part of my heart. He always will be. If we can have a second chance, he deserves one, too.”

He nodded. It was so nice and strange to get that confirmation that somebody else, too, thought that Vanitas mattered. He knew Rox, Sora, and Xion all knew it as indisputable fact, but hearing the words out loud was so wonderful and different. 

Standing up, he looked to Naminé. She had her hands folded in her lap, pushing herself gently back and forth in the swing as she watched them. He could almost describe it as respectful. He smiled at her, and she smiled back.

“It’s wonderful to formally meet you, Ventus.”

“Please,” He extended a hand. “call me Ven!”

She took his hand and Ven was surprised to find that she was almost the same height as him. “Ven it is, then. I’m sorry if this is too forward, but your heart is fascinating to me. Would you mind if I looked at it sometime?”

His heart? He pointed to his chest, confused. “My heart?”

Naminé giggled. “Of course, Ven. Terra told me that your heart is pure light, and I’d like to see for myself, if you don’t mind it.”

Oh, right! Terra and Naminé were friends. He went to Radiant Garden pretty often to see her, though Ven hadn’t thought to ask what they did.

“Sure! You have my number, just text me whenever you have time and I can swing by.”

“Of course.” Naminé’s smile held strong. “It’s going to be a pleasure working with you. I can tell.”

A chuckle, and Ven put his arms behind his head, leaning a bit to the side. “Thanks! I’m pretty excited about it, now!”

Xion finally stood up, and Naminé practically floated over and took her hand. It was so sweet, Ven felt his heart melt a little bit.

“Ven, I’m sure you’ll be safe, so I’m not worried about you heading out. You’re plenty capable, right?” She smiled, soft. “I’ll be honest, I’m a little worried… Are you going back to the Land soon?”

He grimaced.

She smiled apologetically. “I’ll take that as a no, then.”

“It’s… complicated?” Ven offered. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to face Terra and Aqua. I was so mean to them, some of the things I said felt unnecessarily cruel, but-but some of the things  _ they _ said felt unnecessarily cruel, too! I’ll probably just camp out in one of the worlds I go to, if I’m being honest. I want to go back but I don’t think I’m ready… I’m not sure if they are, either.”

“What kind of understanding do you want to come to?” Naminé asked.

What a question, but not one that he didn’t have an answer to. It was just… hard to say. When were these kinds of things ever easy to confess, though?

“I want them to  _ not _ treat me like a child who can't handle any danger. I can handle myself just fine, and I've seen my fair share of danger, obviously. I know they’re both Masters now, but they take on too much responsibility! I want us to be as equal as we can be. They already take care of themselves, they don't need a whole 'nother person added on! I know they feel bad about the past, but things are different now, and I’m stronger than I was before.”

He huffed. “Friends take care of each other, and sometimes you have to lean on your friends more than you used to, sometimes for a long time. But I don't need that right now! I need a bit of space, like, not too much, but enough to show that I'm capable of braving through whatever can be thrown at me! I thought I already proved that, but... I guess not."

Ven paused. He took a deep breath, clenched his fists, and looked to Xion. "I would appreciate it if they gave Vanitas another chance, too: no conditions and endless understanding. An open heart, so to speak. You were correct; he deserves as much of a second chance as anyone. I want to give that to him, more than anything."

"Your determination could more or less manifest itself physically, it's so potent." Xion smiled. "I know you can do it, Ven. You better head out, though." She glanced at her phone, then back at him. "It’s almost noon, and the more you're able to look, the better.”

“Right, and thank you for letting me vent, I--” He stopped. “Oh! Wait, I have to ask you.”

Xion tilted her head.

“What’s up with Roxas and Riku?" He asked. She put a hand over her mouth to stop her laughter, her eyes squinting in amusement. 

"I haven’t been around them, you know how it is, so I didn’t see whatever… happened… but there seems to be something weird with them, and Roxas mentioned that he’s not sure where they stand? I think.”

Xion waited until she was sure he was done, then giggled. "He's just having trouble believing that Riku wants to be his friend. He’s forgiven Riku; truthfully, I don’t think he had a real grudge against him to begin with. Their shared past is…” She grimaced, old memories resurfacing, “a particularly nasty one. Rox is trying to make sense of how much he cares for Riku, despite it. It’s taking him a pretty long while, but I’m sure he’ll get it eventually.”

“Didn’t they try to attack each other?” Ven asked. “I don’t know why Roxas is so weird about it. I feel like it’s pretty normal to try and knock the hearts out of your friends at least once.”

“THAT’S WHAT I SAID!” Xion wailed, putting her hands on her forehead and leaning back. “He said I was nuts for saying it, but listen to me! When we fought, _I_ requested it of him, and then Roxas kicked my ass so hard I died, and look at how close we are! It’s totally fine and normal for friends to go through that together.”

His stomach tightened with a vague feeling of pain.

Naminé frowned. 

“You know how he feels about that, Xi.” Her tone was a gentle warning.

“Roxas doesn’t want to hurt you any more. He feels he’s hurt you too much.”

Xion sighed. Slowly, she folded both of her hands, one after the other, over her heart.

“I know... I understand, and I’m sorry; I got a little ahead of myself. All it brings him is unnecessary suffering. It makes me sad, too, you know?”

She looked right at Ven, then.

“But it  _ had  _ to happen. And even though it happened, I’m here now, aren’t I? I’m alive, I’m living, and it’s so joyous and incredible.” Even with her words, her shoulders sagged with such sad memories, memories he didn’t know, but he knew they were heavy-- He could see it.

“I  **_know_ ** Rox’s power, I  **_know_ ** how strong he is. He’s my best friend, I  **_know him_ ** . He doesn’t want to hurt me, but I think he forgets how strong  _ I _ am, too. It’s the most important thing to me, to keep him happy and safe; and I know the same can be said of him towards me. I can take what he gives, and I can give it back twice as strong!” She paused. “He’s too soft on me.”

“What about sparring with somebody else?” Ven suggested.

She folded her arms and huffed. “Well, that’s different. Everybody else is strong enough, but Roxas is  _ crazy _ strong. He's ruthless and he decimates, and with two Keys, it’s so fun! When he spars with others, he goes all out, attacking without mercy as he should! But with me- ugh, if I’m able to  _ convince _ him- he holds back, and sometimes he misses on purpose! It’s almost insulting. We’ve been equals for so long, and I know he doesn’t think I’m weak, and maybe I’m being too sensitive, but… It  _ hurts. _ I feel like he’s pushing me to leave him behind. Like he wants me to be in first, and he’ll gladly take second place. I want us both to be in first, though.”

Ven opened his mouth to speak, but Xion’s sad smile made him stay quiet.

“We’ve talked about it a few times, don’t worry. He wants to spar me, too, but he’s just scared. Roxas is so  _ terrified _ of losing me again, and he doesn’t think he can take any chances. I’m not weak, though; my strength is not up to chance. God, if Riku can take his hits, then obviously I can.”

She scoffed. “He’ll spar  _ Lea _ at full force.”

He inhaled through his teeth. “Oh, it’s like _ that _ . Well, I can try and talk with him?”

Xion scratched her cheek, embarrassment starting to squeeze her heart. “I mean, if you wanna try, I won’t stop you? I have a weird feeling that he’d listen to you... Just make sure you emphasize how insanely overpowered I am, okay?”

“Wouldn’t dream of doing anything less!” Ven assured, putting a hand over his heart. “I can’t disrespect you, Xion. It’s against who I am as a person.”

A nod. “Good! It better fucking be!”

Xion pursed her lips, and after glancing at the sea, she looked back to him.

“Rox isn’t stupid, but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, either. Sometimes you have to spell things out for him, but when I can, I let him take things at his own pace. Just… go easy on him, okay? He’s sensitive, at least when it comes to me. Feel free to tease him about Riku, though.”

“It’s really fun to tease him about Riku.” Naminé added.

Xion glanced at Naminé, grinned. “Y’know, he really does get so cute and funny when it comes to Riku. It’s so specific to him, I’ve never seen Rox act like that otherwise.”

“Yeah, it was weird seeing him like that.” Ven put a hand on his hip. “He like, wailed? Very loudly. In the middle of Twilight Town!”

“No shit?” Xion cackled. “That’s PERFECT! Nami,” She turned and faced Naminé fully. “Do we have anything left to do here? I wanna go hang out in Twilight Town.”

“Um…” Naminé smoothed the side of her hair that was flipped over her shoulder. “I think we’re free to leave whenever, and I wouldn’t mind seeing Sora, either. It’s been a bit.”

“Me too! Ven,” She tilted her head towards him. “You heading out as well?”

"Um, well, I do have one more question." A weird feeling crawled his way up his throat, and he folded his arms across his chest to try and push it down. "Does, um… Does Riku know?"

"Oh," Xion let out a  _ pshh _ , "he noticed it just after I did. He asked me if Rox was having a bad day, and I explained that he's going through that special time in a young person's life where they realize they want to be friends with someone who tried to beat them to death with a big key to protect his basically-boyfriend, who they won against but then lost to once he had given into the darkness or whatever, who they're just now realizing does not, in fact, hate them."

"When you say it out loud like that," Naminé mused, "it's almost hard to believe that it really happened."

"But we saw it." Xion shrugged.

"But we saw it." Naminé repeated, eyebrows going up as her mouth drew into a thin line. "We certainly watched that happen."

Ven waved to them to get their attention. "Thank you both." He started to turn, but paused, before running over and jumping into Xion with a big hug.

"I'll be safe, so you take care, too, alright?” Ven said, cradling her head. 

“I'll miss you, Xi. I’ll miss you a lot."

  
Xion hugged him back ferociously. The way she held him, he knew she didn't want him to go, despite her words on the contrary. He matched her energy, and held onto her longer because of it. He wasn’t going to let them go.  _ Any _ of them.


	3. I Bet My Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ven's search truly begins, and on the way, he meets a few old friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw paranoia/panic attack, depression, dissociation, memory loss, mentions of intrusive thoughts, some self-destructive tendencies
> 
> man i'm trying so hard 2 keep an every-other-week schedule, aiming for Sometime during the weekend. i'm a few days later than i wanted, though, so this chapter is a little longer than i'd usually make it, as an apology. figured more content was the best i could offer :]!!!! tho i know the 15k or less tends 2 be preferable for most people, so i'll do my best 2 keep it under in the future o7!!! i hope u like this one a lot, and i'm excited for u all 2 read it!!!!
> 
> \-- I know I took the path  
> That you would never want for me  
> I know I let you down, didn't I?  
> //  
> So many sleepless nights  
> Where you were waiting up on me  
> Well, I'm just a slave unto the night --

If the Unversed had been in the Dwarf Woodlands, then Vanitas would know about this World, at least, he hoped he did. It was probably a bad world to start off with, he couldn’t remember seeing Vanitas here. Then again, his memory wasn’t exactly reliable. Well, he was already here, wasn’t he? It would be a bit of a waste to leave before checking, and if Vanitas was here and he had missed him, then he’d never forgive himself. Either way, there was no harm in looking a little, right?

As he trudged along the beaten path, familiar sights and smells began to set around him. It was similar to what he remembered, other than the wildly overgrown forests that now populated the World. That was to be expected- it had been a while, and the royalty here were probably busy with different affairs, ones that required their undivided attention, more important than the silly trees. Regardless, it wasn’t too much of an obstacle, just some bushes and low-hanging branches. He had fared worse many times over, so this was no sweat.

The sun had begun to start it’s descent as it peeked through the fluffy grey clouds, but he could feel it: time flew differently here than it did on the Destiny Islands and Twilight Town; it was probably already nightfall. He wondered how different it really was, weeks and months and all, and if Snow and the others... 

A strange ache filled his heart, and he found himself redirected from his train of thought. He missed them, all of them. He had hit it off so well with Snow, but would that have changed in ten years? A decade was a long, long time. 

Would it be like how it had been with Lea and Isa? Of course _he_ remembered them, but he had been sleeping the whole time. Such a long time… It was so wonderful that they remembered him, he was more than grateful, but if he said that he wasn’t surprised that they did… He would have been lying, wouldn’t he.

He was a little worried about the dwarves. It hadn’t gone very well the last time, had it? Sure, they had been at least neutral towards him, after Snow had talked to them, but Ven didn’t want to deal with the possibility of them thinking he was still a thief, or worse, that he had hurt Snow; he had felt such an immediate sense of friendship with her. He would never hurt her, never do such a horrendous thing, and the idea was enough to make his skin crawl with anxiety. 

He thought, then, of all the friends he had made on his first big adventure around the Worlds. He hadn't seen Flora, Fauna, or Merryweather, but he knew they were helping Master Yen Sid, so he could talk to them whenever. Aqua saw Cinderella pretty frequently, too, and he thought that was nice. He hoped he could visit some time soon. Tinker Bell, Pan, and those kids… How were they? Was Stitch okay, had he made more friends? 

And what of his friends at Radiant Garden? What about Aurora, Zack, Herc, and Phil?

As he thought of them, the knowledge of just how much time had truly passed worked his way through his mind, and he frowned. They very well could have forgotten him. He wouldn’t blame them, of course, he’d just be sad, that’s all. They were the first friends he made outside of the Land... The first that he could remember, anyways. They were special to him.

A sigh, and Ven took a seat on a nearby stump, putting a hand over his heart as it thumped in his chest. Why was he so nervous? Sure, the stress of losing Vanitas was a lot to deal with, and he had the stress with Aqua and Terra, too, but that would probably be fine, so he wasn’t really worried too much. 

He knew he had to be kinder to himself, but he wasn’t impressed with how he was handling the pressure. He felt like he should be reacting to it… Well, better wasn’t really the right word. More appropriately? God, maybe everything was starting to get to him more than he had thought it would. That was super annoying. He wished he had some company. He felt so-- 

He stopped the thought by standing up.

Under his breath, he muttered, “C’mon, Ven.” 

There was no time to mope around, and he had to concentrate, anyways. Dwelling on the past wouldn’t find Vanitas.

Focusing, he tried to put himself in Vanitas’ shoes. If he were a Vanitas, where would he hide? 

It dawned on him; for starters, why would he walk along the path that was laid out in front of him, where everyone else walked? If Vanitas was purposely trying to run away and cover himself, what’s to say he’d stay in plain sight? Considering how Vanitas was, it was pretty silly to try and find him by normal means. Vanitas probably didn’t want to be found right now, since there were no traces of him left. Also, it wasn’t very _cool_ to brood in the middle of a path, where everybody could see you. People would have to work for it if they wanted it, wouldn’t they? 

The idea pulled a grin out of him and calmed his heart.

But reality reminded him of where he was, and why he was here, and he brought his emotions in. He couldn’t let himself wander, he had to stay focused! He tried to come up with a new solution: maybe he should stop looking with his eyes, and start looking with...

Ven put a hand over his heart, closed his eyes, and quieted himself. A soft breath in, a slow breath out, and he listened, listened for anything. A call, a whisper, a cry, _something._ He needed _something._

He didn’t get anything at all. Briefly, he wondered why he thought he would.

Back to looking for Vanitas as he had been, then.

He glanced to the dense forest next to him, seizing it up. Aero spells would do damage to the environment, and especially with the ‘order’ and all, he couldn’t have big chunks of forest uprooted. A Key was the best choice, but Wayward Wind wouldn’t be able to cut through all that; it was more of a bludgeoning weapon, than anything. Slowly, he reached out his hand. A Key that was sharper? Did he have one of those? Most Keys tended to be rounded, or at the very least, dull, but he must have _something_.

An almost blinding flash of light made Ven cover his eyes with his free arm. A perfect weight in his grip, and the light dissipated. He lowered his arm and was surprised to see Lost Memory in his hand. He had almost forgotten it, and that irony was not lost on him. He never told anyone, but sometimes Wayward Wind felt a little heavy, a little wrong. Lost Memory felt more right, like he was going in the correct direction, but... 

It brought an overwhelming _ache_ to his heart. Something was still missing. Something integral. Chirithy existing here and now made it obvious, but even then, he couldn’t remember- he only knew that it was missing in the first place. He wished he could, everything he didn’t have made him feel so broken sometimes, so lost. Not that he would ever say that out loud. If he said it out loud, it would become real. At least, it felt like it would, and he was _terrified_ of that.

A drizzle, slow and quiet, started to fall. It brought him out of his thoughts, and he clenched his fists in front of him, trying to pump himself up. No time like the present to begin again, right? One foot in front of the other he went, slashing his way through bushes and plants, ducking under heavy branches that gravity had pulled down, away from the sunlight it tried to reach towards. He walked for a good fifteen minutes before a thinner, pointed branch caught some of the hair that fluffed out at the base of his neck, and kept him stuck to the tree.

Ven grimaced, gritting his teeth to stop himself from yelping in pain. Well this just wouldn’t do, now would it?

“You’re really going to do this to me in the first world I go to?” Ven questioned, to no one in particular. For some reason, the lack of response made him more disgruntled.

Fine, if that’s how it was going to be. On impulse, he collected the hair in his left hand. He positioned the sharpest edge of his Key at the very edge of his scalp, then swiped in a downwards arc. Bits of hair flew past him, more than he had meant, and with the release of pressure, the tree smacked him in the back of the head as a thank you.

“Ugh, you’re **_WELCOME_ ** !” Ven hollered, putting his hands on his hips and glaring at the tree with a heated ferocity. “I freed you, too, y’know! You don’t have to be so rude about it. It’s not my fault that _you_ latched onto _me_!”

Another lack of an answer, and he scoffed. What a rude tree.

He touched the base of his now-shaved hair, running his fingers along the slightly uneven prickles and brushing away some of the stray hair that still stuck to his neck. More of the back had been cut then he meant, but that was fine. Nothing he couldn’t fix later, and it wasn’t important now. Even so… it did feel nice to touch. He stood for a few moments longer, appreciative of the sensory experience.

A familiarly deep, echoed wibble sounded behind him. Heartless?

Alright, then. Took ‘em long enough.

He turned and got into a low fighting stance. Five Soldiers, two Large Bodies, three Novashadows, and three Earth Cores. Nothing he couldn’t handle, right? He hoped so.

The Soldiers ran towards him, and after a spin of the Key in his hand, he tightened his grip. He slipped behind them in a curve so fast that it brought up the leaves and grass in a flutter, and as they looked around in vain he pushed himself in the air and slammed Lost Memory onto them once, twice, thrice. With each powerful blow, one of the Soldiers disappeared. When he was finished with his attack, he rolled towards the left, missing swipes from one of the remaining two. 

The second charged him, clanking and clunking as it wobbled violently. Ven rolled again and pushed himself into the air, accidentally missing a diving Novashadow that he hadn’t been paying attention to. He didn’t give himself time to be relieved, instead reeling back, his Key glowing with light. He tossed it _hard_ , the arc spinning until slamming into the Soldier. As it poofed into nothing, six disks of light shot out in a small explosion and spun, hurling towards his other enemies. 

Immediately, two disks shot into the second Soldier, poofing him into oblivion. The next disk to hit was into the Novashadow, which damaged it enough to stun it for a moment. Two poofed into the same number of Earth Cores, stunning them as well, and one sliced a large sapling in half. The final disk got the attention of one of the Large Bodies as it erupted into light on its stomach. After a moment of processing, the Large Body became angry, hobbling towards him with it’s arms raised.

Ven focused, centered on the enemies remaining as Lost Memory glowed with a charge, wind beginning to circle him as he drew light from the surrounding area. He had to get rid of the Earth Cores before they transformed, and the Large Bodies before they started sliding around. There was such little space in this neck of the woods, and if they started wreaking havoc, he’d have to answer to Mickey, and he’d rather do ANYTHING else. Mickey's lectures were just as terrible to sit through as Aqua's were.

The enemies attempted to rush and overwhelm him, but their fate was sealed.

His Key jolted, and he released the energy he’d been building in bright shots of light. As he spun around in a motion that almost looked like a dance, the bolts flew to his adversaries like shooting stars, pushing them up into the air as they got assaulted with burst after burst. He pulled his Key back and raised into the air as a bubble of light expanded from his heart to guard him, the shot count doubling as it finished the remaining Heartless off.

He flipped, floated to the ground, and let out a sigh of relief as he tried to calm his pounding heart. He hadn’t fought actual Heartless in a while, and he had been a little worried that he had lost some of his ability to fight. He’d been a _lot_ worried, actually. Training was good and helped, but only real combat could prepare him for... Well, _real combat_.

Orange sunlight poked through the clouds and shone down on him, warming his skin despite the cold rain. He wondered if wherever Vanitas was, he could see the sun. He hoped he could. He closed his eyes, letting the rain pull his shoulders with it as it trickled down his arms. It helped him relax, if only a little.

“...Ven?”

He opened his eyes to the noise. A glance behind him and to the ground, and there Chirithy stood, taking shelter from the rain under a bush. A comforting presence, but then Ven remembered, and all at once, the worry he’d been able to release came back in a forceful burst and destroyed the dam he had been keeping his stress in. The last time he had seen Chirithy was at the Land; had he told Aqua and Terra where Ven was? They would stop him, they wouldn’t let him bring Vanitas back, and Vanitas...

The fear took hold, curled its icy fingers around his heart and sunk its nails in deep, deep into his center. He backed into the light of his disappearing Key, desperately looking around and listening for a hint of others in the area. There was no use to it, the only sounds in his ears being his rapid heartbeat and heavy breath.

They would just argue more, and they would waste time, and then Vanitas really would--

“No, Ven, it’s just me!!” Chirthy ran out into the rain, waving his paws in an attempt to distract Ven from his anxiety. “They aren’t here right now, I promise!”

“A-are you- Sure?” Ven barely registered that he backed into a tree, that he slid to the ground as he covered his ears with his hands. “Th-no! No? They won’t-- Let me look--”

“Ven, it’s okay.” The blurb of grey he assumed was Chirithy comforted, “It’s just me. You’re safe.” 

Chirithy set himself into Ven's lap, and without thought, he wrapped his arms around and clung to his Spirit like a lifeline, letting the panic work it’s way through his body. His lungs felt like they were going to collapse, and his body was too hot, too cold, all at once. He let Chirithy soak up his tears as he rubbed his face into his fur, trying to use the motion and texture to calm himself down.

Minutes passed away at an agonizing pace. His thoughts swirled too fast in his head to form a thought more than _please, stop--_ But before he realized it, his ragged breathing quieted, and the last of his tears had dried on his face. The wind pushed the soft ins-and-outs of his breathing further into the forest until the only sounds were the birds saying farewell to the day.

“Thank you,” Ven mumbled into Chirithy, giving a kiss to his head. “and I’m sorry. For freaking out on you, I mean. I don’t know what came over me, I…” He tried to find some reason he had to have become so on edge so fast, but he couldn’t find any that made logical sense.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Chirithy pet his cheek. “That isn't your fault, and you don’t have to apologize for it. You can’t control stuff like that, Ven. I’m just glad I was able to help you calm down, how are you feeling?”

“Um…” Ven let out a single, breathy laugh. “I think I’m okay?”

Chirithy nodded. Then, he hesitated, tapping his paws together shyly, holding himself back from something as he considered it in his mind. “You can say no if it will make you feel bad again, but can I, um, update you about Terra and Aqua? Would you be able to hear me talking about them? If you don’t think you can, it’s okay, I promise!” He was quick to clarify, “You were in so much pain, I-I don’t want to make you feel that awful again.”

Tears sprang to his eyes, but he rubbed them away. Sometimes he wondered what he had done to deserve someone as kind and loving as Chirithy. “Yeah, no, I--” He laughed. “Sorry, my head’s a little mixed up right now. I can hear it, I just… I think it was the idea of them being here, _physically_ , that made me…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “You… you know.”

“Okay. If I start scaring you, just stop me, alright?” The Dream Eater took a breath in. “Aqua and Terra have been looking for you, that much is true. _But!_ You should be good for a few days more, at least, because Lea and Isa have been working around the clock to keep them off your trail, and they have sworn that they can keep you safe for at least a full week. Your other friends are in on it, too. Lea told me--”

“Wait, you talked to Lea?” Ven asked, his mood lifting at the mention of his friend.

“Like, directly?”

“Oh! Yes! When you were at that apartment!” Chirithy booped his paws together. “I was worried about you, and wanted to make sure they were protecting you. He’s an oddball, isn’t he? He’s very sweet though, even if he is silly… He was all business when he was talking with me. Oh, and Kairi did the same! She’s just as sweet as Lea, it’s like they were cut from the same cloth. Uh--”

Chirithy paused. “Anyways, Lea told me that you can tell him and Isa about which Worlds you’re going to, for safety’s sake, but you should refrain from telling others, which means specifically Sora.”

Ven let out a sad _hmm_ , but Chirithy shook his head.

“I know, I know! Sora just… you know how he talks without thinking. Lea is worried that if Riku gets wind of where you are, he might tell Aqua, and Lea wants to avoid it to protect you from the extra burden on your shoulders. He said you have enough of it already.”

Chirithy stopped, and considered something for a few moments.

“Riku just doesn’t know the full story, Ven. I think if he did, he wouldn’t tell Aqua, you know? But he’s worried about you, too; he cares about you! Riku wants you to be safe, and he’d probably think the safest place for you is at home, with your friends.”

Ven wondered if Chirithy was trying to reassure him of something, but he didn’t understand what that thing was.

“I’m not trying to be safe, Chirithy.” Ven pouted. “I’m looking for Vanitas, and I’ve already accepted that I could be thrown headfirst into danger at any time. Besides, I don’t know if you saw, but I took out a big group of Heartless! I can handle myself, and either way, if I get hurt, it’s my own fault for not being careful enough.”

“I saw, I know!” His Dream Eater sighed, “And, for as reckless as you are,”

“ _Well_ \--”

“you’re strong, and fast. As long as you fight Heartless like those, you should be okay!”

He placed a hand on Chirithy’s head, rubbing a patch of fur with his thumb. He desperately wished to see creatures that weren’t Heartless, but he refrained from saying it in front of Chirithy. Making his Spirit worried wouldn’t help things.

“Thank you, Chirithy. Can you remind me to thank Lea and Isa later?”

“Of course!” He squeaked. “Um… does that mean you’re planning on doing something for them?”

Thoughts swarmed Ven’s mind, and after a short period of musing, he grabbed the thing that would be the funniest to tease them for. “Hm… well, one good deed deserves another, doesn’t it?” He smiled. “I have to repay them at _least_ tenfold for what they’ve done for me. I might pay for a date of theirs… Do you think they go to Le Grand Bistrot often?”

“Well,” Chirithy giggled. “I think we should be honest and say, ‘no’.”

Ven put a hand on his cheek and laughed, his heart filling with bubbling joy. Honestly, he had to thank them for taking care of him earlier, too. Words could never be enough, he wanted to show with actions and items just how thankful he was.

“Ven?” Hesitation, then the Dream Eater looked up. “I won’t abandon you again.”

“Huh? _Again_? Chirithy, you’ve never--”

“I’ve been following you this entire time.” Chirithy confessed. “You never left my sight, but I stayed so far behind you, when I should have been right next to you. I know I disappear sometimes, but I’m still with you, always, even if it seems like I’m not. I wanted to give you space, but I don’t think you need that kind of space right now. You’d think I would understand that, having spent so much time...” 

Chirithy trailed off. Instead of continuing, he put a little paw on Ven’s chest.

“I will keep you as safe as I can, Ven. I promise you I will, and I’ll do it right by your side.”

Ven’s cheeks heated up at the genuine expression of such heartfelt devotion. His thoughts from earlier resurfaced, and again, he wondered what miraculous deed he had done to deserve a friend as warm and wonderful as Chirithy. He wasn’t sure he could imagine such a thing, but he was more than grateful for his constant support, more than words could possibly describe. To even try with words alone would be a disservice to everything Chirithy had done for him. 

In one fell swoop, he picked Chirithy up under his arms and shot off the ground with his shoes. He spun the two of them around high above the trees, then brought him close as they floated to the ground.

“I love you! I love you!” Ven said, giving him a kiss on his cheek. “You’re wonderful!” 

“Ven, be careful! And the order!” Chirithy gripped his arms around Ven’s head. “I love you, too!”

When both feet planted firmly on the ground, he gave him one last snuggle before setting him down, soft as a feather. 

“I do have a request for you, if you choose to accept it. I would really appreciate it if you could watch out for enemies, or…” Ven scratched his cheek. “Um… people… Like, not just Aqua and Terra, but others, too. Like, a heads up for anything you see or hear would be sweet!”

“It would be my pleasure!” Chirithy placed a paw on his purse and bowed.

Ven lent down and stuck a hand out for a high-five, offering Chirithy a grin. 

“For good luck?”

Chirithy bounced up, smacked his hand with his paw, then disappeared in a poof of light, smoke and what he could have sworn was confetti.

“Thanks!” Ven called. A newfound hope made its home in his heart, and he rested a hand over his chest. He could swear the warmth in it radiated, making his hand warm as well. 

Lea, Isa, Kairi, Chirithy; all of them, all of his friends and family, filled him with the drive to keep going, despite his anxiety and doubt. He counted himself very lucky to have such good friends who cared about him, who helped him as they did. He wasn’t sure where he’d be without them. His friends really _were_ his power, even if that had been used more as a joke in their friend group with how much Sora said it for every little thing.

He knew Sora still meant it completely and wholly, and Ven did, too; the sentiment itself wasn’t bad at all. Friends kept you going, kept you strong when you thought you were weak. Without his friends, he would’ve been lost, time after time. It was almost sad to think about what kind of terrible situation he’d be in without their help.

But S _ora’s_ situation with the phrase and the meaning behind it was more complicated. Sora had to understand that he could do things for himself and by himself, too. Ven wanted to tell Sora point blank, but he always stopped himself. He knew it wasn’t _his_ job to point it out to him, Sora had to figure it out for himself. He had enough therapy under his belt at this point, right? He hoped so… poor kid.

He cleared his thoughts. He was getting distracted again, and there was still light out! There was a brother who needed him, and he’d get him.

He pulled out Lost Memory, and began to move forward once again.

\--

“I can’t believe you know how to make a fire.” Chirithy commented, dropping some dried sticks into the small flame. “I mean, it’s cool that you do, I meant no offense. You just have those Fire spells and all, you wouldn't think that you'd need to actually make one yourself. Where did you learn?”

“Well first of all,” Ven lectured, “it's always handy to know skills like this. We have magic, sure, but we shouldn't be solely dependent on it. It's like, why have that infirmary at the Land if we have Curaga? It's because Curaga isn't a be-all-end-all, and sometimes it can't fix everything. In the same sense, sometimes you are out of mana and don’t have an Ether. You could wait, or you could get a fire going. It’s why we have dodge rolls and cartwheels. If there is a space where you can’t do something, then you have to have something else to fill the space.”

He laughed a little at himself for getting as off-topic as he did, "Anyways, to answer your question, Master Eraqus taught Terra, Aqua and I.” 

Ven's shoulders sagged at the memory. The Master...

“I, um... couldn’t figure it out for the longest time, but he took it slow and helped me with it. Y’know, he--” he giggled, “when I finally got one started, he was so proud of me. Lifted me right up and spun me around, and he didn’t even notice when he stepped on the little fire I had started.”

Chirithy giggled. “Well, now I know where you get that from.”

Ven raised an eyebrow, crossed his arms. “Oh yeah? Get _what_?”

“When you spin me around! You get it from your _dad._ ” The Spirit teased.

“Well--” Ven scoffed and pushed Chirithy’s big head away. “Maybe I do! So what?”

Chirithy giggled even harder, the little purse on his torso jiggling with each laugh, the metal catching the firelight. The cold breeze diverted Ven’s attention, and he threw a few more sticks into the fire as he pulled his jacket tighter. It wasn’t much, but it was something. 

They were nestled under a few big, low trees; they provided some good shelter from the wind, but the night would still bring a nasty chill. They had to have a pretty big fire if they wanted to sleep comfortably through the night. Or, well, if **_he_ ** wanted to. He wasn’t even sure if Chirithy **needed** to sleep, much less _wanted_ to.

“On a more serious note,” Chirithy started, plopping on the other side of the growing fire, “there’s been quite the lack of Heartless here. It’s odd, isn’t there supposed to be more?”

Ven nodded. “Yeah, usually. Especially with how much ground we've covered, you’d think we would’ve seen more. That one group I fought was a little bigger, but there wasn’t anything else afterwards. Kinda weird, huh?”

“We can’t investigate it,” Chirithy said, his tone almost warning, “but it would be a good idea to tell one of the Masters so that they can look into it more when they can.”

“I’m seeing Mickey tomorrow.” He shrugged, let out a breath, then flopped on his back. He folded his arms behind his head as a makeshift pillow. 

“I’ll tell him then, I guess... No need to worry about it now.”

“You sound tired.”

“Do I?” 

As if on cue, he yawned. It ended in bubbled, muffled snickers as he tried, and failed, not to laugh. Perhaps Chirithy’s words had placed a spell upon him... What a funny thought.

“Guess I do. Bedtime, then! Goodnight, Chirithy.”

“Oh! Um, Ven?”

He looked to his friend, head tilted in question as he tried to keep his eyes open with concentrated blinking.  
  


“I’ll keep the nightmares away tonight.” The Dream Eater hopped over, and after placing a gentle paw on Ven’s head, brushed the hair out of his eyes. “Get some good rest. And don’t worry about the fire, I’ll keep an eye on that for you.”

Ven nodded, trying to stay awake as best he could. He let out another yawn, and rubbed the droplets of tears that had formed in his eyes.

“Thanks, Chi…” He yawned, closing his eyes.

Chirithy’s soft laugh was the last thing he heard as he drifted from this realm to the one of sleep.

\--

A leaf smacked him square in the face. He got it. He was up now.

With a groan, Ven sat up, plucking the leaf away.

“...Chirithy?” He mumbled, squinting his eyes to adjust to the sunrise. Sunrise? How long had he been sleeping?

“You’re awake!” Chirithy hopped over, his cape flapping cutely behind him. “You’re up pretty early. Any nightmares?”

“Uh…” Ven yawned and rubbed his eyes, “Nnnnnno?” 

“Then I did my job correctly.” He put his little paws on his hips. After a moment, he deflated as his pride was replaced with guilt. “I’m glad you didn’t have any nightmares, but I guess I had my work cut out for me. I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to give you a good dream.”

Ven pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his head on top of them. “That’s okay.” 

He didn’t really need dreams. Sometimes, dreamless sleep was better than anything. He had dreamed so much during that decade, that he could just remember those if he got bored. He wondered if Sora still knew where those funny little animals were. He wanted to see them again. 

“I could sleep for like, ten more hours.”

“Maybe you should?” Chirithy suggested, and Ven’s stomach twisted in a knot as he thought about the weight of his own words. Why had he chosen ten, of all numbers? 

“You do look really tired, Ven.”

“Nevermind, I… I can’t. I _won’t_. I don’t want to.” Ven pushed himself up. He couldn’t stand the mere idea of pausing his search any more than he already had, for something as awful as sleep. God, why had he even suggested it? He’d barely started searching in the first place, what right did he have to stop and take a break?

“We have to go to Mickey’s anyways, so there’s no time.”

Chirithy stayed quiet, but he seemed to be thinking. He glanced at his Spirit, but decided that leaving things as they were was probably best, for now. If they needed to talk, they could when they had enough time for it. 

Ven pulled out Wayward Wind, summoned his glider, and hopped on. His back turned away, he heard the familiar sound of Chirithy flipping and poofing away.

He clenched his fist. He’d rest later.

Probably.

\--

He followed Riku’s directions to Disney Castle easily, but for some reason, the sight surprised him more than he was expecting. The World had looked so different the last time he was here. A fascinating white and blue castle stood proudly in the center, almost glowing in the dark space around it. It was hard to look away, it was like a beacon. The town, which looked like it had at least doubled in size since he was last here, surrounded the castle like a garden of oranges, yellows, and reds. 

When he neared the World, a large grey tube opened up from the bottom, orange and yellow lights signalling him in. It was weird that there was just a tube going into the World. 

He shook it off.

Following the tunnel until it’s end, he reached a big gray room, covered in brown tubes and filled with scattered Mickey heads. Mickey sure kept to his brand, didn’t he? Ven guessed that was pretty admirable, in a way. It was a little weird, though. He hoped the weirdness didn’t become a trend, but it sure looked like it was going to. He figured he should just accept it before he got too confused to wrap his head around it.

He slowed to a stop, then hopped off his glider as it disappeared into sparkles, reforming as his Key in his hand. A noise in front of him and he glanced up: on the steps, running down at full speed were Donald and Goofy. Something struck him as odd that they weren’t in their travelling clothes, but he ignored it.

“Ven! Good to see ya, buddy.” Goofy greeted, getting to Ven first on account of his longer legs. “It sure has been a while, _a-hyuck_!”

A grin spread across his face. 

“Yeah! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? How are things holding up with you guys?”

“Things have gone back to normal,” Donald quacked, “for the most part. It’s boring.”

“ _Gawrsh_ , Donald.” Goofy laughed, “Ya sound like you’re itchin’ for a fight!”

Donald groaned, putting a hand over his eyes. “I have all this magic power and I’m not doing anything with it!” He threw the hand in the air, and looked up to Ven. “I want more _action_! I miss when we used to tear through Heartless like they were paper!”

He crossed his arms and tapped his foot in agitation, but Ven couldn’t stop thinking about how cute he looked. “I’m a little jealous of Aqua. Sora said she teaches people how to hone and use their magic. I wish the King would let me do something like that.”

Poor Donald… now that their big adventures were over, there probably wasn’t much to do except guard the castle or occasionally go on a mission or two, and that’s if they were lucky. Only the Masters were cleared for the more dangerous missions that involved Heartless, and, sure, sometimes they asked for help, but it was never from Donald and Goofy. He knew they were both bored, even if Goofy hadn’t said anything, and… He couldn’t help feel that they were a bit lonely, too. It must be so quiet without Sora.

He could help them with their boredom, though, he was sure of it. After all, Aqua was his sister, and he and Mickey were pretty good friends. He figured he was the best person to help find some way to relieve his friend of his sadness. He couldn’t just leave him like this, it wouldn’t be right. He just had to think of something for Donald...

“Well, why not ask her and Mickey if you can join?” Ven suggested, squatting down and putting a hand on Donald's arm. “Aqua could always use an extra hand, and I know she’d appreciate the help from someone as powerful as you.”

“ _WAK_?! You really mean it?” He looked up at Ven hopefully.

Ven grinned again, Donald’s hope being awfully contagious.

“Of course! I’m sure Sora would love to see you more, too.”

Goofy sighed, folding his hands together and hanging his head. “We don’t see Sora too much nowadays. It’d be real nice to see ‘im more.”

“Aw, Goofy…” He stood up, put a hand on Goofy’s shoulder, and offered him a sympathetic smile when he glanced up. “You say that like you can’t ask Mickey and Aqua the same. The least you can do is ask, right? That can’t hurt anything at all.”

A moment passed as he thought it over, and then a silly smile plastered itself back on Goofy’s face once again. “Ya know what? I reckon you’re right, Ven.” After a laugh as goofy as he was, Goofy waved his armored hand towards the door. “Come on, you two! Let’s go see the King and Queen!”

“Finally,” Donald grumbled, shaking his head as he began the charge back up the steps. “I thought we’d never stop with the visiting. It hasn’t been that long, we don’t have that much to catch up on.”

“Aw shucks, like ya weren’t visiting along with us.” He teased, bumping Donald with his elbow. “I know ya like talkin’ to Ven just as much as I do, ya don’t gotta be shy!”

He adjusted his big purple hat with a grumble as he walked away from Goofy and Ven. “C’mon, we can’t keep the King and Queen waiting!!”

Ven laughed, following them up the two flights of stairs and into a dark corridor. Together, Donald and Goofy pushed open the doors, glancing back at Ven as they walked out into a beautiful green courtyard. Short yellow daisies, more than he could hope to count, lined the grassy path that sprawled in front of them. Just before the t-junction, a hedged arch stretched high above and over them, perfectly trimmed and covered in big stars, sunflowers, and a cute purple flower he didn’t recognize. He’d have to ask Terra about it later.

More hedges, all of different shapes and sizes scattered the gardens, some even bigger than the arch; he could recognize they looked like they were in a marching band? It made him wonder if Mickey was in a band. More sections of differently-colored daisies circled around the hedge they had walked out of, which was decorated in a similar fashion to the arch. Everything was so vibrant and colorful, and Terra floated into his thoughts again: he would love it here, Ven knew he’d have to bring him some time.

“Who does your landscaping?” Ven asked, pausing to smell one of the sunflowers on the arch as they walked under it. “It’s absolutely gorgeous.”

“Why, none other than our good friend Horace Horsecollar!” Goofy proclaimed, sticking his chest out with pride. “It’s what he does when we’re not celebratin’ somethin’ in the town, though I can’t imagine him bein’ here right now. Works in the mornin’s and twilights, y’see. He’s quite a feller, I’d think you’d like him.”

“He sounds familiar...” Ven scratched his cheek. “I might’ve met him before. He works in Disney Town, you said?”

Donald stopped and put a hand on his hip. “I wouldn’t take you for a flower guy, Ven. How long have you been interested in gardening?”

Ven’s hands flew up in front of him, and he shook his head. “Oh geez, no, no! Sure, I’m a little into the art, but Terra is the real green thumb! I just picked it up from being around him. Like, for instance,” he motioned around the courtyard, “I don’t recognize some of these flowers, but I bet you that Terra could! He knows a lot about flowers and plants, and he’s the one who kickstarted the abundance of nature we have in the Land now; it was suffering pretty bad before he intervened. Master Eraqus wanted the main areas to be trimmed just so, and he said it was because it was safer; me, Terra, and Aqua knew it was because he was scared of Heartless and the like hiding in bushes, though.”

“So did you not clean it?” Donald asked.

“Huh?” Ven snorted. “Of course we did, why would we disobey our Master on something as silly as grass. We just wished he was honest with us, but… I guess that kinda thing is hard to admit to. The areas we traversed every day were really easy to take care of, anyways, so it was fine. And it was fun, especially when it rained really hard. Splashing mud at Terra and Aqua was really funny, and they never expected it even though I did it every time.”

Ven remembered, then, how much Aqua had wanted to take the Master’s sentiment even farther, trimming all of the Land until every inch was immaculate. Terra stopped her before she inevitably would have panicked herself into a frenzy, but still... She had picked up a lot of the Master’s little habits and quirks, hadn’t she? Some were good, but others… Something about it left such a bad twinge in his heart. It wasn’t really anyone’s fault, but…

“Uh...” he picked his train of thought back up. “Terra says that there’s a lot we can learn from nature, how it cycles and continually renews. Even against all odds, it never fails. It always comes back, beautiful and strong again, no matter what happens to it.”

“Gawrsh…” Goofy murmured, “That’s plenty poetic, ain’t it?”

Ven rubbed the back of his neck, and a heat rose to his cheeks. “Terra’s words, not mine. You’ll have to compliment him whenever you meet him, he deserves the attention! He’s pretty poetic, when he puts his mind to it.”

“Let’s keep moving!” A grumble of quacks and Donald began to waddle again, pretending that he hadn’t been the one to incite the conversation this time. He led the pair left and down the path, taking the first path to the right and following it around a hedge through a small door.

“Welcome to the colonnade!” Goofy chuckled, staying next to Ven as they started up the stairs. “The castle’s pretty big, don’tcha think?”

“I guess so! I don’t know why I thought it’d be smaller. Maybe because Mickey is?”

Donald _waked_ in annoyance, shaking his head. “When we were here with Sora the first time, there were a bunch of Heartless. Shows what happens when me, Goofy, and the King aren’t here to take care of things.”

He thought it was funny that Donald had completely ignored what he said. He must’ve still been thinking about Sora, which was so sweet that he didn’t mind it one bit; there was the added bonus, too, that Donald hadn’t gotten angry at him calling Mickey small. He felt pretty giddy about having dodged that one.

“Was there no one else in the castle?” Ven asked.

“Of course there was, Goofy’s not the captain of a royal knights of one! They were protecting different parts of the castle, not to mention that getting rid of that many Heartless without a Keyblade is an impossible task.” Another _quack_ of annoyance. “Sora was so disrespectful towards the Queen when he first met her! It’s like no one ever taught that kid how to greet royalty.”

“Y’know, Donald,” Ven snickered, “I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that he never _had_ to learn that. Terra, Aqua, and I all learned how to greet royalty, but that’s because Master Eraqus taught us. With Sora… Well, he was a pretty normal kid before destiny scooped him up like it did. He didn’t go through any training at all before Aqua and Terra started teaching him.”

As normal as someone like Sora could be, anyways. It wasn’t exactly normal to have a person in your heart for ten years, much less others in your heart during that time.

Goofy _hmm_ ’d, “Yeah, Donald. I don’t think ya remember just how confused and scared Sora was when we met him. Everythin’ was new to him, his home had been all but swallowed up by the darkness! Remember when he saw Riku, how relieved he was? That small bit of familiarity must have felt real powerfully comfy.”

“Of course I remember, I was there! But… I should give Sora more credit; he adapted to this mess as fast as he could.” Sighing, he glanced to Ven, and the softness in Donald’s expression took him off-guard. “Goofy and I grew up with it, we had more than enough time to prepare and understand it all. Sora had minutes before he was told to understand everything that had been thrown at him, and that was after his home had been destroyed.”

Goofy and Donald must have been doing a lot of introspection since the Graveyard. When he was sure Donald had finished, he interlocked his fingers and spoke. 

“I think we should give Sora more credit in general. He's been at the center of a lot of grief, and he’s barely gotten a break. He usually seems so happy that I guess you wouldn’t think of it, but he’s suffered just as much as everybody else has, don’t you think?”

They got to the door at the end of the hall, but before he opened it, Goofy stopped.

“I’m glad he’s healin’.” Tears welled up in his eyes, but he was in no rush when he wiped them away. “Ya know how it is with him, how hard it is ‘n’ all. He’s had to put up with more than he shoulda, all when he was just a baby.”

“Don’t let Sora hear ya calling him a baby.” Donald whispered loudly, leaning into Goofy and putting a hand to the right side of his mouth. “He’ll get real mad. He might think it’s a height joke. He’s so darn sensitive about being small.”

“ _A-hyuck_! I getcha! I’ll be careful.” He ‘whispered’ back, his eyes squinting from how far his grin pushed up his cheeks. “Without further ado, Mister Ven.” He bowed a bit, then opened the door.

“Arriving to see His Majesties, King Mickey and Queen Minnie.” Goofy announced.

The room opened up to the biggest, most wonderful library he had ever seen. On his left was a pretty wooden desk, and on his right was a large golden fireplace that, while unlit, had the remnants of glowing embers resting in a spread out pile. Even so, the room didn’t smell like smoke- instead, it smelled clean and fresh, like someone had just cleaned. By the looks of the polished, almost reflective checkerboard floor, he figured he wasn’t too far off.

The room seemed a little wibbly, but he was sure that was intentional, and it wasn’t a concern of his, either way. He stared, wide-eyed at the bookshelves in front of him, mesmerized by the way they had been set up, and how many books were inside them. Were they all random books Mickey had collected, or were they all set to a theme? Oh, maybe they had a book or two on space? It all fascinated him so much that he completely forgot where he was.

“Ventus?! Oh my goodness, it truly _is_ you!” Minnie ran over to him and grabbed his hand, taking him out of him amazement. “Mickey told me you were coming, and I could barely believe it, I-- It’s been much too long, hasn’t it? You look like you have gone through harsh trials, but you hardly look a day older since I last saw you; I’ve kept you in my thoughts all these years, and I was so terrified that I’d never see you again.” She turned to Mickey and frowned, all-too-familiar fear on her face.

“Mickey, dear? What happened to Ventus?”

Mickey, with his fingers laced together, walked up and greeted Ven. He let out a soft, uncomfortable laugh. “Hiya, Ven.”

He turned to his wife, his head hung in shame. “He slept for a decade, Minnie. There wasn’t anything I coulda done, truly.”

Between Mickey’s guilt and Minnie’s distress, he wanted to save the situation.

“It’s alright, Minnie!” Ven squatted down. “My heart, see, it went under a lot of stress. I was closer than you’d think, though! In fact, I was staying in Sora’s heart the whole time. I had to sleep until we could get Aqua, so she could open the Land and Sora could return my heart to my body. There was no other route we could have gone, given how it all played out.”

Minnie sighed, and took his hands in hers. “As long as you, Aqua, and Terra are alright now, Ventus. That is what matters most.”

“Aw, shucks, Minnie.” He squeezed her hands and gave her a grin. 

“Call me Ven, okay? We’re friends!”

She smiled, laugh lines crinkling the skin near her eyes. It really had been a decade, hadn’t it? “You haven’t changed since I met you. I am glad you held onto your kindness, despite the horrors you have surely endured.” Minnie breathed her hurt out, then pulled her hands back and folded them over her dress: an image of collected, princess perfection once again.

“You missed quite a few festivals, you know!”

“Oh no, how foolish of me. I’ll have to bring my family there when you have the next one, to make up for it.” Ven giggled, “I hope Pete didn’t make any trouble for you while I was gone.”

“He isn’t allowed in Disney Town anymore,” Minnie huffed, dropping all attempts to keep up royal airs. “I banished him myself, even against Mickey’s requests to allow him in.” 

She put a hand over her mouth and leant in towards Ven.

“Mickey’s gotten much too soft. I believe it would be most funny, if it wasn’t so utterly disheartening.”

She pulled back and spoke at her normal volume again.

“Pete’s been causing trouble to not only our kingdom for decades, but he’s been bothering me, too! Even when I was just the princess, he would try to kidnap me, and he never learned better, even as we grew older! I thought sending him away, banishing him from my kingdom, would make things easier, but then he just teamed up with Maleficent. Who knows what trouble they’re up to these days, if she hasn’t gotten sick of him by now.”

“Maleficent?!” Ven stood up straight and glanced to Donald and Goofy, then to Mickey. “She was here? _The_ Maleficent?”

“Gosh, do ya know her, Ven?” Mickey asked. “She’s caused trouble for us more than once, but it’s usually not too bad.”

“Um... Your Majesty, she tried t’summon Kingdom Hearts from the Hearts of all the Worlds.” Goofy pointed out. “Me, Sora, ‘n’ Donald had ta put a stop t’her. Remember?”

“She tried to take the castle, too, more than a few times!” Donald crossed his arms over his chest. “I’d say that’s pretty bad, King Mickey!”

Mickey rubbed his neck. “Shucks, you’re right, fellas, and I’m sorry. She and Pete’ve been so quiet this past year, their past attempts at villainy didn’t come to mind right away.”

“Well, aside from all of this nonsense,” Minnie grabbed Ven’s hand and tugged him towards Donald. “Donald, hold up your hands, please, palm facing you.”

Donald did as he was told, cocking his head to the side. 

“Of course, your Majesty, but I’m not sure why you--”

“Is that a RING?” Ven wailed, pointed to the gold ring on Donald’s hand. Donald’s feathers puffed up, and Ven grabbed his shoulders and rattled him around, too much excitement building in him at once to act normally or rationally. 

“Congrats, Donald! Who’s the lucky person?” He took Donald’s hand in his own and admired the ring, moving his little ducky hand around so the metals and gems could catch the light better. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t noticed it before, it was awfully shiny and had such pretty blue and purple stones in it. Whoever got the ring must have an excellent sense of fashion and color, because it accessorized really well with the rest of him.

Donald pulled away from Ven and covered his eyes with his hands.

“Aw, phooey.” He bubbled. “You haven’t met her yet. Her name’s Daisy.”

“We kept teasin’ Daisy that they’d never get engaged.” Goofy said to Ven, laughter spilling out in a _hawhaw-_ **_hoo_ ** when he took time to breathe, “I guess Daisy couldn’t stand the teasin’ anymore, and she went and proposed to ‘im.”

Ven put his cheeks in his hands, swaying side to side. “That’s so cuuuute!” He swooned. “I’m really happy for you, Donald! You have to let me meet her some time!”

While Donald was distracted, Mickey took the opportunity to slide over to Goofy. “Gee, Goof. I think another ring or two would look pretty swell on Donald. Wouldn’t ya say so?”

Goofy, realizing something that Ven most certainly did not, grinned wide. “Gawrsh, your Majesty, I gotta agree whole-heartedly with ya on that one. Have you decided on the colors yet?”

“ **NOT IN FRONT OF VEN!** ” Donald wailed, poofier than ever as he pushed Goofy and Mickey away from him, making Minnie laugh. 

Ven was missing something that was very important, but he couldn’t tell what that was.

The door behind them burst open and a bright orange dog tackled Mickey to the ground, slobbering all over his face. 

He glanced up to Ven. 

Ven held his hand up in a wave. 

The dog went back to slobbering on Mickey’s face once again.

“Pl-Pluto! Not when there’s guests, pal!” Mickey put his arms around the dog, and looked up to Ven. “This is Pluto! I’m glad he came in when he did, it woulda been a shame if you two had missed each other!”

“Wwww _wAIT_ ,” Ven pointed, almost accusingly, at Pluto, whose tail started to wag in anticipation. “I saw you, too! Weren’t you at Disney Town? You were sniffing around for something!”

Another muddled memory came and went; a field, vast, green, neverending. A long dirt road ahead of them, Pluto, and the search for something, or perhaps… _someone_ … but what?

“Sure sounds like Pluto!” Goofy said. “He likes sniffin’.”

“I love that for him.” Ven said, absentmindedly. The memory still seated itself in his brain, and he couldn’t place where it was from. When had he been in a field like that? Had he really met Pluto sometime before… no… _after,_ Disney Town?

“Well, Ven, if ya could help me up?” Mickey reached out a hand, and Ven scooped it up without hesitation, helping his friend stand. “Thanks! Now, Riku told me that ya wanted some help with findin’ Vanitas? I’d like to help ya and let ya go on your way, but since I’m a Master, I’ve gotta ask ya a few questions.”

Mickey walked around the desk in front of Ven and hopped up onto the chair, facing him.

“Hope ya don’t mind.”

The memory could wait.

Ven shook his head. “No, I get it, you can go on. I have two older siblings who are Masters, remember? I know about the routines you’re all supposed to go through.”

He sure knew _of_ them, but he hadn’t been around very often when Aqua did them, and Riku and Terra never asked him any questions about normal keyblade stuff, so he wasn’t quite certain of what he was in for.

“Great! I’ll start then. What’s the status of th’ last few Worlds ya’ve been to?”

“Radiant Garden was…” He paused, unsure if he should mention the stress he was under, or if he should be vague. If there were no enemies, then being vague would be fine, right? It’s not like he needed to worry his friends here too much. 

“I wasn’t there too long, but Lea and Kairi were there, so if something happened, they would’ve taken care of it. Twilight Town was normal, too. Riku was hanging out with Roxas and Sora, and you know how powerful they are! I’m sure they would’ve won against anything that charged towards them. The Destiny Islands were good, too: Naminé and Xion were there for a bit before joining the others at Twilight Town. After that, I went to the Dwarf Woodlands, and that’s where I spotted my first and only group of Heartless.”

“Only?” Mickey questioned, “At the Dwarf Woodlands? Hmm… It was one’a the ones pulled out of the Realm of Darkness when Sora, Donald, and Goof defeated Xehanort’s Heartless, right?” He put his elbows on his desk and locked his gloved fingers together, using his thumbs to support his chin. Glancing to Donald and Goofy, the frustration and confusion on his brow deepened. “Why would there only be one group of Heartless?”

Donald tapped his beak as he thought. “What kinda Heartless did ya see, Ven?”

Oh geez. He racked his brain, trying to remember. “Uhhhh… Some Soldiers, a few Earth Cores, some Large Bodies? I think I’m forgetting some.”

“Gee, those aren’t particularly strong at all. Especially for someone of your skill, Ven,” Mickey extended a hand towards Ven, “I doubt those took much to take down.” He returned his hand to its original position.

“Aqua told the other Masters an’ I about the lack of Heart in the Enchanted Dominion and Castle of Dreams, too, but we’d just written it off as coincidence. I shoulda known that we aren’t fortunate enough to have coincidences happen to us. And, gosh, now that all three of them are like this, we can’t write it off any longer, now can we? They were steeped in darkness for so long, so we should still be bringin’ the number down, but barely any Heartless… I gotta say, fellas; it fills me with a terrible unease.”

He put his hands down and smiled at Ven. “Well, it’s not something you should be worried about. The other Masters and I will look into it, so thanks, Ven! The knowledge you’ve shared today will help us keep the Worlds safe from the darkness that longs to capture it.”

Ven nodded. “Whatever I can do to help, Mickey!”

“Let’s forget reports for now, how have ya been? What have ya been up to lately?” 

He went quiet, and Ven mirrored it, stopping himself from asking Mickey if he knew where Vanitas was. Something big seemed to be weighing on the little king’s heart. 

Mickey sighed. “Actually, I… I got a call from Lea... Aqua, too. Lea swore me to secrecy for a few more days, so against my better judgement, I won’t tell her you were here. She’s real worried about ya, though, Ven. Ya can’t just run off to find him, no matter how much ya might want to. It’s dangerous.”

Ven’s heart bristled, but he kept a lid on it. He wasn’t going to lose his cool **_here_ **, of all places, but he wasn’t going to let anyone try and deter him anymore.

“Mickey, you’ve seen me fight.” Ven assured him. “I’ve been in plenty of dangerous situations, and I can handle myself, so please don’t worry! I just ask that if you find anything, you tell me right away. I have to find him, Mickey.” 

Something burned deep, bright in his chest, and the next line came out without thought; he barely registered that he was saying it.

“It’s somethin’ I just gotta do, your Majesty. Think of how Riku felt, how he knew in his heart what he had to do, and how he couldn’t cast it aside. If you can let him go, you can let me go, too.”

Mickey, Donald, and Goofy gasped, eyes mirroring a horror that Ven couldn’t possibly grasp. They did their best to recover, reacting to memories Ven had no access to.

They weren’t his, they never were. He ignored the lingering pain in his heart, pushed away the suffering that didn't belong to him.

“Gosh, I guess I didn’t… think they’d tell ya about that...” 

Mickey’s face scrunched up again, and Donald ‘aww’d quietly.

“I’m just worried about ya, Ven. It’s not like how it used to be when we first met, times have changed. I’m not an apprentice anymore, I’m a Master, and I hafta to look after you kids.”

“Not you too…” Ven sighed, clenched his teeth as he collected himself. “You don’t have to look after me, Mickey. I’m fine. You’re right about it being different; I’m stronger and wiser now, way more than I was before. I won’t…” He paused. 

“I won’t play the pacifist. If I have to fight, I will. I promise.”

“Ven?” Minnie put a hand on Ven’s arm. He squatted down to meet her eyes. 

“I understand the need to follow duty, and the need to follow your heart. I was born and raised a princess, y’know!” She smiled softly at him, and he felt at ease. “Just know that you will always have a home here with us, and that we’re here if you require anything at all. An ear, a shoulder to cry on, maybe a distraction or reminder that you are worth everything in the Worlds and more.”

He nodded, softly. “Thank you, Minnie.”

She put a hand on his cheek. “Take care, and find your brother. We’ll celebrate when you do. Fireworks and everything!”

“You and your fireworks.” Donald laughed, a wheeze.

“If you are going to have a celebration, you should make it count!” Minnie brushed off her dress and walked over to Donald. “Don’t you try to tell me that you don’t have fireworks in your arsenal, Mister Duck. I know you like the noise and sparkles just as much as I do.”

“You almost make me sound like a hypocrite!” He smiled, putting his hands behind his back and fluttering his eyelashes. “I would never do that, your Majesty.”

“Of course you wouldn’t.” She lightly patted his beak, then turned back to Ven.

“Safe travels, Ven. Don’t be a stranger.”

Ven waved to everyone, and when he saw Mickey avoiding his gaze, he walked over to him. He gave Mickey’s head a pat, and smiled at him, hoping that he didn’t think Ven was mad. When Mickey smiled back, he nodded, and started his trek back to the entrance. 

He didn’t want anyone to worry about him, _especially_ Mickey, who already worried about everyone way more than he should, way more than what was healthy. He acted just like Aqua had, God, were all Masters like that? Terra was, overall, calmer, but.. If Riku tried to tell him that he should be careful and wait, he would attack him with no hesitation. Sure, Riku was a Master, but it was different with Riku. He had no fear in his heart when it came to him. He’d shoot an Aeroga so powerful that it’d knock him 40 feet back at least, far enough where his pretty teleport couldn’t do anything.

That was a big lie, even if the idea was funny to consider. He would never attack Riku. At least, not without a really good reason, and he was sure he’d _never_ have a good reason. It’s not like Riku would ever try and give him one, and Roxas was right, Riku had anxiety. It reminded him a bit of Aqua, sometimes.

Ven crossed his arms over his chest, deep in thought as he meandered through the halls on auto pilot. Riku and Aqua were really similar, actually. They both had that same anxiety, they both had these personas they either knowingly or unknowingly had. Even if she didn't say it, it was obvious that Aqua leant into her 'Master' title more than she probably should. It made her strive for perfection, to push herself harder and harder so that she never made a mistake, but Aqua wasn't perfect at all; that was one of the things Ven adored the most about her. It was so beautiful and important to be flawed, and he knew he was sentimental about the concept, but he figured it was his right to be. Being perfect never did anyone a lick of good.

He was sure Riku didn’t know about his Cool Guy persona, but he had to know the effect he had on people, right…? Sora had discussed it with Ven once, that because Riku was so quiet, and smart, and spoke in such short sentences when serious, that people thought he was really cool and smart. After a moment of ' _Uhhh… Wait…_ ', Sora had clarified that Riku _was_ really cool and smart, but not for the reasons people thought. He was a big nerd, knowing all this cool stuff about technology and how things worked. Sora had explained he had never been able to pick it up himself, but Riku made it look almost effortless. And, Sora added, if they heard him go on about some of the things he did, then he was sure they’d see him like _he_ saw him. 

Sora had gotten too embarrassed to continue when Ven asked what he meant, which made him even more curious for an answer that, unfortunately, never came. Ven had to wonder how oblivious Sora truly was, because at times like that, it was incredible. At this point, he was probably in intense denial, but why?

Ugh. For supposedly ‘not caring’ about Sora’s crush on Riku, he thought about it a lot more than he liked. It was starting to get annoying, and he’d been over it for a while, honestly. He reached a hand towards his forehead, and it _clunked,_ his hand never reaching its destination.

  
Wait.

What?

He blinked a few times to collect his bearings. Space surrounded him on all sides, big and small chunks of rocks floating in place in the abyss as distant planets twinkled like stars. His armor was on, he was gliding as he normally did. In fact, he knew this part of space well. The Land was in this galaxy.

He smacked his open palms to his helmet and forced out a groaned, loud and long and **_angry_ ** until his throat started to hurt. How could he have spaced out so bad AGAIN? He had JUST been walking through the colonnade; how long had it been since he had left the castle, how long had he been like this?! He hadn’t checked the time once during his visit, and sure, he could call Riku and ask him to ask Mickey, but that would be so embarrassing, and then everyone would worry about him, and he would never hear the end of it and it would just be annoying and frustrating! The cherry on top of the cake was that if he had landed back home, then everything would have been--

His phone began to ring and vibrate, pausing his rage. He slowed to a halt and answered, hoping to whatever could hear him that the phone would work in space.

Naminé’s face appeared on the screen, and her eyebrows went up in surprise.

“Oh, um, you’re in space?” She tilted her head.

“Y-yeah!” Ven looked around, and as his anger dissipated, he mostly just felt confused. “Yeah, I, uh-- Gosh, I sure am.”

“Are you coming back from Disney Castle?” She asked. “Oh, but if you’re on the way there, I can always call back later.”

“No, no, I’m free. I’m free.” 

He took in a deep, deep breath and forced it out twice as fast. 

“What’s up, Naminé?”

She grinned, and the camera shook a little as she hopped from one foot to the next. “Can you come over today, to the lab? I know you--”

Her words began to waterfall, and she flapped her hands excitedly.

“I barely got any sleep last night, I was so excited and I knooow you wanna focus on Vanitas, but Kairi told me that I should just grit my teeth and ask! She kind of demanded it, actually.” Naminé stopped briefly to giggle. “I did not stop infodumping about hearts and she listened to all of it but she wants me to go for what I want, y’know? Anyways! Yes. Can you? Pretty please?”

Naminé’s joyous mannerisms were contagious, Ven nodding enthusiastically to match her speed and anticipation. It’s not like he could emote in too many other ways, what with his helmet on. “Of course! I’ll be there in five minutes, so hang tight!”

“Okay! I’ll meet you at the gates, so stay safe, Ven!”

\--

It’d been too long since he stood in front of the castle. It felt too huge, too high. Was this really where Naminé worked, where she spent most of her time? He’d heard bits and pieces from their mutual friends; Naminé being a leading force in new experiments and hypotheses that were not only safe, but morally correct! He didn’t understand the last past, but he was happy for her. 

He’d heard things from the adults, too, about how she was a genius who put Ansem the Wise to shame, and how funny it was, considering the circumstances and how small and soft-spoken she was. It had felt a little off-putting: sure, Naminé was quiet and kind-of-sort-of-not-really short, but that didn't have anything at all to do with her ability to be smart and help people. He also didn’t know who Ansem the Wise was… He had assumed he was the king, or some other position of high authority? He had tried to ask his friends, but the name alone brought groans and scoffs, and Ven hadn’t needed an answer past that. If someone elicited such a disgusted response with just their name, then it didn’t matter what title they held. He could guess the kind of person he was.

“Ven!” Naminé ran out, her hand raised in a frantic wave as she tried to grab his attention. Her usual dress and cardigan were replaced with a long white lab coat, and as she ran towards him, he could see a bit of bright purple fabric that sat at her collar and bits of a brown sweater poking out from under it.

“Hi, Naminé!” He waved back, picking up his pace to meet her half way. 

“Are you ready? Gosh, I’m so excited.” She put her hand over her heart. “Come with me, I’ll take you inside. Oh, but before we doooo…”

She stopped at the door, grabbing the attention of the two guards; a man with big, long dreads in a ponytail, and another, taller man with short, wavy hair that had been smoothed back. They were both so huge… And they looked _so_ familiar, but he couldn’t quite place it.

“I would like to introduce you to these wonderful gentlemen. Ven, these are our two guards who not only guard the gates during the day, but they're scientists themselves: Dilan,” she motioned towards the man with the dreads, “and Aeleus!” she motioned towards the man with shorter hair.

“...Roxas?” Aeleus questioned, sizing Ven up.

“Definitely not,” Dilan leant against his spear, smirking at Aeleus. “You really think this little _shrimp_ could be _Roxas_? I believe you might need to get your eyes checked, hah!”

**_Shrimp_ **?

Aeleus shrugged. A man of few words, Ven guessed.

“Um--” Ven squeaked. 

Coughed into his hand. 

Spoke normally, “No, I’m not Rox. We look _kinda_ similar, the comparison's more common than you’d think. I’m Ventus!” He held his hand out. “Call me Ven!”

“Wait, I recognize you…” Now it was Dilan’s turn to examine Ven, leaning in and squinting. “You’re that kid," 

He turned to his partner, "you remember, Aeleus, the one from a while ago," 

Then back to Ven, "who tried to get into the castle, aren’t you? Hah, I thought that odd monster had gotten you! Even kept telling us that you couldn’t have been defeated, a special case such as yours and whatnot.” 

He laughed, then stood up straight before poking Aeleus with the bottom of his spear.

“It’s been, what, twelve years by now? You’re still so…” He trailed off, as if not only trying to spare Ven the teasing, but leaving space for Ven to figure it out himself.

“You’re a baby.” Aeleus grumbled, making it easy for Ven.

The laugh that came out of Ven was a little forced and plenty awkward. He could not have been _that_ small.

“You’re not the first person to say that! It’s complicated,” He glanced to Naminé, “and I don’t think we have that kind of time. Besides!”

He clapped his hands together. “Would hate to keep you from your jobs! Good luck!”

“Thanks, Ven.” Dilan nodded. “Hope we’ll be seein’ more of you. You’re a _real_ card.”

Naminé gently took his hand in her own and led him through the small door.

When it shut, he let out the tension that had built in his chest with a big sigh.

“Sorry, they get a little friendly right off the bat.” Naminé apologized, glancing back.

Ven put his arms behind his head as he followed dutifully behind her, through halls, lefts and rights. “Oh no, that’s fine, I don’t mind that at all. I love making friends, and they really were nice! I do want to talk to them again. They’re just so...”

“Huge?” She offered, turning a sudden left and going up a flight of stairs, two at a time.

“Naminé, they’re massive!” He groaned. “No wonder they’re guards, oh my God! I hope if I see them more, it won't be so surprising, but I think I got a little intimidated, honestly.” 

She giggled, stopped at the top of the staircase and turned around to face him.

“Aw, Ven, I think you're underselling it with 'a little'. I’m sorry I didn’t intervene sooner, but it was so funny, and I couldn’t stop watching. You really did look like a shrimp next to them.”

He stopped and put his hands on his hips, jokingly glaring up at her.

“Imagine how Sora would look.” He smirked.

Naminé snorted with a wave of her hand, turning back and continuing until she reached a door about ten feet from the steps. “Don’t let him hear you say that, Ven.” She spoke, softly.

He matched her volume, placing a hand over his heart. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

She put her hand on a control panel on the right, and after a brief scan, the room opened before him. The soft hum of a machine greeted him first, the sound being dimmed by how thick the walls surely were. Two huge screens were positioned on his left, shut off so as to conserve power while not in use. The keyboard was built into the desk, and he pushed down the urge to run over and start poking at the keys. On his right was a slightly tilted and raised chair, stretching to include a footrest and an arm rest on each side. Above the chair, several smaller screens made a wide half-circle, holding data of all different kinds; graphs, tables, and numbers. He felt like he had seen a room like this one before, but it had to have been smaller. This one was so big and expansive, and had so many more screens.

Ven took a step towards the chair, and suddenly Naminé was there, half her body positioned in front of him and a hand stopping the rest, as if she intended to blockade him. Her face was concentrated, serious, and almost... solemn. The excitement from earlier, her lightheartedness, had vanished in an instant. Before he could ask what was wrong, she spoke.

“While these scans will be completely pain-free,” She explained, quietly, slowly, “I will be digging into your heart, and I will, at some point, have access to a lot of deeply personal feelings and memories. I will not touch these, but I will be able to see them. I am asking you one last time, before we begin: Are you absolutely positive that you are alright with me having access to your entire heart, and with me digging inside of it to look for darkness?”

Silently, Ven breathed in, still unsure of what had happened to make Naminé so on-edge. “Yes.” He said. “I’m positive.”

She waited for a moment, scanning him for any amount of hesitance or second thoughts. When she saw none, she backed out of his way, using her arm to point him towards the chair.

“Then if you don’t mind, I’ll make sure everything’s working.”

He plopped himself on the chair and settled in, watching as she walked around the room and checked the screens, occasionally flipping through pages on a clipboard she had picked up along the way. She worked dutifully, sometimes mumbling to herself as she glanced down at her papers. 

His ponderings from earlier floated back into his mind.

“Um, Naminé?”

She stopped in her tracks. “Yes, Ven?”

“Are there other rooms like this in the castle? Like, smaller versions of this one, maybe?”

She nodded. “Yes!” Naminé gave him a once over, then raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you remember? We gave Vanitas his own body in a room like that.”

Ven interlocked his fingers together.

“No, I don’t. I’m sorry.”

“Hmm…” She glanced down at her clipboard, flipped a few pages up.

“That’s very interesting.”

“What about this room?” He asked.

Naminé looked back up, smiled warmly. “Why, this is the room I was given form in.”

She walked over to him and hopped up on an available space on his chair. 

“Y’know, I was going to have his procedure in this room, but Sora and Kairi had requested that we have a smaller one for Vanitas, in case of need for intervention. The caution had worked out well, and other than Vanitas understandably lashing out at first, I’d say that it went pretty smoothly! Kairi protected you, and Sora held Vanitas back. Vanitas became his own person, fully and completely separated from you. The end goal we all wanted, fully realized.”

"The end goal…" He frowned. “Thank you for telling me, I don’t really... I’m sorry, I wish--”

She put a hand on his. “You don’t have to apologize for something you can’t help.”

Hopping off and walking to the big screens in front of him, she pushed a button and slid to the side. The screens buzzed to life and on it was a tiny, flat Ven. Stats of different kinds were on the screen, but he couldn’t make sense of them all.

“I did some digging last night. There are files in here on you, and I know you have not been in this castle before. Data was collected, unbeknownst to you. With the dates on these files, I’d have to guess that these notes were made about you and your behaviors during your first visits here to Radiant Garden. They mention you interacting with Aeleus and Dilan, and they also mention Ienzo.”

“...That little kid I saved?” He was surprised at how easy it came to him.

“I’m sure he was, then.” She giggled. “He’s a little bigger now. These all seem to be written by Even, though some of the accounts of your behavior were collected from other castle personnel. It’s nothing too intense, just fighting styles, the occasional mention of how you interacted with the world around you. Mostly passing observations, as they had work to do, of course.”

“Do they still do stuff like that?”

“Goodness, no.” She grimaced. “I wouldn’t let them. It’s creepy and weird; Ansem did that with Sora, too, when he was sleeping, though that was more up close rather than in passing. He-he did it behind my back…” Her knuckles turned white at the force of which she clung to her clipboard.

Naminé pushed her frustration away. “But, we have a chart for you that I can use and a few notes on how your heart is _pure light,_ and that is what I can go off of."

Ven twiddled his thumbs, stared at them as he did. "It's still pure light, then…?"

"Well…" Naminé shrugged. "I cannot be absolutely certain until I have multiple scans. Terra has told me, with no doubt in his voice, that you have a pure heart, as have others- some scientists, some not. While I’m sure it was just rumors and speculations that they took as true, I don’t believe it one bit, actually.”

“Really?” Ven asked, with a wiggle of his legs. “The Princesses have hearts of pure light, don’t they? What would be so weird about me having one?”

“Not even the Princesses have pure hearts, Ven.” She tapped the image of his heart on the big, rightmost screen. “A heart cannot be whole- complete,- with _only_ light or _only_ darkness; as humans, we are complex. Sure, there are odd apples in the bunch who might have an overwhelming majority of light or darkness, but you must have both to be truly alive, to have complex thought. Terra explained to me that when you had first arrived at the Land of Departure, you had a blank, forward-facing stare, and your eyes were soulless and empty. Terra assured me that you became as you are today as you spent time on the Land, but he explained it in a way that makes me assume that he believes you just ‘got better’.” 

Using her free hand, she made quotes with her fingers in the air. 

Even though he had only really been friends with Naminé for a few days, he could tell she was in her zone with this. It was nice to see her be so passionate about something.

“Again, I refuse to believe it. In your doll-like state, I would have to guess that you were, in that moment, pure light. But that is a dangerous, harmful state to be in.”

She rested her clipboard against her chest like a shield.

“To be purified in such a way, stripped of all feeling, all thought… You had no memory, and when asked simple questions, you became overloaded. It must have felt awful. I’m very sorry you had to go through such a harrowing experience, Ven.”

A pause.

“To have a heart of only light… It’s an energy, it’s a magic, but it’s not physical. There’s nothing there, you’d be like a balloon. Completely empty, filled with nothing: A husk.”

A pain shot through his heart at a memory. Ven winced, putting a hand over it.

“I’m sorry!” She rushed over to him, putting her clipboard on top of his legs. “I got carried away. Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I just... I think…” He tugged on the confines of his mind, trying to collect the memory from where it had buried itself. “...Vanitas called me a husk, once. Maybe more than once. It just made me remember how much I m--” Ven stopped. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to start reminiscing. You can go on, um,” he scrambled to remember what she had said, “what do you think made me whole again?”

After looking him over, she sighed, picked up her clipboard again. “Yes… I believe that Aqua and Terra put darkness in your heart. Perhaps Master Eraqus, as well.”

Ven giggled, laughed, and then it became a cackle as he smacked a hand to his forehead and kicked his legs. Naminé seemed greatly taken aback, but Ven waved his hand to reassure her.

“N-no, I’m sorry! I just--” He cackled again, “sorry! I just can’t imagine what they’d say if you said that! I’m sure you’re right, but they just hate darkness so much. It feels like it’s so hard to find someone who doesn’t think darkness sucks, but maybe it’s just that I spend too much time with Aqua and Terra." 

He wiped a stray tear. "I don’t think darkness is that bad, y’know? At least, not how like a lot of the others think.”

“If it helped you become the wonderful friend I know today,” She smiled, “then darkness could not possibly be as evil as everyone says it is. We talk about how darkness can shroud your vision, but have we stopped to think on how blinding the light is? Looking at it too long… surely, it could obliterate your vision, among other important things.”

“Wow…” Ven gasped, which made Naminé giggle.

“Well, I’m able to start the scans now. I just wanted to explain all of that to you before we begin. I’m not actually sure how ‘pure’ your heart is, and I wouldn’t be able to make a guess on how long it would take since I don’t have any factual info on it.”

“Can’t be that pure.” He remarked.

She shrugged, glancing to the big screens one last time. “I guess we’ll see, won’t we? The scan will be about thirty minutes, but it might go five or so minutes over, depending on how much you confuse the scanners. Feel free to take a nap during it, alright?”

“On it!” He closed his eyes and gave her a thumbs up.

And just as soon as his arms settled on the rests, a gentle hand touched his arm and gave it a shake, rousing him from his slumber. He slowly blinked open his eyes, the lights so bright, trying to make sense of the form next to him. She looked so familiar, and he grabbed the first name that came to mind.

“...Aqua?”

Naminé squeaked in surprise, and the hand on his arm flew to cover her mouth.

His senses felt electrified all at once as the realization hit him. He flushed and held his hands up in front of him like a shield. “I-I’m sorry! I’m not--” A sharp inhale, and he winked in embarrassment, shying away from her. “I’m so sorry!”

“No, no, that was cute!” She shook her head, just as flustered as he was. “I was just surprised!” Naminé looked to force herself to relax, and folded her hands, resting them in front of her. “It’s sweet, I promise. Aqua was the one who woke you up from your long sleep, right?”

“Yeah…” Ven looked to his hands, then glanced at hers. “I think you’d like her, y’know?” Finally, he looked to her face. “I think you guys would have some pretty interesting discussions about light and darkness, among other things. Her views are so black and white because that's what Master Eraqus' views were. But who knows, maybe you could…”

She seemed to sense what he was thinking, and responded with a curt nod.

“If trying to change her mind on light and darkness is what I am tasked with… I’ll have to work on my debate skills, then. I’m sure she can hold her own.”

“She’s real smart!” Ven perked up. “She likes reading and writing, and she was the one who got me interested in space! We like to watch meteor showers and track them! Did you know that all the stars we see are different Worlds, and if we keep track of them, we can tell which ones dim, or go out! And, here's something I thought was interesting, Keyblade Wielders in the long, long past would track the stars and their brightness so that they could see when new Worlds popped up; new Worlds would glow brighter, and a World that started to dim meant it was overrun by darkness, and when it would go out, then it would be swallowed by it. Worlds that have Princesses of Heart in them will shine brighter than other Worlds, too, because the heart of the Princess and the heart of the World will resonate with the other's power. I would assume it glows even brighter if there are multiple Princesses, but I'd have to test it out."

He paused, and embarrassed at how much he had gone on and how flabbergasted Naminé looked, he folded his arms behind his head. "Each system has different Worlds, and those Worlds have different problems, but they share the same sky. When I think about it like that, it just… fills me with this big sense of wonder."

Naminé smiled softly. “I didn’t know you were so passionate about this, Ven. It's lovely, the joy and pride in your knowledge and research makes me so curious, and I want to know and understand more. You’ll have to teach me sometime, I’m not well-versed in the stars. My work is more centered on...” She tapped her chest. “what’s right with us, rather than out there.”

“I’d love to!” He wouldn’t lie; the idea of him being able to teach Naminé something she didn’t know was pretty compelling. A flicker on the rightmost big screen caught his attention, and he remembered, suddenly, where he was. “Oh, did you find anything, by the way?”

A huff, and her shoulders sagged. “No! I can’t say I didn’t expect this, but it’s still a little disappointing. However, a true scientist cannot be deterred by failure, in fact, it should inspire them for greatness! There’s always next time, and I’d love to try again.”

“Good! Can we do it soon?” He pushed himself off the chair, stretching his stiffened muscles. “This was nice. Bi-weekly sounds good to me, if you have the availab--”

“Yes!” She pulled up a determined fist, a powerful flame burning in her eyes. 

“I’d love to start whenever we can! The more we look, the surer I feel that we'll find something _incredible_.”

Just as suddenly, she cooled down. “Um, I’m surprised you want to come back, actually. I thought this would be an unpleasant experience for you.”

“Huh?” Ven was a little taken aback. “Geez, no way, Naminé. It was really relaxing, actually. I, uh, look forward to my next nap!” He chuckled.

She looked pleased with that, and after hitting a few more buttons, the screens turned off once again, and they were left with the quiet hum of the machine.

“C’mon.” She offered her hand. “I’ll walk you back out.”

\--

Days passed: roaming, and looking, and coming up empty handed at every turn. He tried to search through at least two Worlds a day, and updated Lea and Isa every time he went, fought through swarm after swarm of Heartless, and still there was nothing of Vanitas, not even a hint.

Nights were bad for him. For the first few nights, he had lied down and tried to sleep as Chirithy worked tirelessly. As the days went on, however, it became harder and harder for Chirithy to keep back the nightmares, and the nightmares became worse and worse. He began to simply lay and stare up at the stars, making up new constellations between ones he had already memorized by heart. At first, a Wayfinder, but then a star, a fox, a bird of paradise. Two nights ago, he had resigned to skipping sleep entirely, instead going to a new world and searching through the night until his legs no longer responded to his wishes, falling to the ground as sleep took him. Chirithy was always there to soften the landing, and he was thankful for it.

It seemed like working himself until he had nothing left was a good way to stop the nightmares, even if he hated pushing himself so hard. His mind was too tired to overthink, didn’t have enough energy to be fearful, and Chirithy could easily keep the nightmares at bay. Chirithy told him that’s the only reason he allowed Ven to work himself to the bone, but reminded Ven that he didn’t like it.

He was tired a lot. Tired of the sleepless nights and the images his mind created of Vanitas in pain, or alone, or sad, or some terrible, petrifying combination of the three. He couldn’t help but fear for him, for his safety and wellbeing, but he tried not to stress too much. It took too much thought away from looking, and he needed every second he had.

Lost Memory had started to stay in his grip far more than Wayward Wind did. Of course, the sharpness and power of the Key was already a bonus, but there was an added odd comfort in it’s wings and shattered heart. When sitting by the fire, sometimes he would trace the outlines and contours of his Key, admiring the scratches and cracks in it’s design. For as precise and perfect the damage on it was etched, it was quite pretty… a little sad, too. The name itself struck him as sad, but in a way that was hopeful. Something that was lost could always be found, couldn’t it?

He refused to believe otherwise.

“ _BRRRR_!” Chirithy shivered, scooting closer to Ven and pushing him out of his thoughts.

Ven smiled, pulled Chirithy into his lap. “Are you still cold? We left Arendelle hours ago.” He motioned to the endless ocean around him, the palm trees, the occasional white crab, and the golden sand.

“I’m cold!” Chirithy whined. “It’s like the cold snuck into my bones and won’t leave!”

He squished his cheek against Chirithy’s big round head.

“Oh nooo, your poor little bones,” he giggled. “Your poor, _sweet_ little baby bones.”

“They are so little, Ven! It’s very sad!” Chirithy insisted.

“I’m sure--”

Chirithy went rigid in his arms, and his ears began to move around, as if listening. Curious, Ven began to listen, too, but he couldn’t hear anything except the gentle splash of the salt water against the sand.

“It’s--” A harsh whisper, and Chirithy put his paws over his mouth in horror. “Aqua. She’s coming, there’s not enough time to hide.”

His Dream Eater hopped out of his lap and disappeared in a flip, and finally he heard the sound of Aqua’s heels against rock. Even in the twilight, she glowed a soft, light blue as she leaped, graceful and perfected across the rocks that lined the shoreline, ribbons twirling behind her as she passed their campsite, Ven still positioned in front of the fire he and Chirithy had so carefully crafted. 

She almost looked like she was dancing, her arms outstretched and her steps on a beat only she could hear. Master’s Defender sat gently in her grip, signaling that she was prepared for a surprise attack, even on this tiny island. Out of all the islands she could have searched, in this expansive world, the fact that her heart had led her to this one...

It was familiar, comforting, and nerve wracking all at once. He had been dreading seeing her in the physical, but now that she was actually here, he… He hadn’t seen her in more than a week, and when she paused to assess the ocean in front of her, wibbling a little back and forth as she muttered curses under her breath, something broke inside of Ven. Tears pooled in his eyes, and his hands digging through the sand like claws, he pushed himself up in desperation. 

“AQUAAAAAA!” He wailed, his arms outstretched towards her.

_He missed her._

_He_ **_missed_ ** _her!_

Before she turned, before she registered that someone had called her name, Master’s Defender disappeared in a flash of bright light. She glanced down, confused as to why her blade had disappeared when she had not released it, and glanced back behind her. When she saw Ven, her hands flew to her mouth and she reeled back in shock as she, too, began to cry.

“Ven…!” 

She jumped once off the rock, then again in mid air, arms outstretched.

“ **Ven**!!”

With no hesitation, he launched himself into the air and glided towards her. 

_He missed_ **_Aqua_ ** _!_

 _He missed his_ **_sister_ ** _!_

She caught him, fiercely and gently all at once as the force pushed both of them back, hurling them through the air. They paid it no mind; Aqua spun Ven around, her arms wrapping themselves around Ven’s head and cradling him as if it was the most natural thing in all the Worlds. Ven clung to her like she was a lifeline, his heart feeling so full and aching so painfully at the same time. So much emotion had welled up in his chest so fast that he thought himself to burst at any moment, and the weight of it made him sob.

“I’m sorry for hurting you, Aqua!” He choked out, “I’m sorry I ran away. I couldn’t stay there, I had to think and-- it was so intense and bad and _scary_ and I--”

Ven shook his head, taking a shaky breath in. “I don’t want to fight. I love you guys so much, I don’t want to argue, I couldn’t stop thinking about you guys I missed you so BAD I missed you so bad!!” He wailed again, not caring if he made sense or not.

“I know you want me to be safe, you do so much to keep me safe. I love you so much, Aqua, I’m so sorry. I’m so- I’m so sorry, Aqua.”

They began to slow, and Aqua floated them to the ground with the utmost care.

“Ven,” She put her hands on the sides of his face. “We missed you. We missed you so much; we love you **_so much_ ** .” She planted a soft kiss on his forehead, and as soon as he thought she had recovered, that she was handling this better than he thought she would, she began to sob again, wrapping her arms around his head once more. “I _knew_ you needed space, but I couldn’t stand having parted with you like that. I couldn’t stand the thought of hurting you, of pushing you away and making things so much worse than they need to be.”

She pulled away from him and collected his hands within her own.

“This is not my real apology, Ven, but it’s the only one I have prepared for now. I am truly, deeply sorry for the things I’ve said and done in the past month.”

He couldn’t speak anymore. All he could do was nod, trying to keep his tears back. His eyes stung so bad from the lack of sleep and now the crying, and he was too tired of it all. Of everything.

Aqua finally spotted the fire, and after standing up, grabbed Ven’s arm and helped him up. She curled an arm around his waist to support him and motioned with a nod of her head towards the far-away flames. He had rocketed them pretty far, but she didn’t seem to mind.

“C’mon, Ven.” She smiled. “Let’s head over and warm up, okay?”

The trek to the fire was harder than he wanted, but only physically. His crying and emotional response had taken what little energy he had and then some. The silence between them, though, was nice. There was nothing between them except quiet, peaceful understanding and complete, unashamed love.

Aqua set Ven down against a rock he had dragged over earlier, and placed herself next to him. Ven abandoned the rock so he could lean against Aqua, realizing just how badly had missed physical affection. It had been mere days since he had seen his friends at Radiant Garden, Twilight Town, and the Islands, but it seemed like forever ago. He clung to Chirithy often, sure; cradled him in his arms or let him curl up in his lap. It wasn’t Chirithy’s fault, but still, being the one who held, but never being held… was that ever going to be enough for him?

He was suddenly very, very sleepy.

“What…” When he spoke, Aqua looked down at him curiously. “Um… How are things… at the Land?”

“Nothing’s happened since you left.” Aqua yawned, which elected a yawn from Ven, as well. “We cancelled classes for the week, and if I hadn’t found you tonight, we would have cancelled classes for another.” She stopped, and he felt her shoulders droop. “Oh, but please, Ven, don’t feel bad about that. I wouldn’t’ve been able to concentrate on anything except my fear, and my work wouldn’t’ve gotten done.”

“It’s okay…” He wrapped his arm around Aqua’s. “I’m too sleepy to feel bad.”

Aqua let out a wince. “Oh, Ven…” She brushed a few hairs out of his eyes. “Why don’t you sleep? I’ll stay for a little bit to keep you company, if you’ll have me.”

He nodded. 

“Keep talking about… stuff… It's nice.”

Aqua let out a soft giggle. “I went to Lea first, y’know. He’s usually pretty easy to crack, I think he’s a little afraid of me? I have no idea why. His anxiety might be a little worse than mine, even. But he didn’t say a word to me until I told him I was leaving, and then it was just… ‘bye’. Isa said a few more words to me, but it wasn’t much. He did apologize for a sour introduction, though, so that means you,” she booped Ven’s nose, and he giggled, “have to introduce me again later, okay?”

He nodded again as best he could.

“I can understand why he didn’t say anything to me. He must’ve been keeping you safe.” She spoke, wistful. “It’s good that you made such wonderful friends, Ven. I’m glad that, even if you, Terra and I are fighting, that you still have people you can count on to protect you.”

He murmured something, but he didn’t know what it was. Aqua let out a happy sigh, and his consciousness drifted away.


	4. Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apologies long overdue, realizations of the self, and loved ones meeting again as Ven continues his journey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw heavy depression, anxiety, talk of suicidal ideation/violence [irt chapter 1], talk of violence towards children [y'know. eraqus and ven.], self-destructive tendencies [especially in the form of unhealthy eating], memory loss, lengthy discussion of intrusive thoughts, slight paranoia, repetition
> 
> hi again!! i hope you've all been having a good time these last few weeks! if u haven't, i hope that this is able to make your time a little brighter. i'm feeling good about this one >:]!!
> 
> \-- If you must go, I wish you love  
> You'll never walk alone; take care, my love  
> Miss you, love  
> //  
> Someday love will find you  
> Break those chains that bind you, one night will remind you  
> How we touched and went our separate ways --

_Four familiar faces, a sense of camaraderie, of leadership where there now was none. A pain in his head, something bad, but someone’s hand was on his shoulder, on his head, supporting him through the pain and hardship and confusion, and it was alright again. So many bright, white and blue stars. A fox with a book. A lion with a single eye. Darkness. Friendship; a red scarf, a hat with a feather in it, and lovely, elegant flowers behind curling green plants._

_The comforting hands turned into arms, curled him into a hug. He sank into it._

\--

When he turned and opened his eyes, the blanket on his legs slipped down and flopped onto the sand uselessly. Blanket? He didn’t have aaaooohhhh my _God_ , he had seen Aqua last night. He put a hand on his forehead, going over what he could remember of last night’s events. Aqua must have put a blanket on him before she left, then... The thought was so sweet, the leftover anxiety that clung to his heart finally let go, and he sighed in relief. 

It left him a little melancholic, though; if he had realized how desperately he wanted to see his family, then he would have just gone to see them, avoiding all the hassle and panic. They should've talked a lot sooner, and he was a little disappointed in himself for letting his fear control him so badly. He knew he shouldn't be, though. He couldn't help what he felt, or how he responded to things. He just wished he would've acted in a more productive way, but, at the very least… he could be prepared for next time! That felt like a good take-away, at the very least, so he was satisfied with that.

He gave his head a shake in an effort to get his mind cleared. Thinking was for later in the day, when thinking wasn’t such a struggle, regardless of what he was feeling. With a groan he pushed himself up, the sand giving a bit from the pressure, but not enough that it caught him off-balance. A sparkle- some ten feet away- and Chirithy bounded over, piece of paper in hand.

“Morning, Ven! How did you sleep?”

Ven considered this. How _did_ he sleep? 

“Well, I… Huh.” He didn’t recall any struggle, any fear. Only... safety.

“Chirithy, I think--" He gasped, and a grin spread itself across his face, "I had a dream?"

"You had a dream!?" Chirithy repeated, his voice drenched in disbelief.

"You gave me a dream!” Ven cooed, loudly, clasping his hands together to stop himself from picking up his Dream Eater and spinning him around.

“Yes _ssss_!!” Chirithy bounced in happiness, little squeaks sounding off every time his tiny paws hit the ground. “I can't believe I did it! What did you dream?"

"Ah… um…" Ven wracked his brain, but the dream had already faded, as they did when he woke up. "I can't remember. I… think I got hugged once? What matters most is that it happened, and I’m so proud of you, Chirithy! You did so well!”

Chirithy now swayed in place in front of Ven, and after a moment of thought, he booped his paws together sheepishly.

“Well, _really_ , Aqua was the one who made it all possible. She made you **happy** , Ven, and I couldn't have done what _I_ did without _her_ making you feel as such. Oh!” He held the piece of paper in front of him. “She left this for you, too, before she left. She requested that I give it to you when you woke up.”

When Ven took it, Chirithy wibbled. “Aqua thanked me for protecting you, too. It was so nice…” He giggled. “I can see why you like her so much, she’s a very comforting presence.”

“...‘Dear Ven,” Ven began, glancing at Chirithy to make sure he was done talking. When Chirithy gave him the go-ahead, he continued.

“...‘I’m leaving you this note so I can go tell Terra the wonderful news. Truth be told, I am almost too excited to write! I’m sorry if my lettering is a little messy because of this.’”

“Is it messy?” Chirithy asked.

Ven chuffed. “Of course not, Chirithy. I can’t even tell if it’s shaky; even when emotional, Aqua is still a perfectionist. _Unfortunately_.” He frowned for a moment, his worry for Aqua quickly starting to swirl around his head, but he collected himself just as fast. “Ah, sorry.”

He continued.

“...‘I must ask something of you, but you are more than allowed to refuse, alright? We would like to give you an apology, a real apology, and talk about things that we should have so, so long ago. We ask that you come back home, to the Land, to listen to us. I won’t rush you, and I won’t give you a time limit- Simply come when you are able, okay? I only request that you give one of us a call on your way over, so that we can meet you when you arrive. We will leave our phones loud, so don’t be a stranger, Ven.”

“...‘With unending love and devotion, Aqua.’”

“How sweet!” Chirithy purred.

“Oh, the sign-off?” Ven asked, glancing at Chirithy. “She always signs her letters like that.” He lightly touched the page, fingers tracing the letters against the smooth, pressed texture of the parchment. “I think it’s cute of her. She’s done it as long as I can remember.”

He sighed, not being able to stop the mixture of rising anxiety and excitement in his chest. Aqua… **_Terra_ **… What would they say? Would they be mad at him still? Or maybe they’d be disappointed in how dangerously he’d been handling himself. He figured, probably not, but…

“How are you feeling, Ven?” His Spirit asked, moving to be closer to him.

“I’m…” He flopped onto the sand, and a few clumps poofed out from the sudden weight. “I could sleep for another three days. Maybe longer. I actually _want_ to sleep, if you can believe it.”

Chirithy hummed. "That bad, huh? Do you wanna wait a few days before visiting the Land?”

Again, Ven sighed. “As much as I wanna put it off… I want to see them, and I don’t think I can wait... or _should_ , honestly; we saw how badly that ended last time. Now that I’ve seen Aqua, the want to see Terra is just as intense. I guess I should give them a call, huh.” He didn’t pose it as an actual question.

Chirithy stayed quiet for a few seconds, but then plopped down next to him. “Well, I guess it’s up to you. If you wanna give Aqua a call, I think that would be the best course of action to take.” He stopped. “Remember, your anxiety will just get worse the longer you wait!”

Ven smiled, but he turned, groaned for the theatrics, and placed an arm dramatically over his forehead. “Always getting on my case! I mean, you’re right, but...”

“Of course I’m right!” Chirithy pointed to his pocket. “C’mon, Ven. _What_ , are y--”

“I’m **_NOT_ ** a chicke _nnuh_!” Ven whined, sitting up and pulling out his phone with a pout. The only reply he got was a muffled giggled from Chirithy as he dialed Aqua and put the phone to his ear.

“ _H-Ven?!_ ”

“Aqua, hi!” Geez, she sounded like she had just woken up. “Uh, did I wake you?”

“Oh, um…” She went quiet for a moment. He heard the movement of fabrics, and then it was silent again. “No, I’m-I was already awake. What’s up?”

He absolutely woke her up. He glanced up, looking to the sky. The sun was so high, in fact, it was about to start it’s descent. Time was different for every World, he knew that, but this one and the Land seemed to flow at a similar pace. Aqua never slept in this late.

“Are you okay? I got your letter and was going to come back, but if you aren’t feeling okay, we don’t have to meet today.”

Rustling sounds, now loud and scratchy on the mic, and Ven pulled the phone away from his ear. He looked at Chirithy, who cocked his head in curiosity.

“No!” Aqua shouted. She collected herself with a cough, and continued in her usual tone, “I mean, uh. No, you can come over. We’ll meet you at the old training grounds, Ven.”

“Sounds like you’re raring to go.” He was worried about her, but he’d ask her when he arrived. He definitely would not forget. He _hoped_. 

Ven let out a laugh, trying to lighten her load, at least temporarily.

“If that’s the case, you’re on! See you in ten minutes or so?”

“Yes! Goodbye, Ven!” She hung up, and Ven slipped his phone into it’s usual spot.

After Chirithy picked up the blanket, Ven reeled his arm back, and in one fluid motion, he pulled Wayward Wind out of a burst of light and tossed it high into the sky, the Key leaving behind twists and curls of light as it continued to materialize in it’s ascent. His glider swerved through the sky and back towards the island, sliding to a slow stop in front of him. He aggressively bonked the button on his arm and stepped onto the glider, before tapping a small button on his helmet. His visor retreated, and he looked down at his Dream Eater.

“C’mon, Chirithy. Let’s-- Wait!”

His Spirit looked up at him, surprised.

“Oh, gosh, I have a meeting with Naminé today.” He put a hand on his forehead. “I almost forgot. Well, we’ll… we’ll see her afterwards, no matter how it goes.”

He looked down at Chirithy for support, who he nodded enthusiastically before backflipping into a poof, leaving Ven giggling as he tapped the small button again. He put a hand over his heart and quieted his mind, concentrating. He tried to remember Aqua’s words from a few months ago.

_‘And with this, Ven, you can travel the Worlds while remaining undetected. In Worlds where there are no known Wielders, it’s important to be able to summon a portal that takes you directly to space, for we must keep the order. All you have to do is…’_

With a surge in his chest as he thought of home and a flick of his wrist, a portal appeared in swirls and spins. He laughed, fist-pumping as pride swelled within him. He had done it a few times before, sure, but it took _so_ much concentration, and always felt like such a feat when he could do it. He didn’t even have to try more than once; Aqua would be really proud!

Ven took a last reminiscent glance at the ocean, one last deep breath of the clean, salty air, before revving the jets and shooting towards the portal.

\--

The descent into the Land was more welcoming than he’d imagined it to be on his return, and he was pleasantly surprised. He figured he shouldn’t be, having so many wonderfully warm memories of the World and all, but something about the Land calmed his nerves, and the nerves he’d thought he’d lost had turned out to be with him once again, keeping him strong as he made his way to the old training grounds. It was almost overwhelmingly relieving, but he’d take it-- Better than the alternative, either way. 

His thoughts started to wander.

The old training grounds were still used, of course, just not for training. They had a lot of picnics there, and it was nice to see the golden rings he’d hit so many times now glisten in the sun and lightly sway with the breeze. They weren’t supposed to hit them anymore so they could be preserved, though… 

Well, he’d be lying if he said he _hadn’t_ gone there with Sora, Roxas, and Xion and made the big circle of rings spin around over and over, as fast as possible, hitting it so hard that it was almost even with the horizon. It was like a game, and it was really fun, too, especially when Sora, Roxas, and Xion’s giggles would be so loud and erratic at 4 in the morning that he wondered if Aqua and Terra would wake up. 

But he’d never tell Aqua and Terra that. There was a rule about it and everything. It wasn’t _his_ rule, though, so he had decided to ignore it. He liked watching them spin, and liked hearing his siblings laugh, so he’d do it again in a heartbeat.

He spotted Terra and Aqua sitting on a bench by those very same rings; Aqua with a leg over her knee, hands folded atop it, and Terra with his legs pushed together and his hands folded in his lap. It was so rigid and proper, that Ven wondered if he’d picked it up from Aqua. It was a funny, heart-warming thought. Terra...

Aqua spotted Ven first, stood up and walked two steps forward. When Terra mimicked her gaze, he followed suit, clinging onto her arm with both hands and hiding behind her. The anxiety on his face was so potent that Ven felt his stomach twist and turn. What was he protecting himself from, was he worried that Ven was mad at him, just like _he_ was worried that Terra was mad at _him_ ? **_Terra..._ **

He pulled into a stop about fifteen feet in front of them and hopped off. As soon as his feet hit the ground, his armor disappeared in sparkles of light. Standing in front of them without his armor… It had been the first time he’d seen both of them since they had had their fight. Wringing his hands and retreating into his shoulders, anxiety made his heart race.

A loud, distraught noise came from Terra, and by the time Ven looked up, Terra’s body rammed into his as he wrapped his arms around Ven’s head and cried. The force knocked them back a few steps, and Ven almost lost his balance as he hurriedly wrapped his arms around Terra’s torso for support, but Terra continued to nuzzle Ven’s head, holding him steady as his words came out in blubbers that Ven couldn’t make out. 

_Terra missed him!_ He knew Terra missed him, Aqua had told him so, but feeling it like **this** was something else entirely, a whole extra beast that hit him hard with the reminder that Terra and Aqua loved him more than anything else in all the Worlds. His heart swelled again, just like it had with Aqua, and he wrapped his arms around Terra’s ribs.

_He missed Terra, too!_

**_He missed his brother, too!_ **

The emotions pushed themselves out in another wave of tears, and he clung to Terra even harder than before. His siblings being a lifeline, once again; he wondered, vaguely, if this would become a habit.

“T-Terra,” Ven sniffled, “I’m… I’m s--”

But Terra backed away, and after holding Ven’s teary face in his hands for a lingering moment, he took a knee to look up at him.

“You're not the one who needs to apologize, Ven.” Terra’s voice came out like silk. 

“That isn’t on you anymore; truthfully, it never was.”

Ven wiped his eyes on his arm, and after a loud sniff, let out a laugh.

“Huh?” He asked, a mix between a whine and a squeak.

Aqua made her way to the bench again, sitting on the rightmost spot. She patted the spot on her left, and after taking a careful glance at Terra, he walked to the bench, hand in hand with his brother. Ven positioned himself next to her, and Terra positioned himself on Ven’s left.

“Now, this isn’t our apology quite yet,” She explained, “and I’m sorry to make you wait more. But... I want to explain something. While it’s true that our _intent_ was the betterment of your life first, our lives second, we still disregarded how you felt; we disregarded how Vanitas felt, as well. Just because our intentions were good, though, doesn’t make the actions right, and doesn’t excuse them, either. If your actions hurt someone, then the original intentions don’t really matter, and they definitely don’t excuse the actions, okay?”

Terra squeezed Ven’s hand. “We had a long talk, Ven. One of the things we talked about was how something was off about Vanitas on that day. At that point, we had trusted Vanitas. We really had; we hadn’t been watching you two fight at all.”

“You hadn’t?” His shoulders drooped in disbelief. He hadn’t allowed himself to think of that day since it happened, of the pain that had long since subsided. He didn't see any point in letting himself suffer over it, especially when he had hurt Vanitas, too; he’d simply pushed it behind as he kept moving forward. 

“Nope.” Aqua shook her head with a pained smile. “We were discussing building and rebuilding plans for the Land. We thought that Vanitas wasn’t going to hurt you, we _trusted_ that, Ven. While he wasn’t always nice, he seemed to care for you a great deal, and we figured…”

She sighed. “When that had proved to be wrong… He put _three_ barriers around the two of you, Ven. He… **_mirrored_ ** what I did for the duel he and I had. But he did it thrice, because he had one end goal for your fight, and he wasn’t going to let the opportunity slip away.”

The realization hit him violently, horror twisting around his heart in a flash. Ven released Terra’s hand to place his own on the sides of his head, a motion he tried to comfort himself with. 

“ _Are you_ _sure_?” 

He whispered, almost unable to speak with the nausea that crawled up his throat.

Aqua’s mouth pulled into a thin line. “I can’t imagine it any other way, I know I have no right but…” Her voice radiated horrible understanding and pain. “I feel like I know well what he wanted. He didn’t want to be interrupted, he wanted it to be either you or him; if he could get lucky, perhaps the both of you.”

She looked away from Ven, hunching over and putting her elbows on her knees, using her hands as a visor to shield her eyes, and the emotions that bubbled out of them.

She sounded so small, her voice raised in pitch. “ _And I knew that while we were destroying the barriers._ I **knew** it.” She shook her head. 

“And--” Her voice broke. “I **_ignored it_ ** . I was so _infuriated_ at the concept of him betraying my trust, that I **_ignored_ ** what was happening right in front of me, what I saw in his _eyes_ . I pretended that it wasn’t real, and unfairly, _heinously_ , I blamed it all on him. I shouldn’t’ve been so harsh with him, Ven, he’s just a **_child_ ** . You were right, he was in so much pain, and in all sincerity, it was so _heartless_ , so **_cruel_ ** of me to do it. At that moment, my love was conditional, like you said. How could I bear to call it love, at that point?”

Ven put a hand on her leg, dipping himself into her vision. 

“You don’t have to hide your tears, Aqua.” 

She picked her head up.

“He had taken a step towards us, Ven.” She weeped, the tears cascading down her cheeks. “He wanted to try, and he showed us that every time we saw him. In spite of all of his efforts, I was so unkind. I _hurt_ him. I do get caught up in the past, but...” Aqua took a big breath in and out. “It’s not about me. I’m sorry.”

Aqua turned towards Ven, fully, and took his hand into hers.

“It all feels so horrible to admit out loud, Ven, but I don’t want to lie to you anymore, not about something that’s so important to you. For the longest time, I… I ignored how much you cared about Vanitas. I’m sure you assumed that, you’re a smart kid, you know?”

He chuckled, something twisting at the core of his heart.

“I wouldn’t say that.”

“I just-I didn’t want it to be true, Ven.” With her free hand, she gripped the ties on her corset. Her words came out in a panic. 

“I couldn’t stop thinking of the terrible things he had said and done, to me, to you, it was like an obsession, I had no control over it; then I would think of things that hadn’t happened, that were equally horrible, if not _worse_ . They were such disturbing thoughts, and they wouldn’t leave, they only faded as I tried to ignore them. Every time I looked at him, especially in the beginning, they repeated, over and over, reminding me of what happened, and then reminding me of how-- How **_lost_ ** I was in the Darkness, how _long_ it was, how unbearably _lonely_ . The thoughts weren’t Vanitas’ fault, of course, and I know that you need not forgive people who wrong you, I _know_ it isn’t required, but... “ 

Her sight casted downwards, and Aqua let out a sigh, seemingly unable to continue. 

“Aqua, that sounds so _awful_.” Ven gave her hand a light squeeze, wishing that he had tried to reach out to her more than he had. She had been suffering, just like Vanitas.

“You suffered through that, all on your own?”

She shook her head. “How could I have told anyone? It’s _shameful_ . Embarrassing. It’s not _his_ fault that I had those thoughts, it’s m--”

“Aqua,” Terra put his hands over theirs. “those thoughts you have? They are not **you** , and they are **not** your fault. They’re just thoughts. The tone of your voice, the way you hold yourself as you speak about them, Ven and I can tell that you don’t want them.” He looked to Ven for support, and Ven nodded.

“You’re a good person, Aqua. It takes a lot of strength to admit that you were wrong, and to want to correct it. It’s not something just anyone can do.”

“Terra…” She smiled at him, a few stray tears rolling down her cheeks in what was, perhaps, relief.

She turned to Ven.

“Ven, if you can forgive Vanitas, if you can move past everything and give him a second chance, a second chance that he _deserves_ , then why couldn’t I? What was stopping me from showing that same kindness to him? I can’t stop thinking about what you said, that he-if the choice had been granted to him, would he have done what he had, all those years ago?”

“Maybe you weren’t ready yet, to forgive him.” Ven suggested. “I think that kind of stuff takes time to sink in.” Vaguely, he thought of Roxas. “I know it can be hard, sometimes, to accept that you’re ready to try again with someone you used to despise, and it does take a lot of strength, Terra’s right. Aqua, a lot of the things that happened to us, Vanitas included…”

He sighed. “They weren’t our fault. We were young, we still are. All we can do now is be kind to ourselves and the people around us, and support each other as we try to heal. It might take months, it might take years, but I think if we’re together, that we can brave it.”

She let out a laugh. “You’re so… emotionally brave? Perhaps that isn’t the right term.” Gently, affectionately, Aqua rubbed his hair and pushed his head down a bit. “When you love something, or someone, you are unashamed. You dive headfirst into everything you do, and you do it with your heart opened, completely and wholly and filled with love. I’m a little jealous, actually. I let my anxiety take hold of my heart, let it freeze me solid.”

“Well--” Emotions of all kinds welled up in his heart, and he couldn’t push them down. He hugged her, then; he didn’t know what else he could do, but he wanted to hold her, have her know that he loved and cared for her, without the need for words. 

“Well, I get scared too, y’know? Sometimes I get so scared that I can’t move. I try and remember that my friends are with me, no matter what, and when someone is in danger, when they need help, I can’t just leave them like that. I have to act, even if it’s scary, or if it hurts.”

Something burned brightly in his heart, and he seized it.

“I can’t abandon people who are in need when I’m more than able to help them. Doing that isn’t even a choice-- I do it because there’s nothing else for me.”

Aqua gave his hair another affectionate rub and placed her head on top of his. “And that’s why you’re better at this than Terra and I are. We can learn a lot from you.” She grinned at Terra. “Makes you wonder who the real Master is around here, wouldn’t you say, Terra?”

Terra rubbed his baby brother’s back and joined Aqua in resting his head on Ven’s.

“I’ll say.”

Ven groaned, face heating up as he wiggled around. “Ugh, you guys!!” He couldn’t stop smiling, though, his heart feeling like it would burst from how loved he felt, how much he loved his best friends; his siblings. New tears sprang into his eyes, but they weren’t sad at all.

“It will take time to work through my own problems. I have a lot of growing to do, still.” Aqua admitted. “I’m ready now, though. Ready to give Vanitas a real and complete second chance, instead of the sorry excuse for the one that happened last time. I’m ashamed of my actions, and I’m sorry, and I’m ready to prove that I am. I won’t be making the same mistakes again.”

She took a moment to collect herself. Ven heard a clunk above him, along with an ‘ow’ from Terra, and he giggled. Terra must’ve bonked his head against the stone.

“Ven, I… I know you won’t want us to join you on your quest, but we’re here to help in any way we are able. And when _you_ bring Vanitas home,” the inflection Aqua used made him blow a raspberry in embarrassment, “and you _will_ , I’ll apologize to him, too.”

Ven could only nod. He wanted to assure Aqua that Vanitas would at least listen to her, but he didn’t know what Vanitas would do. Vanitas had been so _scared._ He didn’t know if he still was, or if he still would be when he brought him home.

“You gotta stay once a week!” Terra ordered, lightheartedly, holding his pointer finger up in front of him. “At least! I doubt you’ve been sleeping in a bed, look how dirty you are, how ripped your clothes have gotten. I cannot imagine you’re getting the rest you need to.”

“Well, I’ve been sleeping on the ground most nights.” Ven explained, and Terra made a grossed out noise. “Oh, you think it’s GROSS? Then maybe get your head off’a me!” Ven poked his stomach, trying to balance the pokes with staying still so Aqua could rest her head comfortably.

Terra scoffed and poked him back, taking the same care. “I’m going to keep laying on you even if you’re gross. You’re _comfortable_. And don’t change the subject; you have to get the best rest you can. How can you find Vanitas if you’re sleepy-tired? Think about it.”

He did. And then he stopped thinking, and began poking Terra’s stomach again.

“How has your food intake been?” Terra continued his questioning. “You have to eat enough food! You’re a growing boy!”

“Yeah, Ven.” Aqua teased. “If you’re not careful, you’ll never grow taller.”

“I don’t care about that stuff at ALL! I’m not _SORA_!” He pointed out, “but I haven’t been eating like I usually do. I’ve been busy looking, y’know? Chirithy has been giving me snacks when he can find ‘em, though, and it’s not like I don’t eat!”

“Chirithy is such a bright light in these dark and dismal times.” Terra placed a delicate wrist over his forehead. “Where would we be without his constant guidance?”

Chirithy backflipped into reality in front of them, put his tiny little paws on his hips.

“You would’ve gotten more meals if you’d gone to more Worlds that had a good source of food that I KNOW you can eat!” He chastised. “Like that last World we went to, with all the islands? The only island that had food that you could eat was the main island that YOU refused to go to!”

“I didn’t waaaaanna.” Ven whined. 

“Besides,” he challenged, “there were fish everywhere. What’s to say I can’t eat those?”

“Ven! What gives you the idea that I can cook fish!”

“I just thought you could do everything.” Ven said, in complete honesty.

“Look at my paws!” Chirithy held them out in front of him. Ven looked them over, beans and all, and nodded. Very fluffy and cute! 10 hearts out of 10.

“I could barely hold the paper Aqua gave me! I can’t cook over an open flame!”

“That sounds like a personal problem.” Aqua murmured, and Terra cackled before moving away from Ven and pushing Aqua’s head off of his.

“And, Ven,” He began, as Aqua got into a dueling stance with her fists, “you should still be attending classes, too. At least three or four times a week, no less, and no skipping, either!”

Ven began to groan, but Terra shook his head with a few clicks of the tongue, expertly sliding away from Aqua’s brutal attacks.

“No way! You have to- _wah!_ \- prepare for anything! If Vanitas is trapped, if he’s stuck, you need to make sure your strength is- _SHIT!_ \- at the best it can be, and I think we could get your jump even higher, of course, after we work on your calves.” He almost got a hit on Aqua, but she teleported behind him and roundhoused him square in the back.

“ _Oof_ !” He stumbled, and glanced to Ven. “I’m adding more onto your training, as well. Heartless will help you keep up on the field, but you need to be _strong_. I’m starting you on weight training, separate from the other students.”

“WEIGHT TRAINING?” Ven whined, slumping against the stone.

Terra took a step away from their spar and put a hand on Ven’s shoulder.

“I know this means a lot to you, and this is the best way we can help you. You have to stay on top of things, but you don’t have to do it alone.”

“You should have at least two full water bottles on you at all times.” Aqua put her hands on her hips, still catching her breath. “And if you don’t, well…” 

She smiled sweetly. 

He got her message loud and clear.

“Anyways, nevermind sleepy, if you’re dehydrated, you’ll turn into a raisin, and a lot of other nasty side effects that will feel…" She turned the thought over in her mind. "well, nasty.”

Ven let out a dreamy _hmm_. Raisins… “Raisins are delicious!”

“Oh, you’re far hungrier than I thought you’d be.” She sighed. “Yes, they are, but... they can’t go anywhere because they’re all _wrinkly_.”

Ven’s face scrunched up at the word.

She pouted, and squatting down, looked up at him with big, round eyes, fluttering her lashes innocently. “Do you want to be _wrinkly_ , Ven?” She asked, her voice shrouded in joking sympathy. “Do you want to be all gross, and also icky?”

“No. _No._ ” He shook his head aggressively. “Never. Never ever! Ew. **_Gross_ **!”

Ven made a sound of complete disgust, and Chirithy and Terra giggled.

Aqua’s expression shifted, and she studied his face for a moment. “Ven…” She started, reaching a hand towards his head. At first, he thought she was going to touch one of his scars, and at the bottom of his heart, he bristled in embarrassment. But instead of his face, her hand went to the back of his neck, where she ran her fingers over the uneven spots, her eyes making the slightest movements to look for injuries.

“Your hair in the back. It’s shorter.”

Terra sat down again, his arms wrapped casually around Chirithy, who had placed himself comfortably in Terra’s lap. “That’s why you looked so different!" He said, smiling in content. "I couldn’t place it.”

“Uh… YEAH!” He stood up and slipped past Aqua with a turn, backing up to give himself space. Lost Memory appeared as soon as he reached out, and he motioned towards it with his free hand.

“I cut it with this.”

A bit of the color in Aqua’s cheeks went away. She looked at it for a long, long moment, then sat down. “That sure is a Keyblade, isn’t it?” 

She let out a strained laugh, looking to Terra for help.

“Aw, I wouldn’t say it’s _that_ terrible. Have I not used it before?” Ven glanced between them as they filed through their memories.

“I thought I did for a bit, at least… at some point. Maybe... at the Graveyard?” 

He couldn’t really remember, but he knew he had to have used all of the Keys he had access to at least once or twice, right?

“Well…” Terra rested his head on Chirithy’s. “I’m going to go out on a limb here, and say that neither of us really think about the Graveyard unless we have to.”

“Oh… that’s fine. I like it a lot, though!” He stood up and showed it off, flourishing it with pride. “The design is really cool, and since it’s so sharp, I was able to cut my hair on my own!”

“Goodness, Ven, you have to be careful!” Aqua crossed her arms and leant back.

“You already have a bunch of scars.” She tapped her eyebrow, tilted her head towards him with a look of worry. “You should count yourself lucky you didn’t lose anything, but you shouldn’t push yourself, either! I’m worried about you.”

“Aqua…” He released Lost Memory back into his heart, or wherever Keys went when they disappeared. “You fret too much, y’know? I won’t do it again, but I’m okay, see?”

He did a little twirl, and Aqua’s stress looked to lift a bit. Even so… maybe it was just wishful thinking on his part. She still looked so unsure, but she dropped it and moved on.

“Speaking of your hair… could I fix it?” She leaned right, her lips pursing in thought, then leaned left to get a better look. “The unevenness bugs me just a bit.”

He held in a sigh; Aqua really did fret too much, it was almost silly. His hands planted themselves on his hips, and he bent forward, just a bit, an eyebrow raised. “Oh yeah?” He asked, tone teasing. “Sure, I guess I have a few hours to spare.”

With a loud groan, Aqua stood up and swiftly pulled him into a noogie.

“You are so!” She wiggled Ven around and laughter exploded out of him. 

“Silly, sometimes!!”

“Ven,” Terra’s voice stopped them, and they turned to him mid-wiggle.

“How’s the search going? Any luck yet?”

Ven grimaced, and tried to recover without too much suspicion, but they had both been staring at him. They knew.

“Um…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m looking? I look for hours on end, and I don’t even get a hint. It’s Heartless after Heartless, and that’s fine, it’s okay, I can handle myself. I just...”

He sighed, trying not to let his emotions build up too much. He’d cried so much, felt so terrible, and it’d only been a little over two weeks since Vanitas left. He’d been asleep for almost half of it, too. It felt like an eternity.

"This must be so different then when you went after Terra." Aqua mused, voice soft. "There's nothing _new_ about it, nothing fresh or exciting. The first time, it must've felt like an adventure, at least, in the beginning."

Ven put his arms behind his head, leaning to the side with a frown. She was right, it had felt like an adventure, and he still remembered a lot of it fondly. This time, though, he wasn't looking for friends, and he wasn't able to be sidetracked. He had one goal, and one goal alone.

He wondered how his 16-year-old self, fresh out of the Land, would go at the situation he’d landed himself in. Would he be viewing it through the rose-colored eyes he had back then? Or would he do something that _he_ , the Ven who existed now, hadn’t thought to try? Even though he’d been physically around for a lot longer, it’d only been a little over a year for him, and he felt so different. At the same time… he felt the same. It was weird.

“What is it you want, Ven?” Aqua asked, bringing him out of his thoughts. 

“Other than the obvious, I mean.”

“I want to see an Unversed!” He whined, words coming out in a rush. “I don’t even care which kind; Symphony Master, Mandrakes, Trinity Armor, _especially_ Floods! They could lead me to him, I know they could! Of course,” 

Ven sighed, deflating a bit. “that would be… too easy, wouldn’t it?” He kicked a pebble, watched it rocket into the grass. “It can’t be that easy. It never is.”

Aqua and Terra stayed silent. Seeing them at such a loss only hurt him more, only made the split in his heart bigger. He didn’t want to talk about this anymore, and changed the subject.

“Um… I met Naminé!” He said, and Terra perked up at her name. “She’s looking through my heart now. Well, not, like, _now_ now, but she scans it while I’m on this chair that she has, it’s pretty relaxing. We’re doing it twice a week, and I’m seeing her later today, actually!”

“Isn’t she wonderful?” Terra grinned, glancing between his friends excitedly. “She’s so smart, so skilled! She’s such a fast thinker, too! I sat in on one of their meetings, and the adults were struggling to keep up with her. She’s seventeen! It’s so incredible! I think she’s a genius! Oh, and her art’s the cutest…” He sighed, almost wistfully. “She’s made me a few pieces, and I hang them up in my room in frames to preserve them as best as I can, but I wish I could bring them with me all the time. They’re so good, they fill me with such joy…”

Aqua glanced at Ven. 

He glanced back. 

They both giggled softly, and Terra pouted.

“Wow, Terra…” Aqua sing-songed, “Do you have the adoption papers in your pocket?”

Terra blinked. “The adoption papers?” He patted his pockets, then stuck his hands in them and rummaged around. “I don’t have any papers, actually.”

“Aw, Terra!” Ven put his hands on Terra’s cheeks, who looked up with round brown eyes. “No, we mean, with how you talk about Naminé, it’s like she’s your baby sister, or something along those lines. We were teasing you because you are so, uh… ‘guardian-ly’ towards her, and it was real adorable and funny for you to be like that towards her.”

“Oh!” It took him another few seconds to process before he flushed. “Well--” He covered his face, and Aqua giggled more as Ven rested his forehead against Terra’s hands.

“I just-- I mean she’s so nice to me.” He said, muffled. “She’s a really good kid, the more time I spend with her, the more I want to see her grow and learn.”

“Oh my _God_!” Aqua wheezed, and curled her arms around his, swinging her legs with glee. “Please, you really sound like such a sweet older brother right now. This is so cute, you sound like this with Ven, too.”

“WHAT!!” Ven’s cheeks heated up; he squeaked and jumped back, which only made Aqua cackle as she swung her legs harder. 

“He does not sound like this with me! Not at all!!” He crossed his arms.

“HE **_SOOOO_ ** DOES!!” Aqua laughed, “He’s ALWAYS been so brotherly towards you, it’s so cute!!”

She leant her head on Terra’s arm, looking up at him with the most sinister smirk on her face. “It was always, ‘Aqua, Ven has come so far in his training,’ or, ‘Oh, Aqua, he’s gotten so tall,’ or better yet, ‘Aqua, do you think Ven knows how much of a sweet and loving kid he is? How kind, how happy he makes everyone around him?’ It’s so--”

Ven couldn't take the teasing any longer. He turned in a flash, squatting close to her and shushing her loudly with a finger pressed to his lips. Her giggle came out high-pitched and erratic as she started to tear up, trying in vain to push his shoulders away.

"You look so much like Master Eraqus, Ven." Terra spoke, quietly, out of the blue. Ven almost hadn't heard him, Aqua’s giggles and his shushing filling his ears, but the words made their way in-- And it made both him and Aqua freeze. Something that he would have sworn was a mix of fury and guilt burned in Aqua's eyes, until she closed them with a sigh.

“Um…” He turned to Terra, standing straight and moving away from his sister. "I… do?" Something twisted in Ven's heart. He felt a little happy at the comparison; he loved Master Eraqus. He remembered always wishing that he had been more similar, even going as far to mimic the way Eraqus wore his armor when it wasn't in use, since that seemed to be the one thing left. Aqua has picked up the Master’s mannerisms and ideals, and Terra had taken his style of dress and his humor, but… what did that leave for Ven, who had entered their dynamic so late? Nothing had ever been similar between him and his father, at least, not that he could see, and he looked so _hard_ for it. It had always been sitting in the back of his mind, but he had never seen the point in thinking about it; it just made him sad.

Not to mention how all of his feelings regarding Master Eraqus now made him distraught, ever since he tried to erase his existence. He knew the Master was sorry, and knew the paranoia that had driven him to the action wasn’t his fault, either, and even though he had already forgiven him… Processing the fact that the man he had thought of as his father for years had tried to kill him was too much. Ven remembered, clear as day, accepting that he had to die, that Master Eraqus knew best, because he always had before then, why would it stop now? If Terra hadn’t been there, hadn’t stuck up for him...? He never let himself imagine it, but sometimes he wished the Master was still here, despite everything.

Truthfully, he was still terrified of the χ-blade, of the power it held and the destruction it could bring. He knew that he still had it within him to make that horrible weapon. Why would it leave him, when he was still ‘pure’ light? The best he could do was never go to the Graveyard again, he guessed. It was the one place he would never go, no matter what. The risk was too great. 

Aqua put her fingers on his hand. "Your scars." She explained, gentle, as if sensing his discomfort. "They’re like the Master's, the exact opposite." She paused. “Almost like a mirror.”

Ven touched the scar that curled around the bottom of his jaw. "Did… Did he ever tell you guys how he got those?"

"Well…" Terra looked to a mountain in the far-off distance. "He never did with me, and when I asked, he would look so melancholic, then change the subject, but, now… I think I know how he got them, maybe who gave them, too. I think it was Master Xehanort."

"Really?" Aqua tilted her head. "How did you find out?"

"I didn't really find out through normal means. I… you know those burns on Braig's face? The loss of his eye? That was… me." 

Aqua's eyebrows went up, and Ven gasped.

Terra winced. "Y-yeah, I figured you guys would react like that… Master Xehanort had pushed me into using darkness against Braig, but it had felt wrong, in fact, it kind of hurt. At the time, I was so confused, and afterwards, I was mad at Master Xehanort, but now I just… feel so sad, I guess."

"You guess?" Ven asked.

After a moment of thought, Terra shrugged and crossed his arms over Chirithy's head again. "I guess. I have a lot of thoughts all at once, when I think about it. Sometimes I can tell, but then there are times like these, where it's too jumbled in my heart, and I can't anymore."

Ven nodded, looking towards Chirithy, but lost in his thoughts. If Master Xehanort used darkness against Master Eraqus and scarred him, and Vanitas had attacked him and scarred him? It was ironic, wasn’t it? He didn’t think of Vanitas as darkness, and he never had, but maybe...

“Oh, Ven?” Aqua waved her hand in front of him, and he blinked a few times before smiling at her.

“Yeah?”

“Mickey said you reported a lack of Heartless in the Dwarf Woodlands. Is this true?”

Ven’s mouth drew into a thin line, and he let out a _hmm_ as he recalled his visit to Disney Castle. Mickey… He hoped he was okay.

“Yep, sure is.”

She sighed and leant back, putting her arms over the back of the bench. “I wonder if it’s healing from being in darkness for so long. The lack of Heartless is strange, though. Even with a light as strong as Snow, there should still be shadow.” Aqua leant forward, then, and wrapped her hand around her chin, thumb pushing up the bottom of her jaw.

“In fact, with a light as strong as Snow, there _should_ be a darkness just as great. We fought the Unversed, but surely Heartless had occupied the World before then?”

“Well, what about Cinderella’s World?”

Terra asked, tilting his head curiously. 

“How’s she doing?”

Aqua sat up straight, cheeks dusting with color. “Cinderella?” 

She looked between Ven and Terra, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

Terra smiled, big and wide.

Chirithy nodded in understanding.

Ven didn’t get it.

“Oh my God,” Terra snickered, “did the mere sound of her name alert you when you weren’t paying attention? I asked how she’s doing and if her World is the same as Snow’s; her World was also in darkness, right?”

Aqua blushed even deeper, waving him off. “Ah, well, I was _thinking_ , Terra! I’m a Master, I have to think of the safety of all Worlds, and if there’s something amiss, it falls on my shoulders to fix the problem. It’s a heavy responsibility, and unlike _some_ people--” She pushed his head as far as her arms would let her, “--I can’t just **_shirk_ ** off the duty!”

“Well, now that you’re paying attention,” Ven folded his hands behind his back and leaned into their field of vision. 

“How is she? I know you go over there pretty often, and I haven’t seen her in so long.”

An embarrassed giggle, and Aqua put her cheeks in her hands. “She asks about you two a lot, and wants to see you both soon. She--” Aqua let out a _hmmm_ , and her sight fluttered to Ven. “she was very excited at the concept of seeing you, uh, normal-sized? I asked for clarification, and she said you used to be small, like a mouse. Now, I just **_assumed_ ** it was a height joke, because you have grown a little bit already, but Cinderella doesn’t usually make jokes of that nature, so I was confused. Do you think you could tell me what she meant by that, please?”

Ven shook his head. “No, she’s right, I was actually the size of a mouse. Did you guys meet Jaq? I was his size every time I went to the Castle of Dreams.”

Aqua and Terra stared at him for a long, long time, then at each other, and again at Ven.

“I-Is that weird?” Ven’s cheeks heated up. “Were... you guys _not_ the size of mice?”

“We were not,” Terra said, “ever, the size of mice.”

“Oh...”

Ven looked to the ground, his face pulled together as he mulled it over.

“Well, that’s a little weird, I guess.”

Aqua shook her head.

“That’s not completely true, Terra. I was the size of a mouse for five minutes or so. Fairy Godmother said I had to be, for our plan to work. It wasn’t that bad, just... strange.”

“...Fairy Godmother?” Ven asked.

Terra and Aqua seemed taken aback by that. Terra put his chin in the curve between his index finger and thumb, eyes squinting.

“You’ve never met her?”

“Nope, not once. Why do you guys look so shocked at that?”

There had been lots of people that they’d met on their travels, and some that only one or two of them had met. He couldn’t guess what was so odd about this one.

Aqua rubbed Chirithy’s head.

“She appears to people who… What were her words... ‘Believe that dreams come true’, I think.” She looked at Ven with a smile. “I know you believe dreams come true, Ven! I’m sure you have lots and lots of dreams, right?”

“Yeah!” Terra nodded. “Like, to become a Master, like Aqua and I. That’s your big dream, right?”

“Uhh…” Ven looked to Chirithy for help, but Chirithy’s gaze only held concern for his growing anxiety. He looked back between Terra and Aqua. “I… sure?”

Aqua’s smile was sympathetic. “You probably just missed her. I wouldn’t worry too much about it, you’ll get to see her whenever we visit together, alright?”

He let out an uneasy chuckle. “Yep! Can’t wait, I love making new friends!”

“She’ll love you.” Terra practically purred, rubbing his cheek into Chirithy’s fuzzy head. “You walk into a room and people are drawn to you like a magnet.”

“Wait, Terra, be quiet for a second.” Aqua stood up and took Ven’s hands. “Why don’t we cut your hair now, since we’re just visiting anyways? We can do it on the grass!”

“S--” He stopped, then, remembering his room. “Ah, wait. I have to grab something in my room, I’ll be just a second!”

As he turned, Chirithy hopped off of Terra’s lap, much to Terra’s dismay.

“Be quick,” He whined, slumping over on the now empty bench. “And you have to sleep here tonight. No exceptions, I mean it, Ven.”

“Sure, no problem!”

Chirithy backflipped into his usual poof as he began to jog back to his room.

“Wait, Ven!”

With Aqua’s call, he stopped and turned. Lightly, she grabbed his shoulders and planted a kiss on his forehead.

“...Aqua?” An eyebrow raised with a tilt of his head, he looked up at her.

“I’m glad my heart pointed me towards yours last night,” She put his cheek in her hand. “and I’m glad that I followed it. Something about that World…” 

Aqua gave his head a rub. “Perhaps it was a trick of the light, so deep into space, but it seemed so bright, so full of life, like it was beckoning me towards it.”

Ven nodded, maybe a little more vigorously than he should’ve. “That’s probably what it was, that galaxy tends to be brighter than the others.” He continued his musings aloud, “I mean, it seemed pretty bright when I was heading towards it. Anyways, I’m just… thankful, y’know?”

He took her hand in both of his. “I’m thankful you found me, and that you followed your heart. I really needed to see you and Terra, and I just wish that I would’ve realized it before then.”

He let out a huff. “It would have saved me a lot of grief, that’s for sure.”

“Ven…” Thoughts seemed to swirl in her head, but she replaced them with a small smile. She planted another kiss and rubbed his head again. “I know it was a while ago, but… I made a mistake in Radiant Garden, when I told you to go home on your own. You’re not safer by yourself, I feel like that’s been proven time and time again. You’re safer with us, or at least, with friends who can watch your back; they’re safer when you watch their back, too. There’s a powerful, unyielding strength in love, and as long as you have your friends, I know you’ll be okay.”

His heart felt like a fire, warm and flickering, raising high into the sky on a cool summer’s night. “I think so, too. Thank you, Aqua.” Letting go of her hands, he started to turn, but gasped and grabbed them again.

“I love you!!” Ven gave her hands a little rattle of excitement as he bounced himself on the balls of his feet, grin wide on his face.

Aqua giggled, then, and the smile on her face made the fire in his heart burn ever brighter, even bigger. “I love you, too, Ven. Be careful, okay?”

“Always try!”

The run to his room was fast: he’d done it hundreds, if not thousands of times. The wind on his face and arms always felt nice, and with how green everything smelled, Terra must have _just_ weeded and pruned. Actually, if he was as anxious as he had been when Ven arrived, he had most assuredly done just that. Ven knew it calmed him, and as he went about all of the flowers on the Land with a soft, understanding look on his face… It calmed Ven, too.

Ven didn’t bother running up any stairs, choosing instead to launch himself up into the air with an Aero from his shoes to get to his room faster. He figured, if Aqua and Terra weren’t here, they didn’t have to know, and they _especially_ didn’t have to know that he did it every time they weren’t around. The walls in the Land were really sturdy, and every time he would run to his room, shoes pounding against the floors, he would wonder if they had been built to be magic resistant. Sometimes he just wondered who built his home in the first place, but it’s not like he’d ever find out. Whoever did it was probably really old, if they were even still around anymore.

He slid into his room and almost crashed into his bed, but he recovered quickly. A once-over: the books, the papers, just as he’d left it-- And how badly he had missed it the comfort of his own space, one that he had so carefully crafted. 

Ven slipped his hand under a grouping of vines near his door, inspecting the stems. “Terra watered them!” He exclaimed, moving to another plant with big, swooping leaves and a big yellow flower. “None of them died, Chirithy!”

“Of course he did.” Chirithy’s voice sounded before he heard his bed shift with sudden weight. “You know how he is, I don’t think he’d ever let a plant die.”

“Lucky for me, then!” He giggled, moving to the next plant. Spotting it immediately against the bright, jungle greens, he picked a leaf that was starting to brown and walked over to his window. Leaning over his Spirit and with an extension of his hand, he let the breeze carry the leaf out and away, over the courtyard and down below.

“Soooo…” Chirithy patted Ven’s chest, grabbing his attention. “what was so urgent about coming to your room?”

“I told you!” He gave a quick peck to Chirithy’s head, and then slipped down onto the floor, laying on his stomach. “I had to grab something in my room. It’s under my bed, uhh…” He squinted his eyes against the dark before getting bored and reaching his arm under, feeling around blindly. A crinkle of noise as something smooth touched his hand, and he gasped, grin already working it’s way across his face. He pulled it out and cradled it gently in his hands, as if the most precious thing in the world, and stood up.

Something, a hand-and-a-half tall and one wide, wrapped quite terribly in black wrapping. The paper had been placed under whatever it contained and pulled around it, tied at the very top with an otherwise striking ribbon, fading from a rich red to a deep, dark blue. All Ven could do was smile softly at the present, his heart bubbling with something he couldn’t name. He figured it would still be here, and he was so, so happy it was, but there was always that inkling of doubt. He was glad he kept believing, he liked to think that it helped the gift’s chances of survival.

“What’s inside?” Chirithy asked.

Ven put a finger to his lips, smiling coyly.

“It’s a surprise!” He whispered. At a normal volume, he continued.

“You’ll see it when I give it to Vanitas.”

“Oh… your present to him?”

“Yeah.” He let out a sigh.

“...Well, what stopped you from giving it to him before?”

An innocent question, but it made him sad. After hesitating for a long, drawn out moment, he sighed again and placed it on his desk, his fingers lingering on the ribbon before fully releasing it.

“It never felt right. Once we started training, he didn’t want to hang out casually anymore, and he would leave right after we stopped, every time.” A bitter laugh escaped his chest, and his smile became pained. “You know, sometimes I wondered if he was just sick of--” He stopped himself.

“Ah, nevermind. There was never a chance to hand it to him, at least, never one that felt right. I probably should have just told him that I had it, or handed it to him, but I didn’t think he’d open it in front of Terra and Aqua, and I wanted to watch him open it. I worked so hard on it for months, and I wanted to see what he thought.”

Ven’s throat clenched at the past tense, and his heart rate quickened. “I will see.” He corrected, letting out a breath in an attempt to calm himself. “I will see what he thinks of it when he opens it. I, um…”

With his trailing off, Chirithy tilted his head.

“Ven?”

He looked around his room, his movements urgent, before pulling out the chair under his desk. There, near the back of the wall, sat a sturdy, medium-sized leather bag. He reached down and pulled it out before finally placing it, gentle as could be, next to Vanitas’ gift.

“I left before I could grab it, but I came back here to correct that mistake.”

Chirithy purred. “That’s really sweet.”

Ven nodded curtly. “I wanna carry it with me, like how I carry him in my heart.” As his cheeks heated up, he rubbed the back of his neck with a wink of his eye. “Or, something like that, I suppose.”

“I mean, you did actually carry him in your heart.” Chirithy mused aloud, tapping his fuzzy cheek.

Ven rolled his eyes and put a hand on his hip. “So you’re gonna go and rub my pretty words into the ground, on the only basis of ‘that’s just what happened’?” He sighed, and threw an accusatory glare at his friend. “You can be so _cruel_ sometimes, Chirithy. No respect for my creative pursuits, and not a single poetic or artistic bone in your body.”

Chirithy giggled.

“You say that like you have one in yours. We both know Vanitas took that from you.”

Ven picked up his Dream Eater under the arms, spinning him around fast and fluid.

“Vanitas never took a single bone from me!”

“That you know of!”

Ven lowed Chirithy to his eye level. 

“Well, geez,” he said, “don’t just allude to violence in a vague manner like that. Besides, if he wanted a bone from me, he could have just asked. I would’ve given him one.”

“And where’s the victory in that?” Chirithy asked.

Ven’s only reply was spinning Chirithy around again, even faster than before, as Chirithy wailed in surprise.

\--

It didn’t take long for Aqua to clean his hair up, which he expected. The ‘hours’ was a joke, she had always been fast and efficient. After cleaning up, he was off to Radiant Garden: to Naminé. 

She was waiting outside the castle for him, and as soon as his glider hit the ground, he launched himself off, and the dissipating light pushed around him and made him look like a beam as he ran up to her, taking her hands in his and jumping up and down in excitement.

“Naminé! Naminé! I’m so glad to see you! Can I hug you?”

“ _Huh?_ ” She grinned at him, happy but confused.

“Terra and Aqua apologized to me!! And w--”

Naminé closed the gap between them, holding him tightly, and he sighed into her embrace. Then, as she pulled away, he grabbed her hands and spun her around, fast as the wind. Giggles filled the air, her dangle earrings glistening with the light they gave off, the light bouncing off her blonde hair. As they slowed, she had to grab his arms so she didn’t fall over, dizzy as she was. He held on tight, cheeks hurting from all the smiling he was doing.

Ven talked her ear off about everything that had happened as they walked, hand in hand, to their lab, going into extra detail about how Terra had gushed over her, much to her complete embarrassment. As he hopped on the chair, she stopped him.

“Wait, did you tell Lea and Isa?” She asked.

“Why would I t--” He grimaced, “Oh my God, I need to text them. Hold on!”

He pulled out his gummiphone and sent their group a very quick, ‘A and T apologized and we’re cool now! Love u guys! <33333 Will text after my visit with Naminé!’ before slipping it back into his pocket.

Naminé gave a soft pat to his arm as he closed his eyes and began to settle.

“Sleep well, Ven.”

He heard her walk away, but his mind began to stir as he looked around at the darkness behind his eyes. Horrid thoughts of Vanitas in pain plagued him again, and he tried to remember what Aqua had done to combat hers. Ignore them until they go away, right? He tried, but they only got louder, more ferocious, until he couldn’t ignore them anymore. Why now, of all times? He tried to focus on the hum of the machines again, hoping that that would--

A soft hum reached his ears, gentle and calming. The sliding of shoes on the clean floors, and the humming grew louder. His attention fixated itself naturally. Naminé? Was she dancing to her humming? Something about it was so precious, and he felt bad, like he was spying on her, but he didn’t want to interrupt her. She sounded so content; more than that, she sounded at peace.

Her movements stopped, and the humming turned into something more, and he swore he could hear music swell from nothingness into beautiful, vibrant sound.

“ _All those days, watching from the windows. All those years, outside, looking in. All that time, never even knowing just how blind I’ve been..._ ”

She sang without fear or hesitance, the notes filling the room, resonating sweetly.

_“Now I’m here, blinking in the starlight. Now I’m here, suddenly, I see.”_

Ven opened a single eye, trying to see what Naminé was doing.

_“Standing here, it’s all so clear: I’m where I’m meant to be.”_

The whites of his eyes grew as his jaw dropped. The glow of the monitors behind her in the dim room made her look almost like a shining star, shooting through space, the music building as she seemed to glow ever brighter.

_“And at last I see the light, and it’s like, the fog has lifted.”_

Naminé began to spin again, eyes closed as she hugged her clipboard close.

_“And at last, I see the light, and it’s like, the sky is new.”_

She stopped, her back facing Ven once again as her lab coat twirled around her legs.

 _“And it’s warm, and real, and bright, and the world has, somehow…_ _shifted_ _.”_

Her shoulders dropped, and just as fast, her head tilted up.

_“All at once, everything looks different,”_

She reached a hand up to the monitor,

_“now, that I,”_

And she placed her hands, delicately, over her own reflected cheek.

 _“see_ _you_ _.”_

Tears welled up in his eyes, Ven blinked them away. She began to hum again, swaying back and forth as she brought her hand back to her clipboard, watching the data on the screen. He closed his eyes, then; this wasn’t his scene to witness, and her privacy was more important than his curiosity. With her soft humming, it was easy to drift into a deep sleep.

“Ven? Ven, it’s time to wake up.” Naminé’s delicate shaking roused him from sleep, and with a yawn and a stretch, he pushed himself up straighter.

“Only light again, I’m afraid.” The smile she offered was apologetic. “We might be looking around for a long, long time. Hopefully not too long, but…” She huffed, and glanced at her clipboard. “There’s not a trace of darkness anywhere! There’s few people who have such a lack of darkness, Ven.”

“It’s okay!” Ven let out a pleasant hum. “Your singing helped me relax a lot.”

“Y-” Her throat made a noise, and her cheeks turned dark. “You _heard_ me?”

“Oh, I--” Ven flushed and looked at his hands. “I, um, well you were singing and dancing and I opened my eyes for a little bit--”

“Oh, no _oooo_ **_oo_ ** !” Naminé covered her face with her clipboard, hiding herself from Ven. “I’m so sorry, you must have _hated_ it--”

“ **_What?!_ **” Ven tugged her clipboard down until he could see her eyes. “Naminé, it was one of the nicest things I’ve ever heard. You were like… um, what’s a good description…” He tried to search his brain for something.

“...A bird…?” She suggested, softly, her eyes distant.

“Nah, more like, a flute! Maybe?”

“A flute?” She seemed surprised, and her clipboard sunk farther down her face.

“Really?”

He nodded enthusiastically. “It’s soft but powerful! Like a flute!”

“Huh…” She held her clipboard to her chest, and a smile grew as she processed what he said. “That sounds... kind of nice, actually. Oh, um, can our appointments be an hour, also?”

That had come out of left field. “Uh _hh_.” He frowned. Thirty more minutes not looking for Vanitas? Was that a risk he was willing to take? Every minute he didn’t look for Vanitas was another minute that he could be in danger, but he could already hear Terra and Aqua yelling at him for not getting enough rest; Chirithy, too.

He sighed. “Sure, Naminé.”

He hopped off of the chair and began to walk out. Naminé put a hand on his shoulder.

“And… Ven?”

Wordlessly, Ven glanced back towards her.

“For some reason,” she continued, “I-I get this awful sense of doom, when I wonder what’s to come.”

He winced. “W-well, that’s a little--”

“I am a child born of darkness,” she explained, putting a hand on her chest, over her heart. “There’s something I didn’t tell you at first, half because I was trying to ignore it, and half because I didn’t want to freak you out or intimidate you, but I was drawn to your light, Ven: almost inexplicably. It’s like your light… called out to me, beckoned me towards you.”

Ven wasn’t sure he fully understood, but he nodded.

She took in a shaky breath and continued.

“Darkness and light cannot exist without each other, and those of us who are born unto darkness will spend their whole lives desperately grabbing for it.” 

He finally turned around and took her hands in his. "...Naminé?"

She sounded so lost and sad, and it made his heart hurt. He couldn’t imagine how she must feel, thinking this way.

She searched his eyes, the movements subtle, looking for a hint of something. Whatever it was, Ven wasn’t sure, but then she closed her eyes.

“People who are the same as I, or who are almost fully devoid of light, will seek out yours, to warm themselves… Or perhaps some, still, who simply want the Light for themselves, to use it for their own purposes. While some, like I and so many you have met will be friends, not all of them will be.” A pause. 

“You have so many people who love you, Ven, who care for you so intensely. I can see it shining in your heart, and I saw it shining in Terra’s even when he wasn’t thinking of you. Your heart cannot go through any more stress, any more traumatic events like it has so many times in the past. I don’t mean to fill you with fear, I--”

She shook her head.

“ _Please_ , just… be careful.”

\--

30 days came and went, and on the next, Roxas called and demanded a schedule from Ven. He gave it willingly, a smile on his face.

Look, train, look, sleep. 

Look, train, look, sleep. 

Look, Naminé, look, sleep.

Look, train, look, sleep. 

Look, Naminé, look, sleep. 

Look, train, look, sleep. 

Look all day, sleep.

“Good, am I right, Rox?” Ven asked, cradling the phone between his ear and shoulder as he sat on the edge of a bridge overlooking a big, cyan lake. Most of the residents hadn’t woken up yet, and the gates weren’t opened, so he figured a call on his phone was fine. The order could be damned when it came to his family, anyways.

“I’ve been in a pretty great swing with her; she fit into my life perfectly.”

“Oh, so you can spend time with **her** and your big siblings, but not **us** ? It’ll be an **actually** good schedule once you make room for me, Xi, and Sora!” Roxas groaned, making Ven pull the phone away from his ear as he laughed at his brother’s expense. “Spend some time with someone other than Aqua, Terra, and Naminé! Maybe then I won’t **get** you!”

“Sure, sure.” Ven laughed again, brushing the back of his neck as a leaf landed on it. Roxas said a quick goodbye as he had to get started with his training at the Land, and it left Ven with the quiet of the lake at dawn.

He did spend time with people other than Aqua, Terra, and Naminé! Sure, he sometimes saw his friends during training, but he had seen other people more than that. 

He had seen Xion a few times, usually leaving Radiant Garden when he got there early. She always gave him a hug and a squeeze of a hand, warning him of Rox’s growing loneliness. He assured her that he picked up his calls, answered all his texts! And he was sure he’d see Roxas soon, it’s not like he was an easy presence to miss, and he’d never run away from his friends again. He just needed to run into him, and then Roxas would get 30 minutes, just like everyone else did.

He knew they understood, but he knew nobody liked that amount of time, either. Ven would always assure that once he found Vanitas, it would be longer, and Vanitas would be there, too, so it would be even better!

He saw Riku even more than Xion, but Riku was almost _too_ respectful of his time. Even if he wanted Riku to stay around longer than ten minutes, he would always find some excuse to leave early, and sometimes the excuses didn’t make any sense at all. After Riku left early the fifth time, Ven wondered out loud if Riku just didn’t like him. Chirithy hurriedly assured him that Riku liked him a lot, and that he just had Master work and didn’t want to keep Ven. He had to trust his Spirit, but he knew he should just ask some time. It wouldn’t hurt.

And he did, on the sixth visit. Riku apologized profusely, and confirmed that Chirithy had been right. He promised that he would love to have Ven join him on a mission someday, when he could find the time. If not alone, then it would be an honor to have Vanitas join, too! Ven was such a strong, capable, warm person, and Riku assured him that he enjoyed the time they spent together. 

Ven still regretted the embarrassing laugh he had made when Riku had said that, and Chirithy wouldn’t let it go. It was abysmal.

But then Riku wished him the best and went on his way, and every time he saw Riku after, Riku would always have a cookie for Ven, each time a different flavor. His heart bubbled. 

He saw Kairi the most, almost more than Riku and Xion combined, and he got a read of her personality fairly early. She was intelligent, just as much as Naminé, and in an entirely unique way; an excellent strategist, able to read people easily, with a fascinatingly sharp wit. As endless as her kindness was, she was so snarky, sometimes bordering on mean, in an endearing way of course. Most importantly, her bravery was endless, and her belief in her friends and ultimately, herself, was unwavering. Ven considered himself the luckiest person in all the Worlds that they crossed paths so frequently.

She was always running about when they met, always so busy, never disclosing why. Probably something important for some training Aqua was having her doing, but Kairi would always be so cagey about it, and it made him wonder if he was assuming wrong. She would say that it was urgent, and he would agree that his looking for Vanitas was urgent as well, and then something strange would happen.

They would sit and talk for an hour, sometimes more. Something in Ven kept him locked onto Kairi, and he could only guess that she felt the same, as they both lost track of time each visit. They tended to talk about their friends, Kairi frequently mentioning an ‘Olette’ and a ‘Selphie’, both who she spoke fondly of. Ven recognized Olette from Roxas, but this was the first time he’d heard of Selphie. Kairi was surprised at this, saying that she, Sora, and Riku, grew up together with Selphie, but then guessed that the chance to talk about them never came up. With a roll of her eyes and a smirk, Kairi would add that Sora never stopped holding onto Selphie when they hung out, and he never shut up about everything they would do together, and she was almost jealous.

“Of… _Sora_?” Ven asked, perplexed at the notion.

Kairi changed the subject onto stargazing instead. 

Sometimes, when Sora came up, she would rag on Ven for making him feel sad and lonely, but in a very subtle way, much nicer than anyone else had ever ragged on him before, especially considering how intense Roxas was.

When Ven mentioned this to Xion on one of their quick passing, Xion put her hands in her pockets and nodded, slowly at first, looking to reason something with herself.

“That’s interesting.” She commented, absentmindedly.

“What do you mean by that?”

Xion changed the subject onto beating Roxas at a sea-salt ice cream contest, wiping the floor with him effortlessly, and they laughed over it. When he went in to see Naminé, they laughed over it, too.

He put his hands into his lap, swinging his legs over the edge. He was fortunate that everything was going so smoothly. Now, if he could just find his brother--

“ **_VEN????_ **”

Ven looked to his left, and there Sora stood, hand in hand with Kairi. Both of them looked practically appalled before Sora let go of Kairi’s hand and pushed himself against the wall of the bridge, a jewel-tone blue glow wrapping around him like a flame on a candle wick. Like lightning, Sora shot from wall to wall, before landing into Ven, wrapping his arms around his middle, and tugging the both of them, Sora first, onto the bridge. Sora let out a graceless ‘ _OOF_ ’ as Ven landed on him, before rolling over and flopping Ven onto his side.

“Sora?!” Ven asked, loud as he pushed himself onto his knees.

“ **_Sora_ **!!” Kairi ran towards the two of them, hands on her head.

“What are you doing, Sora?” She berated, squatting down beside him. “That was so reckless, you could have hurt Ven, you definitely hurt yourself!” 

She turned to Ven, dazzling him with a smile and a wave. “Hey, Ven.” 

She turned back to Sora, resuming her earlier position of hands-on-head.

“What was that **_for_ **, anyways? You could wake up the sleeping residents, why are you like this?”

Sora flopped his torso onto Ven’s outstretched legs and turned so he was looking up at Ven. Tears filled up his eyes and waterfalled down his cheeks as he smiled so big and genuine that Ven couldn’t help doing the same. He grabbed Ven’s cheeks and squished them.

“I **love** you, Ven! I missed you so much, and I **love** you!”

“Sora, I love you, too, so much.” He squished Sora’s cheeks back.

Kairi put a hand on Ven’s shoulder, and they both jumped from the spark.

“ **Ah** \--!” Her cheeks darkened, and it occurred to Ven that he’d never seen her blush before. “Sorry, I forgot, I--” She looked up at the gates, and just as quickly, she was collected again. “Nevermind. Come on, you guys can have your reunion in the woods, and you can be as loud as your hearts desire.”

Once in the woods, Ven and Sora spun each other around over and over until both of them flopped onto the field of flowers at their feet, the world spinning. Ven recovered before Sora, and crawled over, looking down at Sora with a grin. God, he really had missed him. Sora was so silly and fun, and Ven had had such a lack of both of those in the past two months.

“It’s really good that _you’re_ here, actually.” Kairi said, upon the rock where she sat, some ten feet away. “Like, specifically **_you_ **.”

“Uh…” Ven looked over at her, cocking his head to the side. “Why _me_ , specifically?”

“Booo _ooop_!”

Sora booped Ven’s nose and let out a quiet, playful laugh. Ven’s grin was minacious as he grabbed Sora’s face with his entire hand and wiggled him around ferociously. Sora erupted into giggles as dandelions they had disrupted, turned to seed, floated up into the sky. 

“I need you to watch Sora, I’m going back to the Islands to help Selphie.” She rolled her eyes. “She’s been doing some odd jobs, and one of the ones she took on was fruit delivery for different restaurants. The only thing is, it was a bigger task than she expected it to be, and some of the businesses didn’t give her an accurate number by accident. She’s getting paid more, but that’s if she can even do it in time.” She stopped. “She can, of course, because Olette and I are going to be helping her. Olette’s already on her way, but I need to meet up with them. I was going to drop Sora off back home on my way in, but he didn’t want to leave. Now that you’re here, though…”

Ven let go of Sora’s face and turned to Kairi, giving her his complete attention.

“But, _me_ , Kairi? I know how you feel about…” He trailed off, then sighed “It just seems like so much trust to place in me, and I’m just... confused, I guess.”

Sora curled his arms around Ven’s arms as Kairi began to speak, a loving smile on her face. “I trust you with everything I have, Ven. I know you’ll keep him safe. In fact, I have no doubt in my mind that you will. So, you’ll do it, then?”

Ven was speechless, but he nodded.

She giggled, and walked over to them. She gave Sora a kiss on his head and they bumped their first together, making a weird noise as they parted. Then, Kairi gave Ven a hug so big and strong and loving, and he hugged her back the same.

“Stay safe,” she whispered as she let go, giving one last wave to Sora before summoning a portal with ease and heading into it.

Ven’s heart and stomach were full of butterflies, and he rested a cheek in his hand. In a Kairi-induced daze, his head spun a bit. Kairi was sooo…

As soon as the noise from the portal disappeared, Sora grabbed Ven’s hand and stood up, pulling him abruptly out of his daze.

“Let’s sneak off, you and me! Let’s go look for Vanitas while she’s gone!”

“S-Sora…” Ven’s heart ached for his brother, for the unmistakable spark in his eye.

But Ven couldn’t let him.

“We can’t, not this time, little buddy. If we do look, it can _only_ be in Corona.” He grimaced, guilt splitting his heart. “I’m sorry, Sora.”

Sora’s expression broke, and everything in him sank to the ground.

“ _Why_?” He asked, and it was so sad and so hurt that all Ven could do was wrap his arms around his head and hold his brother.

“You _know_ why, Sora, and you _know_ I hate it just as much as Roxas and Xion do. Besides, Kairi just put such a **crazy** amount of trust in me. I can’t break it immediately; I can’t break it at all.” His hold tightened. “I just can’t, and I’m sorry.”

Sora pulled away and grabbed Ven’s hands again. “But Vanitas is **OUR** brother, Ven! I should look for him, too!” He argued, _pleaded_ . “Do you remember, Ven, what _he_ said to us? If you can’t, I’ll remind you right now! ‘We are brothers who, together, make a greater whole.’ _He_ said that! _He_ meant it! And it _meant_ something to _me_!”

Ven squeezed Sora’s hands. “One day. One day, you can come with me, I’ll do everything I can to make it happen. I don’t know when it will be, but we’ll look for our brother together, okay? But it can’t be now. All I can promise is that I’ll do everything I can to make it better.”

Hope began to break through the sorrow in Sora’s eyes, and he nodded.

“...Okay.”

Perking up, he spoke as he crawled over to the rock Kairi had been sitting on.

“And in celebration of you and me looking for Vanitas and finding him soon, let’s have some paopu juice!”

“Oh, paopus?” The Wayfinders Aqua made, the star-shaped fruit she talked about, that other people had mentioned in legends and gossip... 

“Kairi has mentioned them a few times, isn’t that the charm on Destiny’s Embrace?”

“Sure!” As soon as Sora reached the rock, he began to look around it.

Ven wiggled his feet. “Since you probably have experience, y’know, living on the Islands and all… are they any good?”

“Oh, yeah! Of course there’s the legend about ‘em, but they’re real sweet besides that.” 

Spotting something, Sora grabbed for it, and pulled a big pink bag from behind the rock. It was pink, covered in frills and bows of all shapes, sizes, and shades; of pink, naturally. It was almost _too_ gaudy, and he loved it. He loved how obnoxious it looked, and knew without an inch of doubt that this was Kairi’s bag; it must be, with how cute it was. Roxas said she was a natural trend-setter.

Sora pulled out two bottles of a yellow-orange juice from the bag and handed one to Ven with a smile. “Try it!”

He took what was handed to him with a ‘thank you’, taking a big swig.

And Ven fell in love instantly, as if it was the easiest thing to do.

“Is there--” He stopped to take another drink, and Sora laughed at the movement, throwing his head back and putting a hand on his forehead. Ven wiped the bottom of his palm against his mouth and smiled, holding up the bottle.

“Can I have this? And tell me where you got it!”

“Sure, I have more bottles! And, uh, I made it, **_duh_ **.” Sora took a small sip of his own, and almost spit it out when he saw Ven’s expression. “I learned how to make juice as a hobby! That poor excuse for paopu juice they sell in stores? Awful!” He crossed his arms in an ‘x’. “It’s so weird and artificial,” he put a thumb to his chest in a vaunty, prideful manner. 

“and they can’t make it like I can: my _mommas_ taught me!”

“Aw…” Ven cooed, “That’s so sweet, Sora.”

Sora waved him off. “Well, I’m thinking of selling ‘em, maybe? I don’t know yet, I mean, you like ‘em a lot, and Kairi and Riku do, too! I haven’t had the chance to let anyone else taste it, but, if you like it so much, then… Gosh, I guess it could do pretty well!”

“God, I’ll say. Do you have more?” Ven asked, giving Sora his empty bottle. Sora rummaged around the bag and handed him another, and Ven cracked it open.

“Of course,” Sora continued, watching Ven drink, “I’ll have to have Riku or Kairi help me with the business side of things. I’m not, uh… the best at that.”

Ven nodded.

“But I’m more confident now than I’ve ever been!” Sora held his determined fists in front of him, and Ven could practically see the stars in his eyes. 

“Oh!” He looked down, back to Ven. “I’ll make sure to send some to the Land so that Aqua and Terra can have some, and whenever you’re over there, you can have some, too, okay?”

Ven was so happy, he thought he might start crying. “Thank you. Thank you so much. Sora, did you know I love you dearly?”

“How could you not, when I am so generous and loving towards you?”

Sora joked with a roll of his eyes.

Ven shook his head and playfully glared at his brother.

“That better not be a joke, lil’ buddy. It can’t be a joke, because you simply are. Don’t forget,” he added, smirking as he raised his bottle to take another drink. 

“ _you_ were my second chance.”

Sora blew a raspberry and threw Ven’s empty container at him, flushing. 

“Don’t get all mushy over **_JUICE_ **!” He whined.

Ven caught the container and threw it back twice as hard. After finishing his juice, he stood up and stretched. “Come on, let’s go look around Corona.” 

He extended his hand out to Sora, who had picked up the empty bottle, and couldn’t help but smile as Sora gasped. 

“And you gotta tell me about your big business plans. I wanna hear it _all_.”

\----

\----

\----

\----

it’s been a few days since i wrote you last.

sorry about that, i’ll pay more attention to the time from now on.

i’ve been pretty busy, the books you sent keep me occupied far more than i thought they would. like i’ve only gone through two of them. training every hour of each day for as long as i did, i never thought that the world was as big and as full as it is, it’s kind of fascinating. i know you said you didn’t go to school either [which i find really hard to believe but oook :/] but i have to wonder if they teach this kinda shit there? i wish they did, at least.

for instance, here’s an excerpt from the book on the bodies of water in corona, and you better be floored by this, because i know i’m not a big smarty pants like you are, but this is fucking crazy. absolutely insane. i think you’ll love it <3

‘our waters have a diverse group of sea life, both big and small. whilst some are mere legends, passed down through generation after generation, there are plenty that have been documented and studied just as long. cod, sea bass, lobsters, and eels are only a few of the hundreds of diverse organisms within the sparkling depths that surround over beautiful kingdom, each with multiple subspecies. in the decades to come, we are confident that many more discoveries will be made, each more fascinating than the last’

i’m sure this shit was made for like, idfk babies or whatever [maybe not with the fucking ‘whilst’ LMAOOO] but god this is so sick!! and this is just one world, one single world in a sea [lol] of thousands, some we haven’t even discovered! think of all that sea life, and how different it could be on each planet, and how much sea life on those that have been undiscovered, too! i’m literally losing my mind over this i don’t think i can adequately display that with words alone but i am flapping all over the fucking place this is NUTS. i’m sure you’re raving over it, too, sooooooooooo >:] told you so.

oh, and this signing book rules, too. i think i’m learning it pretty fast, but i don’t really have anyone to sign to, obviously. this isn’t an invitation for us to meet face to face because i’m not ready for that, and i know how you feel about it so i’m not gonna force you into it. besides, the mirror in the bathroom works just fine. it gets a little confusing sometimes, but i’ve got it under control, so don’t worry your pretty little head over it. you were cool with pretty, right? man i fucking hope so, or this is gonna be really awkward. i dunno, tell me what you think, i guess. 

either way i want more signing books and more books about water/fish, please and thank you. keep the random books coming, though. maybe a few art ones next time? i think drawing sounds kinda sick. thinking about fucking around and learning how to draw, maybe? >:0

i’m gonna go stuff more trail mix in my face and read some more. i might start on some poetry like you suggested, too. use my big words towards something thought-provoking and meaningful instead of going on forever about random nonsense. what do you think? as usual, i’d love to hear your thoughts. it’s always a highlight of my day, receiving your letters. i still look over the ones you’ve already sent every day, which i’m sure sounds normal.

and, ugh unfortunately your guess is as good as mine. i’m still thinking over it, a lot happened. can’t believe i told you all of that, i’ve never told anyone, y’know? it’s not like anybody ever tried to strike up a conversation, but i didn’t do that either. i wasn’t exactly supposed to feel more than burning hatred towards them, but i fucked that up, i suppose. it’s lonely but it’s all i knew, and i can’t BELIEVE i had to talk to you to realize how messed up that shit was, like i went my entire life thinking that was normal. if that wasn’t my life, i’d throw a pillow at you for lying to my face. and some of that shit was kinda self-inflicted, too? not ALL of it [i can hear your enraged scribbling already so don’t bother. i know it’s not my fault] but i could have just stopped doing what i was doing at any time and that thought is really odd to me. i never thought i had that kind of control but i did the whole time? i wish i had used it to its fullest ability, then maybe i would be fucked up so bad right now. introspection really does things to your head. i might go crazy and start feeling better omfg no way??? we’ll see e_e

with care and fondest regards, 

vanitas


	5. Who is in Your Heart Now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A change of heart, new friends, and a wrong, righted, as Ven pushes himself to brave the journey he's taken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw repetition, heavy depression, anxiety, memory loss, mention of intrusive thoughts, discussion of trauma
> 
> hey again!! how have u been? a vanitas sticker i bought arrived and it's the size of my forearm and hand combined! it's very funny. i kiiinda bought it on impulse, because the idea was just way too good to pass up, and you know what! i don't regret it at all >:]c anyways, have fun reading!
> 
> \-- Have you ever found something  
> That you didn't even know you're looking for?  
> An answer, though you didn't hear the question  
> //  
> When the plane is shaking violently  
> You wonder will the sky change into heaven  
> And if all fails, who is in your last thought then? --

_‘Like right now? He's leaving you behind.’ it sounds_

_Ven forces his eyes open._

_‘He's leaving you behind.’ it echoes_

_No._

_‘He's leaving you behind.’ it echoes_

_Stop…!_

**_‘He’s leaving you behind.’_ ** _it reverberates, violent in his head_

_He wouldn’t! He won’t!_

_He reaches out and grabs desperately at darkness; at nothing, and nothing drips off his hand. Again he reaches out, pushing himself harder, but all he receives in return for the strain are fingers, his fingers, digging into the shadows like claws. He doesn’t have time to think, his thoughts sneer that he wasted that time, hadn’t he?_

**_‘And by the time you catch up…’_ **

_He will be heard, there’s no choice. There’s no other option._

_He opens his mouth and screams,_

_“_ _VANITAS!_ _”_

_and a dash of red and blue in the darkness catches his eye. He turns his head; fast and wild, like the wind._

**_‘...he'll be a different person.’_ **

_A familiar back: a comforting sight. He runs towards the comfort, extends his hand and takes the other’s, clinging to it; a lifeline. Something other than shadows, something real, someone tangible and above all else: alive._

_His voice comes out a whisper._

_“Vanitas…?”_

_The shoulders go up, the hand twitches. The head turns,_

and Ven woke up.

And the dream didn’t evaporate from his mind.

\---

The dream didn’t leave, circling around like a malevolent carousel. It made him wonder if, perhaps, it didn’t want to leave in the first place, staying to remind him of the time that was quickly slipping by. His grip on the bag with Vanitas’ present was iron as the dream persisted throughout the day. It persisted through his brief visit with Xion, through the walk into the castle, and now here he was: Ten grueling minutes of his scan, and the only other thing he could focus on was how _tense_ he was. His muscles, his eyelids, his mouth: clenched, shut, pulled into a frown. It was strenuous, it was painful, and it made the seconds drag on unendingly. In the back of his mind, he wondered what had caused it. The day hadn’t felt any different than the last… well, he skipped over the amount of time, for his own benefit. So what was so different?

So caught up in their thoughts, neither Ven nor Naminé noticed her light, wave-like tapping on her clipboard as she watched his face contort.

“What’s troubling you, Ven?” She asked, finally breaking the almost-silence.

He snapped his eyes open and pushed himself up with his forearms, and seeing the worry on her face, his frown became deeply remorseful. 

“Are--”

The already high emotions that had been stirring inside of his chest made his eyes sting. 

“Are my readings that bad?”

Naminé let out a short, breathy laugh before walking closer.

“Ven, you’ve been frowning the whole time. Your readings...”

She paused, bit her lip as she looked at the scanners. Lightly, Naminé placed her clipboard on a nearby side table and hopped up onto his chair.

“You seem perturbed, regardless of any readings. I want to help ease your burdens, if I can.” She sighed. “I might not be the best person for it, but I think we’ve become good friends, and friends help each other in times of stress. I’d like to do this for you,” Quickly, she added, “if you’d like.”

Ven stared as he processed her words, and then, a soft smile as tears pooled in his eyes. Naminé was so gentle with him, with his heart. ‘Lucky’ didn’t feel strong enough.

“Thank you, Naminé.”

He grinned, tilted his head towards her.

“I’m glad we became friends, and I hope you get how highly I think of you; you’re a sweetheart, and one of the smartest people I’ve ever met! And, y’know,” Lightly, he _clunked_ their foreheads together. “I wouldn’t sit still for an entire hour for just anybody.

Shyly, Namine leaned forward and away from him, swinging her legs. As her cheeks dusted with a light blush, she giggled.

“I’m glad, Ven. I think you’re the same, too--”

“I’m a sweetheart?” He fluttered his eyelashes.

“Of course.” Then, after a roll of her eyes, she pushed his face away. “Oh, you stop that-- If you flutter those any more, I think I’ll be blown away by the draft.”

She glanced at the floor, then back at him.

“So, um… what _is_ bothering you, then?

Ven could feel the smile fade. He folded his hands in his lap, wiggling his feet from side to side in an attempt to distract himself.

“I was thinking about the dream I had last night, and about Vanitas. Not that that’s new,” he laughed, once, “but, um...” He intertwined his fingers and let out another laugh. This wasn’t the time to get embarrassed, especially in front of Naminé, of all people. 

“Do you think, maybe, he can sense how much my heart misses him? How much--”

He stops. “ _I…_ miss him?”

A fresh wave of embarrassment hit him, and he rubbed the back of his neck and winked.

“Ah, man, I mean-- it sounds cheesy, I **_know_ ** it does. I guess I want to believe that maybe our hearts are still connected, y’know? The other day, I was thinking about the replicas: they take form from the person’s heart, right? It made me wonder if Vanitas’ heart is still connected to mine. I know his heart moved through time, but that was way back then, wasn’t it? What about the heart- _his_ heart- that stayed with me all those years? Do you think... he outgrew me?”

Naminé’s shock made his cheeks heat up so fast that he became dizzy, and his eyes darted to a blinking light on one of the big screens. He looked back to Naminé and waved his hands, feeling the need to defend himself from _something_ , although he couldn’t put a name to it.

“He’s his own person, and our existences don’t **need** to be linked, and we don’t _need_ to be connected to each other.” 

The next words came out in a rush. “But I-I think I **_want_ ** to be? Maybe more like--”

Naminé’s shock hadn’t budged an inch, and so he rushed, anxiety propelling his words forward.

“I just think that our bond is different than others, and I’ve been wondering why everything that didn’t used to affect me does, now. Sometimes I wonder--” He held his hands up in front of him like a shield, “and not in a ‘we’re the same’ kind of way-- but, I wonder if I’m missing a part of who I am because he’s gone? Like how Terra and Aqua, they’re a part of me; all my friends are, my relationships with other people have made me who I am, like **_literally_ **, but--”

Ven groaned and rubbed his head frantically.

“I’m not making **any** sense, rambling like this! I’m sorry!”

A deep breath in, out, and Ven put his hands, right folded over left, over his heart.

“He affected me... Do you think I did the same?”

Naminé looked far past stunned, and it made his anxiety deepen. Had he upset her, or freaked her out? He hadn’t meant to, he--

Suddenly, she turned away from him, and towards the monitors.

Confused, he titled his head to the side.

Still looking away, she said, “He’s your brother, right, Ven?”

Ven blinked, tilting his head the other way.

“Um… yeah.”

Finally, she turned back with a smile, and instantly, he knew it was forced. He had seen her genuine smile too many times to count; she felt bad, something was weighing on her, too, but he couldn’t tell exactly what it was. Was it like Terra’s feelings about their dads, where they swirled and mixed and all he could say is that it was _heavy_ , heavier than anything?

“In your heart,” she began, bringing him back from his thoughts, “I think you already know the answer to that. If you have doubt, you **must** cast it aside.”

She pushed herself off the chair and grabbed her clipboard again.

“It’s a funny thing, the mind.” Naminé mused, “Always trying to confuse you in one way or the other.”

The hum of the machines filled the air. Ven didn’t speak, feeling in his heart that Naminé had more she needed to say.

She sighed. “I know you’ve been psyching yourself up for failure for many months now, Ven. And--” As he took a breath to speak, she held up her hand. “--don’t try to convince me you haven’t, because I can see it every time you come in here, in your face and in your heart.”

Ven’s face heated up in a fusion of embarrassment- for being caught with having thoughts that made him feel such fear- and love, for her knowing it, knowing _him_ and still loving him so much. He couldn’t imagine what state he’d be in if he hadn’t met her, if she hadn’t given him such solid ground to stand and rest on.

“But remember that the future is not set in stone. You have a direct hand in how destiny plays out: you can take any number of roads, and they will all lead you in different directions.”

She turned back towards him, then, and the smile on her face was real. Naminé folded her hands over her heart, taking a deep breath in as her cheeks pushed her eyes into crescent moons.

“I love you, Ven, and I can feel the love you have inside you every day, as it drives you forward. Keep that love, that **hope** , close to your chest, okay? It will be the burning light that guides your way, even in the darkest nights. If you believe, if you wish with all your heart that you will find Vanitas, then I promise you, my friend,”

She reached towards his hands and intertwined her fingers with his own.

“you will do just that.”

Ven couldn’t stop his heart from melting at her sincerity. 

“ _Naminé_ …”

“And who knows?” Naminé shrugged, light-hearted. “When you find him, he might just hop onto your glider and sail back home with you, and everything will be better, better than it ever was before.” A moment, and her smile turned sad.

“What’s reflected on your heart and your memories: the truth, and things unspoken... Maybe he wasn’t as cold towards you as you might fear he was.”

His heart pounded at the idea.

“You really... think so?”

She looked at their connected hands.

“Call it a hunch.”

\---

“I’m sorry I couldn’t see you off today, Ven.” Aqua’s voice was distant; she was probably watching two of her students spar. “I had woken up early to do metal-working and lost track of the time. By the time I had walked out, the sun was high in the sky, and you were gone.”

He watched the river flow over his legs for a moment, then smiled.

“Aw, it’s okay! The important thing is that you were doing something you love.”

All well-wishes aside, though? He missed his sister. Since he had started staying at the Land again, four months ago, he’d barely seen her, which felt ironic. In fact, most of his time was spent with Terra doing the most _grueling_ weight training-- He was dramatic about it because he thought it was funny, but his arms and legs really did ache constantly, and it was the reason he kept sitting at rivers, rolling his pants cuffs up, and sticking his legs in.

“Of course you would say that…” She grumbled, which took him by surprise.

“Huh?”

Aqua huffed, and he could practically hear her roll her eyes in disdain.

“Ven, I _know_ you miss me. Don’t try and cover that up for my benefit.”

Ven was silent for a moment, heart pounding in his ears from getting caught. With a sigh, he deflated, and flopped onto his back, resting his free arm in the grass as the other held up his gummiphone. 

“Well, I mean--”

“ ** _Ven_ **!!” Her tone was a warning.

He grimaced, and his apology spilled out. “Sorry! I-you’re just-- _Busy_ , even without your metal-working! You’ve got the school, and your missions, and you have friends you spend time with. I’m busy, too.”

“It’s not a problem to make time for my brother, Ven.” Aqua spoke. “And you know how Roxas misses you; you should be making time for him. Whenever you two meet again, I don’t know if he’ll let you walk away without four or five sleepovers under your belt.”

“Well…” Ven let out a slightly fearful laugh. “That’s one way to look at it, I guess.”

“Summer’s ending soon, Ven.” She lectured. The line made his heart weak for a reason he couldn’t describe. “They won’t have as much free time for the foreseeable future, and you must make use of the time you have. You never know what can happen, and the time you have together is sacred. You have to jump on the chance while it’s here, or you might not get it again.”

“Aqua…”

He had definitely hit a sore spot. How many times had Aqua felt like she had wasted time, in the Realm of Darkness? All those years…

“Let’s hang out soon, okay?”

She sighed. “Okay. I’m going to go back to helping Xion and Sora, okay? Be careful.”

Ven chuckled, “Always am!” and sat up with a groan. “I love you, Aqua! Tell everyone I said hi, please!”

“Of course!” A pause. “But Roxas will want to hear _you_ say it, Ven.”

“I know…” He watched the water again, guilt gnawing on his heart. “He will.”

The click of Aqua hanging up sounded, and he flopped on his back again with a big, loud sigh, arms stretched across the grass.

“I wasn’t eavesdropping, but that sounded, um…” Chirithy sat in the space between his left arm and torso. “well, it didn’t sound good, by any means.”

“I feel like I’ve got holes in my chest!” He whined, fitting his nose into his inner elbow. “That, or cracks! I miss Roxas so bad, and I feel like such a jerk for not seeing him for all this time. I’ve seen everyone else at least once a month, but it’s been, uh... **_SO_ **long since I’ve seen Roxas! Him calling as much as he does just makes me wanna see him more.”

He missed all of his friends, truthfully, but Roxas hurt the most. The space between them was too great, and missing two siblings felt worse than missing one.

“Then why don’t you just see him?” 

Chirithy asked, as if it was the most blatant, obvious thing. 

Ven repeated the threat Roxas had made with a croak.

“He’ll kick my shit in next time he sees me.” 

Chirithy snorted. 

Ven lifted his head and glared at him. 

His Dream Eater looked down, apologetic.

With a scoff, he put his head down again and stared at the sky. It really did feel like someone had popped a hole in his heart and cracked it a few times. He didn’t have enough hands to hold back all of the hope that drained from his chest, and it was hard.

Chirithy’s soft fur pushed against his arm and face as he curled into Ven.

“If it’s to see Roxas, then it’s worth it. Some people are worth it, and he’s one of them.”

He purred when he sighed, and it made Ven giggle.

“Besides,” he added, “if it’s _you_ seeking _him_ out, then I’m sure any pain you receive will be lessened!”

He felt so much lighter, then.

“Thank you.”

“Huh?” Chirithy squeaked. “What d’you mean? I didn’t do anything.”

Ven rubbed his face against the Spirit’s. “You patched up the cracks and holes.”

\---

He’d never been to Destiny Islands’ mainland before. He had always thought there was no point- he knew deep in his heart that Vanitas would never dare step foot there, so he’d always stuck to the islands surrounding it. There were always less people to avoid, as well, and he didn’t have to be careful about attacking any Heartless that popped up.

But now, as he stood on Kairi, Sora, and Riku’s island, he had seen some of the leaves beginning to yellow from across the ocean, and it made his heart ache. He’d never say it out loud, he’d _promised_ himself he wouldn’t, but something about it made him feel so unbearably lonely. It made his solitude so obvious, and worst of all, in it would come a pain that he couldn’t describe with words.

But he pushed past it, for now. Maybe a little break wouldn’t hurt… He’d been working hard, and he earned the rest, earned the ability to do something for himself and only himself. That sentiment didn’t stop him from feeling guilty, but he was still going to walk around for thirty minutes, because his friends would want him to. That was fine, Vanitas wouldn’t mind.

Probably.

 _Hopefully_.

The street he’d managed to wander onto wasn’t packed, but it was still bustling with life. Shops of all kinds lined the stones laid down in a way that looked both random and perfect, and between them were pots and boxes of flowers of all kinds, some he’d never seen before. He would have to bring Aqua and Terra here sometime, he was sure they’d love it.

Warm, familiar smells caught his attention and he glanced to the left. A bakery? He walked closer to the big window in the front and looked in. Someone at the counter inside was discussing something with a customer, and another seemed to be taking stock. The one taking stock paused and looked over to Ven curiously. He grinned and waved at her, and she did the same. Well, it wouldn’t hurt to go in for a bit.

He opened the door and stepped in, and the smells from earlier doubled in strength.

“You’re not from the Islands.” The girl knowingly pointed out, standing up. "You stick out like a sore thumb."

Ven could hear Aqua’s lecture about the order already.

“Ah, I’m… uh... visiting?”

She waved him closer, and with a shake of her head, she giggled.

“It’s okay." She whispered, a hand to the right of her mouth. "You must be a Wielder, am I right?”

“Oh! I--” He hadn’t expected that. He dropped his voice to a whisper and mirrored her pose. “Y-yeah. How'd you know?”

Again, she let out a giggle.

“You sure are dressed like one. Y’know… **weirdly**.” She bent down to adjust a roll, then stopped. “Uh, no offense. Also, you're flashy.”

“I--" Flashy? "None... taken. How do you know about us?” He asked curiously.

“My… let’s say friend. Three of my friends, actually." She corrected, folding her arms atop the counter and leaning. "They’re all Wielders, and they all dress weird. It’s cute, don't get me wrong! The friends they bring over dress kinda weird, too. Though you, kid? You dress the weirdest. No plaid at all. Thought there was some kinda Wielder theme goin’ on.”

Gears began to turn. Ven laughed as he folded his arms behind his head, smile placing itself securely on his lips. “You wouldn’t happen to be Selphie, would you?”

Selphie’s cheeks dusted a light pink. 

“My influence has finally reached other Worlds? Incredible...”

"Kairi's told me a lot about you!"

The whites of her eyes grew as her eyebrows went up.

" _No_ way… what did she say? Tell me now!" She paused. "Wait, uh…" She looked behind the counter, near the ground, and grabbed a big bag. She stuffed a few things from the counter in it before hanging the bag on her arm. After writing something on a pad of paper, Selphie jogged over to the other employee as the customer walked out. 

She grabbed the collar of his apron and tugged him close to her face.

"Tidus."

"Hey, hey!" He leaned away. "What are y- who?" Ven caught his attention, and he stared for a long moment. Then, he looked Ven up and down once, then twice, slower on the second time. Ven folded his hands behind his back and shuffled as his cheeks heated up. “Who's this?"

"Uh…" Selphie looked at Ven's face. "This is probably Ven. You know, the one Kairi doesn't shut up about?"

Kairi doesn’t shut up about him?

Tidus did another once-over, nodded as if realizing something, and then looked to Selphie. "Certainly fits every description she's given."

"Huh?" Ven squeaked.

"Anyways," Selphie looked at Tidus again. "I'm taking my break. Make sure to man the front while I'm out, and I've written down what we’re missing, so, like… do that when I get back."

Tidus groaned and let Selphie hold him up, his collar still wrapped in her fist as he went limp. "You know I've been working here for _years_ , 'Phie."

"Yeah, and I do a better job than you. C'mon, Ven!" She tilted her head towards what he assumed was the kitchen. "Just push through the little door and follow me."

Ven shifted again. "Is that allowed?" He asked, nervous.

Tidus and Selphie both stared at him like he had said something crazy.

Tidus snorted. "Oh, he really is a goody-two-shoes. That's so cute."

"Oh my God, YES it's fine. **_C'mon_**." She dropped Tidus and walked into the kitchen.

Ven pushed his way through the door, but stopped to see if Tidus needed help. Tidus blinked a few times to push the daze away, then smiled up at him from the floor. 

"See ya later, Ven! It was nice to meet you." he waved once, grinning.

It took a moment for everything to click in Ven’s mind, but once he could assure himself that Tidus was okay, he let himself relax and smile.

"Please, the pleasure’s all mine!"

Selphie grabbed Ven's wrist and yanked him into the kitchen, maneuvering around with ease before bumping the back door with her hip and chucking him outside again.

She shoved the bag into his arms.

"Take this to Kairi when you meet her today."

"Take this to-- Wait, she's here?!" Ven looked up, chest filled with swirls of hope and surprise.

Selphie cackled and put a hand on her hip. "What, you didn't **_know_**?" She lifted a palm to the sky and swung it once for emphasis. "God, the way she talks about you, it makes me think you're psychically linked or something."

"The--"

Selphie lazily walked past him.

"Anyways, yeah, she's with Sora somewhere. She won a bet we made, so I have to give her my weekly share of bread from the bakery. I'd deliver it, butttt..."

She shrugged. "I'm gonna go get some lunch. Kairi'll get it."

"Oh, um… Thanks?" He wasn't sure that was the right thing to say.

She smiled anyways. "You're welcome. I'll see you later, and you better tell me what Kairi said when I do, I'm holdin’ you to it!"

They waved at each other as she ran around a side alley. "Yeah, of course!" Ven called out. Realizing he was still holding the bag with both arms, he slung it around his shoulder as Selphie had. He winced as his muscles strained, but with a deep breath in and out, he followed in Selphie’s footsteps.

Okay, he had to just find Kairi. No big deal, he could just call her. He began to pull out his gummiphone, but a flash of black, pink, and red caught his eyes. Two shops ahead of him were Sora and Kairi, backs facing him as they discussed something or other. Sora laughed at something Kairi said, and then she stuck her tongue out.

His heart swelled. Ven flipped the bag around so it was more secure and took off in a bound. Narrowly avoiding a couple of passerbys, full-speed as he was, he aimed himself right between Kairi and Sora with his arms outstretched. He shot through the duo and locked his arms around their's, using the momentum he had built to thrust the three of them forward. 

Kairi let out a squeak-grunt as a shock went to her and Ven's hearts, and he could hear the grin in Sora's voice as he exclaimed, "VEN!?", before Ven flipped them around and pulled them into some bushes. And then he wrapped his arms around both of them and nuzzled their faces, ignoring the shocks he got when his cheek touched Kairi’s, too happy and full of love to care.

“Ven!!” Sora wailed, his arms tightening around Ven’s torso, tears streaming down his face. “I’ve seen you twice in the last three months! Do you understand how little that is?”

Ven leaned into Kairi to stop himself from crying, too, and she gave his hair a rub, seeming to ignore the shocks like he was. 

“I’ve been answering every call and t--”

“That isn’t enough!”

The interruption almost made Ven gasp. Sora squeezed him harder, then tugged him away from Kairi and turned him around, forcing Ven to look at him.

“It’s not enough to just keep friends in your heart. Your bonds will weaken; you have to spend time with them, too! Once a month **isn’t** enough.”

Sora grabbed the edge of Ven’s jacket.

“I don’t want our connection to weaken, Ven. _Please._ ”

Ven stayed quiet, only nodding in guilt. Even if he didn’t want to admit it, he was being a bad friend. He was being an even worse sibling, he knew he was. Having Vanitas ripped from them, and then disappearing as much as he did? It must hurt so badly. How could he keep doing something like that?

“I’m sorry, Sora. I want to spend time with you, with everyone. I do, I--”

Kairi put a hand on his arm. “Vanitas would understand.” She said, softly. “I know you’re wracked with guilt at the mere thought, I know you worry you’re making him wait, but you’re not. You’ll find him, Ven, even if you spend time with your friends and family. He wouldn’t want you to make your loved ones lonely.”

Sora scoffed. “Man, and if I can find Riku, then I know you can find anybody, especially Vanitas.”

A smirk, and Kairi flicked Sora’s forehead. “More like, if **I** can find **you**. I’ll remind you, since perhaps you’ve forgotten, but I had to run all over Twilight Town, then get captured, then escape, then wander around that stupid castle with Riku and Naminé, and then I finally found you. You don’t stay in one place ever.” She paused. “I think you have problems of some kind. You should get those checked out.”

Sora let out a puff of air. “Uh… I was _BUSY,_ KAIRI.” She stuck her tongue out, and Sora groaned. “ANYWAYS! Ven, the other stuff is important, too, but you have to hang out with me because I said so.”

“You know, Sora,” Kairi curled into Ven’s side so she could get a better poking angle on Sora, and it took the wind out of Ven’s lungs. “Ven’s been pretty busy visiting Naminé. She talks about him a lot.”

“ **WHAT!** ” Sora looked up at Ven with big, round eyes as he grabbed the edges of his jacket again. “I wanna join you guys! How come you haven’t invited me yet? What are you doing? You have to tell me right now or I’ll never give you my juice ever again!”

It was Ven’s turn to groan at Kairi, now. He put a hand on her cheek and pushed her face away, and she giggled- almost manically.

“She’s just looking through my heart, Sora. I’m asleep most of the time!”

Sora nodded, quiet as he contemplated that.

“You’d just get bored, I promise.”

Sora scoffed. “No, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t, actually!” He refuted.

“Maybe we should pay dear, sweet Ven a visit, hm?” Kairi suggested, grabbing Sora’s hands and intertwining their fingers with intent.

“With Riku, too!” Sora added.

Ven’s throat made a noise, and Kairi and Sora snickered at it. 

“I-I guess if you wanna.” He cleared his throat. “I don’t know if I’ll be awake, but I think Naminé would appreciate the company, at least. We’ll be meeting tomorrow, at the Garden.”

“Awesome!” Kairi wrapped her arms around Ven’s head and pulled herself up a bit to nuzzle his neck with her head. “We’ll make it a Destinies, Ven, and Naminé day! It’ll be great.”

Sora let out a “Yay!” and mirrored her motion, and Ven couldn’t help but giggle as their hair tickled his jaw.

“Hey, Ven?” Kairi patted the bag on Ven’s lap. “What’s this? I’ve never seen you carrying this big one around, just the small one.”

“Your bread from Selphie!” He giggled, squishing Sora’s cheeks. “She told me to hand it over to you, said that she owes you for winning a bet?”

Kairi blinked at the bag, and, just barely, her cheeks dusted with color. She wrestled the bag from around him and after wrapping it around herself, she used it as a shield.

“I cannot believe she made YOU--” She groaned. “I bet she went to go get lunch, right?”

Confused, Ven nodded. “Yeah. She--”

Kairi raised a hand as she untangled herself from Ven and stood up. “I’ll be back in five. Watch Sora.” She ordered, and walked off.

Sora giggled and poked Ven’s cheek. “Do you wanna know what the bet was?”

Ven nodded again. 

“Kairi bet her that _you_ would find Selphie before _she_ managed to introduce you to them herself. Kairi knew she was gonna win, even if she didn’t want to, but Selphie making you deliver them was teasing Kairi. So, she’s gonna go eat lunch with her and embarrass her in her favorite restaurant! Lovingly, of course. They will both be embarrassed at the same time, the playing field is very even, I promise.”

“...They do stuff like that?”

“Yeah!” He sat up. “They think it’s funny. I just think it’s funny how into it they get, it’s like they’re playing a game. Riku said it was a ‘weird sort-of courtship slash battle of wits between two geniuses’, but I have no idea what that means.”

Ven tried to think of what that could mean, but he couldn’t think of anything.

“I… don’t know either.”

“Weird.”

“Yeah.”

They both continued to lie and sit on the bushes in silence until Kairi came back for them, pondering over Riku’s words.

\---

Ven practically slammed his hand on the scanner, having trouble holding still. The only complete thought he had was how fortunate he was that Naminé had added his prints to the database. As soon as the door opened, he slipped his way in and grabbed Naminé’s hands before she had even finished turning around, holding her fingers delicately.

“Ven?” Naminé questioned, studying his face. “Oh, goodness, are you alright? You’ve never come in on your own, did you get lost? You’re so early, too, I--”

“Spend time with me.” He said, letting out a breath at the same time. “I was doing some thinking, after Sora said something to me. I’m usually asleep when we’re together, and I want to have no doubt in my heart when you call me your best friend; I want to feel like I’ve earned it. So, can we? Please?”

Naminé looked down at their hands, surprised. Then, she smiled, and as her cheeks darkened with a gentle blush, she looked back up at him, tears in her eyes.

“Yes, yes I’d love to! Did you have something in mind?”

“A picnic!” He chuckled. “Is in town okay? I think we should sit around the flowers.”

“Those are the king’s flowers.” Naminé said. “We’ll be sitting on top of them.”

Before he could react to her words, the door _swooshed_ open. A split second of Kairi with her hand on the scanner appeared in the doorway before Sora barged through, Riku’s hand in his own. When Sora spotted Ven, he waved, and when he spotted Naminé, he waved even harder.

Riku had a hand on his forehead.

“I still can’t believe I was allowed to have a day off.”

“Oh?” Ven practically skipped over to Riku, putting his hands behind his back as he looked up at him.

“Yeah.” Riku let go of Sora’s hand as Sora ran over to Naminé to swing her into a hug and give her some juice that he’d brought. “I’ve been doing double my usual amount of work. Master Yen Sid’s been working me pretty hard. I’ve been doing a lot of patrols.”

Kairi’s arms wrapped around Riku’s arm, and she rested her head against his bicep. “You know, Ven, Riku and I went together to ask Master Yen Sid if he could have a day off. As soon as we mentioned you, he let Riku go without hesitation.” She looked up at Riku. “Do you remember his expression? He was practically excited to let you go. I don’t usually see him emote that much ever.”

“Aw, well…” Ven rubbed the back of his head with a wink, which made both Kairi and Riku look. “I mean…”

“Oh, Ven!” Riku put a hand on Ven’s shoulder. “First, the three good fairies want you to visit as soon as you can, they have a gift for you. Of course, Master Yen S--”

“YOU--” Riku flinched at Ven’s volume. “You mean Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather?” Ven twirled around with his hands on his cheeks, and as such, couldn’t see Riku mouth, ‘Are those their names?’ at Kairi, to which she mouthed, ‘I... think so?’

“I haven’t seen them in AGES! Oh, I’ve missed them so badly!”

Naminé grabbed the back of Ven’s collar and pulled him towards the table.

“You can keep talking in a moment,” She said, completely to Riku, Kairi, and Sora, as Sora slipped Ven some juice, “but I have to start the scan, so you’ll need to let Ven sit.”

They nodded, and Sora pulled Riku and Kairi to the corner on the right of Ven, where they sat down and visited. Naminé started up the scans, but instead of closing his eyes, Ven watched the trio. The way they talked to each other was, sure, in some ways, similar to how he, Aqua, and Terra talked, but something about it was so starkly different, and it was the most enticing thing he’d witnessed in months.

Their dynamics, how they interacted, even how they **looked** at each other, was unlike anything he’d ever seen. Truth be told, it almost made him jealous, not envious; his heart cried that those were _his_ , that was _his_ , and that it wanted those _back_. It _whined_ that it was missing that, but he ignored it, as he tended to do now when those misplaced feelings pulsed in his heart.

What else was he supposed to do with them, those leftover feelings? He couldn’t discard them, so he used them as a step and kept going on his own. There was nothing else he could do.

Something about how they talked, too, made him wonder if they weren’t just visiting. Some of what they said made it sound like they were catching up with Riku. Was that why he had seen Riku far less, why Kairi and Sora always seemed to be together the last few months? Had the Master really overworked Riku that badly? 

That didn’t seem fair.

He watched Naminé for a while, then, as she took her notes and observed the data. Sometimes, she would look back to the screen above Ven, glance at the trio, and then frown as she watched them. It made him worry for her, but just as fast, she would be watching the screens again. He wanted to ask her if she was okay, but he knew she didn’t like to talk during the scans, she’d told him that before. If there was darkness, she wanted to see it when they found it, not afterwards in the reports. He respected her wishes, he always did.

And then, the machines began to let out a soft _whrrr_ as they powered down.

“Any darkness yet?” Ven asked.

Naminé turned to him with a sad smile and a sigh.

“Still no darkness.” She picked her mood back up. “I think we’re getting close to something, though! I can feel it!” She grinned, and Ven was more than happy to return it.

Sora was the first to rush over to Ven, bouncing in excitement as he pushed Ven’s leg. “Gee, you sure don’t have any darkness, huh? That’s nuts, Ven. I can’t imagine it…”

Riku had walked over to Naminé, and was now looking through the notes on her clipboard. “I can see why she talks about you so much, now.” He remarked. “Besides the obvious,” he motioned to the whole of Ven with his hand, “of course.”

Ven had to force himself not to react in any way.

“You’re fascinating. A pure light as powerful as you are, split by human means, to top it all off? What a feat… even scientifically, you’re incredible.”

Ven didn’t register Riku’s words, as Kairi had caught his eye. Away from either pair, she looked at the two big monitors behind Riku and Naminé. Her face, her expression, obscured by her hair, she was silent. Worry took a hold of his heart, especially when she walked past them and out the door without a word. Sora rushed over to Naminé and Riku, and watched them as they went back and forth, using words he didn’t understand.

He stared at them incredulously. Why didn’t they notice her leaving like _he_ had? Naminé and Riku were discussing notes, of course, but… not even Sora? Ven quietly hopped off his chair and, after a quick glance at the trio, he snuck out.

Kairi was leaning on a railing outside of the lab and to the left, looking out a big, arched window, down at the castletown below.

“Kairi?”

She glanced at him when he spoke and smiled, but she stayed silent. It made his worry intensify. He moved next to her, then flipped and leant backwards against the railing.

“...Are you okay?”

A split second of surprise shone in her eyes, but she masked it with a smile and nod.

“No, Kairi, I mean…” He reached out to take her hand, but he stopped, instead electing to cross his arms over his chest. He looked into her eyes.

“Are you _really_ okay?”

She didn’t bother to mask her surprise this time, eyebrows going up as the whites of her eyes grew. Her reaction made his heart splinter. Did people just not ask her how she was? He knew they cared, but did they not take the time? She was more than worth it.

“I’ll be okay, Ven, which is what’s important. Thank you, though. You’re very kind-hearted, and I appreciate your care more than I can say.”

Ven laughed and shrugged, glancing down to look at the freckles that splattered her cheeks. “We’re friends, Kairi. I care about you a lot, y’know.”

Kairi stood up a little more, head tilting up just so as she considered something.

“Oh, _really_?”

She stood up, folded her hands behind her back, and smirked. Before Ven could ask her what she was doing, she leant in dangerously close and fluttered her eyelashes at him. Ven leant back against the railing, face burning bright in an instant. 

“Then, I simply can’t **_wait_ ** to share that with Aqua when I see her at the forge tomorrow.”

Without another word, she moved away with a twirl and opened the door before entering.

Ven’s hand flung to his thundering heart as he slid down to the ground with a wheeze, the other going to his red hot cheek. He was so thankful, so overjoyed that no one else walked out or in, every bone in his body being sure that they would have seen steam coming out of his ears.

When he finally recovered and walked back in, Sora took his hand.

“Hey, Ven! You were out there a long time, what’s up?”

“Ah--!” Ven’s gaze flickered to Kairi for a moment, and then he glared at the wall. “It was nothing.”

Ven and Sora’s banter distracted Naminé and Riku, and the smile on Kairi’s face turned dangerously smug. He was so funny.

\---

As he hid behind a bush at the mysterious tower, he thoughts drifted to the previous month and a half. 

Sora had tipped him off about a World he hadn’t been on yet, which was a rare sight these days. A World filled with holidays, some he’d never heard of. The first one, and the one he spent the most time in, was Halloweentown. He couldn’t help it, really; he was positive that Vanitas would love it there. There was an odd comfort in how dark and gloomy everything was, and Jack would always say that his grinning at everything, while peculiar, was heartwarming.

When he shared his findings with Sora, Sora told Ven that he had to go with Donald some time, that his clothes changed when he was there with his dad. He refused to say more, saying that it would ruin the surprise, and then Ven gave him a noogie because DAMN it he had gotten excited! They still hadn’t gone, as Donald was either at the castle or the Land now, but Sora promised him that Donald had said he’d take them both as soon as possible.

Roxas yawned loudly on the Tower’s steps, putting a leg over his knee as he stared up at the stars, arms folded in a makeshift pillow behind his head. 

Ven sank back farther behind his bush. 

When was the last time he had actually been face-to-face with his brother? God, he couldn’t remember, which meant it probably had been way, way too long and Roxas was _super_ pissed. Which, honestly, was understandable. He had the right to be furious with Ven, who had meant to see him a month and a half ago, and then got swept in the whole holiday business. But that wasn’t a good excuse, and he didn’t even have a real excuse.

It was better late than never, though, and his anxiety would just get worse the longer he waited.

“Hey, Roxas!” Ven stepped out and waved, and Roxas shot up into a sitting position so quickly that Ven almost stopped walking towards him.

His eyes locked onto Ven as if he was a target, and Roxas was the hungry hunter. Roxas got into a squat, and after a brief charge, he launched himself up into the air, high above Ven.

“Oh no.” Ven whispered.

Roxas shot down into Ven with a spin, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and holding him tight as they spun from the force. Ven was able to grab Roxas and hold him up, keeping them upright before finally digging his feet into the ground to stop them.

Roxas moved his hands to the side of Ven’s head and titled him up so he could glare directly at him. “I can’t BELIEVE YOU.” Roxas seethed, tears streaming down his face.

“You just show up out of NOWHERE, without ANY warning? Don’t take me the wrong way, I’m overjoyed, but I’ve missed you so bad for MONTHS. I kept trying to reach out to you and you were always too busy, or I always missed you! Do you know how awful that was, Ven?”

Ven shook his head, forcing himself not to smile because of how elated he was to be near Roxas again. “I couldn’t imagine how hard that was on you, Rox. It’s completely my fault, and I’m sorry. I pushed you away when I kept telling not only myself, but everyone else that I wasn’t.”

Roxas sighed and clunked his forehead to Ven’s. Ven held back a wince.

“I know. And you’re forgiven. Don’t ever do that to me again.”

“I won’t.” Cheekily, he asked, “How’s the air up there?”

“What do y--” Roxas pulled his knees up and wrapped his arms around Ven’s head.

“Oh my God, how are you holding me up? This is freakish.”

Ven let out a bellow of a laugh and began to walk towards the steps.

“Terra’s training has been helping a lot. I was kinda weak before, I’m still adjusting to my new strength myself.”

“You had little stick arms.” Roxas pointed out. “You were like a twig.”

All Ven could do was grin at him. God, he had missed being around Roxas.

He set his brother down, then took a seat on the steps.

“Master Yen Sid wanted me to come over today. Mickey called me and everything.”

“The idea of Yen Sid making the King do his errands is so funny,” Roxas giggled, taking his place on Ven’s left. “I love it. Also, hey, you’re gonna sit with me for a bit, right? We have to catch up before we go in.”

Ven nodded. “Sure.”

“You look… Well, you’re different.” Roxas expertly observed. “I can’t believe you have definition in your arms-- Wait, stand up?”

Ven did as he was told, and Roxas followed suit. When he stood straight, Roxas put his hand, flat, on the top of his head. Ven titled his own in confusion, to which Roxas grabbed Ven’s jaw with his hand and centered his head again.

Then, Rox pushed his hand forward and bopped Ven in the eyes.

“OW _WWW_!” Ven whined, bending over and covering them.

“That’s not fair at all,” Roxas complained, “how come **you** get to be tallest? That’s not fair!”

“Was it _supposed_ to be fair?” Ven groaned, still bent over.

Roxas patted his back in an attempt to comfort his brother. “I always thought you’d be shortest, other than Sora. Sora just has tiny energy; he’s just a little guy.”

He stood back up and put a hand on his hip. “So, what you’re saying is, I have that, too?”

“Well, not exactly.” Roxas crossed his arms. “It’s like this: Xion and I are normal, Vanitas is, too, and you and Sora should be the tiniest. But here you are, being the tallest. The way you act and present yourself, you should be small, but you aren’t.”

“What an insight.”

“You’re welcome.”

Roxas took a step back, looked, and pointed at Ven’s torso and legs with his hands. 

“Now that you’re standing up: what am I looking at?”

“My--” He was at a loss. “My clothes?”

Roxas sighed as if Ven was missing something obvious. “Ven,” he grabbed the edge of Ven’s jacket, holding it up so Ven could see it more clearly. “Look at these tears and rips. There are some in your pants, too, and I can tell that you’ve repaired both many times over. Nice needlework, by the way.”

Forgetting that Roxas had been berating him, he smiled softly at the compliment. 

“Thank you.”

“Anyways, it’s too small for you, too.” Roxas tapped his biceps. “The jacket used to give you a lot of space to move, but now it’s too tight in the shoulders, and the sleeves’re the same. The pants are really short as well,” the situation struck Ven as familiar, “look how much leg you can see. Besides, this just looks uncomfortable; I can’t imagine what sentimental value these clothes must hold for you if you haven’t changed them yet.”

“They’ve been like this for a while--”

Roxas breathed in through his teeth. “ **Jesus**.”

Ven rolled his eyes, “--but I’ve never thought about it, I didn’t realize I could change them. Both of my sets look like this. I’m not that attached, they’re mostly just fabrics to me.”

After a long groan, Roxas began to rub his temples as he took a seat on the steps once again. “I figured as such. You know, you are so like Sora, sometimes. It’s like you’re the same person. Well, anyways, let’s think about it. I think you should go with a skirt, like me.” Roxas got up and spun around, and his skirt opened like a flower, then twirled tight around his legs when he stopped, before spinning into its usual place before he sat down. 

“They’re fun, pretty, and I like them a lot. Xi switches between skirts and pants depending on how she’s feeling, and even though Sora wears those poofy pants, he’s worn a skirt a few times; not enough, though. I’m trying to get everybody on board my skirt agenda, but it’s really only me, Nams, and sometimes Xi. Kairi doesn’t tend to wear skirts anymore.”

“I do like skirts,” Ven considered aloud, “but more for, like, parties and fancy events. Like, gowns and that kind of thing are really cool! I’ve always wanted to wear one. For training, though, I just find ‘em to be a hassle. All that fabric just gets in your way and can be used to grab you. I like shorts and pants, especially shorts!”

“Nothing can grab you if you kill it before it has the chance.” Rox pointed out.

Ven blanked. “I… I mean, you’re not wrong,” he said, distantly.

He collected himself and took his brother’s hand as he sat next to him.

“Sorry for not joining you, though. I can tell this means a lot to you.”

“It’s fine,” Roxas waved him off.

“I have high hopes for Vanitas. Are you gonna keep your jacket?”

A good question. _Was_ he going to keep it? He was pretty sure he liked it, his jacket had always been his favorite part of his outfit, other than his shoes. It’s why he begged Aqua and Terra to teach him how to sew in the first place.

“I dunno, I’m not really fashionable,” he shrugged.

“Good thing I’m here to help!” Roxas boasted, whipping out his gummiphone. He quickly brought up a folder named ‘vennie’ and then carefully handed the phone to Ven.

“I knew I wouldn’t be able to drag you to any stores, so I’ve been collecting pictures for months of things that I, Kairi, or Nams thought you’d like, or weird stuff that we threw in there for the laughs. Who knows, it might spark your interest.”

Months? This whole time, he’d been thinking about him **that** much…

He glanced at Roxas.

Roxas sighed. “No, I’m not going to tell you who picked what, and I’m not telling you which ones were for the funnies, either. You’ll be biased, then. This first section is jackets, start with those. Anything catching your eye?”

He hummed, wiggling back and forth as he perused the gallery. A lot of the jackets were so dark and looked so heavy. “I’m not really a spikes kinda guy; you’re asking the wrong twin.”

“Man… I wish you were cooler, sometimes. I mean, in an edgy way, I guess.” Roxas put his chin in his hand as a deep frown set itself in his face. “I’m sorry, that came out wrong. I think you’re pretty cool all on your own, Ven. No spikes needed.”

Ven put his head on Roxas’ shoulder as he continued to scroll, considering each jacket with care. “Aw, c’mon, Rox. I know what you meant. You’re so soft sometimes, dude. Don’t worry, when I bring Vanitas back, I’m sure he’ll love to play dress up with you. Edgy dress up, which is only for super cool people who are fashionable and epic.”

“Well, I guess so...” Roxas smiled. “Thanks for being an ally, prep.”

He titled his head and looked up at Roxas. “Prep?”

“Don’t worry about it.” A wave of his hand, and Roxas changed the topic back.

“You’re just making fun of me, either way.”

“Only a little.” Ven stopped on a jacket and pointed to it.

Rox squinted. “The… big pointy shoulder pads?”

“Yes! I like them a lot.” Folding his hands behind the phone to support it, he let out a sigh. “Ugh, I wish they didn’t have those sleeves, though. They seem so limiting, how are you supposed to move in those? There’s not enough room for motion.” He sighed. “I wish I could just have the shoulder pads, honestly. They’re cool.”

“Whatever floats your boat. Make it your own, space cadet.” Roxas saluted him.

Ven snorted.

“ ** _Whh_** at _?_ ” He asked, putting special emphasis on the start of the word.

“Listen, Ven,” Roxas ignored Ven’s question as he took Ven’s hands into his own, serious. “The most important part of fashion is doing whatever the fuck you want, because you like it. That’s the only real advice I have; everything is up to personal opinion, y’know? Everybody’s different, and likes wildly different things, and as long as they like it with no shame, and they’re not hurting anybody, then they’re good in my book. Like, hey, if you wanna wear a bunch of glitter all the time and look like a rainbow, then good for you.”

Ven noted to himself that Roxas was a lot more passionate about fashion than he had realized. “Rox do you… wanna wear a bunch of glitter all the time and look like a rainbow?”

Roxas was quiet for a few moments, then, he nodded. “Sometimes. But this isn’t about me, it’s about you and your ice cream pants and how I like them, but I think shorts and leggings would be cutest for you.” 

“Ice cream pants?” Ven looked down at his pants.

“Yes, you’re a little ice cream boy,” Roxas said, as if it was very apparent.

“Okay, well, I’m thinking about something. Can I share it?”

Roxas scooted down two steps and leant back, resting his head as he looked up at Ven.

“Shoot.”

“My clothes have been a constant in my life that I never questioned, but it’s not the only thing I hadn’t questioned. There’s been lots of things, like-- Um…” He racked his brain for memories, “for instance, I didn’t have a dream until my friend Jaq asked me if I had one.”

“Oh, really?”

Surprise danced across Rox’s face.

“Wild. You seem like a person who has lots, Ven.”

He let out a single, almost _bitter_ laugh.

“You know, you’re not the only person to think that. Anyways, I told him I had one, that it was, ‘to be a master, with Aqua and Terra,’ but that’s definitely not my dream anymore. You know…” he sighed, melancholy grasping his heart. “maybe it never really was.”

After glancing at Roxas, he pulled his focus in again.

“Uh, if I did have a dream, it had something to do with them; who knows if I have one now, but… things change. People change! And change can be scary- and hard- but I think it can be good, too. Continually growing and learning new things is an important part of being alive, yeah? It’s weird, like, you take so many things for granted because they just... _are_ , they’re what you’ve always known.”

He put Roxas’ phone down and interlaced his fingers together as he spoke.

“As I’ve been spending my time looking, I’ve been realizing that the first real choice I made for myself was running after Terra, many years after I had first arrived. Before then, I’d just taken what was given to me. I was just what other people told me I was; what I liked, what I wanted, what I wore, what I ate, all of it was decided for me for as long as I can remember. But when Terra left, it was like an awakening. You know--” His throat clenched at the memory. 

“One of the first things Vanitas said to me has always stuck with me, always refuses to leave my head alongside my heart: ‘What could you possibly know when you're stuck here, looking at nothing but what's in your tiny world?’ Even if it was to start me on the path to becoming the χ-blade, even if it had been said with ill intent… I think he was right. I _did_ have such a tiny world, and I didn’t know anything at all. That’s not a way to live, even if I was happy there, with my family. Besides, it kickstarted all of this, and even though a lot of it was painful, I would have never met you, or Sora, or Xion... The list goes on, but the point stands. So much good wouldn’t’ve happened.” He held his interlaced fingers against his chest. 

“And that thought makes me sad.”

“If you hadn’t left the Land…” Roxas pondered, “I probably wouldn’t look like I do. Maybe I wouldn’t even be here right now. How much would have changed, then? I think even one little difference, maybe one that doesn’t even seem significant, can create a chain reaction of more and more, until something big is changed, good or bad.”

Ven smiled. “I think so, too.” He leaned forward and tapped the metal tops of his shoes.

“And, of course, that’s not to say it was _good_ that I went through all that hurt and suffering, because it shouldn’t’ve happened in the first place. It didn’t make me stronger or anything, it just hurt me and the people I love. I guess… I guess I’m just trying to find a little shred of good, even in things that are bad.”

“I don’t think that’s so wrong. Naminé says all the time how things are more complicated than they seem, how light and darkness exist in every situation, even if it seems too dark,”

He lifted his left hand,

“or too bright.”

He lifted his right hand. Raising his left hand higher than the right, he continued.

“You did get hurt: you were in a coma, your sister was thrown into the Realm of Darkness, your brother was possessed, your other brother was stuck in the coma with you, each for over a decade. It was hard on you guys, and you’re still healing from it even if the original events happened years and years ago. Which is fine, of course. Healing doesn’t have a time limit, it never has.”

He flipped the positions, his right hand higher.

“But you also made friends, you saw new places, and you became closer with all three of them because of the hardships that were thrust upon you. The situation was bad, by all means, but the things that happened because of it were better, and you’re thankful for those.”

“Lots of thoughts today in this big old head of mine.” Ven joked, trying to ease the heaviness that weighed on his heart from the conversation.

Roxas, smiling, nodded. “I think I feel that way about my time in the Organization. A lot of my memories of it… they’re very bad, Ven: I don’t think I can repeat some of them out loud. I went through a lot of pain and heartache, but I also met Xion, Lea, and Isa. Isa and I weren’t even close to friendly terms back then, if you can believe it when you look at us now.”

“I guess he can be a little stand-offish.” Ven murmured.

Roxas cackled. “What a sweet sentiment that is. It was awful, but I met my friends because of it. I’m not grateful to the Organization, or any of that shit, but I’m grateful that there were other people with me through it, and that we could support each other. And even though the aftermath was just as hard… Well...” He smiled, soft and sweet. 

“The very first thing Isa did when he was recompleted was apologize to me and Xion. He hadn’t seen Lea yet, actually, Lea was getting us slushies on our way to the Castle. Isa walked up to us and told us that he was sorry, he told Xion specifically that he was sorry, and that we don’t owe him anything for helping us get our own bodies. He said he was just giving us what we should have had from the start. He had been cruel to us, and he understood if we didn’t want to associate with him, much less forgive him.”

Ven was speechless. He didn’t know a lot about the Organization, just that it was horrible and Lea and Isa didn’t want to talk about it with him. Most of what he had learned was from the other kids, and even now, as Roxas spoke, he was still learning. He was beginning to understand why Lea and Isa refused to talk about it now, but he wondered what could have happened to make them do the things Roxas and Xion had told him about. It must have been so frightening.

“Don’t tell anyone this,” Roxas whispered, “but Xion hugged him and sobbed as soon as he stopped speaking. I did, too, but you can’t tell anyone that, either.” 

Ven giggled, mostly to himself. Roxas and Xion really were such softies. It was adorable.

He continued at his normal volume, then, as he wrapped his arms around Ven’s..

“It took a few months before we actually started to occupy the same space as him on the regular, mostly on Isa’s end. Even now, he says we’re too forgiving, and I think he’s right, but…” 

He shrugged. “We still forgave him, even so. I’m glad we did, if only for how funny it is to see you interact with him. The way he talks to you is so different than how he talks to me.”

“That’s because I kicked his boyfriend’s ass in front of him when we were sixteen,” Ven pointed at himself with his thumb pridefully. “I could and have done it again, too.”

“If somebody did that to my boyfriend, I think I’d have to be their bestest best friend.”

Roxas paused. “I mean, if I ever get one. Actually, if I get a boyfriend, and he can’t take my siblings on, then what’s the point, man? I don’t wanna date somebody who’s weak.”

God, as if they knew any weak people. Everyone around them had some weird strength, in one way or another. Ven scoffed.

“Roxas, I don’t think any weak people could get past your glare. You’re one of the sweetest people I know, but your glare is nothing short of irate.”

“Nice verbiage,” Roxas complimented. “And, I dunno. Sometimes, I guess.”

Something flashed in Roxas’ eyes, and Roxas looked at Ven.

“Oh, can I bring the topic back to dreams? Yours, specifically?”

Ven titled his head. “Well, sure, but--”

“ **Your** new dream is **Vanitas** .” Roxas interrupted, pointedly. “Well, finding him, I mean. Or maybe just **him** , who knows. After you do, you’ll have to figure out a new dream yourself. I only give out one freebie per customer, though if you ask nicely I might give you another.”

Ven laughed, and put his hands on his cheeks to try and stop them from heating up. People needed to stop embarrassing him about Vanitas.

“Gee, thanks.” 

The misplaced feelings in his heart resurfaced again, but he didn’t quite push them down.

“I like the idea of a person being your dream, caring about someone that much sounds lovely. It’s sweet, too, don’t you think?”

“I do, and I think it’s real. I’ve felt it before, I believe in it. Y’know…”

Roxas looked off into the distance, into the clouds and the mountains.

“I have this weird feeling that Sora would have something to say about it.”

Ven breathed out through his nose.

He debated telling Roxas about his misplaced feelings for a brief moment, but decided against it. They already had spoken about heavy stuff today, and with some of the things he remembered and felt? It could get heavy, even heavier than it had been, too fast. Some part of him, as small as it was, worried that Roxas would not only _not_ understand, but would think Ven was weird for it, too.

“Yeah…I have that same feeling.”

Roxas pushed himself up and stretched with a yawn.

“Man, after Yen Sid tells me whatever the Hell he wants, I think I’m gonna take a nice long nap. I’m fucking exhausted.”

His concern grew as Roxas continued doing stretches of different kinds.

“You looked tired when I arrived. Are you getting enough sleep?”

“Haha, you sound like Aqua.” Roxas teased. “But, who knows. Man, who’s even getting enough sleep in general. I know you for sure aren’t. The muscles are the only thing that’s new. The circles under your eyes are pretty dark, dude.”

Ven crossed his arms and watched some grass sway.

“I guess…”

“C’mon.” Roxas walked past Ven and opened the door for him. “Better not keep the old man waiting any longer.”

“You are so disrespectful!” Ven chastised. “You know, he can probably hear you when you’re on his World. He’s a wizard and junk, I’m sure he can do that.”

Roxas grinned, taking the steps up backwards so he could face Ven.

“...and junk?”

Ven picked up his pace and reached out to give Roxas a noogie, but Roxas slipped behind him and snickered.

“You got Reversal from **_ME_ **!” Ven shouted, picking Roxas up around his middle and carrying him up the rest of the way like a sack of potatoes. Roxas giggled and wiggled around, which made it infinitely harder than a normal sack of potatoes would have been, but he wouldn’t trade the Roxas potatoes for anything.

When they reached the top, Ven gently released Roxas. In thanks, he opened the door for Ven again, and Yen Sid’s chamber opened up before him. Just as he remembered it; some things never changed, he guessed.

Yen Sid nodded at Roxas, but he smiled warmly when he spotted Ven.

“Ventus, how fortunate it is to see you once more. As I was assured, Terra’s training has helped you grow stronger. This is wonderful news.”

Ven nodded, bowing a bit with Roxas.

“Thank you! It’s been rough, he’s surprisingly tough on me! But it’s nice, having the stamina and strength that I do now.” He laughed a little, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Sometimes I’m not sure what to do with it.”

“I am positive that you shall figure this out in due time. In a moment, I would appreciate an update on your current predicament. Alas, I must warn you both, for I have recently received word from Mickey and Aqua.”

Ven and Roxas glanced at one another, then back to Yen Sid.

“I am certain you both were made aware of this problem, as it has been spanning for many months, but Aqua’s hypothesis was correct: the Enchanted Dominion, the Castle of Dreams, and the Dwarf Woodlands had all been affected by their prolonged time in darkness more than we had originally thought. The darkness was slowly collating into one spot on each World, building up into something bigger than we could have feared. We could not attack the darkness directly, therefore, we have been forced to wait until the darkness became a being we could dissipate. To make it easier to comprehend: There were Darksides born unto each World, and with the combined efforts of Mickey, Kairi, Terra, Riku, and Aqua, they were all destroyed without damage and without spread of mass paranoia.”

Had he misheard?

“If I may, Master Yen Sid?” Ven asked, “Did you say, Kairi? I’ve been assuming this was a Master thing, since there were so many Darksides.”

“Yes, our Princess of Heart.” He smiled again. “She is nearing her Mark of Mastery. We have decided to allow her on missions usually reserved for Masters to better prepare her. It allows the Masters a much-needed extra hand as they take on treacherous tasks. Not only that, ‘twas a personal request of Aqua and Riku’s, one I whole-heartedly agreed with.”

Ven gasped, putting a hand over his chest. “I’m so happy for her! I didn’t know it was so soon!”

“You just don’t pay attention.” Roxas teased. “It’s all she ever talks about to me and Xi. She’s pretty stoked, so you need to get your head outta the clouds.”

His shoulders sank. “But... I _do_ pay attention. Especially if it’s something that important to her… I know how much training she’s been doing, and how excited she’s been about working towards that goal.”

He remembered her expression so _perfectly_ as she had raved about it to him, so full of vengeance and hope. A badge of pride, worn by a select few; the Princess who had not only learned to wield a Key, but perfected it to the point of becoming a Master. If she could achieve that dream, no one could doubt her again. It was why she worked so hard, why she trained every day. She pledged herself to it, so no one could have the excuse. She would rip it out of their simple minded hands herself.

With something that important, there was no doubt in his heart that he would’ve remembered it. Unless his heart was working against him, of course. He had forgotten things of that level of importance before, but this... His heart began to pound at the mere idea.

“I greatly anticipate the day that you earn your Mark, Ventus.” Master Yen Sid spoke, bringing Ven out of his thoughts and worry, and throwing him headfirst into different emotions that he couldn’t put a name to. “I am sure you will be taking it soon, yes?”

Ven folded his hands together, an uncomfortable smile on his lips. “Haha, well, I--”

“Master Yen Sid,” Roxas spoke, then, “What did you need me for?”

“Ah, yes. I am thankful that you reminded me, Roxas. Riku has personally requested that you join him in Agrabah. There, lies an unforeseen mass of darkness that must be taken care of at once. I trust you are prepared to undergo this task immediately?”

Roxas nodded and bowed. “Of course. Thank you, Master.”

He turned and took a step, bumping Ven with his hip.

“Ice cream later,” Roxas whispered. “My treat.”

And with that, he walked out.

After a brief update of where he had looked and how unsuccessful he had been, Yen Sid nodded.

“Unfortunate as it is,” he began, “I trust in your ability to find your brother. I have searched the stars, but he is out of their sight. Whatever happens next, young Ventus… Know that I will help you in any way you desire. All you must do is ask.”

Ven nodded. “Understood. Thank you in advance, Master Yen Sid. I appreciate it a lot!”

Another smile graced the Master’s face, and he motioned towards the door on his left. “Do not keep the good fairies waiting, now, Ventus. They have been all aflutter since I informed them of your eventual arrival today.”

“Of course! Thank you again!” He called, before jogging over and opening the door.

His wrist, arm, and jacket each had a separate, vibrant hand on them as Fauna, Flora, and Merryweather tugged him into the room. It was bigger than he had been expecting, but perhaps this was due to the large amount of floor space. A single tall chair sat in front of a circular table, and they plopped him into the chair and fluttered in front of him.

“Look at him! What a strapping young man!”

“Oh, look at how handsome he’s gotten!”

“Just like a little prince!”

Ven giggled at their enthusiasm but deep in his heart, something about the compliments felt off. He couldn’t place it, but he wasn’t given time to think it over, either.

“You poor dear, look at your scars!” Flora cooed, grabbing his jaw lightly and moving it to see them better. “You must have been through such an ordeal!”

“I can’t stop thinking about how princely he’s become…” Fauna said, dreamily. “Why, if Aurora wasn’t already engaged to Phillip--”

Merryweather pushed Fauna away from Ven, his cheeks starting to burn.

“For Light’s sake, not in front of him! Control yourself!”

Flora clicked her tongue. “Now, girls. Let’s focus on the reason for Ven’s being here. Dear,” she took Ven’s hand and searched his eyes. “we wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done for our precious Aurora.”

“And the Realm of Light, of course!” Merryweather added, hastily.

“Of course,” Flora agreed. “We have some spare fabric around, and we wish to make you some new clothes! What do you say, dear?”

“Oh!” Well, how about that? “That would be wonderful, thank you so much, I’m not sure what to say!”

“Why don’t you start by telling us what you want?” Fauna asked, excited. “And don’t worry, you’ll be able to keep your old clothes. The stitches have so much love in them, I would hate for that to disappear.”

“Uh… Let’s see…”

\---

After hours of work, Ven looked at himself in the mirror.

“These,” Fauna said, sitting on the chair he had long since left, motioning to the fabrics at his sides, “are quite eye-catching, dear. Oh, and I think it’s too sweet that you took inspiration from your sister!”

Ven grinned. “Thanks! I like them a lot, more than I thought I would.”

He admired his freshly-gloved hands. “Do you think the gloves are weird?”

Merryweather put her hands on her hips. “Not at all.”

“Nice.” He turned them over a few times. “Sora’s always looked so cool, and I hadn’t had any before. I really wanted to look obnoxious, like how everybody else does.” He tapped his big, pointed shoulder pads. “I guess I’m wondering if I went overboard, though?”

“Nonsense, Ven.” Flora waved him off. “You must have more faith in your choices.”

“What made you change your straps?” Merryweather asked. “They’re red now.”

“Oh, um…” A heat rose to Ven’s cheeks. “I was just… thinking about the color red, I guess.” He let out a laugh. “I suppose it’s just in my head.”

He couldn’t tell them that he had been thinking of Vanitas. They didn’t even know he was looking for him, and he’d asked Master Yen Sid to not tell them, either. He wasn’t sure what they would think, but worst case, he didn’t think he had the heart to listen to their disappointment or worry over his safety in regards to his brother.

She pursed her lips. “And what made you keep the shoes?”

Collecting his thoughts, he began to rock back and forth on his feet. “I like them enough, and I wanted to keep _something_ similar. The shoes were the easiest option.”

Flora put a hand on his shoulder. “You mentioned how you matched bracelets with your brother… Roxas, was it? Are you nervous about him finding out?”

A smile, and he shook his head. “Not at all. I think he’ll be so amazed at the triangles,” He motioned towards them, “that he won’t even notice it. He was very supportive of me looking like a weirdo.”

“How sweet.”

Merryweather flittered to Ven, blocking his view of the mirror.

“Now listen here, Ven. You must go see Aurora as soon as you can!” 

“It’s been a while! And, um, she was unconscious when I saw her last. Gosh,” He put a hand on his cheek. “She probably doesn’t even know me.”

“We have told her about you, so don’t you worry your pretty little head.” Fauna rubbed his hair. “You were the one who saved her heart, after all! She _should_ know.”

“She’s the Queen now!” Flora said, sweetly. “She rules well, and Phillip is off ruling his own kingdom, though I do hear he is not faring as well…”

Merryweather rolled her eyes. “Oh, come now, Flora. Don’t bother Ven with that.”

“Dear,” Fauna began, “we haven’t seen any of those unsightly, Heartless-looking creatures in a while. You and Aqua must be the brave souls who destroyed them all, correct?”

Ven swallowed his emotions down.

“Oh, maybe! But if you see any, make sure to tell someone so they can tell _me_ , okay?”

Flora nodded enthusiastically. “Anything for you, dear. If we do, we’ll tell Master Yen Sid immediately!”

“How heroic!” Merryweather cooed. “What a noble child.”

The three of them began to giggle amongst themselves, until Fauna took Ven’s hands again. “What have you been doing all this time, Ven?”

“Something good, I just know it.” Flora remarked. “You have such a good heart, so filled with light and dreams, just like our Aurora does.”

Merryweather shook her wand at Ven. “It must be a hefty task if it has taken him this long to come visit, wouldn’t you say?”

“Sorry for making you wait!” Ven apologized. What excuse could he give them? What would make sense, but not be a lie? He certainly didn’t want to lie.

An idea popped into his head.

“I’ve been... searching for something, and I lost track of time.”


	6. The Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revelations, resolutions, and a call begging to be answered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw heavy depression, anxiety, some suicidal ideation mentioned and then more outright at the end of the chapter, discussion of trauma, breakdown 
> 
> it's so wonderful to see you again ! SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE i moved 😳 i hope the content more than makes up for it, and i hope u enjoy :]c!
> 
> \-- I'll come back  
> When you call me  
> No need to say goodbye --

There was something about Twilight Town that felt like a warm, heavy blanket. Even though he knew this was the last place Vanitas would ever come, he found himself going there often, as if being drawn to it. Perhaps he had Roxas and Xion to blame for that, but it wasn’t an angry blame. Honestly, he should be thanking them. It was like a second home, almost as comforting as the Land was.

Today, however, he wasn't able to enjoy it as he normally would, not with townspeople who usually paid him no mind looking directly at him. Ugh, of course they would stare, the way he stuck out was almost aggressive- which had  _ roughly _ been his intention, but he was certain he had gone overboard like he’d feared. And while he could force himself to walk confidently, he couldn’t stop his face from heating up. Is this what everyone else went through? They had more normal outfits than this, so surely not. He had to force himself to concentrate on the directions Roxas had given him, too, otherwise he was sure they would blow away.

Spotting Roxas was easy enough: already biting through his signature sea-salt ice cream in the Struggle Tourney area, sitting on the edge of the stage in a position that made Ven worry for his back. It was a secluded spot save he and Roxas, now that the Struggles were over for the day and their banners were folded neatly on the benches. Roxas’ thoughts seemed to be elsewhere as he swung his legs and crunched. It was so simple and sweet to watch Roxas in his natural habitat; while he lived in Radiant Garden, swapping between Lea and Isa's apartments with Xion, Ven could tell that this was  **Rox's** home, no matter what. This is where his heart belonged, and where it always would belong. The string of thoughts eased his mind, and he finally felt himself relax.

With his heart settled, he cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled,

“ROXAS!”

Rox’s head shot up, and it took a moment for him to process what abomination was meandering towards him. When he realized that the abomination was his dear, sweet brother, he dropped his ice cream.

“NO WAY?” He was in front of Ven in an instant, and then he was hopping around him, picking up the fabrics and poking the shoulder pads and tugging on the jacket. He even jokingly poked at Ven’s precious bag that he had dubbed the ‘Vanitas bag’, getting a swat of his hand from Ven, before rounding back in front of him and grinning at the fabrics at his sides.

“This is bananas! Are you kidding me? You--”

Roxas put his hands over his smile, tears pooling in his eyes.

“You took my advice!” He whispered. “You listened to me.”

Ven raised an eyebrow and nodded, “Of course I did! You were so passionate about it and knew way more than I did, how could I not?”

He was always so surprised when Roxas was such a big softie, and he never understood why. There was nothing new about it, he had always been like this.

Roxas wrapped his arms around Ven’s torso and nuzzled into him, sighing in content. Heart filled with love, Ven returned the hug, clinging to Roxas’ head and giving his soft hair a shake. As they separated, he gave his hair one last rub for good measure.

“Uh…” Roxas picked up the stick that he had dropped. He flipped it over, sighed, and tossed it into a nearby garbage can. “Guess we gotta get some more ice cream.”

“Roxas, you do, like…” Ven took his brother’s hand. “You eat things other than ice cream, right? You don’t only eat ice cream? I’m just checking. I’m worried about you.”

Still holding onto Ven’s hand, Roxas began walking towards the store. “I really love your outfit, Ven. It suits you better than I ever would’ve imagined; I was right about the shorts and leggings, they’re very cute on you!”

Being dragged as he was, all Ven could do was sigh and accept that Roxas was going to keep him in a state of perpetual unease about his eating habits. “Thank you, Rox. I have to talk to you about something when we come back here with our sweets, okay?”

“Oh, geez.” Roxas glanced back. “Way to inspire anxiety in me, Vennie.”

The look on his face must’ve been potent, because Roxas smiled at him.

“I’m joking, Ven. I promise. Okay?”

Ven nodded, but he still rolled his eyes to make a point.

\---

“I think you should really give her a chance, Roxas. It’s good to hear that you’re starting to spar with her again, but it’s been a  _ long _ time. Besides, if you’re just blocking, you’re not actually sparring her and I  _ know _ you know that.” 

Ven pointed at him in a way that was friendly and not accusatory. 

“And  _ you _ know better than anybody how crazy overpowered she is. She’s got it, so you can land a couple hits on her!” He bumped Roxas with his shoulder. “Also, I think that, maybe... it’d help you heal a little bit? Sparring her in a way that’s not life or death. Y’know?”

The part of Roxas’ ice cream that stuck out from his mouth wiggled as he thought. He took it out and began to nod, slowly at first. “Yeah… you’re right, Ven." He bit, much to Ven's horror, into his ice cream and gave one final nod. “I’ll start tomorrow.”

Xion had been right: Roxas really did listen to him. It was so weird-- Maybe he was still used to being the one who nobody really listened to or looked to for advice, since that was a majority of the life he could remember. Being listened to and trusted like this was such a nice change of pace. His lips curled into a grin, feeling an overinflated sense of pride about it.

“I know she’ll appreciate it! Honestly, I think what she’d love the most is if you challenged her loudly in front of everyone. Even if she loses, it’ll still be cool.”

Roxas giggled, rested his head on Ven’s shoulder. 

“I can totally imagine it. I’m kinda excited now! And you better be there to watch her kick my ass! Listen, you just...”

He glanced to the clouds drifting in the sky, eyes half-lidded. He’d spent a lot of time today doing things over than looking. He wasn’t ashamed of it, and he knew Vanitas would understand, but he still felt...  _ something _ about it. That something made his chest tighten and shrivel in the worst way, almost leaving him unable to breathe again, and he reflexively gripped his bag. Unlike earlier, though, he knew that Roxas wouldn’t be able to heal it.

Ven let out a sigh as he rested his head against Roxas’. He would have to push that something aside, for now. As much as he wanted it, looking for Vanitas could  _ not _ be his only focus right now. Sora’s words floated into his mind, and his heart was set. It would be fine. He was okay.

\--

As he sat on the edge of the garden’s walls, overlooking the purpley-pink water, his thoughts flowed in and out endlessly. Nothing seemed to stay for long, and he wasn’t sure how much time passed as he waited. A breeze passed through him, and even with the warmth of the sun, the chill bit at his bones and he shivered. He put his hands over his arms and rubbed them to try and make himself warmer. Should he make a fire? Hm… probably not in a public place like this. Without wood, he’d have to use Fira, and he didn’t want to risk catching any of these lovely flowers on fire. He’d feel so guilty about it.

“Ventus?”

Ven turned at the sound of his name, and there Naminé stood. With her shiny starlight earrings and her hair in a bun, she wore a new sweater he’d never seen before: chunky, long, and a lovingly obscene neon pink. In her right she held a large backpack, covered in patches of neon blue, yellow, and green, and absolutely littered in zippers. In the other she held an ordinary picnic basket with soft blue ribbons interweaved around the edges; it was so normal that it almost made him laugh. He remembered then that he hadn’t told her what food to bring, but he was sure Naminé had brought something good. It’s not like he would’ve needed to tell her, she knew him pretty well by now.

He swung around and folded his legs, setting his hands in his lap.

“I’m a little jealous of you, Nami. I’d love to have that kind of sweater.”

“Well,” Naminé began, looking to the right, then left, “Radiant Garden always gets a bit chilly in the late fall. I suppose I should have warned you. I apologize.” She put a hand on her chest and bowed a bit.

Ven gave her a smile as he hopped off and offered his hand. “It’s okay!”

After she slung the backpack around her shoulder, she took his hand, and they began to walk over to the middle of a large section of flowers of all different colors. While Ven walked as he normally did, despite his guilt, he could have sworn that Naminé dug the balls of her feet into every step.

“...I wouldn’t worry too much, though.” She assured him, snapping him out of his thoughts and making him realize she’d been speaking this whole time, “In a few months, the cold breeze will disappear again. Our winter months are fairly short here, sometimes we don’t even get snow.”

Ven laughed, a memory floating into his mind. “The Land tends to be in a perpetual summer, but sometimes it’ll get cold during December! I think I’ve only seen one snow, though. Aqua, Terra and I were really excited, and we built some snowmen with Master Eraqus!” He sighed as he swung their hands. “It was nice.” It was one of his favorite memories of their short, shared time. He held it close.

Naminé studied his face for a moment, then stood in front of him and grabbed his other hand, the picnic basket sliding down to her elbow.

“Speaking of Aqua,” She tilted her head towards the bottom of his outfit. “I can tell where you got your inspiration, for the, um… triangles?” A giggle, “And Roxas has been raving over your jacket and leggings, too.”

It took him a moment to process that she was speaking about his clothes.

“Haha, really?” His grin was so big that it forced his eyes closed. “He’s so cute.”

Now it was Naminé’s turn to swing their hands. “He is, and he sure talks himself up for somebody who was surprised that you listened to him. C’mon, though, let’s sit.”

“Wait, I’m worried about Roxas now…” Ven whined. 

That wasn’t a lie, either: Roxas had been on his thoughts frequently since they reunited a few weeks ago. While different thoughts of him bounced around his head, the one he’d been thinking about frequently was how Roxas had gotten taller. Once he had thought about that, he had begun to think of everyone’s heights; Sora was the only one who hadn’t grown- Kairi had passed him quickly. Naminé, Xion, and Roxas were all weirdly similar heights, to the point where Ven wondered if they did that on purpose. Even Riku had grown a little more, much to the chagrin of everyone else. It made him wonder how tall Vanitas was… would he be taller than Ven, or shorter?

Something about the miniscule chance of Vanitas being smaller than him made him giggle. Vanitas had always been a fan of heels and platforms, and so he had always looked up to him, even if it was just a teeny bit. How ironic it would be to have Vanitas be the one to look up now? He couldn't help but wonder how much taller he would be, if the daydream turned out to be reality. Would it be a few centimeters, or…?

Naminé patted the spot next to her, bringing him out of his musings once again. “He’ll be okay. He would want you to have your juice, also.”

“Juice!” He plopped down onto his knees, bouncing in excitement. “Did you really bring some? You aren’t pulling my leg?”

“Ven,” She smiled, “why would I lie about paopu juice? Every time Sora drops off a shipment to my apartment, I can see his overinflated ego  _ oh _ -so-clearly. Good for him, of course,” She opened the picnic basket with care, “but you’ve boosted him up sky high, falling in love with his juice as you did. I’m not sure he’ll ever come back down, truthfully.”

His cheeks began to hurt from all the grinning he was doing, and he covered his face.

“It’s good juice, Naminé! He SHOULD have an overinflated ego in general, but doubly so for the juice!”

Very gently, she took his fingers and pulled his hands away from his face, placing a bottle of Sora’s juice in each of them. “Drink your juice, Ven.”

He did as he was told, staying quiet as she began to unpack all of the food. Some of it still had steam coming off of it from the heat, and Ven cocked his head to the side.

“It’s still hot?”

Naminé made a face, then looked at him, confused.

“Yes? Why wouldn’t-- Ven,” She smiled softly, patient as ever with him, “my apartment isn’t far from here. Ienzo helped me make all of this, you know. He had today off, and helping me was better than lying about for hours.”

“Oh, really?” Ven knew she had an apartment, but he didn't know she lived with  _ him _ , of all people. He could still only imagine Ienzo as the little quiet kid who had barely reacted to the Unversed. “What’s it like? Living with him, I mean.”

She smirked. “Clean, in an abstract sense.” Namine began to prepare bowls of different things, putting each bowl between the two of them when she had finished. “Other than that, though… It’s quiet. Um, except when he’s practicing spells, then it’s explosive in a  _ very _ literal sense. I think the only reason we haven’t been kicked out is because Ansem is trying to make up for ruining our lives.”

The plastic in his hands crumpled a little bit at her words, and she gasped, putting her hand on her chest in alarm. Apologetic, he waved his hands.

“Sorry! Every new thing I hear about him makes me--”

She took his hands in her own. “It’s okay, I understand. Let’s go back to Ienzo, alright?” She pulled out a container of fruit and another bowl. “He collects books, parchments, any kind of reading material, really; we have so many, and from so many different Worlds! You’d have to wonder how he managed to get all those, right? Well, he tells me Sora brings them to him at the castle, and you know how many Worlds Sora has visited. I would be lying if I said I hadn’t snatched a few for myself… It’s not like he reads every single one.”

“That’s really cool!” Ven paused, thinking of all the Worlds  _ he _ had been to.

“Do you think, maybe... I could bring him some, too?”

Naminé, quietly, handed him the bowl of berries she’d prepared.

“I don’t see why not. I think he’d appreciate it, and perhaps the two of you can reconnect. He always listens to me infodump about you and your heart…” She shook her head. “though, that’s not without its own set of teasing.”

“He teases you for infodumping about me?” He tilted his head.

“Yeah,” Naminé let out a huff, “but only because you’re a **person** , and not a  **thing** . He thinks it’s quite funny to make fun of me for having a best friend, as if Xion and Roxas aren't right there, and you know what? He’s wrong.”

He giggled at her honesty.

“Riku will usually come to my defense, but Riku’s been busy recently, so he hasn’t visited as much.” A thoughtful look overcame her face, and she looked at the bag she had brought.

“Kairi’s busy with the same things, and Xion and Roxas are working with Lea to teach Isa how to wield a keyblade. Yoake can’t even visit anymore, because they have two jobs now. I’m fine, it just leaves me a little lonelier than I thought I’d be, and I miss them all terribly. It’s why,” she extended a hand towards Ven, “I was so excited at your invitation. I haven’t spent time with anyone who was awake in a few months.”

She paused. “Wait, no, that’s not entirely true. I’ve spent a bit with Sora and Ienzo, but not like this.” She motioned towards their picnic.

The sheer quantity of the information was almost enough to make him forget all of it, but he did his best to hold it up. “Well, firstly, I’m very glad that they’re teaching Isa, and I’ll have to pay him a visit!”

“And he’d appreciate it. I think Isa would love to have your guidance, too, since you both hold your weapons backwards and all. I’m certain he got that from you, I’ve never seen anyone else hold a weapon like that.”

A cackle, big and loud,  _ boomed _ out of Ven. “What a cute thing to do! Did he  _ really _ get that from me?”

Naminé groaned. “Oh, don’t you dare call someone who’s almost 30 ‘cute’. It’s so weird. He's like…. old.”

“He’s--” His throat involuntarily made a noise, and he groaned right back at her. “He’s  **_not_ ** old, don’t say that! You’ll make him feel bad, besides,” he stuck his tongue out at her. “We do know ACTUAL old people.”

“Sure.” She plopped some berries in her mouth.

“...Naminé,” Ven began, as Naminé continued her berry escapades, “who’s Yoake? I’ve never heard that name before.”

“Oh! You--” She swallowed and dabbed a napkin to her mouth. “Oh, no…” A grimace pulled across her face, and she put a hand on her cheek and looked to the gate at the end of the gardens. “Oh, my God, um…”

“Is everything okay?” Ven asked.

“Yes, I’m just-- I’m not sure how to explain it all. Um, do you know the--” She stopped, and her grimace turned even deeper. He almost wanted to ask her to stop, if it brought her so much pain. “Riku… Replica-- They weren't the one in the old organization, but they were? But they really weren’t, they’re both different people, but they both started off as--”

She waved her hands frantically in front of herself, erasing everything she’d just said.

“Castle Oblivion!” She stopped her swinging and put her arms out straight, palms facing Ven. “It’s what the Land of Departure became to keep you safe from harm! All a ghastly white, that is where they were born, and it’s where I spent many  **horrible** months. They made Yoake to trick Sora, I think? But then they made their own path, and decided to become their own person, not just ‘Riku, again’.” She paused, and smiled very softly. “Sora spoke to them about their heart being unique, their own, in the way that only Sora can. I think it struck a chord with them, because they’ve worked hard to become their own person since.”

Ven nodded, wrapping his head around the idea. Replicas just held a heart, didn’t they? He knew Xion had been one of the first, but that’s all that he’d managed to collect from Roxas’ random rambles while they trained. Perhaps this Yoake had also been one of the first? He wasn’t sure about the order of events. He didn’t doubt that Yoake had  _ always _ been their own person, even if they had been made with the original intent to be ‘Riku, again’. Maybe there was too much he simply didn’t understand, couldn’t understand, but the base sentiment was still the same. Vanitas was his own person from day one, too.

“Naminé, what about the other one you mentioned? The one in the Organization? Oh--”

He held his hands up in front of him. “Not, um… not if it’s too personal, I--”

Naminé took his hands, holding his fingers with the utmost care, just as he always did with hers. “Ven, you’re my very best friend. I promise, it’s not too personal at all, it’s just that it’s… very difficult to say.” She set their hands down. “There are a lot of things that you haven’t seen, that you haven’t gone through, because you were asleep, or elsewhere. So many things that bring such incredible hurt to the people who carry it; but I want to share some with you. You’ve shared your hurt, and I feel like you would want me to share mine, as well.”

Ven squeezed her hands. “Of course I would. We carry it together, okay?”

“Of course.” She smiled at him, eyes reflecting how warmly she thought of him. They stayed that way for a few brief, heartfelt moments, and then she shut her eyes, the frown that sat on her face setting in deep.

“The Riku you and I know is eighteen. Yoake, he’s seventeen now. The Replica Riku from the Organization is most likely fifteen, since he’s been in a stasis similar to yours.”

If his curiosity hadn’t already peaked, it would have now. He leaned forward, tilting his head. “Similar how, Naminé?”

“His heart resides in Yoake’s. He is more aware than you were, but he’s still a heart within a heart. We’ve run a few tests, and we’re sure it can only happen because of how they have similar origins of being replicas of Riku. No one else can hold hearts like Sora can, and even with only one, I can see the strain it puts on Yoake.”

Ven scooted closer to her, switching their position so that  _ he _ was holding her fingers now, rubbing his thumb gently over them as she continued.

The small weight of Naminé’s hands sunk into Ven’s. “But it’s where the youngest wants to be. When we tried to give him his own body, he was furious. Really, it was fortunate that we got Yoake or him. I thought they’d been lost, but...” 

The sigh she released was shaky. “Sorry, I got distracted. Rightfully, he’s mad at how he came into being. It’s not something anybody wants, to be brought into existence for the sole purpose of being used as a vessel. When he opened his eyes, he began to scream at Yoake to absorb his heart and memories completely, to carry his pain and use it for something good, something right. Yoake and I didn’t understand what he meant, but then grabbed Yoake’s wrist, and in a snarl he asked, ‘What is the point to a Riku who can’t protect?’ He swore, Ven, that he was brought into existence being fundamentally broken. They had taken out what made him  **him** , and they emptied it out for another person. And when a heart didn’t fill him, he said that suffering did. Suffering, and longing, and  _ rage _ .”

Ven squeezed her hand. “But… Naminé, don’t you need a heart to feel those things?”

Tears started to stream down Naminé’s cheeks.

“He’s not empty. He never was, none of the Organization members were ever empty.” Vanitas’ insistence on being incomplete drifted into his mind. Was his heart truly incomplete? Or was that simply what he was told when he had cried out over his loneliness? The thought almost made him jolt up and begin searching again, but he wasn't going to abandon Naminé. Not now, not ever.

“When Nobodies are made, we don’t have hearts, but we are still human. Whatever gave us that first spark; be it joy, anger, love, or melancholy, it created a heart, and that heart is ours and ours alone. We had to build it from nothing. Some Nobodies, like Axel, were created normally, and thus were still themselves from when they were Somebodies. But Nobodies like Roxas and I, we were different. We had no memories, we were alone,”

Naminé’s eyes sparked with ferocious resentment.

“and we didn’t even look like our Somebodies.”

He wanted to ask why she had to look like Kairi, but even if she explained, he was sure he wouldn’t understand. It wasn’t something he could get, he hadn’t lived it. Even now, what she told him befuddled him, but he wanted her to know he was listening. She deserved to be heard.

“It’s the same for Replicas, too, which is why Yoake understood. Even if it hurts now, that doesn’t mean it will forever, and Yoake told him this. Then, they made him a deal: they would house, not absorb the younger. They said that you didn’t need to exist for another, that there can be so much worth within yourself, for yourself, and that he could find it; Yoake promised to show it to him personally.”

Her words made his heart twist, and tears sprang to his eyes. “Naminé, that’s… that’s so profound.”

Her eyes were red and her cheeks were damp with the proof that she felt the same. "I saw a flicker of hope in the younger’s eyes, Ven. Yoake and I aren't giving up on him, I know he will see the worth he carries just by existing."

  
  


"I dunno if it'll count for anything but… I'll hope, too." He put a hand on his heart. "I know he’ll be able to find what he needs. That self-fulfillment… I believe in him with my whole heart.”

“It counts for a lot.” Naminé smiled in a way that was different than she usually did: unrestrained in her elation. “I appreciate it, Ven.”

And Ven promised himself that he’d help her smile like that more often, because he’d never seen her so happy. “Well, tell me about Yoake!” He shifted the subject slightly, hoping that talking about them would keep her spirits high. “Like, you said they're seventeen, right?”

“Yes!” She let out a small giggle and the grinned stayed, and his heart soared. “They're a little bit younger than I am, and of course, quite a bit younger than Riku. They hate it, honestly.”

“Oh, I see.”

Ven nodded knowingly. “So they’re the baby sibling, I take it?”

Naminé scoffed, her cheeks flushing as she crossed her arms.

“That’s so sweet! Ah, and I know  _ you’ve _ been busy, but I wonder why Riku hasn’t talked about them?” He scratched his cheek as he thought aloud. “The way you talk about him and Yoake, it seems like they’re really close.”

Not that he and Riku spent a lot of time together, but he couldn’t understand why someone  wouldn’t want to blab about their sibling constantly.

After a  _ hmm _ , Naminé flopped over onto her back and spread out her arms.

“Riku and Yoake DO spend a lot of time together, at least, as much as Riku is able to afford. They just… probably haven't come up, especially if you're around Sora.”

“S--” Ven crawled over to and leant over Naminé, soaking up the concern in the area like a sponge and selfishly taking it all for himself. “Sora?”

“Um…” Naminé let out a horse-like noise, not unlike a whinny. “Sora and Yoake aren’t, um, supposed to be in contact…? It’s been that way for a couple of months now.”

“Did he do something to Sora?” Ven asked, his tone unkind.

“What?” Naminé giggled and waved his paranoia away without a care.

“Oh, Ven, it was totally the opposite. You see, Yoake feels like a big part of their identity was centered around Sora, and they wanted to completely redefine themself. Of course at first, they tried to do this with Sora around, like, they DO like him quite a lot. They gave it a fair chance, since it’s pretty hard to not be around Sora when you care about him so much.”

She paused and looked at Ven.

“Don’t tell Yoake I said that, by the way: they'd cuss me out. Anyways, Sora kept wanting to spend time with them, and you know how strongly Sora feels about the ones he loves; it overloaded Yoake and they kept running away, and naturally, Sora would chase after them. It caused a bunch of stress on both ends. You know, Yoake’s pretty fast. I mean, Sora’s fast, too, but you’ve seen Riku; Yoake’s got that same speed, and Sora couldn’t hope to catch up with them naturally. Obviously he caught them at some point, but Yoake refuses to tell me how. Their face goes bright red, but I'm not sure what it all means...”

After a few moments of silent pondering, Naminé focused herself again.

“Um… anyways, they had a talk, and they’re not seeing each other for a while, but they parted ways with a pinkie promise.”

Naminé’s pinkie found itself in her hand, and she held it up above her, gentle smile pulling across her face. Then, she brought it to her chest and sighed dreamily.

“Sora misses Yoake a lot,” she continued, “and doesn’t know they changed their name yet. They asked us not to talk about them in front of Sora, they don’t want to cause him unnecessary grief. I guess this is not… really on topic, but honestly, I don’t know why he talks to  **me** but not  **Sora** . I’m the one who…” 

She sighs. “Nevermind. It’s old stuff that would take much too long to explain. I’m not sure if I can, and I don’t wanna ruin our picnic, either.”

Ven took his place next to her, slipping under her arm and then flopping it over his stomach. “You aren’t ruining anything at all.” He tried to smile, but a yawn forced its way instead. He waved his hands in apology, worried that he was going to hurt her feelings. “Sorry, sorry. I’m a little tired, I guess. Back on topic, though: if it stresses you out, we can drop it.”

The look on her face was more than relieved. “Thank you.”

She rolled onto her side and put her face on his stomach, forcing him to push himself up a bit to look at her. “Please, Ven, you can take a nap if you wish? I don’t, uh--” Naminé frowned. “I’m afraid I don’t have any blankets, unfortunately.”

“ _ Pshh _ , that’s fine!” Ven put his hands behind his head as a makeshift pillow as he leant back down, content to heed her request. It wasn’t like it would hurt anything, and her presence activated something in his brain that made him sleepy, anyways. Probably for the best, since he had started having nightmares again. His eyes fluttered close.

“I don't sleep with any.”

“You…” She went quiet for a few seconds before the weight from his stomach lifted and rustling sounded. “Sleep well, Ven.”

He did, though he wasn’t sure for how long. Before he opened his eyes, he could feel a weight on his chest, heavier and more direct than Naminé’s head had been. He opened one eye to peek, and was surprised to see Chirithy sound asleep. Blonde movement caught his attention and Ven glanced to the right to where Naminé was sitting, legs folded to make a hard surface for her drawing pad, which she drew in with the utmost care.

When she glanced up to look at her subjects, her eyebrows shot up in surprise. Ven opened his mouth to ask her how her art was going, but she quickly put her index finger over her lips in a shushing manner. With her other hand, Naminé pointed between him and Chirithy, then made a scribbling motion in the air. She must have drawn them! Had she really gotten to work that fast? How far had she gotten? His heart swelled so big and full at the thought, and Chirithy squeaked awake with a jump. Another squeak escaped the Dream Eater as he saw Naminé, and he poofed out of sight.

Naminé let out a frustrated huff. “Aw, come on, Chirithy!’ After Chirithy continued to hide, Naminé began to tap her colored pencil on her chin. “You don’t have any reason to be scared, Chirithy. Kairi, Sora, and Ven have told me all about you, and I've been so patient! I would like to meet you formally,  _ aaaand  _ show you the drawing of you and Ven that I just finished!” She pursed her lips and picked it up. “It’s colored, too... just so you know.”

Chirithy poofed in front of her, taken aback when she didn’t flinch. 

“Uh…” He hopped a little closer towards her. “Can I… see it?”

With pride, she tossed her pencil to the wayside so she could flip it up and around, displaying it to each of them. In brilliant bursts of color, Ven and Chirithy slept on top of the flowers and stone, their empty bowls placed around them to provide extra pops of neon. Ven had to admit, he looked so serene, he almost didn’t realize it was him in that art. If he looked like this… no wonder people believed him when he said he was okay. He looked a Hell of a lot better than he felt.

Terra had been  _ so _ right about her art, and the differences between the art in Terra’s room and the piece in front of him was astounding. She improved so fast! He couldn't wait to show Terra, he hoped he would ramble about Naminé again. Ven always loved hearing him talk about her.

“This is beautiful, Nami!” He clasped his hands together. “Thank you!”

“You’re very welcome. It’s yours to keep!” She grabbed the picnic basket as she began to stand, “If you can grab my other bag, Riku is meeting us with the Gummi Ship in a few minutes at the gates. He offered to drop us off at the Land.”

“Well, gosh,” Ven took the bag as he sped past her. “you should’ve started with that.”

Naminé gave him a hard look as she chased after him, Chirithy following close behind.

\--

December had come and gone in a flash. He’d assured everyone that he was much too busy to receive any presents, and the greatest gift he could give them would be Vanitas’ safe return. As he walked through Corona’s forests for the third time that week, a thought floated into his mind. It was a thought he had had plenty of times before, but he had always pushed it down. Distracted as he thought of all the months that had passed, he let it linger longer than he should’ve.

Maybe Vanitas… didn’t  _ want _ to be found.

Aqua’s ringtone stopped the thought before it continued, and he picked it up swiftly.

“Hey, Aqua!”

Her smiling face was a welcome sight. It reminded him that he needed to spend more time with her, and soon.

“I’m so glad you picked up, Ven! Your birthday is tomorrow, you’ll be eighteen!”

All of the blood drained from Ven’s face in an instant. His mind spun, and he felt the ground shift from under him, as if the World had been put on an extreme tilt. The bag at his side weighed him down, making him feel  _ heavy,  _ **_heavy,_ ** **_heavy_ ** .

“Aqua, I… I have to talk to you l-later. I’m sorry.”

He almost didn’t push ‘end call’ before his phone slid out of his hand and to the ground.

His hands found their way to the sides of his head almost instantaneously.

Another birthday without Vanitas.

Another birthday that he was all alone.

Without a sound, he began to cry. It upset him greatly that he was still able to, that he still had tears left after all these months, and that bundle of thoughts and all the baggage that came with it just made him cry  _ harder _ . He didn’t cry often anymore, worried that he would sink in the oceans he had made during those first few months if any more tears left his eyes. But now, as he trembled violently,  _ silently _ , he wondered why he had stopped himself if it was going to accumulate into  this .

Against the grass, his phone started to vibrate. Ven sniffed and glanced at it as it continued it’s buzzes and hums- Aqua must have said something to one of his other siblings, and they would have let everyone else know after that. He was sure that his group text with Roxas, Sora, Xion, Naminé, and Kairi was getting mauled with messages, but if that one was, surely their individual chats were, too.

Chirithy rested himself against Ven’s leg and looked up at him, pleading. Still shaking, Ven reached a hand out and plucked his phone from the ground, dusting it off with care before opening up he and Aqua’s texts as he rested the other hand in Chirithy's soft fur.

VEN: I’m sorry for hanging up so suddenly, I just can’t have a birthday until Vanitas comes home.

He bit his lip.

VEN: I’m sorry.

Aqua’s reply was so fast that he didn’t have time to slip it back into his pocket.

AQUA<3: It’ll be soon, Ven. I know it will.

A pained smile set itself deep on Ven’s face. He appreciated the sentiment, but wasn’t so sure anymore. He was beginning to worry that everything had been for nothing, that all those months…

He glanced at the rest of his notifications, and with only a moment’s hesitation, he set his phone on silent and slipped it into his pocket. He would answer them later. He had more important matters to attend to, now.

  
  


\--

  
  


“Ven, we’ve been walking in circles for HOURS!” His Spirit wailed, surprising Ven so much that he jumped back  _ just _ enough topple backwards over a small purple mushroom.

“Well that’s not my fault.” He protested, accepting his shroomy fate as he pushed himself up to glare at Chirithy. “Everything here looks the same to me!”

Chirithy let out a sigh. “By the time you stop being lost, we’ll be in March. I am starting to think that we shouldn't have come to Wonderland in the first place!”

Before they could continue their argument, his phone began to ring with Kairi’s ringtone. He scooped it out of his pocket and glanced at the screen. A video call? He put it out in front of himself.

Kairi’s pout was merciless. She pointed at him through the phone.

“You better get your ass to the Land right now.”

He couldn’t stop looking at her… headband? Crown? Her outfit looked completely different, too: a long pink dress, a cool red jacket with big, poofy sleeves, and some necklaces he’d never seen before. Maybe she was going to a party?

“Kairi, what are you wearing?”

“My MASTER CEREMONY!” She practically shrieked, ignoring his question. Flawlessly, she went back to her normal volume, “Sora and Riku were supposed to tell you and they completely forgot!” Kairi let out a loud huff, but then smiled with a roll of her eyes. “It’s fine, since I can take care of it, but sometimes you can’t really count on  _ guys _ to do what you need.” She tilted her head. “You know what I mean, Ven?”

A strange warmth pushed its way into Ven’s heart and his cheeks . “Ah-- I--” 

He glanced over to a big, hanging red flower to his left, unable to look at Kairi, his free hand on his cheek as a giggle shot out of him. Something about her words…

“Yeah, I… I get what you mean...” He whispered, his voice delicate. Gears began to turn in his head; something about it was strange, but comforting… It was  _ correct _ to stand with Kairi in this sense, not Sora and Riku, but he couldn't...

“And, uh--” Kairi interrupted his revelation by putting the phone on a table and backing up a bit. In the view, she waved at him and did a single spin.

“What do you think? My friend Aerith let me borrow the clothes, but I made the crown myself. A little Destiny Islands pride seemed appropriate, since we have two Masters, now!”

He sat up and nodded. “Definitely! I think the crown is my favorite, I really like the paopus. Aren’t those heavy, though?”

“Nope!” She pulled up a chair and flopped into it, sitting close to the phone again as she motioned around with her hands to add more to her speech. “We picked ‘em prematurely, which one of Sora’s moms said is normal for festivals and the like. They still have that yellow, but their leaves are curly and the fruits are light, y'see?”

“I think it makes you shine brighter than usual,” Ven praised, “the leaves curl around your face and make you look even cuter. You’re radiant; it’s perfect for a Master Ceremony, if you ask me.”

Kairi flipped her hair, leaning back and smiling like a cat, basking in the attention she received. She stopped, blinked, then waved their conversation away.

“Anyways, get over here! Now! I won’t wait for you!”

She paused again, something personal reflecting in her eyes. “I… Well, I can stall for  _ you _ , but only because it’s a special situation. But, if I peek out, and you aren’t sitting in the front row, you’re gonna get it, dude!”

“I--” Ven smirked, “As you wish, your highness.” and winked, which made her giggle.

“Stop being cheeky and get your glider already! See you in a sec!”

She hung up before he could goof around any more, leaving Chirithy glaring at him with his hands on his little cat hips.

“You are  _ so _ \--”

“Shh!” Ven shushed him, unwilling to hear a lecture on why he shouldn’t make his best friends laugh. He whipped out Wayward Wind and summoned his glider in excitement, tapping the charm on his straps to summon his armor. When he hopped on, Chirithy backflipped out of sight, and with a quick portal summoning, he was gone in a flash.

Having left the land just as dawn had started to creep over the horizon, he was surprised to see chairs and benches set up in two columns in the throne room. Of course, it wasn’t an actual throne room, but ever since Xion had joked about it being one, he had begun to call it that. There were lots of people he didn’t recognize, but it wasn’t hard to spot Naminé in her neon blue dress sitting next to Sora, who wore two bright party hats on his head, and Riku in the front row. Naminé sat on the innermost edge of the bench, while Riku, then Sora, sat on her right. He hurried over to them, leaning over with a wave.

“VEN!” They all cried in unison, Naminé and Sora jumping up and almost knocking him over with hugs. He nuzzled into them, wrapping an arm around each.

“Hey! Long time no see, guys!”

Sora pulled away first, taking the hand that Ven had rested on his back and moving it to the space above his heart. “I’m sorry that Riku and I forgot.” 

Riku waved to Ven and bowed his head in apology.

“It’s cool, you guys.”

He gave Sora’s hair a quick ruffle, then looked at Riku with a grin.

“Kairi told me, so I was able to make it. No worries!”

Naminé finally pulled away, taking Ven’s free hand. “She totally chewed them out.” She grinned and began to swing their arms. “There was a teeny bit of threatening involved.”

A mischievous grin curled onto Ven's face as he tugged his hand out of Sora’s and wrapped an arm around his head, pulling his brother in close so he could rub his cheek against his hair.

“Aw, you poor little guy. Poor little dude! I can only imagine what she said.”

Riku barked out a laugh and leant back, resting his elbows against the backrest.

“You might not wanna know..." He spoke, playfully, "Words hold so much power, especially Kairi’s.”

“A selfie!” Sora pulled out his phone and swiveled his arm behind Ven’s head, holding his phone in front of the two of them. Naminé leaned into Ven and grinned, and then a light flashed. Sora held the phone out to her and Ven, and what was on the screen made him gasp. Naminé, Sora, and him; Sora looking at the screen with a lopsided grin as his eyes sparkled with joy, Naminé’s grin, and Ven with his eyes squeezed as he squished his cheek against Sora’s head. They both had put peace signs behind Ven’s head.

Ven pursed his lips. “Um… ‘Selphie’?

Riku tried to cover his snicker, but Ven heard him over the noise of the rest of the people in the room and shot him a glare. 

Gently, Naminé cradled Ven’s cheek in her hand to grab his attention. “No. Self-ie, like an image of yourself. He took a picture of us on his phone; didn’t you know about that?”

“YOU CAN TAKE--” Ven crossed his arms over his chest. “How come nobody told me?”

The giggle Sora let out was high-pitched and erratic. “No way! I can’t believe somebody knows less about technology than I do! So you didn’t know what these,” he put the peace sign behind his head, “are, right?”

He didn’t wait for Ven to respond. “These are bunny ears!” Sora held out his palm to Naminé and she gave it a light pap. “The teamwork on Nami and I’s part was pretty cool!”

“He’s got the vibes. The bunny vibes," she said.

Ven whirled around to face her, putting his hands on his hips for the extra oomph.

“Well what does that mean?!” 

“Ven!”

Naminé tugged on his ear and he let out an embarrassing peep. Before he could ask her why she would embarrass him like that, in front of Kingdom Hearts and everyone, she motioned towards their left. He followed the invisible line she’d made to the top of the stairs to see Kairi’s head peeking around a corner, scanning the room. When Kairi spotted Ven, she gasped, grinned, and fist-pumped. The motion made Ven’s heart swell with love, and he waved at her. She waved back, glanced to the back of the room, and disappeared into a flash of sparkles.

Aqua walked down the aisle, heels clacking softly against the floor. A hush fell over the room, and Naminé gently shoved Ven and Sora to sit. Ven placed himself next to Riku and smiled at him, but Sora squished himself between them and pushed Ven into Naminé, which gained a quiet giggle from Riku.

When Aqua spotted Ven, she did a barely-noticeable doubletake, but she didn’t lose her grace nor her elegance as she continued to the front. She stopped in front of the middle throne, then turned to face everyone.

“Greetings, everyone, and I thank you for coming. My name is Master Aqua, and I am here to announce the passing of powers to one who has succeeded in the trials I have placed upon her.”

Kairi, glowing with pride, strolled through the aisle, then to Aqua’s side, where she took a knee and closed her eyes. With concentrated care Aqua reached out her arm, and in bubbles and light, Brightcrest appeared in her grasp. Many people  _ oohed _ and  _ aahed _ at the curling blues and golds, and while Ven stayed quiet, he was surprised to see it. He’d been seeing it more and more during training, but he had assumed that she had just been switching out to keep things interesting. Was she using Brightcrest more, as he had been using Lost Memory?

Aqua’s voice sounded in a burst of power and love as she rested Brightcrest on Kairi’s right shoulder.

“Kairi; resident of Destiny Islands, Wielder of the Keyblade, and Princess of Heart. You have risen above and beyond the call of Destiny, following your heart as it guided you into strength and radiance greater than you could have ever envisioned.”

She moved Brightcrest onto Kairi’s left shoulder.

“You have bested foes who have fallen even our strongest allies, and you now bend destiny to your will with effortless finesse. Will you accept my bestowment of ‘Master’ onto your name, so you may now, more than ever, carry out Kingdom Hearts’ will and protect those you cherish?”

Kairi opened her eyes and raised her head.

“I do.”

“Then rise, Kairi.”

Kairi rose, and Aqua pointed her key to the ground, holding out her Key’s handle to Kairi. Kairi wrapped her fingers around it, and Brightcrest began to glow.

Aqua took a deep breath and smiled.

“In your hand, you’ve taken this Key. You have forged the makings, and through this simple act of taking, it’s Master you shall now be. And you have found me, friend-- no oceans have contained you, then. No more borders around, or below, or above, as you have continued to champion the ones you love.”

The Key dimmed, and Aqua held out her hand. Kairi took it, and Aqua lifted their joined hands high. “Everyone,” Aqua boomed, “I introduce you, now, to our newest Master of the Keyblade: Master Kairi.”

At the same time, he, Naminé, Riku, and Sora all stood up, clapping and hollering loudly. Sora cupped his hands over his mouth and  _ whooped _ , and behind him he could hear others doing the same. Kairi blushed, her serious façade being broken by a crooked grin. Aqua dropped their hands and gave her a hug and a kiss on the head before raising her arm to call everyone’s attention.

“If you all would like to stay for refreshments and desserts,” with a wave of her hand, tables appeared where the thrones had been, “I welcome you. The Land is open for everyone until Kairi deems her party over.” 

Streamers and confetti began to drift down from the ceiling out of thin air, balloons and ribbons manifesting from the ground as if sprouting from seeds. The once plain halls were now filled with bursts of color and light, and it made Ven giddy. He reached out a hand to one of the larger pieces of confetti, and as soon as he touched it, it popped in a burst of color. He laughed and looked to Riku, who looked like he was trying not to show that he was just as giddy as Ven. 

He wished his home could always look like this, but most of all, he wished Vanitas could be here to enjoy it. He held hope in his heart that his brother would love it just as much as he did. In fact… he took out his phone and quickly figured out the camera function, snapping a picture of the room as he poked his eyes into frame. Ven smiled down at his work; a piece of memory for Vanitas, who couldn't make it. He couldn't wait to tell him all about it!

Kairi began to walk over to Ven and his group, but Selphie and Olette ran over to her and almost knocked her over, stopping her in her tracks. Selphie kissed her cheek and Olette gracefully took her hand, planting a kiss on it as she bowed low. Kairi let out a squeak as she covered her face, but Selphie and Olette pulled her hands away and planted more kisses on her cheeks.

Sora giggled and turned to Riku, making kissy faces to tease her, and Riku pushed his face away with a laugh as his cheeks turned rosy. Naminé sighed dreamily and leant her head on Ven’s shoulder.

“She told them not to do so much PDA, but the funniest part is that she thought they would listen to her.”

He wasn't sure how to bring it up, so he went with the most blatant way. “Are they, um… together?” Ven asked, glancing at Naminé.

“Gosh, no.” Naminé sighed, either ignoring Ven’s awkwardness or not processing it. “Kairi’s been too busy. She doesn’t have time to commit herself to a relationship like that, and those are  _ her _ words, just so you know. That doesn’t stop her from experiencing the emotions, but she can’t be official with anyone right now.”

Ven nodded, scratching his cheek. “I see... Well, I’m happy for them, either way!”

Kairi was in front of them in an instant, and just as soon as Naminé pulled her head off of Ven’s shoulder, Kairi intertwined her and Ven’s fingers and spun the two of them around as Ven felt her signature spark to his heart.

“Ven! Ven!” She hugged him, pushing herself up with her toes to be able to wrap her arms around his head. More shocks went to his heart, and his cheeks heated. 

“K-Kairi! That was so cool!” He wheezed, jumping a bit at the spark when she pulled away just to intertwine their fingers again.

“Of course it was! That was way sicker than Terra's was.” A squeeze of his hands, and she looked up at him with round, pleading eyes. “You’re staying for a while, aren’t you?”

His heart began to sink with guilt. “Ah, well…” He glanced to Naminé, Sora, and Riku, who all had differing levels of hope mixed in with their apprehension. Ven turned his attention back to Kairi. “I can stay for a little bit, but my attention is starting to drift to Vanitas. I don’t want to lose too much light, Kairi.”

She wiggled their arms a bit, pondering what to say, before leaning towards him a bit, bringing her voice to a whisper.

“I’ve told you once, and I’ll tell you a thousand times more if I must. Vanitas would want you to spend time with your friends. He’d want you to enjoy yourself.”

Kairi reached her thumb up to his cheek and gently wiped away tears that he hadn't noticed. His eyebrows rose in surprise, but she shook her head.

“There’s a lot of feelings in the air right now. Take it slow, for me. Okay?”

She gave his hands one last squeeze before running over to Riku, who picked her up by her torso and spun her around in the air while Sora wailed in joy.

Ven turned away from them and wiped the last stray tears from his eyes with his palm. A hand placed itself gently on his arm, and he turned to see Naminé, eyes filled with understanding.

“I’ll stay by your side, Ventus, so you don’t have to sit around on your own.”

“Aw, Nam--”

She shook her head. “It’s not like I can hang out with Kairi right now, anyways. Lots of people are going to congratulate her and want to visit with her, she’s pretty popular, y’know!”

Naminé tilted her head over to Kairi, who was surrounded by people he didn’t recognize as well as Aqua and Terra, who were expressively telling the others how swiftly and gracefully Kairi had decimated Terra in combat, much to her complete embarrassment. Had she already fluttered away from Riku and Sora? He couldn't see them anymore.

There were two more that made a big, quiet hole in the room. “What about--” Ven looked around, and with all the faces, he still couldn’t see them.

“Xion and Roxas?”

Naminé giggled. “Let’s call it… Sea-Salt business, hm? They couldn’t make it to the ceremony, but they’ll be here when they can. It shouldn’t be too much longer, and--” She held up a finger. “they will be very excited to see you. The once-a-month sleepovers and twice-weekly hangouts aren’t enough for them, still.”

Anxiety began to creep into Ven’s heart, but he tried to push it down. There was no real point in getting anxious now, and he tried to remind himself that he was doing everything he could. He was just worried that it would  _ never _ be enough, that he could  _ never _ do enough.

Naminé led the two of them over to the refreshments table, pouring them glasses of Sora’s paopu juice.

“How much juice did he make?” Ven asked, after taking a sip. “It had to be a lot, in preparation for all these people.” He motioned towards the party.

A sip of her own juice, and she shrugged. “Well, with his business picking up, he’s been having Roxas, Xion, and Riku help him with making the juice. He insists on being the one to deliver it all, though. It’s very popular on the Islands, and of course, everywhere he introduces it to. Even with their help, Sora almost can’t keep up with the demand. Of course,”

She smirked, “you being such a loyal customer doesn’t make his workload any lighter.”

“Well--”

“And your training has been paying off.” She poked the bicep closest to her as they began to mindlessly wander the building. “Your muscles keep getting bigger. I doubt I can wrap a hand around them anymore.”

He shrugged. “Well, I’m no Riku. I think it’d be nice to get to that point, though.”

Naminé snickered. “Oh, so you’re looking at his muscles now, are you?”

Ven jumped back a foot and held his hands out in front of him like a shield, his face turning beet red.

“NO. I WOULD N--” He let out a laugh. “UM…”

  
  


Naminé brought her juice up to her mouth and looked away, forcing herself to mind her own business as she tried not to laugh. When she finished, she considered him, seeming to reason something with herself.

“...Would you share a memory of Vanitas with me?”

“Vanitas?” Ven repeated, still dizzy from the sudden heat. The subject change was enough to rattle him back to his senses, and after a few moments of extra recovery, he nodded. A memory? There were so many good ones, how was he supposed to choose? He was pretty sure Naminé hadn't even met Vanitas, and he always wanted to share good memories so others could feel just as lovingly towards his brother as he did. What was something that was so  **_endearing--_ **

Ven knew.

He crossed his arms and slumped against the hall’s wall, sinking to the bottom. When he was firmly on the ground, he began to speak.

“Gladly! I treated him to salad once!”

She raised an eyebrow, sitting on his left. “Um… Salad?”

“RIGHT?” He overdramatically rolled his eyes. “Not something that you'd think Mister 'Look At Me I Am Darkness Incarnate' would be hungry for, but I don't judge. It was a shot in the dark in the first place, what with him trying to avoid me and all. He usually said no, but I kept trying, and finally he said yes! To salads, of course.”

She nodded.

“I don't even…" Ven huffed. "Like, what about the  salads made him-- I'm getting off topic.”

Dragging his hands down his face, he groaned, “I feel bad for the cashier who had to watch us bicker… Vanitas was all like, ‘No, don't buy me goods, I hate taking from people’, and I was like, ‘You aren't taking anything from me, I am whole-heartedly giving it to you.’ but he's sooo stubborn.”

Ven sighed, and after a moment, a scheming smile curved onto his lips. 

“Anyways, he scarfed that shit down as soon as we sat down.”

Naminé shoved him, but she grinned all the same. “Ventus!” 

"Sorry!!" He winked in apology. "I've been hanging out with Roxas and Xion a lot, I guess…” An awkward giggle, and he leaned away from her in embarrassment. “...I’ve picked up their speaking habits?"

She scoffed. "Oh, please, I'm fine with that. They're my best friends, I hear them speak constantly. You were the one who said he didn't want to slip up in front of Aqua and Terra. I'm trying to keep you focused, Ventus!"

“Well,” Ven giggled again, less awkwardly this time. “thanks! You're so dependent.” 

That didn't sound right.

“Dependable?”

He looked to her for help, as she had always been far better with words than he had, but the look on her face told him that he had gotten sidetracked again.

“OH, right, um… So, we mostly sat in silence, but I noticed a few things. For one, when Vanitas is lost in thought, he'll sway from right to left and jiggle his leg. I thought that was really cute of him! His eyes draw in the light from the surrounding area, as gold as they are. It's hard not to stare, y'know? And nobody else has those bright golds like he does, like, I swear they're gradients to-to almost an orange, and..." 

Ven stopped.

He let out a sigh.

"I miss him."

She put a hand over his and leant into him. "The love and warmth you feel for Vanitas makes you shine so beautifully. Your eyes sparkle in such a specific way when you speak of him," Naminé purred. "I can tell he means all the Worlds and more to you."

A grin spread across Ven's face, and he held his hands in front of him, trying to shield his face as it started to burn. He really had just started saying all of that, hadn't he?

“Aw, geez, I mean? I-I mean, sure! He's just, um…" He let out a breathy laugh. "He's great. I think you'd love him, Naminé."

She looked at Ven's hands, and he could have sworn she looked melancholic.

"I'm sure I would, too."

"There you two are!" Riku jogged up to them before slipping into a dash and sliding along the floor. Ven quickly pulled his knees up against his chest as Riku slowed to a halt right in front of Naminé, grinning up at her and Ven.

"Kairi's been looking for you."

"And what," Ven rested his cheek against his knees. "are you supposed to be our delivery boy?"

"Why?" Riku tilted his head cutely. "Would you like me to put a bow on you before I hand you to Kairi?"

Ven's cheeks heated up, and he looked away with a  _ tch _ .

"Riku!" Naminé flicked Riku's cheek, and he turned his attention back to her. "Don’t be weird. Besides, we have more important matters to discuss. I've been meaning to ask you: how did your mission in the Realm of Darkness go?"

Ven stayed silent, his eyes darting to Riku. The Realm of Darkness? That was the only place he hadn't...

"It went pretty well, actually! Mickey was a big help, and we got more intel than we thought we would. It was supposed to be a normal patrol, but it went better than that." He let out a soft  _ hmm _ . "If that makes sense?"

"How do you end up in the Realm of Darkness?" Ven asked, suddenly.

Riku and Naminé exchanged glances, and Riku sat up, looking more than a little uneasy.

"Portals are always a good bet to get in, though they are hard to open. Most people who are lost will wander the Realm of Darkness until they expire, especially if they're alone. It's a cold, dark place where light can't survive. It's a  **bad** idea to go by yourself, Ven."

Ven didn't hear Riku's warning, his mind already racing. People who are lost, alone… wandering until they-- He stood up and vaulted over Riku.

"I'm going to go say goodbye to everyone!" Ven called behind him, rushing towards and up the steps with a dangerous speed.

Naminé and Riku were quicker than he had assumed, or perhaps Riku's pretty teleport could simply go farther than he'd first thought. Just before he reached the very top step, they each grabbed an arm and pulled him back. Ven, unable to account for the weight in the time they gave him, lost his balance and fell backwards; Riku was there to catch him gently by the torso. 

Ven tried to squirm away, both out of embarrassment and wanting to be free, but Riku wrapped his arms around Ven’s torso and pulled him closer, holding him back. Ven opened his mouth to curse at Riku as his cheeks burned, but Naminé stepped into Ven’s view and held a finger to her lips to quiet him, cocking her head towards the other staircase. Ven stopped his wiggling.

Up the other steps came a thunderous roar as Lea, Xion, and Roxas yelled, holding their hands around their mouths to make themselves louder. When Kairi twirled and spotted them, she wailed right back. The Sea-Salts bulldozed their way to Kairi as she met their speed with the same intensity, and when their paths met, Kairi scooped Lea up, lifted him over her head, and faced Isa, who still stood at the stairs where they had left him, an incredulous look on his face.

"HOLD YOUR BOYFRIEND, I HAVE FRIENDS TO GREET!" She ordered, chucking Lea gracelessly towards Isa as he booked it to catch his aforementioned boyfriend.

Roxas and Xion's cackles were unforgiving and they quickly clung to Kairi, begging her to throw them in the same manner. She did as requested of her, forcing Isa into a run-around loop of panic as he ran around catching his friends, safely setting them down and running to catch the next one as the one he set down ran back to Kairi.

“Oh my God.” Riku whispered, his voice twinging with a hint of fear. “They’re kind of, uh…” Ven heard a soft exhale out of Riku’s nose as he seemed to be unable to come up with a word that wouldn’t sound insulting.

Ven glanced to Naminé. “I… I guess I’ll leave right after I see Roxas and Xion.”

Riku pushed him up carefully, glancing at Ven’s footing to make sure it was stable. He cracked a shy smile, and rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry for the…” He laughed, awkwardly. “I wasn’t sure how else to stop you, at the time.”

“Its. Fine.” Ven held his hands behind his back, looking at the railing, being unable to look at Riku, unable to say more in fear of confessing that if Riku had just asked, he would’ve been more than okay with it. “No big deal, I guess.”

Riku nodded to Naminé, gave a hesitant wave to Ven, and slipped out of the stairwell. Ven turned to leave the same way, but Naminé swerved in front of him and boldly took his straps into her fist. She pulled him towards her, raising an eyebrow.

“You’re not sidestepping quality time with us, Ventus.”

Ven squeaked in surprise, his heart pounding at the gesture. “Uh--” He laughed and held up his hands in defeat. “W-Well, I can’t argue with logic like that, now can I?”

A smile spread across Naminé’s face. She snapped his straps back sweetly, stunning him.

Isa’s circle of Hell stopped as Roxas spotted the pair.

“XION!” Roxas called, as Xion was lifted up over Kairi’s head.

Xion's face hardened with determination, and after a swift nod to Roxas, she gave Kairi a thumbs up, and Kairi tossed her hard in Ven’s direction. As Xion rocketed through the air, Roxas outstretched his arm above him. She grabbed his wrist as she blew past, spinning him around in an upwards arc and chucking him twice as hard at Ven.

“Naminé, **get** **back**.” Ven ordered in a rush, holding out his arms to catch his brother and shifting his stance to brace himself for impact. As soon as she jumped back, Roxas landed. Even with Ven pushing his feet against the floor, they slid a few inches, and Ven had to twist around and throw himself ass-first on the ground so that they didn’t tumble down the stairs. Roxas gently landed in his lap, eyebrows up high as he seemed to process what fate had almost befallen them.

He threw the processing out as soon as it entered his brain.

“Ven!!” Roxas kicked his legs as he wrapped his arms around his sibling’s neck, nuzzling him. “It’s so great to see you, I’m so glad you-- Hey, why didn’t you dress up?” Roxas leant back, scrutinizing his normal clothes. “It’s a  **party** , silly! What, did you not have clothes? You should’ve said something, I would have helped you.”

Xion joined Roxas in Ven’s lap, and the added weight knocked the wind out of him.

He flopped over onto his back with a wheeze.

“T...Two…”

“TWO!?” Xion and Roxas gasped in unison.

“Oh, wait.” Xion tapped her temple. “He means the two of us, right, Vennie?” She took a quick, non-helpful glance at Ven, then turned back to Roxas. “ I think we’re ‘two’ heavy for him.” She quietly wheeze-laughed at her joke.

A disgusted  _ tch _ , and Roxas crossed his arms over his chest. 

“Well, that’s his personal problem, isn’t it.”

“Oi, Ven, how come you’re not dressed up?” Xion asked, _ booping _ him on the nose. “You’re at a party.”

“That’s what  _ I _ said!” Roxas threw his hands up in the air. “It’s just not romantic at all!”

“Who said ANYTHING--” Ven finally pulled himself up, giving them simultaneous noogies, “--WHAT are you TALKING about?”

Naminé finally stepped in, holding out her hands. “You two have to get off of Ven, c’mon now! We don’t want him to pass out.”

Xion was the first to grab her hand, standing up quickly. Naminé raised an eyebrow, shaking her hand a little in Roxas’ direction.

“Rooooox?”

“I’m comfy.” He grumbled, wrapping his arms around Ven again and hiding his face in the crook of Ven’s neck. “Besides, I missed Ven. I just wanna sit here for a little while. Make him stay.”

Ven pushed his head against Rox’s, and all he could do was smile. Roxas was so cute sometimes; honestly, it reminded him of Vanitas. He looked up at Xion.

“If it’s okay to ask, why were you guys late?”

Roxas shifted a bit to look at Xion. They stared at each other for a few seconds, the air intense with something he didn’t pick up on. Before he could ask, Xion squatted down and put her hand in Rox’s. He squeezed it.

“Lea was having trouble getting out of bed today. You know how it is sometimes, you can’t formulate a reason that’s ‘worth it’ on your own. We reminded him that Kairi wanted to see him, and that you’d be here, as well as Naminé and everyone else.”

Ven’s heart grew twice in size. It was nice that Lea’s big brother instincts kicked in hard enough to give him that spark he needed to get up and go. By the looks of things… Ven glanced over to see Kairi holding him like a big, awkward baby. Lea must’ve felt tons better already, and that made his heart warm like a fire. He would have to check on him later today.

“We, uh…” Roxas murmured, “we had to physically pull him out of bed. Isa and Xion did most of the work on that front, though. If you haven’t noticed, I’m great with words, sooo…”

“Yeah, and you hate doing heavy lifting.” Naminé teased. “That’s not new information.”

Xion and Roxas tugged Ven and Naminé around with them for another hour as they visited with all of their friends, but at one point, Ven got distracted. When he looked back, the trio had separated from him, talking to one another excitedly. He took a step towards them, but stopped. It was fine to be on his own for a bit, right? They seemed so wrapped up in their conversation, too... He turned to go grab some more paopu juice.

He stayed quiet as he poured, his mind wandering. Would Vanitas like paopu juice? His friends made fun of him for being so obsessed with it, but it really was good, and what blame could he take for simply having taste? Another thought appeared, and he wondered if Vanitas had ever tried a paopu? Of course, on your own, the legends about it didn’t matter: he knew it was the sharing that really mattered, in the end. Maybe, when he brought Vanitas home, they could--

“ _ Oof! _ ” He smacked right into someone’s back and bounced off, rubbing his nose as he hunched over. His little paper cup had gotten crushed, and he was thankful that he had chugged it down as quickly as he had.

“Oh, I-I’m sorry!” He looked up at the person and found his eyes drawn to the man’s bright blue bandana.

“Ah man, you must be the person that Kairi likes!” He said, leaning around to get a better look at Ven.

Ven’s mind cleared.

“ **HUH?!** ” He  _ squeaked _ , hurting his throat in the process.

“Oh my God, Wakka, please!” Selphie came to his rescue, wrapping an arm around Wakka’s. “You can’t speak so bluntly! You must speak gently; he’s fragile, like a fawn.”

She turned her attention to Ven, smiling apologetically.

“Hi, Ven. Sorry about Wakka, he’s been playing too much Blitzball.”

“I’d say he hasn’t been playing enough!” Tidus spoke before Ven saw him, and wrapped an arm around Ven’s shoulder, pulling himself close to Ven. He leaned his face in and smiled.

“Great to see you, Ven! Selphie and I have missed you pretty bad, you left  _ quite _ the impression.”

“BLITZBALL HAS ROTTED BOTH OF YOUR BRAINS!” Selphie groaned.

Taking a fistful of Ven’s collar, she flung him away from Tidus and pushed him into Wakka, putting herself between the pair and Ven. Her arm extended fully, she held Ven up by his straps as he dangled behind her, his head slack and his mind a buzz of thoughts and swirls as his face went bright pink. Were people going to keep grabbing him and flipping him to and fro, fro and to, like a barely held-together ragdoll? He wasn’t sure his heart could take much more.

“Please learn how to interact with people who you barely know!”

“Guys, what’s going on, I-- Ventus?” Kairi squatted into his vision. When he finally realized who was in front of him he gasped, to which she smirked and helped him up, not without a spark to each of them, making him have to lean more into her for emotional support. She held onto his forearms as he steadied himself, and he stared into her eyes blankly. When he finally realized, again, where he was, he squeaked and shot up straight, backing up and almost knocking Selphie over.

“Kairi! Kairi, I’m fine! Hi, Kairi!” He rambled, before someone gently put their hands on his arms.

She leaned around to look at him, an eyebrow raised. Was that Olette?

“Ven? Are you okay?”

He nodded, putting his hands on his cheeks. He really didn’t think he could take any more, he was much too overwhelmed. Olette gave him a sympathetic smile and a slight hug.

A tall blonde kid walked around to his front, face scrunched as he looked at him.

“This has  **gotta** be Roxas’ weird look alike cousin-sibling-person… Did he say his name was Ven? Huh, y’know, you gotta be the kid that everybody calls a freak, too! Just look at’cha.”

A shorter kid pushed his head down.

“Hayner, you can’t just say that.”

“Finally!”

Selphie took the shorter kid’s hand and grinned at him. “Thank you, Pence! I’m so glad somebody understands that you can’t just say things to Ven!” She motioned to Ven, then rested her cheek in her hand. “Look at him, not like Roxas at all. He’s so delicate.”

Ven pulled away from Olette, putting his hands on his hips.

“I’m not some baby!” He defended. “I’ve been through a lot, actually!”

Wakka stepped forward and rubbed his head. “We all have, ya? We’re just teasin’ ya, kiddo, you almost make it too easy!” He let out a warm bubble of a laugh, then gave his head another rub. “Ven, was it? I’m Wakka, it’s great to meet’cha.”

Ven shook his head, nodding.

“Um… you as well!” He looked over to…

“Pence and Hayner, was it? Olette’s mentioned you a few times.”

“You met  her ,” Hayner pointed to Olette, who placed herself next to Ven, “but not  US ?”

Olette let out a soft giggle. “Roxas introduced us months and months back. If you wanna yell, you’re gonna want to find him.” She pointed in front of them, where Roxas calmly talked with Sora and Naminé. “He’s over there,” She tattled.

“ **Damnit** !” Hayner grabbed Pence’s hand and tugged him towards Roxas. Pence waved at Ven in apology, and then Kairi took Ven’s hand, sending a shock to him once again.

“Come on, Ven! Lea and Isa wanted to say hi!”

“Oh…” He let himself be led to their table, watching as Olette waved goodbye and drew further and further away. “...Yeah!”

She glanced back. “Ven…” Kairi stopped and turned, taking his other hand in hers. He squeaked at the shock to his heart, and after a silent moment between them, he let out a laugh.

“I’ll never get used to that. I don’t even know why it happens, honestly…” Another laugh, and he let go of her hands, bringing them to his chest. “Sorry!”

“Are you okay?” Kairi asked.

He smiled at her and nodded, but he couldn’t find it in himself to speak. A normal, ‘oh, your friends just surprised me a bit, but I’m fine!’ would have sufficed, but the question held so much weight to it; he still hadn’t recovered from his birthday. It wasn’t a question he could just answer, not in the middle of this party- her party.

“Ven.” She reached a hand towards him, but stopped herself before her fingers touched his skin. “I mean…” Kairi sighed, and looked into his eyes.

“Are you really okay.”

She didn’t phrase it as a question. As if she knew that he wasn’t.

“You--” He pulled his hands into his chest, pushing them into the emblem Master Eraqus had given him. “Can’t use my line on me.  _ Please. _ ”

“Yo, Ven!” Lea waved an arm towards them, snapping them out of their moment and reminding Kairi that they were in the middle of her party. 

She squinted her eyes at Lea, then turned back to Ven, same expression on her face.

“I will wait for you, Ventus.” She swore, putting a hand on her chest. “However long it takes, I will wait until you’re ready.”

Instead of clarifying, Kairi took Ven’s hand, giving it a squeeze when they both were shocked. Then, she pulled him towards Lea and Isa, spinning him onto a chair opposite them.

“He’s all yours! Take good care of him.”

With a wave, she turned and walked away.

He visited with Lea and Isa for a bit, but he kept an eye on Kairi as she flittered between groups. Roxas’ friends and Kairi’s friends left, so did a few other groups of people, until the main area was just he, Lea, and Isa, and Kairi, Xion, and Riku. At one point, Naminé had passed by and asked if they wanted anything to drink, but when she had got to the refreshments table, Terra and Aqua had appeared out of thin air and began to have a heated debate about… Well, by how intense Aqua looked, he figured Naminé was keeping up her promise.

And, well… he didn’t have a clue where Roxas and Sora had run off to. As Lea and Isa talked about something or other, he glanced out to the setting sun. He hoped his brothers weren’t doing something dangerous and/or stupid, but with them? Who could say, really? 

“Kairi...” Riku’s voice broke into his thoughts, and he glanced in his direction. Their tables weren’t far from each other, though Kairi, Riku, and Xion had formed a circle of chairs as they sat on them backwards and faced one another.

“being a Princess of Heart must be a lot to deal with right? I mean, with all the pure heart stuff and getting captured.”

Kairi giggled and swirled her cup. “I’ve had a pretty good streak of not getting captured, and I don’t intend to break it. It’s not that much to ‘deal with’,” she made air quotes in the air, “besides, it’s fun. Especially the pure heart stuff; remember when I followed you around in those portals, Riku? The, uh… Dark Corridors?” She looked between Riku and Xion, and they both nodded. “Well, I wasn’t wearing one of those stuffy coats.”

Xion rolled her eyes, but Riku set his chin between his index finger and thumb.

“You weren’t…. wearing a…” the gears in Riku’s brain looked to be working very hard. Ven put a hand on his heart, believing in Riku with everything he had. 

Then, Riku gasped. 

“Oh my God, you weren’t! I didn’t even think about it, I-- Are you okay?”

A haughty laugh burst out of her, one that reminded Ven of how Roxas laughed when he got full of himself. He was a little amazed: if their laughs were so similar, then they must hang out a lot. It was so cute that he picked it up from her!

“Of course I am! I have such a pure heart that darkness can’t do SHIT to me!”

She raised her glass and Riku and Xion clinked their glasses to her’s.

“Is being a Princess based solely on the pureness of one’s heart?” Xion asked, more focused on the logistics than being silly at that moment. “I feel like there would be… well, to say it simply, quite a few more princesses, then.” She motioned towards Riku. “Riku would definitely be one, perhaps Sora, as well?”

Riku’s excitement from earlier fizzled. “I’m flattered, Xion, but I don’t think I’d wanna be a, um… Princess.” He rubbed the back of his neck, his shoulders going up as he looked to the ground. “Like, it’s not because I don’t like them, or anything, it’s--”

Xion shook her head and put a hand on his. “I understand where you’re coming from perfectly. There’s no need to explain yourself.” 

She gave him a knowing smile as if it were the icing on the cake.

“Well,” Kairi said, drawing the conversation back to her, “you can’t have more than seven, and it’s not as simple as the act of having a pure heart, either. If that were true, many people we know would be Princesses. While the idea is interesting to play with…” She sighed, and put her cup on the table behind her as her tone became deadly serious.

“I’ll be honest with you both, and retract my earlier statement. The idea is unrealistic at best, and dreadfully harmful at worst.”

“Harmful?" Xion asked, confused at how serious Kairi had turned. She glanced at Riku.

“Being a Princess is not some cute title that holds no meaning,” Kairi spoke, each word focused and hard, letting Ven get just a glimpse of her true feelings. He wanted to see more.

“It is not simple, nor is it fun. It’s hard, it’s grueling, it’s the worst sides of destiny, and you are bound to it by your very heart.” She placed her hands over her heart.

“If you manage to wiggle off your chains, they will just go to someone else. The cycle must continue, for Kingdom Hearts must have Her rulers, Her defenders. The ones who She can speak through, who can carry out Her direct wishes and wills. It is a terrible curse…" She glanced directly to Ven, making eye contact with him, "and yet, a wonderful blessing."

Ven’s cheeks burned, and he tilted his head away. Oh no, she had caught him eavesdropping! God, he was gonna get it for sure! Ugh, if Aqua and Terra knew he had been eavesdropping, they wouldn’t let him hear the end of it!

But he was so curious. He turned again, reasoning that he would apologize to her later.

Kairi had already turned to Riku and was smirking at him. 

“There’s an easy way to tell, either way. Check it out.” She reached her hands towards Riku’s and intertwined their fingers, pulling his hands closer to her so that he leant in, their faces mere inches apart.

“So, what do you feel, Riku?”

“Your hands are so soft…” He said, absentmindedly. “Wait.”

He leant back and brought their hands to his nose. Riku sniffed and Xion smacked her hand to her forehead, grabbing the back of her chair so she didn’t fall as her laughter rocketed her backwards.

“Is this a new lotion? It smells really good!”

“Good deduction, Detective Riku.” Kairi rolled her eyes. “It’s Rose Petal Something-Or-Other, but that isn’t relevant and I’m going to have to ask you to focus, my sweet mousey prince.”

Riku’s cheeks flushed. “ _ Hey _ , c-c'mon, Kai, you said you wouldn't--! I told him not to come, like  _ you _ asked--” 

“Anyways!” She interrupted, pushing him back with a finger to his forehead, “If you had been a Princess, you would have felt something, as would I. Therefore, we can easily see that Riku is not a Princess. Sora isn’t either, for that matter. You know he would have complained if something weird would have happened if we touched, that kid hangs on me like he’s a baby bear and I am his sweet, violent mother.”

“What a way to put it!” Xion complimented.

“Thank you.” Kairi let out a pleasant giggle. “Besides, Riku, other than being the epitome of Princely and Knightly shit,” she coughed, “gaywad,” and coughed again, to which he stuck out his tongue and pushed her face away, “you’ll never have to worry about being a Princess!”

Kairi reached for Riku’s face and squished his cheeks. “The conditions are very involved. Not just anyone can be a Princess, and especially no one like…” She paused, then shrugged. “I’m sure you can grasp it. You’re plenty strong enough without it, don’t you think so?”

Riku put his hands over Kairi’s, and the way he looked at her was the most gentle display of unyielding love that Ven had ever seen; so much so that he had to glance away a few times to stop his heart from pounding.

“I'd say the same for you, Kai."

“Aww, Riku!” Kairi grabbed onto his cheeks and stretched them, pulling a squeal out of Riku. Ven tried to stifle his giggle. “You’re so cute! Look at you!”

She smiled at Xion as she continued to stretch Riku’s cheeks. “Honestly, you don’t even need a ‘pure heart’ to be a Princess. You need a heart of majority light, sure, but that’s  _ reaaaaallly _ baseline. Like I said, it’s a lot more involved. There’s a lot of specifics.”

“Ven?”

Isa put his hand on Ven’s forehead, which made Ven jump a foot in the air as he made a horrendously embarrassing  _ squeak _ .

“Oh, goodness, Ven, are you alright?”

Lea moved to the chair opposite Ven, scooching closer towards him loudly, probably marking up the floor a bit.

“You look a little flabbergasted, kid. Are you feelin’ alright?”

“Ah, yeah!” He stood up, nodding vigorously. “I think I’m gonna take a walk around the building! Maybe see if I can find Sora and Roxas, too. I’m pretty worried about them!”

And he was, it wasn't a lie. If he saw his brothers, he would run to them, but he was sure they were fine, too. They usually were, after all.

Lea and Isa looked at each other in worry, then looked back to Ven.

“Alright, Ven.” Isa said, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze. “Don’t hesitate to call us if you need anything at all, alright?”

Lea's eyelids fluttered, his expression melting into pure affection.

“Oh, look at you.” Lea sighed, cupping Isa’s cheek in his hand. “You’re lovel--”

Isa stood up and pushed Lea’s head onto the table with a clunk.

“Bye, Ven!” Isa smiled. “Hopefully next time you swing past, Lea will know not to do that in front of you!”

Ven gave Isa a thumbs up and scurried away from them in a panic. Geez, Isa could be so scary! He wasn’t even sure why he had been so violent, but he was sure he had his reasons, Isa was usually pretty sensible.

After a lazy walk where he tried to avoid everyone on purpose, which didn't feel too great if he was being honest— and he wasn't sure how Vanitas could have handled that all day every day, though he figured… he really hadn't handled it at all, had he— he finally stopped to take a break at a window. He finished watching the sun go down, and then let out a long, drawn out sigh. Now that there was no light out, finding Vanitas would be more than challenging, but it wasn't like he hadn't done it before. He  _ hated _ trying to see in the dark; Vanitas could easily hide in a goopy puddle! And that would be so! Rude of him! 

He supposed he could visit a World that had a slower day/night cycle than the Land did, but all the ones he could think off at the top of his head he had been to in the last week. Not that it truly mattered, since he had been to every World countless of times, at least, the ones he knew of.

“Ven! There you are!” Kairi clomped over to him in her cute brown boots. “Watched the sun go down, eh? Wish I could have joined you… Kinda lame how I have to entertain everyone at my own party, huh?” She let out a giggle, then offered her hand.

“...Kairi?” A concerned tilt of the head was all he could muster.

“I wanna tell you something before you leave. I can tell that you want to leave soon and, well…” She shrugged. “There hasn’t been enough you-and-me time, y’know? We keep being surrounded by others, which isn’t good enough for me.”

He took her hand and at the same time, they squeezed the other’s hand as they adjusted to the spark. “Do you think you’ll be making a habit of this?” Ven joked, quiet as he stared at the freckles on her hand.

“Maybe.” She turned and led him down the hall without another word.

He knew where she was leading him: towards the entrance hall and out to the front steps. Sans their footsteps, the space around them was eerily quiet. At some point, she had let go of his hand to fold her hands behind her back, looking straight ahead. His thoughts drifted to earlier, and he wondered if she was mad at him for not telling her what was wrong. Or, God, perhaps she was mad at him for eavesdropping? If he had hurt her feelings, he wasn’t sure he could forgive himself.

She opened the big front doors and after he stepped out into the dark night, she slipped around him and plopped down in the middle of the grand staircase, a few steps down. She stretched out with a yawn, then closed her eyes.

Carefully, he took his spot on her right. He pulled his legs together.

“Tired?”

“Oh, you bet!” She peeked at him, a wry smile starting to grow. “It’s been a long day, but I’ll take it! It’s been fun, so I don’t mind one bit. Now, here’s what I wanted to tell you-uh, well… give you, I guess.”

She reached into a pocket of her jacket and pulled out a small, dark fuzzy box. She held it out to him in both of her hands.

Once he realized what she was doing, he leaned away, waving his hands in front of him. “Kairi,” he started, almost disappointed, “this is your party. I should have gotten YOU a gift, I--”

“Go on!” Kairi held the box closer to him, encouraging to the point of insisting.

“It’s not weird or anything, so don’t worry about  _ that _ .” 

He wasn’t sure what she meant by that, but he still was uneasy about accepting a gift from her. She must have seen it, because she rolled her eyes.

“Look, you're  _ kind _ of hard to meet in the physical! You have forced my hand, Ven.”

The fire behind her eyes dimmed into a more comforting crackle. “It’s just… a thank you. And, a promise; an oath, if you will.”

Something flashed in Ven’s heart, but he pushed it away as he plucked the box from her hands and opened it. A necklace sat gingerly on the cushion inside, and with the light from the lanterns, the gold seemed to glisten. The charm was a little gold heart etched with curls and hearts, and a tiny green crystal hung next to it, the same color of his eyes.

He gasped, and looked up to her for an explanation, tears starting to well in his eyes.

“You’ve been so kind to me, these past months.” Kairi smiled, soft. “We’ve become so close, and I'm glad that we have. There’s something about you that’s different than other people, Ven, something effulgent. I keep thinking about that time, in Radiant Garden: Someone told me-- no, told my  **_heart_ ** , just how important you are.” 

A look of intense worry and fear watered in her eyes, but she closed them and sighed.

“I can’t tell you exactly what it is yet. I don’t want to drag you into this when you are looking for Vanitas, when you already have so much on your plate. But I know in my heart that one day I will be able to, and this is my oath to you, physically manifested. Our destinies have drawn us together, and I’m thankful that it was you, out of everyone. With this necklace, I will see that you go with providence as you look for Vanitas, your heart charging you forward.”

Ven couldn't wait anymore: he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. He still didn’t understand what she meant, but the basic sentiment wasn’t lost on him. They both jumped at the spark, but with Kairi’s snort, he giggled, and they held each other even tighter despite it.

He pulled away, looking into her eyes and at the freckles dotting her cheeks before admiring the necklace once again. “Thank you Kairi. For this, too, but also for becoming my friend.”

Ven looked back up at her, her smile melting his heart.

“You’re one of the warmest people I’ve ever met. I think you put the sun to shame.”

She let out a breath, waving him off as her cheeks flushed. He almost didn't register the pride that swelled in his heart, too caught up in the moment to think of anything else. 

“Oh, come on. Don’t get all poetic and cheesy on me, that’s my thing! You’re very sweet, though. And…” Delicately, she put a hand over his box, closing it with a clump.

“I don’t believe I’ve said it yet, but… I love you, Ven.”

Ven giggled, and he sighed out the overwhelming joy that had built up in his chest.

“I love you, too.”

“Come on now, you big sap!” She made a twirling motion with her finger. “Take off your extra stuff and turn around, I’ll help you put on the necklace.”

He did as Kairi ordered, folding his jacket and straps neatly and setting his Vanitas bag on the step below it. When she was done, he twisted back around, his fingertips barely brushing the surface. It was a little too loose to be a choker, instead sitting comfortably on his collarbone.

Ven barely noticed when Kairi took the heart between her thumb and index finger, moving it around as it picked up the glow from the lanterns. All he could do was look at her as memories played through his mind; all their time spent together, little moments that maybe didn’t mean anything to her, but meant the Worlds to him.

“Good job on looking so lovely, Ven.” Kairi purred.

A gurgle escaped out of Ven before he could stop it, and he rolled his eyes. She snickered, her tongue poking out playfully as she smiled.

Ven let out a huff, trying to collect himself. Light above, what was with him today? He wasn’t usually like this. This was a different brand of spacey than he was used to.

“Where did you get this, anyways?” He put a hand on the heart. “It’s so beautiful.”

She put a thumb against her chest.

“You’re looking at the girl who made it. I made it in the forge on the Land!”

“WHAAA--”

Kairi shushed him, putting her pointer finger on her lips. “Aqua taught me, silly! Of course, she’s been training me with Keyblade junk, but I told her I wanted to give  _ you _ something, and she was ecstatic! She said I should learn either way, and I was so excited that Xion caught wind, and now she’s learning how to do blacksmithing, too!”

With a huff, she crossed her arms, and her mood seemed to flip.

“I don’t know what she’s making, though, because  **she** won’t tell me! Which is such bullshit, by the way, because I told her what I was making almost immediately, but I guess that doesn’t go both ways.”

“Aw, sorry.” He slipped the box in his Vanitas bag and looked at the sky.

“...You’re heading out, then?” Kairi asked, leaning into his view to look at his face.

He glanced at her for a lingering moment, the thought that maybe staying out here with her wouldn't be too bad, but then looked back to the sky. “I suppose I should slip out before Aqua and Terra realize I’ve left. They won’t want me to leave so late.”

“Well, let’s go sneak back in quickly so you can say goodbye. I won’t have any of you heart people crying at my party just because somebody wanted to go look for his emo brother.”

She pushed herself up, and he followed in her lead.

Kairi began to open the door, but a pang shot through Ven’s heart. 

He wanted to hold Kairi’s hand. 

He wanted to hold any hand, really; it’s not like he received a lot of physical contact. The sleepovers were nice, and when he got to spend time with everyone, it was wonderful, but he felt… he didn’t even want to think it. He didn’t want to give it a name, either.

But he still wanted the contact.

“Um… Kairi?”

She turned back to him, the glow of the light inside making her look like she wore a halo around her head. It stunned him for a moment before he focused again.

“Um, can we…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “can we hold hands when we walk in? I just, uh--”

“Of course.” She reached out her hand. “You don’t need a reason to hold my hand, Ven.”

As he reached towards her, Kairi grinned evilly. 

“Would you like them to announce us when we enter, since you’re now my plus one? Pri--”

Ven blew a raspberry, taking her hand so the spark that shot through stopped her from speaking. “Gosh, no way! This isn’t a ball, Kai! I’m not your plus one, either, that’s silly.”

“ **_Oh…_ ** ” She giggled. “So it’s ‘Kai’ now, is it?”

He covered his face with his spare hand. “You don’t HAVE to tease me, you know.”

“Sure.” Kairi took the hand he was using to cover his face and held it in her own before intertwining their fingers. She seemed to consider something as she drew in the sight of their hands, connected, then she smiled at him. “You react differently than Sora and Riku do. It’s very funny and cute, and it makes me feel more fond of you than I already am. C’mon, let’s head in.”

“Well you can’t just SAY that!” Ven protested, swinging their arms, knowing full well that Kairi was going to continue to ‘just say that’ as long as she damn well pleased.

\--

Arendelle’s spring, for as early as it was, was still leagues better than it’s winter. Even though there was still a chill to the air, it was almost comforting. With one last sip, he rested his now-empty water bottle on his thigh. “So, what’s the bad news, Chi?”

Chirithy’s inhale was sharper than he would’ve expected.

“B-bad news?”

Ven laughed, shaking his head.

“Chirithy, c’mon! You’re one of my best friends, even with your cute little expression, I can still tell when you look nervous.” Ven titled his head, hoping to get whatever secret was locked up in Chirithy. “What’s up, buddy?”

His Spirit looked at the ground.

“It’s the one-year anniversary of the day Vanitas left.”

The weak plastic bottle held no chance against the impulsive clench of Ven’s fist, the crack that sounded so sudden, so vicious, like thunder rolling in a dangerous whirlwind. Rage tried to claw its way out of him, tried to free itself from his chest as he stood up--

But he took a deep breath, let it out.

Then twice. Then thrice.

Once more for good measure.

And he looked at his friend.

“No time to waste then, right?”

One foot in front of the other, Ven carried on. There was nothing else for him to do, nothing else he was capable of.

\----

\----

\----

\----

i know i’ve said it hundreds of times, but i’ll say it now, and then hundreds more: it’s nice to write to  you and not my diary. it’s only been a couple of days, sure, but i know nobody’s ever gonna see my diary. for one, why would they want to? it’s just an absurd amount of me, rambling about how mentally ill i am. i know YOU would wanna see it, but you like me and that’s a little embarrassing for you. i mean, it’s sweet, but it’s embarrassing as well.

do you recall that dream i had in june? about ventus calling for me and grabbing my hand? you reacted surprisingly calm, now that i’m thinking of it. i really thought you were gonna think i was nuts but you accepted it so blatantly. i guess weirder shit has happened than my mind making fun of me, and me believing that  maybe it  wasn’t making fun of me because i’m at my wits end with how stupidly i miss him.

something happened earlier today, and i’d like you to know what it was, because… well, i’d love for you to psychoanalyze me as you always do, like some kind of therapist, but i have to get this shit off of my chest because every time i think about it my heart starts to flutter and i hate that. 

don’t you look at my words like that. i know you’re making a face i KNOW you are and i’d appreciate it if you stopped, because my poor maiden heart can’t take the embarrassment of your staring. also it’s just rude to stare, so mind your manners. ‘but vanitas you have no manners to speak of because you were-’ yes i was raised in a graveyard but that’s highly irrelevant and you’re trying to shift the topic onto me and that’s rude of you, too. again, mind your manners.

anyways.

against my better judgement, i listened with my heart just like you told me to.

and i heard it. star, i heard it so loud and clear. i heard a call;  his call.

of course it was more like a cry of pain- scratch that, it was a  scream \- which makes me wonder if he’s okay. do you think anyone else heard that call? i'm not even gonna pretend that it could have been for me because we both know ven despises me. how could he not, with all the shit i've done. i’m sure his friends are taking care of him… ok don’t make fun of me but i’m worried about him actually, like, i won’t bullshit you on this. he sounded so distraught that i almost left right then, to make sure he’s okay. but i can’t. we’ve discussed it before so i know there’s no point in explaining myself again, and you know i’m going to anyways bc u can’t stop me from writing words upon my page. <3

i’m so scared, star. of him seeing me, mostly, because if i look at him and see the hatred burning in his eyes, i think my heart would shatter into dust, genuinely. he isn’t allowed to look at me like i’ve looked at him. he’s looked at me with anger, sadness, pity, surprise, and fear, but he’s  never looked at me with hatred, and if i don’t see him then he doesn’t have to start, now does he? seems perfectly logical to me.

though, if he’s in danger, it might just be worth the risk of him hating me. i’d rather both of us live and him hate me than one be dead and miss the other. 

god i shouldn’t even joke about him missing me, it’ll just make me feel fucked up. i know you’ve said that i should be optimistic, but how am i supposed to be? destiny and love are not kind to people like me. i’ve never been so torn up about something before, half of me craves to see him, the other shrinks away from the mere idea. i won’t be reckless, but i’ll keep you posted.

i guess this letter has just become my dumping ground. it’s so easy to talk to you, is this really what friendship is like? i’ll keep going, though. i just wanted to say that.

i feel so stupid for taking so long to realize that i…  ugh … wanted to occupy the same space as him, i  **_guess_ ** . i really feel like such an idiot, star. the first time i saw him, i was being pulled towards him. it’s like my heart was telling me to go to him and hold him and i know it sounds mushy but just stay with me, ok? 

when that happened, i was furious. who wouldn’t be, i had misread it as what little i had of a heart wanting to go back to ventus. but ventus had a full heart, so that doesn’t make sense. truthfully, it never should have. no, his heart was resonating with mine, because he’s a magnet.

i observed it as the days went by, because once i saw him the first time, i couldn’t stop looking; a blinding light i couldn’t peel my eyes from. but the miraculous thing was that he wasn’t just a magnet to me, star. he was a magnet to everyone who came into contact with him. he walks into a room and people see him and they want to be friends with him just from his smile and warmth alone. i swore to myself that the reason i hated the effect he had on me was that i was dark and cold, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

i hated it because it worked on me, too.

i wanted to be his friend, too.

when i went to the land of departure and watched him speak and move and even just stand there, something changed in me, and i was frightened and enamored at the same time.

but i had been raised to be his enemy, our destinies were to fight one another and die for the χ-blade. but... if ven could shake his destiny, why couldn’t i? if he could have friends and a life outside of the χ-blade, what’s to say i couldn’t do the same? i mean i pushed myself into being deplorable at every turn but i’m sure you understand that i was just feeling really fucked up and lonely and i was acting out for attention.

and that line doesn’t leave this letter, you hear me? i can’t actually do anything to you, like emotionally i can’t, but i’m gonna glare at you and also cry a little bit and then you’ll feel kinda bad about the whole predicament.

anyways, when terra got possessed and when aqua fell to darkness, i felt this sick satisfaction. i had his friends now, and they were evil and messed up like me. what power could he have without his friends? what light could they possibly have if they were like me? but he wasn’t the only person i should’ve been watching [as obvious as that may sound, i assure you, it was not obvious for me.] of course sora and his little band of freaks got to everything and were ~together~ and whatever. but it planted that seed of doubt within me, when they were all fixed up in that regard. could i truly be only darkness? could ven truly only be light?

jesus christ, speaking of acting out for attention: idk if i told you but i had to sit with ventus in his heart for the entirety of his decade-long sleep. [he sleeps like a rock LOL] his heart was in sora’s so like… yeah. we were like a fucked up matryoshka doll and i was the teeniest tiniest one allllll the way on the inside ;Pc now to someone who may or may not be normal [that would be you, also either way i’m not judging bc i have no space to. obviously. look at where we are] this all might sound bizarre and it is. i'm not going to lie about that, this is all ridiculous to look at. very clearly, as if it were happening in front of me, i can imagine some rando reading this and being like ‘oh you have got to be kidding me. are you sure you’re not just pulling my leg? trying to butter my biscuits, are you? what a joke.’ and then they leave like a sensible person. but none of us are sensible in this letter so i’ll continue.

but yeah i got to experience the ~me~ that xehanort pulled from the past. that shit royally sucked, if you were wondering. oh my GOD even thinking about it i feel like i’m gonna be sick. everything i did was such a desperate cry for attention and/or help and it was so annoying and sad. like is this how everyone sees me ALL THE TIME? abhorrent. HEINOUS. i felt like plugging my ears the whole time, and the fact that  i was fully conscious for most of it and ventus being in a dream-like state at  BEST is one of the worst things  EVERRRR like i had to watch myself grab for ventus’ heart. it was so embarrassing. what was wrong with me. ‘you will return ventus to ME’ just shut UPPPP god i despised him. it was so satisfying to watch him fly through seven or so doors, like thank god he’s GONE i never wanted to see him again. but when have i ever known when to stop? i’m always going after ventus because we had to forge the χ-blade and bluh bluh bluh i’m so over it all.

speaking of that hot garbage, let’s talk more about my emotional problems for a sec before we move on. i wanted to be my own person SO badly. you see, i pushed myself to be the antithesis of ventus; if he was light, i was dark. if he had friends surrounding him, i was alone. if he was overjoyed, i was livid. the list goes on and on. i was unique because i was not ventus, and not only that, i was stronger than he was, allegedly. i clung to it, and that foundation for my being stood firm... for a little while. it only wavered when ‘i’ saw sora. my face was what his face had been, all those years ago, when ventus and sora’s hearts touched.

i had to do something else, i had to be someone else. i had to speak differently, sound differently, be the shadow to their light. what a joke that shit was. more of me from the past being annoying and cringe, not that that’s new or anything.

man, now i’m just wondering what it would have been like if ventus had been more lucid. probably loud for sora, possibly even dangerous. i was going to say that he should just suck it up and deal with it but i’m not gonna lie and say that. that’s not how i feel in the slightest.

that time in the graveyard was interesting, actually. i think something changed in ventus during the decade he slept. he was colder, more serious. perhaps more of a pacifist? but instead of looking away from it like he had before, he accepted it head on. in fact, i’d say he’d extended his hand towards me, in the right light. not ‘me’ me, but… y’know.

either way, past me insisted that he was darkness and i’m making fun of him with my hand like a sock puppet kinda thing. blah blah blah look at him talking about darkness and how he’s darkness and he’s a shadow like go write poetry and get to therapy. i mean i have no room to talk because i’m not in therapy, but i’m writing poetry and working through this shit with your help, which for now is okay. bigger and better things eventually, though, right?

i feel like such an idiot. up until the very last second, i didn't let ventus get too close to me even though i wanted to be. every single thing about ventus was sacrosanct, and i was cursed from the start, as entirely darkness as i was. my darkness would have overpowered him, that's what my old man said all the time. i'm starting to wonder if that was a lie to keep us from talking and becoming.  acquaintances. yeah.

i was always so curious… he seems like such a warm light in contrast to my cold darkness. i don’t know shit or fuck about space, but i remember one thing that ventus said constantly: that there are stars even bigger than the sun. if so, then the sun is too dim and small to be compared to him and how searingly bright he burns. sometimes he worried me- and that doesn’t leave this letter- because stars that burn too bright and too fast… well, with your namesake, i’m sure you can assume what i’m alluding to.

haha, he always loved the stars more than anything. he would go on about them for ages, finding a new one and loving it with everything he had. it was sweet; i would mention some dumb thing i noticed about the sky and his eyes would light up and go so round, and then he wouldn’t shut up for 20 minutes and i loved every millisecond. again i swear to god if you breathe a _WORD_ of this to ventus

i’m getting off topic. either way, i guess i wanted to experience it for myself sometimes, even if that‘s selfish of me, especially now.

i would test it with a finger, maybe a hand or a leg. nothing more than that, though; we can't go overboard with it, now can we? i wouldn't risk the strange normalcy we had created, us two. of course, the hands and legs are all metaphors, you think i was bold enough to TOUCH him? one has to laugh at the mere idea. i got ballsy a few times because i wasn't paying attention and almost held his hand once or twice, FUCK man sometimes i thought he was mocking me because he would reach for my hand so naturally and mindlessly. like stop making it seem like you like me because it's making me think i have a chance of BEFRIENDING YOU, IDIOT.

i’ve talked a lot longer than i meant to, this is the start of the third page and if i have to write much more on this side and god forbid go even half way down, i’ll cry. tears streaming down my face it will be so very sad. boo hoo. :’u

hope you have a nice rest of your day. i’ll be keeping you in my thoughts. maybe you should tell me about your emotional problems next time? what a treat that would be.

with care and fondest regards, 

vanitas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my beta readers are solsync and succubused [both on ao3] !! i would suggest solsync if you like hlvrai, and succubused if you like kh or jojo! i think they have a nier/ORV crossover as well. highly recommend checking out both of their works!! <3!!


	7. Malevolence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ven starts the second year of his search for Vanitas. Something is building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw extreme depression, grief and discussion of it, anxiety, suicidal ideation, extreme violence [irt violent breakdowns], discussion of trauma, memory loss, repetition, intrusive thoughts [and at one point believing them to be true], self-destructive tendencies, making light of trauma, repetition 
> 
> atw is in this chapter and he says some. godawful things. i don't have words harsh enough to describe it. please be careful when he shows up.  
> there is also a visual of canine teeth, so if that triggers u, please keep this in mind!
> 
> also near the end there are frozen 2 spoilers! idk if anyone needs a heads up for that but i did want to say it just in case :]
> 
> so you may have noticed that we're above 100k now. WHEW! accidentally wrote 30k words!! as usual, there are the '---' so you can pause and take a break and i personally am requesting that u don't read this in one go because it's got some. ROUGH stuff in it and also is 30k. please, your mental health... i'm worried about it :pensive:
> 
> \-- Tell my brother that the purpose of his lies have found their mark  
> And I'm scared I've gotten lost along the way.
> 
> Still you speak when you have nothing left to say. --

_ do you miss them? _

_ Ven's not sure how truthfully he can answer. _

_ ‘How can you miss people you can’t remember?’ _

_ There's a thoughtful silence, as if he's being analyzed. _

_...you think there’s a hole in your heart? a hole where they should be. _

_ ‘Not a hole. Memories should be here, people should. Instead it’s-’ His words catch in his throat. ‘hollow. I couldn't stop my heart from emptying… it was never my choice.’ _

_ Another silence, drenched in emotion that he can't gather the strength to comprehend. _

_ do you truly believe that? you really think that...  _ _ you’re _ _... empty? _

_ ‘What else can I believe? There’s no proof of anything else.’ _

_ is there real proof of it, other than the beliefs in your head that you assume to be fact? don't you know how wrong you are about yourself? _

_ When Ven didn't reply, he heard a sigh. _

_ what about the others- the newer ones? _

_ He shakes his head. In fact, he almost smiles. _

_ ‘They didn’t fill it; they just made room for themselves. The only ones who can fill the void, they--’ _

_ i know. they’re gone. _

_ There’s a pause. _

_ but are they truly? _

_ He shoots a glare to the darkness that’s enveloping him like a warm, heavy blanket. The darkness curls and brushes against his lashes with such loving care. _

_ ‘Don’t you dare joke about that.’ _

_ i wouldn’t do something like that to you, i promise you with my entire heart. not after everything you’ve had to suffer against. it would be too cruel, it's something i can only hope is true. _

_ And there’s a shift. _

_ And it’s no longer him curling up in darkness. _

_ And he can’t tear his eyes away from the figure covered in shadow. _

_ The figure lets out a shaky sigh, sinks into the darkness as it curls in gentle tendrils around the figure's cheeks. _

_ ‘if i try to hold onto any hope, i won't be able to survive after it rips my heart in two.’ _

_ As soon as a tear escapes, the darkness is quick to brush it away before wrapping around the figure's face again. The figure only becomes distressed at the motion. _

_ ‘my heart won’t stop making a fool of me,’ the figure weeps, ‘and this is it’s cruelest yet. this, all of this, it didn’t happen before, it won’t happen in the future.’ _

_ The figure inhales sharply. _

_ ‘if i could…’ _

_ Fingers slip smoothly into the figure's mop of dark hair. The figure grips the hair and barks out a laugh, a laugh that sends a terrorized chill up Ven's spine. He knows the laugh. He knows the figure. _

_ ‘the-the pain would stop, don’t you think? if it was like it was before, where i didn’t care so much about--’ _

_ ventus. _

_ ‘i can’t!’ The figure struggles, fights it. ‘how could i bear to let him see me?’ _

_ ventus. _

_ ‘not after everything i’ve done, everything i’ve said. i’ve ruined him.’ _

_ ventus. _

_ 'you saw his face, you saw the blood on it. he bled because of me, i hurt him. the fact that i think i'm allowed to think of him--' _

_ ventus. _

_ ‘stop it!’ the figure barks, ‘you’re supposed to keep us AWAY from one another; can't you do something right for ONCE?’ _

_ ven-- _

_ The figure reaches out and grabs the darkness, stopping the plea. The figure pulls it in, holds it close to the heart residing within the figure's chest, squeezing it. There’s nothing the figure wants more, and Ventus can feel the emotion radiating off the figure so viscerally that he almost believes it to manifest in the physical. _

_ ‘i don’t care if it’s selfish, i just need him back. i need vanitas back. i’ll do anything, anything at all.’ _

_ The figure squeezes ever tighter. _

_ ‘please, please...’ _

_ and the darkness reaches out towards Ven, curls around his head and pets his hair; slow, loving, apologetic. Ven pushes away the comfort, jerks towards the figure on dire impulse _

and his eyes fluttered open, sitting up in his bed with his arm outstretched, in front of him. Chirithy put tiny paws on Ven's arm as he tried to catch his breath, chest heaving his dread.

Bringing his hands to his face, all he could do was cry as the birds serenaded him with an achingly lonely ballad.

\---

“One hundred and fifty!” Terra exclaimed, grin spreading across his face.

A groan ripped its way out of his lungs and haplessly, Ven dropped the weights into their resting place, his arms burning in pain.

Terra cradled his head with one hand, using the other to grab some water as he bounced in excitement. “I’m so proud of you! You broke your record the second time this week! How are you feeling?”

Ven sat up and covered his eyes, facing away from Terra as he shook his head.

Terra’s joy evaporated on the spot.

“...Ven?”

The only noise made in the room was a quiet sniff from Ven as he desperately tried to force himself not to cry. His dream two weeks ago had put him in shambles, and no matter what anyone did, it felt like an impossible task to smile. It felt like something was wrong with him, and he was starting to believe that maybe that was true. He hadn't been able to bring himself to tell Naminé which, perhaps, was something that frightened him the most.

“C’mere, honey.” Terra pulled Ven into his arms, ran his fingers peacefully through his brother’s hair. “It’s okay to let it out, Ven. You don’t have to keep it in.”

Ven wiggled out and put his hands on his brother’s arm.

“There’s gotta be something I can do!” He whined. “There has to be something I haven’t tried yet! I’ve been all through the Lanes, all through space and Worlds I knew, some I didn’t know existed! There’s been nothing at all, no hint of anything.” He smacked a hand to his forehead. “Am I even looking the right way? Is there another way, I-I-- He’s gotta be out there, I won’t accept a reality where he isn’t, I  **_can’t_ ** \--”

Terra reached a hand out slowly, gently, but Ventus shot up and took a few steps away before he could place it against his cheek. Ven wrapped his arms around himself.

“What if I’m too late?” He cried. “What if I didn’t make it in time?”

“Ven--”

“I could have gone after Vanitas.” Ven took another step back, his trembling turning too great to stop it. “I could have ran into his portal, I could have followed him instead of--” He spat. “-- _ sleeping _ .”

Terra shook his head. “Ven, you passed out from the pain; you were bleeding  _ very _ badly, from your face, from your side. You couldn’t’ve walked." His eyes flickered down to Ven's trembling hands, and he offered Ven a sympathetic smile. “You’re barely making any sense, please, let me grab you a snack from my bag.”

“But what if I hadn’t been weak?” He mumbled, loud enough for Terra to reel back in flabbergasted hurt. “I could have casted Curaga on myself and kept going.” 

“ _ Ventus, _ ” Terra tried to reach out to Ven again, tears beginning to form in his eyes, too. “you were looking at Vanitas, you weren’t thinking of anything else at the time, and that was  _ okay _ . Please, you have to wait--”

The rage inside of Ven’s heart exploded.

“Are you seriously going to tell me to  _ wait _ again? Just like you did last March?” Ven interrupted Terra with a hiss, bringing his shoulders up. “Are we  _ really _ going to go through that again? It won’t end well for  _ anyone _ if you guys--”

A small gasp echoed off the walls, and they turned sharply to the noise. There in the doorway stood Riku, the strap of a large duffle bag grasped firmly in his hands. The sight of him made Ven’s eyes  _ burn _ , and the grip he had on his arms turned iron. Wide-eyed, Riku looked from Terra, to Ven, back to Terra, before finally setting his gaze on Ventus with a blend of extreme concern and pity.

“...Ven?”

Ven couldn’t stand it.

As the rest of his tears cascaded down his cheeks, Ven stepped around Terra, grabbed his jacket and bag, and briskly moved past Riku to leave. He had trained enough for today, he needed to meet up with Naminé anyways. Ugh, why was Riku even _ HERE _ , he had never seen him at his weight training before, why today, of all days, did he have to show up? It just seemed unfair and cruel. Wasn’t he already suffering enough? He launched himself down the steps with an Aero from his shoes, sliding through the air with a twirl just before he landed in the middle of the courtyard.

“Ventus, wait!”

Ven stopped for a brief moment at hearing his name, pulling his bag closer to his chest as he turned. At the top of the steps, Riku blinked away in a dark spark, and after Ven spun around, Riku appeared before him in a flash, arms outstretched to stop Ven as he struggled to catch his breath.

“W-wait, I--” He let out a wheeze. “Your legs are shorter than mine, I don’t... understand how you can move so fast…”

He took a step back, watched as bits of Riku's hair shimmered with a purple hue in the sunlight as he continued to take deep breaths in and out. The sentiment of Riku running after Ven- especially when he probably didn't think of them as close friends- was sweet, and Ven wouldn't lie to himself: it was nice to be the one ran after, for a change.

Miraculously, the tips of Ven's mouth curled up, and he let out a single, breathy laugh. The laugh built, first into giggles, and then he had to bend over and support himself with a hand on his knee. Riku eyed him with extreme concern.

“Sorry, you--” More giggles escaped him, and he stood up. “You keep running after me, I just thought it was funny. Sweet, too, of course, but…” He rubbed the back of his head and glanced to the mountains in the far distance. “y-y’know.”

“Yeah!” Riku agreed, then scratched his temple. “Um, sorry for not calling you about the schedule change. I had figured Terra or Kairi would’ve told you, but I guess I shouldn’t’ve assumed.”

Ven titled his head and turned his attention back to Riku. “Kairi? Why would she need to tell me about training?” 

His heart started to pound at the idea. God, was she going to start teaching? That would be so embarrassing!! Sure, Aqua’s lectures on skipping would be so much better than Kairi’s teasing, but he knew which one he’d take in a heartbeat, especially if they had the rest of their friends in front of them. Kairi was a little more playfully ruthless when she had an audience.

“She was the one who told me about our schedules.” Riku placed a hand on his hip, in a way that Ven knew Kairi would tease him for. “You know, we were on for the exact same times, but on the opposite days. Isn’t that crazy? Kai and I were talking about it at her Ceremony, and she said that you wanted to spend more time with me, so I figured I’d ask Terra to rearrange everything. I’d hoped he’d be able to take more breaks, too, since the days I had would be free for the foreseeable future.”

After a moment of processing, Ven put his free hand over his eyes like a shield and turned away as his cheeks flushed. Of course Kairi set it up like this. She was a real mastermind when she wanted to be, which usually was when it involved teasing someone. He vowed to send a bunch of angry emojis at her later so that she would understand his complete and utter turmoil. Even when she wasn't in front of him, he could easily envision her smirk as he got riled up. He couldn't stop himself from smiling at the image his mind made.

“...I hope I didn’t upset you.” Riku apologized, putting a hand on Ven’s arm. Ven let his grin and hand fall from his face to see Riku looking away, slight blush to his cheeks. “And, um…” Riku pulled his hand away. “I've been meaning to tell you, your training’s really been paying off. You’ve made a lot of progress; Terra and Aqua talk about you a lot on missions, they’re really proud of you. It’s heartwarming to see how much they love you.”

Ven’s heart melted. He let out a wistful sigh.

“Riku,” He took Riku’s hand in his own and nodded, lop-sided grin plastering itself on his face. “thank you. I appreciate it more than I can say.”

Riku looked into his eyes for a moment, and then Ven dropped his hand.

“Well, I have to go see Naminé now!” He bowed his head slightly as he passed his taller friend. “I’ll tell her you said ‘hi’ if you want!”

“Naminé…” Riku wrapped his hand around his bottom jaw. “I would appreciate it, thanks. Safe travels.”

They waved good-bye, and Ven quickly pulled out Wayward Wind as he heard Riku make his way up the steps. He put a foot on his glider, and the memory of Kairi’s Ceremony flittered through his mind. Lovingly, he placed his fingers on the locket, and looked back behind him. Riku stood in the doorway, his body facing inside as he peered over his shoulder, gaze focused on Ven. They noticed the other's stare at the same time, and Ven quickly punched the emblem on his chest so his armor would block Riku from seeing his cheeks flushed with colors.

Ugh, was he making sure he left safely? He knew that was just what you did for your friends, but Riku was so embarrassing sometimes, he could at least be less obvious about it.

But…

As he started to ascend, he glanced back down to see Riku turn around and watch him leave. Ven placed a hand over his heart and looked back up, a small, shy smile on his face. He figured that he could understand a little of why Sora felt as strongly as he did, in a way. It was nice.

\---

“I’ve never wanted to see the Gummi Ship so bad…” Naminé mused, sprawled across the steps up to the castle, planked and stiff as her arms and legs stretched out.

“Aren’t you uncomfortable?” Ven asked, his phone to his ear as he waited for Sora to pick up. “Like, doesn’t that hurt your, uh...” He motioned in a vague and unhelpful manner to the whole of her.

She sighed, looking up to the sky in a melancholic sort of way. “Sometimes, dear Ventus, we are required to do things that bring us pain. In the long run, it’s simply better this way.”

“But you could sit up.” He countered. “You could just sit up, or, Hell, just lie flat on the ground. Surely that would be better for your back, at least.”

Naminé huffed. “You’re not even gonna let me be poetic about it?”

“Absolutely not.”

The reds and yellows of the Gummi Ship shot into the sky, and Ven slammed the 'end call' button and scrambled to his feet, slipping his phone into his pocket. He grabbed Naminé’s hand and waist as if they were about to swing into a dance, and tossed her elegantly into the air. She let out an astonished noise that wasn’t quite describable with words alone, then he caught her with great care and set her down on the top step smoothly.

“I--” She held onto his arms for support. “I’ll never get used to you flinging me around with such ease. Do you dance often, Ventus?”

“You should, because I'm not gonna stop.” He said, honestly.

“And I’ve never been to any kind of dance, but we were taught Ballroom.”

Naminé gave his cheek a pinch and wiggled his face around. “You think you’re so cute.”

“I am!”

“You are!”

“HEY!!” Sora called from the now-landed ship, waving his arms frantically. “CAN YOU GUYS GET IN HERE SO WE DON’T KEEP XION AND ROXAS WAITING? THEY’LL BE MAD, I THINK. PROBABLY? I MEAN, MAYBE THEY DON’T CARE. I THINK THEY’LL JUST KEEP EATING ICE CREAM, BUT THEN WE’LL GET LESS, AND THAT’S KIND OF LAME AND INCONSIDERATE OF YOU GUYS. BRINGING ME DOWN TO YOUR LEVEL LIKE TH--”

Ven slammed into Sora with a hug, knocking him back into the ship and on the floor where they hit the ground with an  _ ‘OOF’ _ . 

“Will you be CAREFUL?” Naminé asked as she rushed in, clutching her long skirt in her hand to give herself more room to run. “Please, Sora has enough head trauma.”

“I do!” Sora giggled.

Ven pushed himself up and glanced around, excited to see a duck and dog that… he couldn’t find. “Where are Donald and Goofy?” He asked, frowning.

Sora clicked his tongue as Naminé helped him up. “Wow, I see how it is. Don't you have any love for your own brother?”

Ventus frowned deeply at the phrase.

“But, nah, they’re doing something with the King.”

“No Kairi?” Ven glanced around. “Riku?”

Sora puffed his chest out and plopped down into the Captain’s chair.

“No Kairi, no Riku! It’s all me, bay-bie _ eee _ !” He drew out the end with a smirk on his face.

“Wait, that--” Ven wheeled around and took both of Sora’s hands. “They’re letting you do things on your own now?!”

“Uh-huh!” He giggled, swinging his legs. “As long as I’m not alone for more than ten minutes, they’re okay with it! Kairi told me that I have  _ you _ to thank, you know.” He gave Ven’s hands a loving squeeze. “She said you ‘put things into perspective for her’, whatever that means. Riku said he felt the same, though I can’t remember seeing you guys together  **ever** soooooo I don’t know what he meant. Thanks, though; now we can look for Vanitas together!”

Naminé gave Sora’s hair a vigorous rub. “Now, now. If you bring him up, Ven might get second thoughts about today.” 

She gave Ven a playful glare and walked over to her chair.

“I wouldn’t!” Ven swore, letting go of Sora’s hands and walking to the empty chair as he pouted. “Spending time with you guys is important to me, just as important as looking for Vanitas is.”

Naminé squinted her eyes as Sora began to fly them towards Twilight Town, bouncing excitedly in his seat. 

“I look in your heart twice a week, silly.” She whispered, barely audible. “I know how wholly Vanitas consumes your subconscious thought. Sure, it might make everyone else feel better, but you shouldn’t lie about that, okay? It’ll make  you feel bad regardless.’

Ven’s heart felt it was being squeezed, and he put a hand over it as he glanced out the window at the rocks and stars zooming past them.

He wasn’t lying. He had meant it with his whole heart.

Had he really not changed this whole last year, since at least November, when he had reunited with Roxas? All those slumber parties, all those hangouts and visits, dear time spent with others; was he always thinking of Vanitas, and is that what everyone else thought, too? Was he the last to notice what was right in front of him, it's glare blazing a hole through his heart?

It wasn’t until he saw Xion and Roxas, meeting them on the outskirts of Twilight Town, that he was finally able to concentrate on something other than the heaviness in his heart. Xion and Roxas were quick to glue themselves to Ven’s sides, wrapping their arms around his and making him sit down on a bench.

“Wait!” Ven pulled out his phone. “I’m taking selfies.”

“Huh? Now?” Roxas tilted his head. “But we’re eating ice cream.”

Xion grinned wickedly, raising an eyebrow. “Rox, can’t you multitask? You’d think wielding two--”

“Two!?” Roxas interjected.

“Of course,” Xion nodded respectfully, “but you’d think wielding two Keys would make it easier for you.”

“I just like being in the moment.” He said, leaning his head again Ven’s arm shoulder. “Selfie away, I guess I didn’t realize you were so into them now.”

Ven let out an embarrassed laugh. “Well…”

Xion swiped Ven’s phone and took a few selfies of herself and Ven, trying to squeeze as much of Roxas as she could into the frame. “They’re for Vanitas, right?” She asked, between the clicks of the camera. “Memories frozen in time, to share with him.”

He smiled softly. “Yeah…” He whispered, crossing his hands over his chest. Another click sounded. “I want to share everything I can with him, and I want to have physical proof that we were thinking of him.”

She stood up and took a step towards Sora and Naminé, but something made her stop. She turned and got into a squat in front of Ven, putting her hands over his. Roxas glanced down at her, watching her with care.

“Ven, when you tell him that you’ve thought of him non-stop over these past months, he’ll see it in your eyes, and he’ll feel it in your heart. There’s no way he can’t.”

Ven sputtered for a moment, then leant away and turned his gaze towards the farmlands in front of them. “Well, I mean--”

Xion giggled. “I’ll go take more selfies now. See you in a sec!” She gave his nose a little ‘boop’ and jogged over to Sora, swinging him around and taking a few pictures as he tried to process what was happening.

“Naminé told me that you found out that Sora duty’s been cancelled.” Roxas sighed, sinking down and placing his head in Ven’s lap. “Y’know, you’re a little slow on the uptake.”

“How so?”

“Kairi ‘n’ Riku let me ‘n’ Sora run wild and on our own during her Ceremony. We explored the Land for hours.” He sighed again, moving his hand so he could check his nails. “It’s completely your fault that they let us do that--” he paused, “in a wholly positive way, of course. Man, what did you even say to them that made ‘em change their mind? Xion and I sure as Hell couldn’t convince them, so what did you say?”

“I…” He watched Naminé help Xion get on top of Sora’s shoulders. “I dunno.”

He looked down. “Are you sure Naminé didn’t say anything to them?”

“BAH!” Roxas threw his hands up in the air, almost smacking Ven in the face. “People DO listen to you, Ven! I started fighting Xion again because of you and she won’t stop gloating about how funny it is!”

“I mean, it IS kinda--”

His brother glared towards the farmlands. “Naminé doesn’t have time to fix any of Kairi and Riku’s personal problems, anyways, since she’s working with Ienzo so much and all.”

Ven wasn’t sure that was a correct assumption, considering he didn’t have time to fix any of Kairi and Riku’s personal problems, either. If he did anything, it was probably an off-hand comment or action, and they internalized it and grew on their own... if he had to guess, anyways.

“Yeah, I guess the lab must take a lot of their time.”

“No, it's magic training.” Roxas said, casually.

“M--” His mind blanked. “Magic?”

Roxas froze. “Ohhh my God I wasn’t supposed to tell you that.”

Ven scruffed Roxas and set him carefully in an upright sitting position. After a swift pat on the head, Ven shot himself over to Naminé with an Aero and took her hands gently into his own, taking her into a twirl as he spun around her. “YOU’VE BEEN PRACTICING MAGIC?” He stopped their twirling and began to bounce from foot to foot.

“Can we duel?”

Naminé blinked.

Then, she frowned.

Finally, she leaned around Ven and shot Roxas an irritated glare as she snapped her fingers. Immediately, a tiny bolt of lightning zapped Roxas, and he let out a yelp and leapt to his feet. He put his hands on his hips and matched her glare evenly.

“YOU TOLD HIM?” She questioned, loudly and in front of everyone.

Rox’s groan was loud and sounded painful for his throat, also in front of everyone.

“It was a MISTAKE, Nams! You know how I talk to Ven!”

Naminé walked over to Roxas and leant incredibly close to his face, crossing her arms. Ven could hear their heated whispers as he ran over.

“Well maybe you should think before you speak!”

“I vehemently refuse to.”

“You know how Ven likes to spar, especially because  **you're** the one who keeps challenging him, then getting demolished in the process. You always have such a big smile on your face the entire time you fight him; I won’t even get started on how you are with Xion, out of courtesy for your pride.”

He stuck his tongue out, and she had to retreat a few inches so it wouldn’t connect with her nose. He closed the gap between them anyways, and her frown broke into a grin as she put her hands on his collarbone and gave him a slight shove.

“Oh, like you wouldn’t revel in fighting Ven,” he teased.

“I wouldn’t! I’m not violent like you are.”

Roxas clunked their foreheads together. “Then why don’t we see who’s right, starlight? You clash with Ven, and if you have a grin on your face,” he stuck a proud thumb into his chest, “I win.” 

After a moment, Ven coughed into his hand. The duo glanced at him, then separated.

“Sooo… Can we spar?” He asked, looking between the two of them excitedly now that their friendly back-and-forth seemed to be done.

“Of course!” Naminé put her hands together and smiled sweetly. “But I must lay some ground rules before we begin. Xion, Sora? If you could.”

Obediently, and Xion still atop Sora’s shoulders while clinging to his head, Sora bounded over. 

“Great. Here are the rules: Sora, Xion, you two are excellent healers, so Xion will focus on me, and Sora will focus on Ven. You will stay locked onto us as we fight, and as soon as the pain reaches a certain point, you heal us immediately. Do you understand?”

They gave her swift nods, and she turned her attention to Roxas.

“Roxas,” She walked over to her bag and gave it a shake. The contents inside clinked together, continuing as she thrusted the bag towards him. “I know you have your own, but here are extras. You will be giving Ethers to Xion or Sora as needed.”

“Anything to keep my bestie and Other at the top of their game!”

Roxas looked back to Xion and Sora, who clunked their heads together and smiled at him. Ven let out a soft  _ ‘aw’ _ at the sight. Roxas was so cutely affectionate. He wanted to pull him into a noogie, but he refrained to save his strength for the coming duel.

As he took off his bag and set it with great care on the bench, he snuck a glance at Naminé. She seemed so serious, but he couldn’t really imagine why. Was it first spar jitters, perhaps? He hoped that was it, but he would ask her after their fight. He didn’t want to distract her, and he  _ really _ wanted to see how strong she was.

Naminé walked towards the fields, and Ven matched her, following her pace for pace as best he could. She turned, and he did the same. A thought popped into his head as he reached his arm in front of him.

“Do you need a Key?”

Naminé laughed, putting a hand on her chest. 

“Oh,  _ Ventus _ .” She purred, her hands beginning to glow with a bright blue as she raised her arms, shifting into a stance that looked so alarmingly like the same stance that Vanitas took, that he almost forgot she was speaking.

“I don’t need a Keyblade to kick your ass.”

Xion and Roxas began to  _ whoop _ excitedly, cupping their hands around their mouths to make themselves louder. Ven glanced to Sora, who shrugged with a nervous smile. This was sure to go well. He just needed to not space out, and focus on assessing her strength while dodging her attacks. He hadn't even thought to ask how long she'd been training, which, in hindsight, was probably a bad idea on his part.

Ven finally manifested Lost Memory in his grip, and Naminé’s smile barely dropped, but he noticed it. He gripped the Key tighter as he dropped into a stance of his own.

“Go!” Roxas shouted.

Ven dropped into a roll, dodging the stream of Watera that Naminé shot at him with ease. He let out a disgusted  _ scoff _ when it splashed uselessly against the ground, slightly wounded as he rolled every few seconds in an inward curve around her.

“Not even  _ Waterga _ ?” Ven asked, casting an Aeroga near her and jumping into it to launch himself up into the air. “What kind of Wielder do you take me for?”

“It’s not you, Ven.” She mused, snapping her fingers and hitting him with a bolt of Thunder, to which he had to clench his teeth to stop himself from vocally reacting.

“I’m conserving mana, it’s nothing personal.”

Naminé hovered as bright orange fire flickered around her hands and arms, and a dark, swirling ball of flame appeared in the sky. Out of it came red-hot orbs of flame, crashing down at random intervals. Ven impulsively threw another Aeroga down and launched himself into the air, trying to knock away the meteors that strayed too close. One came straight for his face, which felt a little unfair. Had his face not been attacked enough?

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Sora pulling out the Kingdom Key. Ven shook his head quickly, and Sora titled his own, mouthing ‘What?!’, but Ven was out of time.

He landed on the ground behind her in a squat, and a whirlwind began to circle his torso. Eight columns of Light burst from the ground around him, three meeting their mark instantly, tossing Naminé from one to the other before she could catch herself. She hissed as she shook off the pain, but Ven wasn’t finished.

He shot up into the air with a shout of “Light!”, and the columns swirled around him, three more hitting Naminé as she dodged the other two by jumping out of the way. He felt the strength the Thunder had zapped away return like a deep breath, but he hardly noticed. 

Had they not taught her any rolls or dodges? Man, what did the Scientists even teach her; her defensive abilities were practically non-existent, which for a magic user was quite dangerous. He could perfectly imagine the lecture Aqua would give the Scientists, and he had to force his attention back so he didn't start smiling in the middle of battle.

The rest of the columns burst into bright flashes before they reached Xion, Roxas, and Sora, the trio whooping in excitement. Leaves and bells manifested over Naminé’s head as Xion casted a quick Curaga.

“Time stop!” Naminé cried as silver, teal, and black sparks encased her hands, and Ven was frozen.

_ Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Sh _

Naminé raised her glowing brown hands, and the earth under them began to tremble. He could see her mouthing numbers as she counted down, face concentrated.

_ Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. _ He knew what was coming.

The Stop released it’s hold on Ven, but Naminé swung her hands down in an arc before he could roll out of the way.

“Quake!”

Large chunks of earth erupted from the ground, throwing Ven high into the air mercilessly. He let out a pained  _ squeak _ , and after the second launch, he eased into a quick glide. He twirled his Key, and flame encased him as he twisted around and slipped right past Naminé, scorching her in the process. She shot a quick Blizzara in retaliation, and just as he thought it would shoot past him, and it swirled back in a sharp spiral and made its mark, ice painfully crawling up his side. As he landed on his feet and slid backwards from the force, two simultaneous Curagas fluttered above their heads, and he let out a wheeze as the ice evaporated.

Ven dropped into a stance again, watching her carefully. He could see her weighing her options, looking around the area for anything that could help her in their strife. He was thoroughly impressed at the display: what incredible thinking on her part! He knew they’d always fight on the same side, but anyone who fought against her should know to watch out! She’d be a thrilling and dangerous opponent. He knew he hadn't done anything, but the fact that she proudly called him her best friend made his heart flutter with an odd sense of pride.

Naminé got into a very casual stance and grinned, and he rose a bit, perplexed.

“You’re small now.”

With a wave of her now purpley-pink hand, Ven shrunk to the size of a teeny, tiny rat.

He let out a miniscule, blood-thirsty scream as Roxas and Xion’s cackles echoed around the clearing.

“You guys can DO that?” Sora cried, his Key disappearing into sparkles as he put his hands in his hair. “Why can we do that? That’s weird! It’s funny, but--”

Naminé turned to Sora and waved her hands frantically as the color from them faded.

“Aw, Sora, he’s okay! Mini doesn’t hurt at all, unless you step on h--”

“ **_DON’T STEP ON VEN!_ ** ” Sora squeaked in a panic, making Xion and Roxas cackle even louder. Roxas fell to his knees, and Xion placed a hand on his back to support herself so she wouldn’t do the same, tears streaming down her face.

Using their lack of focus to his advantage, Ven raced towards Naminé, which was a feat in and of itself with his now short stature. As the Mini wore off, he raised Lost Memory high into the air. It gleamed with a bright green light, and Naminé turned to face him, a mix of fear and surprise in her eyes.

“ _ WIND! _ ” He shouted, and the Tornado that bursted from the ground picked Naminé up as it grew in size. She let out a shriek as she spun, and Ven pushed the Tornado towards the farmlands, away from him. 

Four Curagas fluttered open above her, one after the other, as soon as she hit the ground with a graceless  _ thud _ . She let out a sigh, but stayed still while Ven ran towards her.

“I guess…” Naminé croaked, peeling herself off of the dusty earth, “I will have to ask Ienzo for more training. Keyblade Wielders fight differently than the Scientists at the castle do.”

Ventus carefully took her arm and pulled her up, making sure to help her lean against him.

“I know we all just Cured you,” he shot his friends a thankful smile, “but are you okay? I figured we were done, also, and I hope that’s alright.”

She grinned weakly at him. “Yes, I’m good. Thank you, Ven. Both for the wonderful fight and the extra Cure, it was very sweet of you. I learned a lot from this, honestly, I think Ienzo will be getting slammed into the ground the next time he assesses my progress. Ah, congratulations on the win, by the way.”

Ven shrugged. “I guess I won in the grand sense,” he grimaced, “but I think that’s one of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever had to go through. Oh my God, never cast Mini on me again- I thought Sora was going to pass out.” Ven straightened his back, floored as he kept replaying the scene in his head. “I almost did, from how much blood went to my face and how fast. God. I didn't even realize you could use it on people, I've only ever used it on Unversed.”

Naminé let out an evil snicker as she brushed off the dirt on her clothes. “I've never used it on someone, but I thought it would be funny. The look on your face... Oh, I wish I could experience it again for the first time.” A nostalgic sigh escaped her, and she leant against Ven.

Ven scoffed. “You can just TELL that you and Kairi are related. You guys--”

“Nami!” Xion ran into the two of them, almost knocking them over if not for Ven’s quick balance-adjusting. “You did beautifully! You totally kicked Ven’s ass right up until the end!”

“Dang. Thanks, Xi.” Ven murmured, and Xion pushed his face away.

“Nami!!” Roxas hit the trio full force, and Ven had to struggle to stop them from toppling over, his legs shaking almost violently. Roxas did not care. 

“Good job! You were awe-inspiring, and I expected no less.”

Naminé giggled, leaning into the hug that he pulled her and Xion into. “Thank you, thank you. I think my training’s been paying off a great deal, and I would like to believe that everyone will be really proud of me.” She nuzzled Xion, “I’m so excited to tell them, you guys should be there when I do.”

“Sora, d-don’t.” Ven wheezed, a shaking hand reaching towards his brother as he ran up. “I can’t hold--  _ PLEASE _ \--,” he sputtered.

Sora held his hands up and pouted at Ven accusatorily.

"Well, now I kinda  _ want _ to, Ven."

Roxas let his best friends go, walking over to Sora and wrapping an arm around his shoulders as he whispered something to him. They quickly entered their own world as they lazed away, so as Xion and Naminé finally separated, Ven took Naminé's hands.

"Naminé, I know you've only spoken to Aqua a few times, and you're a little intimidated by her still," Xion giggled quietly. Naminé bumped her with her hip.

"but I think a couple lessons under your belt would help a lot! I noticed you didn't have any defensive maneuvers,” he glanced at Roxas, leant towards Xion and and Naminé, and lowered his voice, “and while I  _ KNOW _ Roxas will disagree with me, it doesn't matter how strong you are. There will be a time when there comes an opponent that you can't bring down in a hit or two, and you will have to be able to protect yourself."

He leant back and put his hands on his hips, bringing his voice back to its normal volume. "I don't know why he keeps saying that, considering he has that dash he does, as well as a pretty good block... Um, anyways, Aqua's really good at finding your weaknesses, exploiting them, and then teaching you how to work against or around them.”

"Oh, definitely." Xion nodded, wrapping her arms around Naminé's. "Also, she isn't scary in the slightest. Her face might look a little angry, but think of it like Rox! He's got that icy glare of his, but we all know how it melts."

Naminé smiled, sweet as can be as she looked down at Xion lovingly. "How poetic. I'll keep that in mind, thank you both.”

"Wait…" 

Ven looked between Xion and Naminé. "Weren't you guys the same height?"

"Huh?"

They both asked, Naminé confused while Xion looked to be holding herself back from giggling maniacally.

"I thought… I thought you two and Roxas were all the same height."

"Th--" The giggles finally erupted out of Xion, and she held onto Naminé for support. "Oh my God, no, I've always been smaller! I just didn't care enough to grow anymore, like, I'm taller than Sora, so who cares.”

“Why does that matter?” Ven questioned, trying to be offended on Sora’s behalf.

“It’s funny, Ventus. Please get with the program.”

Xion wiped a tear from her eye while Naminé continued processing. “Anyways, I wore heels for a while, but I haven't been feelin' it lately."

"That's so bizarre…" Ven said, distant as he gazed out to the farmlands. Xion's giggles subsided as she did the same, and the trio grew quiet.

"HEY," Roxas put an arm around Xion's shoulders, "are you guys talking about me over here? You giving me a good review?"

"What are you even saying to me right now." Ven deadpanned, confused as he turned towards Roxas.

"Man," Roxas slipped away from Xion and moved to Ven, struggling a little to keep his arm wrapped around Ven's shoulder. "I just wish Kairi was here. She's been so busy with her Master stuff, and we don't hang out as much anymore. I miss her so  **baaaad** . Wait--" Roxas shook Ven. "You call her! If you ask her, she'll be here in like, two seconds."

Ven scoffed as his face heated up. "And what is that supposed to mean?"

Roxas raised an eyebrow. "Uh… Aren't you guys, like, besties or something? People wouldn't stop teasing you two at her Ceremony because she talks about you so much. Surely you know this."

"Wh... _ Both _ of us?"

In a hop of bright light, Xion manifested to Ven's free side. "Aw… that's so cute.” She turned to Roxas and grinned. “I almost want to call her and tell her Ven's here, just to see how they would react."

"All you people do is bully me." Ven whined, still holding Naminé's hand while Xion and Roxas clung to him.

“Wait!” Sora ran up, holding Ven's bag. Ven jerked, but pushed down the impulse to slip away and take the bag. “What about Donald?”

Ven pursed his lips. “…Donald?”

“He's a wizard? Duh?” Sora said, sarcastically. “Probably the strongest one ever, no offense to Aqua. She's powerful, she's just not  _ Donald _ .”

“Respectfully,” Ven smiled, “I will not let myself debate if a duck is stronger than my sister.”

Sora crossed his arms over his chest. “That's cowardice, Ven.”

“Perhaps it is, but we have to choose our battles.” He let out a huff as Roxas playfully kicked dirt at Xion, which was his first mistake. “Besides, I just had a duel, if you will recall. I'm not exactly filled with energy for a debate that, morally, I must win.”

“Ven,” Xion interrupted, “I just remembered something. Roxas and I were talking about Keys, and we wanted to show you some cool ones we have!”

Ventus opened his mouth to speak, but Sora, eyes twinkling, gripped Naminé's arm and spoke before Ven could. “Ooh! I wanna see, I wanna! Can we just share Keys?”

He backed up and in a bright flash, Sora proudly held a sparkling silver, red, and white Key. Sharp, long, beautiful, and somewhat familiar, it seemed to have glitter embedded into it's metal. The Key almost seemed alive, the light on its surface ebbing and flowing like glistening lava. Everyone let out soft  _ 'oohs' _ and  _ 'aahs' _ , and Sora flourished it for added effect.

"This is one of my most recent Ultima Weapons.”

Reaching out his other hand, he pulled another out. Blue and yellow with hints of mint, Ven noticed the angel wing motif and smiled. In fact, both Keys had crowns and hearts, but their colors were so strikingly different, as if they inhabited entirely different spaces in Sora's heart. Perhaps they did. That was not the only thing that was different, though, and Ven lightly touched the symbol on the teeth of the Key with a heavy sigh; it had always reminded him of the Unversed symbol, but he knew it wasn't.

“Dream Eaters.” 

“You know what they are?” Sora asked, clearly taken aback by the revelation.

“Yes, the colorful little animals.” After a few soft taps, Ven finally moved back and smiled at his brother. “Chirithy is one, I'm pretty familiar with the concept.”

Roxas gave Ven's arm a furocious tug, “Okay,  **WELL** !!” and backed up. “I'm bored so it's our turn. Xion, you should show him the green one first! We gotta start off strong!”

Ven put a hand on his cheek, heart beginning to bubble in joy. “Aw, how'd you guys know my favorite color?”

Naminé put a hand over her mouth and chuckled quietly, watching Xion swing her arms as she made her way over to Roxas. “Not only is the little gem next to your locket green, your Wayfinder is, too, so I think we all just assumed.” She turned to Ven and gave him her full attention. “I believe Aqua would associate your favorite color with you, she seems to be the type to pay attention to little details like that.”

Ven smiled softly, putting a hand over his heart. She was the type, wasn't she?

Xion reached her hand out, and in her grip manifested a black key, sans the sharp green metal curving like wings above the handle and the knife-like teeth shaped in a lop-sided 'X'.

Ven's stomach dropped.

“This,” Roxas boasted, “is--”

“ _ Missing Ache. _ ” It's name, a forceful croak of a plea that ripped itself out of Ven. Numbing pain shot through his head, and he doubled over and fell to his knees as he grasped it, squeezing his eyes tight to try and stop the pain.

Consciousness ran from him, as if it were deathly afraid of something he could not see.

\---

_ His vision is both fuzzed and staticed, and he can hardly comprehend it. A girl, orange hair, stands before him. He blinks. _

_ The image shifts. _

_ There is a fox in front of him against blinding darkness. It is the Darkness’ turn to shift, now, and they are surrounded in perfect gray. Against the new backdrop, he can see the large Book between her jaws, see how her teeth sink into the flesh of it's covers and pages. A familiar substance oozes out of the punctures, dark and reflective, and he recognizes it: the waters from the Dark Margin. _

**_(I am deceiving you.)_ ** _ Says the fox, Book beside her in a puddle of the mirrored water. Her teeth still shine with the liquid. _

**_"Why would you do that?"_ ** _ Ven cries.  _ **_"Why would you do that to someone?”_ **

_ Avoiding his question, the fox folds her paws, yellow eyes glistening with a dark tint.  _ **_(Worry not, young one. It has only been you that I have deceived to this measure. I cannot speak for others, those who have deceived many more, under gravely worse circumstances.)_ **

**_“But that doesn't make it okay!”_ ** _ He feels like he's screaming, but all that comes out is a harsh whisper.  _ **_“You used me for something bad, something I can't even remember!”_ **

_ The fox flicks her ears towards him, nods towards his spotless hands. ( _ **_Do you honestly believe your hands are clean, that you are completely blameless in this equation? You could have stopped it, Ventus.)_ **

_ Orange and pink petals drift past his vision, and an arm curls around him from behind, wraps itself around his collar and shoulders. Another arm extends past his right, the long sleeve it wears encasing it like petals around pollen-coated stems. _

**_{Bewitch him no longer, filthy wretch.}_ ** _ An unfamiliar voice, gentle and harsh all at once, sounds. The right hand extends out and begins to glow bright orange and red.  _ **_{You have caused more than enough grief, and your time has come and gone; he is under my protection, and I will no longer let you near him. The torment you plague upon him ends, here and now!}_ **

_ The fox jumps to her feet and hisses as bright fire leaves the hand and wraps in coils around her feet. The Book burns away.  _ **_(You lost! I made sure of it myself!)_ **

**_{In your rush to guarantee your success,}_ ** _ the voice booms,  _ **_{you sealed your own fate. You know this is your own fault, you know it always has been. The fault was never his for being a victim, for being the one you chose to shield yourself against divine judgement. Begone!}_ **

_ Ventus strains to look up, and as his eyes begin to open and his sight blurs, he catches freezing tears against his forehead. _

Air filled his lungs and Ven took it in, breathing in deep and loud. He pushed himself up, chest rising and falling as he labored to bring himself back to the present.

“Ventus?!”

Naminé put a hand on his forehead, searching his eyes. “Are you alright? They brought you back home, I couldn't see your dream, and I don't have my monitors, I--”

Ven put his hands silently over the one on his forehead. The whites of her eyes grew, and her breathing began to calm.

“Ven,” she began, slowly, “I need you to be completely honest with me. What did you see in your dream? I will not judge you, and I will not hate you, but I need to know.  **Please** .”

He nodded, and struggled to collect the dream that was already half gone. “There was... a girl. She had orange hair, and then there was a fox, w-with a book clamped so tightly in her teeth, it was oozing the water from the Dark Margin.”

Nauseated at how graphic it had been, he forced himself to continue. “A-and I..." he holds his forehead, and there's pain, but nothing else.

Naminé pulled herself away from him, seating herself in his desk chair. She covered her mouth with her hand and wrapped her free hand around her wrist, and even with just her eyes and eyebrows, her perturbed expression was visceral. Guilt began to pound and rip at Ven's heart, and he put his hands over the space to try and quell it. This wasn't the time.

"I didn't want to be right." She finally whispered, and his eyebrows furrowed.

“You  _ knew _ ?” He tried not to sound hurt, but it cracked through his voice. The way her face scrunched up in guilt only made his voice become drenched in it. “I thought you said you couldn't see, I-- Why would you make me recall it if--”

Naminé shook her head quickly. “I have seen your inner thoughts and memories twice a week for the past year, Ventus. I know things that you cannot access, because your heart won't let you.”

“Why…” He began to cry, but for what, or who, he couldn’t know. “Why would it…?”

“Our memories, they're like chains.” She explained. “Unbreakable, wrapped around your heart as they refuse to let go, even the painful ones. This is not a bad thing, hurt is one of the experiences we go through that makes us alive, makes us human. Our experiences, hurt and not, collect together to shape us into who we are.”

Naminé stood up, then, and sat next to him on his bed once again. As tears twinkled down her cheeks, she took his fingers, mercifully, lovingly, and rested them against her eyes.

“I never want you to be a different person, Ven. I want you to be you, always and forever. As much as you need to, you can change and grow, but please, stay the Ven who is my best friend. The Ven whose heart is so intricately intertwined with mine, whose mere presence has lit up even the darkest parts of my heart. Please,” she whimpered, and gripped his hands as she begged. “please. You were so different, you...”

“Naminé,” He cooed, lightly putting their foreheads together, “Naminé, I'll always be Ven. I'll always be me, with my entire heart I swear I will be. Please, trust me.”

Carefully, she held out a pinky finger.

"Do you promise?”

He wrapped his own in it without hesitation or second thought. “With everything I am, with everything I will be, I promise you, my friend: you will always know me.”

Her expression was brimming with such unfiltered love that he thought his heart to burst. “You didn't have to rhyme, you know.” She whispered, eyelids heavy. “You're almost too endearing, sometimes.”

Ven lightly  _ bonked _ his forehead against hers and wiggled, making her giggle softly. “It just felt right, in the moment.”

“...Ven…” Naminé's smile faltered. “There is a large chunk of your chains that are rusted and cracked. I can remove the rust, I can heal the cracks, but it will take a long time, and it will be risky.” She looked so deep into his eyes that he had to look away. “You might get hurt in the process, but the pain will not be suffering, it will not last. I know we are still looking for darkness, and I am only offering this now so you may think about it; I request that you do not decide right now. When we find the darkness, if you would like me to repair what has been broken, I will do it for you.”

Ven nodded, bit his tongue. He had made his choice before she asked. He wanted to know them again. He owed it to them, to their memory.

\---

“I'm…” She laughed, light as she looked at the screen. “I can't believe it.”

Ven pushed himself up from the seat, rubbing his eyes as his headache pounded in his forehead. He was just thankful that it wasn't a bad one today.

“Light again?”

“Ventus, I've found your darkness.”

Ven almost fell off the chair.

“You did??”

It was over halfway through summer; if he had expected it at any time, it surely wasn’t now.

She waved him over, and he took his place beside her. A few button presses later, a diagram of his heart took up the entire screen. She pressed another button, and the room dimmed as the bright pink heart diagram spun slowly between them.

“Look,” She reached her hand out, palm up, and put it under a small, constantly moving ball of dark. She cradled it carefully, as if a treasured memory. “here it is. This, Ventus, is your darkness.”

“It's so small.” He sighed, almost wistful, leaning closer to see it better.

She frowned quite deeply. “I'm sure it was smaller before. The only reason it grew, well… You are a scientific phenomenon, Ven. I don't feel right saying that about a person, but it is true.”

Ven nodded, back away from the heart and returning to his chair, nonchalant. “It is what it is.”

Naminé pressed a button, and the diagram disappeared as the room lit up once again. “I suppose. I'm sorry that the circumstances are what they are, and I'm sorry it took so long. From what I can tell, the darkness began to continually move once it caught wind that I was looking for it.”

“It was smart enough to do that?” He asked, swinging his legs.

“It’s a bit of a mystery, and it doesn’t really make sense… The darkness, it’s connected to you, but it’s not exactly sentient.” She crossed her arms and hummed. “It could only do something if you wanted it to, but…” 

Naminé frowned. 

“I guess we’ll have to study it some more to come to a full conclusion, other than hypothesis via personal bias and concern, since that’s not exactly scientific… Even if I’m sure I’m right. Uh--” She glanced to Ven, then ran a hand through her hair to try and bring her focus back. “Anyways, there were streaks of its path, though I could not find it.successfully… until today, of course! Too big to avoid my radar, especially with the tweaks I made.”

Ven smiled weakly. “I'm really happy for you, Naminé. Sorry I can't be more excited, my headaches haven't left yet.”

She put a hand on his arm sympathetically. “Forehead again?”

He nodded.

“I see. Well, you do not need to apologize. Actually, if you wish, we can begin talking about your memories, the ones that are--”

There was a knock on the door, catching them both off-guard.

“You may enter.” Naminé spoke, after a moment of hesitation.

After a moment of what Ven could only assume was hand-scanning, the door  _ swooshed _ open, and an old blonde man he'd never seen before entered with his hands held neatly behind his back. A long red scarf was twisted and folded in a loop over his shoulder.

Naminé's grip on Ven's arm tightened as she went stiff, and Ven froze. She glanced at him, removed her hand to join it with her other, resting it on her pelvis.

“Ah, King Ansem!” She smiled blandly at him, bowing slightly. “You never enter the lab when Ven is here. To what do we owe the appearance?”

Ansem chuckled heartily. “Now, now, Naminé. You're always so formal and stressed, you must relax before you start looking as wrinkly as I do!”

As he made his way over to the pair, every bone in Ven's body told him to take Naminé's hand and run as fast as he could, but he held himself back. If he were to do that, there was a high chance Naminé could get in trouble, and his uncertainty was too great to dispute it rationally. He argued that he knew what effect this poor excuse for a king had on her, that he had seen it time and time again when she spoke of him. Even as he walked towards him, it felt like the joy and love in her had been shut in and locked tightly in a cage, and he had to push down the rising violence that boiled in his stomach. He would  _ not _ let Naminé recieve the fallout from any reckless impulsivity.

“Ventus, it has been so long!” He took Ven's hand and shook it forcefully. “As you have heard from your companion here, I am Ansem, King of Radiant Garden. Though, you may feel free to simply refer to me as Ansem, haha! My, how you have grown since I last saw you.”

“Um, since you… last saw--”

His loud, forced laugh made Ven jump. “Ah, yes! My apologies, I am getting on in years, as fate would have it. It was over a decade ago, I was one of the ones who collected data on you and the other two as you scurried around my humble kingdom; Aqua and the brown-haired one, was it? Even seemed so interested in you, and he does not become interested in just  _ anything _ , I hope you know. I decided to climb onto his little project to see where it would go, and here we are as it stares back at me!”

Ansem laughed once again, and Ven's eyes flickered to the moment of Naminé's fists clenching so tightly that her knuckles lightened.

“Still to this day,” he continued, abhorrently, “your case is one that's extremely fascinating. Naminé has been looking through your heart for some time, hasn't she? How the years flow by… I do trust,” the king looked down his nose at her, “that our notes were helpful?”

The smile that graced Naminé's face was painful, and it hurt Ven to see her like this. He couldn't imagine how abysmal she must’ve felt. “Yes, they gave me a good platform to start with. Thank you, Ansem. We were just wrapping up, actua--”

“Oh, must you leave so soon?” Ansem interrupted, looking back at Ven as if Naminé hadn’t been there in the first place. “You must have gone through such ordeals, putting your heart through stress and trials that us Scientists could only dream of. I can only begin to imagine the kind of scientific progress we could make, the leaps, if we could study you! Naminé has a little joke, you know; she has your files guarded with a password and pin that she hasn't told anyone, even Ienzo! Perhaps you could convince her to unlock it for the sake of science, hm?”

Ven  **_burned_ ** .

“I-I'm sorry, I actually  _ really _ have to leave. I'm looking for my brother, Vanitas!” He laughed, awkward and uncomfortable, and his heart squeezed as he grew angry at himself for reacting in such a way. “He's, um, he's been missing, y'see, and--”

Ansem sighed, loud, drawn out, and annoying. Ven's heart bristled. “Ah, the darkness to your light… I've heard through the grapevine that you were looking for him, it is unfortunate to hear you are still continuing your plight.”

“Unfortunate?” Naminé finally spoke, anger barely masked as she stepped closer to Ven. Ven couldn't stop staring at her clenched fists, how violently they shook.

“Come now, Naminé.” Ansem shook his head, not bothering to hide how disappointed in her he was. “Again, with silly antics such as these? There is no reason to feed into such a delusion. We all know this is a meaningless effort.”

Ven's heart dropped and shattered into pieces upon pieces. His eyebrows raised, painfully so, and his spine went straight as he stared at Ansem in abject horror.

He couldn't even muster the strength to gasp.

“I doubt he's still with us, in fact.”

The king turned away, looking disinterestedly at the screen.

Ven covered his mouth with a trembling hand, unstoppable streams of tears tumbling over and around it. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't remember how.

“I cannot imagine it to be too terrible a loss, if it could be considered a loss at all. He wasn't a good person from what I‘ve heard; really, it seems he wasn't a person at al--”

With the speed of lightning, hand encased with a dark, pulsing light, Naminé reeled back and smacked Ansem the Wise, the King of Radiant Garden, with her open palm to the side of his face.

Air finally found its way to Ven as it slammed into his lungs with a sharp gasp.

Ansem stumbled backwards, hand gripping the left side of his face as he stared at the wall opposite of the monitors, eyes shaking with raw fear. Steam billowed out from under his hand, and he wheezed quietly. His eyes, and only his eyes, moved to look at his attacker.

Still hunched over and breathing heavy, Naminé suddenly turned her head and looked up at him, eyes sparking with righteous fury and hatred born from years of suffering and abuse under the man who stood before them, the man who was now weak and frail. Stray tears hung in her eyes, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry.

Naminé was no longer helpless, like both had once been so sure she was.

“ **Get.** **_Out._ ** ” Naminé commanded, squinting,  _ seething _ , the mere act of having to look at him making her fury all the more intense. “ **_Never_ ** **. Speak to Ven again. To** **_any_ ** **of us. Or I. Will send you. To the Realm of Darkness.** **_Myself_ ** .”

She bared her teeth, her shoulders sinking as she said each phrase with heavy, violent intent. “ **_I will not be merciful_ ** **_._ ** **_You will not_ ** **_._ ** **_Make it out_ ** **_._ ** **_A third time_ ** **.** ”

Without a word, Ansem the Wise, the King of Radiant Garden, turned and scurried out the door with his tail between his legs.

“ **_Naminé!_ ** ”

As soon as the door slid closed, Ventus launched himself out of his chair and knelt in front of Naminé. He brought her down into her arms as she began to weep loudly, wrapping her arms around his torso and clinging to him like a lifeline.

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,” She hiccuped, shaking her head. “I'm sorry, I didn't-- I couldn't protect--” Another wail choked out of Naminé, and Ven held her all the more tighter, smoothing her hair as he rocked her gently.

“ _ Shhh, shhh _ , it's okay.” He murmured. “It's okay, you didn't do anything wrong. You haven't, you haven't.”

“Ven,” Naminé gripped him so tightly that it started to hurt, and he winced quietly. “you don't know. You don't, you--” She began to wail again, loosening her grip as her words came out in a rush. “ _ I'm sorryI'm sorryI'm so  _ **_sorry_ ** _ - _ -”

The door behind them opened, and someone ran inside in a panic. Ven wouldn’t let go of Naminé to see who it was, he only held her tighter, more protectively.

A hand placed itself on his shoulder, and a mop of silver-blue hair shoved its way carelessly into his view.

“Ventus, what happened? I saw Ansem the Wise scutter out of here like some type of small rodent, but I heard crying from down the hall, before the door shut.”

“IENZO?” Ventus forgot where he was for a moment, but when Naminé hiccuped in surprise, he collected himself.

“Sorry, he--” He grimaced. “He said bad, bad things, I--” 

Ven grumbled. “Naminé slapped him for it.”

Ienzo gasped, turning to Naminé. “You did?!”

Naminé pulled away from Ven with a big  _ sniff _ , nodding as she wiped her eyes with her coat sleeve. “Y-yeah, I--”

Ienzo took her hands and pulled her up, beaming with pride. “Naminé, Naminé! The--! You--!” He wrapped his arms around her head, and muffled half-sobs half-giggles bubbled out of Naminé. “But you must have been so frightened, I cannot imagine it any other way.”

Ienzo leant down and took her cheeks in his hands, wiping her tears away with his thumbs. “You did wonderfully, fantastically so. I do not wish to rush you, but you do understand what must happen next, correct? Things will no longer be the same.”

He put their foreheads together.

“But you will not be left alone. The apprentices are behind you no matter what you do. We believe in you, we have since we saw the shift upon on the horizon.”

“Wait,” Ven put a hand on Naminé’s leg. “what’s happening next?”

Naminé moved to help Ven up, holding his hands as she grinned.

“We’re going to overthrow Ansem the Wise.” She spoke, clear and direct.

“Radiant Garden will no longer have a king.”

“We have a lot of planning that we must accomplish.” Ienzo tapped the chair absentmindedly to a rhythm only he could hear, staring into space as he thought. “And that is not counting what we must do after the planning. It will be a strenuous task, but I believe we are more than up to the challenge ahead of us. Naminé,”

She turned back to Ienzo.

“you will be leading the charge, will you not? You are old enough, now.”

“Um…” Naminé tapped Ven’s hands with her thumb, squinting her eyes as she glanced around the space in front of her. After a few moments, Ven glancing between her and Ienzo while they waited with understanding patience, she squeezed Ven’s hands and took a deep, determined breath in. Turning fully to Ienzo and putting a hand over her heart, she nodded.

“I would love nothing more. I accept the position I have been so graciously offered.”

Ienzo lovingly ruffled her hair. “Not yet, Naminé. You have to say it in front of the group! But you have the right energy for it, and you should keep it up. Ah, Ventus?”

Ven grinned, taking a step towards him and glancing down.

“Call me Ven!”

A grimace flashed across Ienzo’s face as he looked up at Ven, but he smiled once again as he took Ven’s hand in an awkward but friendly manner.

“Yes, of course, Ven. We must get to work now, but we will be keeping in touch, will we not?” They glanced at Naminé, and she nodded.

“Wonderful. I’ll see you later, Ven. It was wonderful to re-meet-- Oh!”

He clasped his other hands around Ven’s, giving his hand a squeeze as he grinned.

“Thank you for saving me all those years ago, I do so appreciate it. I would be honored to treat you sometimes… Are you a fan of ice cream, like Roxas is?”

“Aw,” Ven puffed, “nobody’s as big a fan of ice cream as Roxas is. I’ll take anything you hand me; I mean, I’m kinda dumbfounded that you wanna treat me at all! I was just helping out.”

Ienzo smirked sinisterly at Naminé. “He truly is just like you said. How sweet.”

Naminé’s cheeks flushed and she shoved Ienzo away from Ven. “Ugh, come on! Wait, I-- Ven,” she ran back to him, taking his hands in her own, 

“will you be alright? The things that he said…”

He smiled.

“Go on, you have a lot to do! I’ll be fine, I will.”

She eyed him, but then gave a curt nod.

“You know the way out, Ventus. Be safe, okay? I love you with my entire heart.”

“Love you, too!” He called, just before the door  _ swished _ shut.

Ven turned to the chair, slipping on his jacket and straps and pulling his bag over his shoulder in silence. He stood still for a long moment, looking at the diagram of his heart that floated, still on the monitor. Naminé had threatened that  _ repulsive _ man with the Realm of Darkness… he pondered, if that was an empty threat, or if she had meant it? Could she get to the Realm on her own? He had thought it was a difficult task, but he, Aqua, and Terra had gone in and out together so many times before, hadn’t they? While Namine would never help him sneak in, surely it just took… someone powerful enough to open a portal to the Realm. The only people who were consistently powerful were the Masters, weren’t they. 

Was there one he could trust with not telling anyone else? Most of them wouldn’t work, they wouldn’t allow him to go, and he wasn’t in the mood to hear ‘no’ when it regarded Vanitas. He considered Kairi for a moment: he could easily see her saying yes, but... he didn’t think he could stand seeing her worry over him. The thought itself made him place a hand over his locket to try and ease his anxiety. That only really left...

He gripped his bag tighter.

He needed to speak to Master Yen Sid.

\---

“Good morning, Master Yen Sid.”

Yen Sid sat comfortably in his chair, plain brown pajamas replacing his usual blue robe as he held a steaming cup of tea. Taking a deep breath, Ven smiled: the room smelled like clementines. 

“Ventus, it is wonderful to see you.” Yen Sid waved his hand, and a chair appeared on his right side. Ven walked over and sat in it quietly.

“Please accept my deepest apologies, a month's time to wait as patiently as you have for our meeting to take place… I would have wished for a quicker turnaround. I have an almost constant flow of visitors coming in and out of the Tower, and as you are sure to know, Riku has taken refuge in one of the spare rooms in the East Wing.”

There was an East Wing? Didn’t the Tower just go up? Augh, he didn’t have time or energy to think about how it worked.

“It’s alright, sir. I kept busy with training and looking, so I wasn't just sitting. Really, I’m just glad you were able to make our meeting happen. I hope the timing isn’t too difficult for you.”

“Not at all.” Yen Sid’s smile was light. “True, it is before the warmth of dawn, but that is fine for me. If I must, I can simply sleep, so there is no trouble on my end. Now,”

He set his tea down.

“Something must be troubling you, Ventus, as you do not visit my Tower often. Nay, you do not hold to such secrecy, if I am to recall correctly.”

“Y-you’re right, Master Yen Sid.” Ven pulled his left leg up, setting it horizontal across his knee as he took a very deep breath in. He let it out in a huff, then continued.

“You said, some months back, that you would help me in any way I needed, that all I had to do was ask. I’m here to ask you something, but please, please, you can’t tell anyone, especially Aqua or Terra.”

“You have my word, dear Ventus.”

He put his hand over his heart, gripping the fabric of his jacket.

“I want to go into the Realm of Darkness, and I need your help to do so.”

The whites of Yen Sid’s eyes grew bigger than Ven had ever seen.

“Well, I…” He cleared his throat. “I must admit, this is not what I had assumed you were going to request, but I suppose it is a more than manageable task. Before I come to a decision, I must ask: whyever do you want to go into the Realm of Darkness on your own?”

He reached for his bag, searching for the familiarity and comfort, but it wasn’t there; he’d left it home on purpose, placed it carefully on his desk, fearing the safety of the gift inside. Tears built in his eyes, but Ven wouldn’t lose his cool. Not here. Not now. He needed to save his strength, anyways.

“Whenever I do something even remotely dangerous, everyone tries to stop me. I’m more than capable; I’ve had all this training, and what point is there to it if I can’t use it to its fullest extent? I digress, though. Ultimately…” He put his fingers on the locket that rested on his collar, that Kairi had worked so hard to create for him out of nothing.

“I want to find Vanitas, and he could  _ be _ there. It’s the one place I haven’t looked.”

“Are you certain this is what you wish?”

Ven nodded.

“With all my heart.”

“With all your heart…”

Yen Sid gazed outside to the stars. He searched them for a few achingly long moments before letting out a swift sigh.

He nodded. 

“Follow me, then.” 

Master Yen Sid stood up and walked around his desk, opening the door to the room Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather tended to occupy. Ven walked in carefully, wringing his hands as he looked around at the covered mirrors. It seemed so empty without them fluttering around it, and a part of his heart wished that he could go back to that time, where he was surrounded with people who cared, where he was going to meet Roxas for ice cream later.

Roxas…

Guilt began to eat at him. What would Roxas say; Xion, Sora? He knew he had promised them he wouldn’t be reckless, knew he had sworn to it. The fear in Rox and Xion’s eyes as they recalled Sora’s disappearance-- He couldn’t allow something like that to happen again, to hurt them again like it had so terribly the first time.

He knew Naminé would worry, too. Ven hoped they wouldn't be too mad at him.

If Vanitas was in the Realm of Darkness, he couldn’t leave him there, not as alone and scared as the Vanitas in his mind was, shivering and afraid and hurt. Wherever Vanitas was, he must be so lonely, and the thought threatened to shred his heart and scatter the remains to the winds.

With that idea of Vanitas in his mind, his heart set.

There was no more room for doubt.

“I won’t be going in with my armor.” Ven stated, much to the Master’s very physical surprise as he reeled back and looked to him.

“Um-- It’s too risky,” he hadn’t realized that Master Yen Sid could very well say no to him, “it’s loud, it slows me down; I’m not looking for Sora this time, and I’ve been training very hard with-- for fights like this.”

He hadn’t even told them he was going out.

He hoped they were sleeping peacefully.

“Besides, Aqua survived on her own without her armor, so... surely I can, right?”

Master Yen Sid looked sadly at him.

“I can only request that you do your very best to be safe, Ventus.” He warned. “Do not spend more time than you need. You cannot afford to be greedy, not on your own.”

Ven watched as Yen Sid raised his hand, purple and black wisps beginning to curve around it. A swirl of white entered the mix quickly, and when it reached the end of his fingertips, the three colors shot out and created a large corridor. He could see the Realm on the other side.

“I will, sir.”

He took Master Yen Sid’s hands into his own and gave him a small smile.

“Thank you. I won’t forget that you did this for me.”

He reached his arm out, and Lost Memory fluttered into his grasp, light feathers curling around his fingers before fading into nothingness.

With a deep breath, he stepped in the portal.

The Dark opened before him, and the first thought he was able to pull from his racing mind was, ‘ _ When does the Realm of Darkness change? Does it ever? _ ’

The second was how strange it was that he seemed to shimmer. Ven moved his arms around, admiring his sparkling hands. Was this new? He couldn’t imagine why, but he wondered if it had always been like this, and he hadn’t noticed because his armor was on. If that was the case, that would have been kinda weird. Well, he would adapt to it, he supposed.

He remembered, vaguely, Aqua telling him that the flow of time was more extreme in the Realm of Darkness than any of the differing Worlds in the Realm of Light. 

‘ _ You can feel that it has been a long time, _ ’ Aqua had told him, ‘ _ but you cannot know how long it has truly been, cannot begin to visualize it. Your feet can hurt, you can be tired and cold, but you will not be able to grasp for how long you have been walking, how many days you’ve shivered and hungered. _ ’

Ven glanced back to the empty space where the portal had been. He hadn’t realized that the Master would shut it, and the frown that pulled across his face was deep. No going back, he guessed. Well, he would worry about it later. For now, he had other things to worry about.

As he began to walk, he observed the silent surroundings. The rocks, like mushrooms, seemed to stretch to the ceiling, higher and higher as they always had, and perhaps, as they always would. Was there even a point where the realm stopped going up? It made him dizzy to think about, so he shook his head to clear his thoughts.

The lack of smells and sound freaked him out more than he thought it would. The only thing he could really smell was the clementine smell that had stuck to him from the Tower, and he pulled up his arm and sniffed quietly to keep himself from feeling detached. 

He figured that being weird would be okay, since no one else was here. 

A smile grew on his face as an idea popped into his head.

“Chirithy?” Ven whispered, looking around the ground for his little friend to backflip out.

But he didn’t.

“...Chirithy?” Ven raised his voice a little, squinting as he looked around. Maybe the Realm messed with his teleporting stuff, maybe he was just a little bit aways from where he was supposed to be! That made sense, right?

Chirithy still didn’t appear. Chirithy never took this long to appear, and he wouldn’t play a joke like this on Ven, not when he was in the Realm of Darkness. He gripped his heart as it began to pound, as sweat began to manifest at his temples. Chirithy was the one being who he could always count on to be at his side no matter what. If Chirithy wasn’t here, then he was--

He pushed the thought out. Instead of thinking about it any more, the grip he had on his Key tightened, and he picked up his pace. He had to find Vanitas as soon as possible.

Groups of Heartless would pop up from time to time, but it wasn’t anything he hadn’t handled thousands of times before. Neo Shadows, regular Shadows, some Darkballs. A few blocks, an Aeroga and two Strike Raids were enough to get rid of most groups, and he would repeat the process as the Heartless started to send out more than one wave for each battle.

It still wasn’t difficult. Was he just too strong now?

The worst part was how quiet the Heartless were. Their usual wibbles were now barely audible, and he was beginning to suspect that the entire Realm of Darkness was holding its breath. He didn’t understand why, just as he didn’t understand his glowing skin. Maybe this was simply another thing he hadn’t noticed during his first visits here; he, Aqua, and Terra had talked so much, laughed so loud, confident that the lights of their bond would guide Sora back home. He wasn’t here, so they hadn’t. 

Honestly, he wasn’t sure it would work for Vanitas, so he didn’t bother to try and talk to himself. His light couldn’t possibly be strong enough to attract anything on it’s own, save for pesky Heartless that didn’t seem to stop coming.

He shot a Fira at a Darkball and it melted into darkness.

And everything was silent once again.

“UGH!” Ven shouted, slashing in rapid succession at a nearby rock. “CAN SOMETHING IN HERE MAKE NOISE OTHER THAN MY SHOES??”

But nobody came.

He let out another shout, nonsensical as it curved into a wail. He grabbed his hair as tears formed in his eyes. Why did he wail, at what? For who? He didn’t know, and at this point, he didn’t care. Maybe the Realm of Darkness was beginning to affect him, and as he put one tired foot in front of the other, he tried to shove away any regret in his chest.

At one point, filtered light hit his eye, and he jumped back and covered his eyes.

“Um, ow.” He groaned, glaring at the crack in the rocks it had shone through.

“Kind of rude. You should be more considerate, I think.”

He looked up the rockface, and glanced behind him. If he was smart about it, he could probably get over the top and see what was shining so brightly. Quickly, he jumped to a lower rock, then pushed himself to jump higher. He just barely gripped the ledge, and tugged himself up while kicking against the stone to help in his scramble.

The Dark Margin opened before him, and he couldn’t help but wonder if the Realm wanted him to go here. This was where they had found Aqua, right? He guessed it was understandable that he was led here, too.

Ven jumped down onto the gray sands, relishing in the crunching sands, doing a few jumps and hops to make the noise louder. He breathed out a contented sigh, smiling stretching across his face for the first time in…

Geez, how long had it been? He looked across the waters and frowned. It probably hadn’t been that long, if he checked his phone, he--

And of course his phone wasn’t in his dumb pocket.

He slapped a hand to his forehead, sighing as he plopped onto the sands and sprawled out. Whatever, he could just take a nap, and then he could keep looking! He held out Lost Memory and summoned a barrier, and after a moment of thought, set out one more. After a spell of Vanish, he nodded, and after pulling Lost Memory close to his chest, he closed his eyes and concentrated on drifting to sleep.

\---

A scream of rage, and the door melted to the ground.

And Master Aqua swirled like a vicious storm into Yen Sid’s chambers.

“Oh, Master Aqua!” The old man held a wrinkly hand over his chest, the fingers of his other still under the next page of the book he was reading. “Goodness, you certainly know how to make an entrance. What do you--”

“No games.” Aqua drove Master’s Defender into the desk’s wood, sending splinters exploding out in a fan. Aqua’s barrier protected her and the brother behind her, and she detested that Yen Sid’s did the same.

“Where is Ventus.”

“Has he been missing?” Yen Sid asked, almost detached; a stark contrast from how brightly she  _ burned _ inside that just made her all the more furious. In other circumstances, perhaps she would have quelled her anger, would have stopped herself from showing any irritation. “He does not visit often, I am never quite sure about his whereabouts.”

He looked back to his book.

“Am I to believe that you and Terra are  _ not _ his keepers?”

“Do not lie to me!” Aqua cried, hand beginning to swirl with an icy blue light as tears stung her eyes. “Not about Ven! When the blame is rightfully mine, I will not back down from it-- we both know I have  **_NO_ ** hand in this!”

“Aqua.” Terra’s hands finally wrapped around her bicep, and he pulled her back. If it were not for the carefully held-back fury deep within his eyes, she reasoned she would have thrown him to the ground out of impulse. As he turned to the Master, she took a few deep breaths in silence, beginning to chew upon the inside of her cheek.

“Sir, please, we need to know where Ven is. He’s been missing for 24 hours, at  least , and Kairi hasn’t been seen either. The only person who knew anything was Mickey, and he brought us here.”

She was impressed by how well Terra could mask his words with kindness and etiquette when she knew full well how he felt.

Yen Sid’s eyebrows raised, clearly taken aback more by the mouse’s eavesdropping than Kairi’s disappearance. The mere idea made her feel  _ vilely _ ill.

“Mickey did? And where are you?”

The small king finally stepped over the puddle of a door, waving shyly to his old teacher.

“Uh…” He laughed, awkwardly, as his tail flicked in anxiety and restless energy. She understood the feeling. “hiya. I was gonna give ya my report early, ‘cos I was awake ‘n’ all. But when I reached your door, it was cracked, an’ I heard you ‘n’ Ven talkin’, which I thought was strange; he’s not usually around, and it was so early-- But then I heard ya mentioning the Realm of Darkness, and--”

Mickey let out a shaky breath. “I couldn’t let another kid get lost. I wouldn’t.”

“If Mickey can strive to change, to better himself,” Aqua said, putting a forgiving and thankful hand upon his head, “then why can’t  _ you _ ? Why do you have to keep something this serious from us? You must know what’s at stake!”

“I do not need to 'better myself', as you so irrationally claim, and neither does Mickey.” Yen Sid sighed, with a condescending shake of the head. “He did not abandon you in the Realm of Darkness; honestly, I cannot understand why you are still concerned about the topic to begin with, or why you continue to so wrongfully blame him for such a thing. I ordered him to stay, to not breathe a word to anyone until we could gather the strength required to rescue you.”

She raised her head just so. “What do you mean by this.”

She felt Terra’s grip on her arm tighten, but she knew it was not because of her. The fire in his eyes was unmistakable.

“It would have been a _ foolish _ mistake, I am sure you have assessed this much, as intelligent as you are. One Wielder lost is better than two, three, even four. We were fortunate enough to have Sora and Riku’s strong connection to save the three of you from the Realm of Darkness, but think of when you first met with the King in the Realm of Darkness.”

The old man shook his head, folding his hands into his long blue sleeves as he treated this all like an annoyance; children making a ruckus in his office.

“When Mickey finally returned, he wanted to stage a poor excuse of a rescue attempt, but I knew it was a terrible, idiotic decision. And with how thoroughly he and Master Riku were defeated the first time they entered the Realm- nay, the second time, as well, by one who had been caged in the Realm of Darkness for over a decade, no less- I was confident that I had made the correct decision. I still am, since you are standing before me, well enough to throw this...”

He grimaced distastefully.

“... **_tantrum_ ** of yours. If you wish to inquire about something, you will be able to do it without need for such childish emotion. Ventus is a mere child, and yet for as wracked with emotion as he was about his lost brother, he still managed to ask for my assistance in a cool-headed manner. I know you are more well-behaved than this; what would Eraqus say?”

Terra wisely took Mickey’s hand in his own and backed up to the safety of the bookshelf.

Aqua cleared her mind.

She calmly stepped back, reached her arm out, graceful and delicate as could be. Master’s Defender fluttered into her grasp, and she pointed it directly at Yen Sid’s face, much to his and Mickey’s surprise.

“Aqua--!”

Terra quickly shook his head at Mickey, and the mouse grew quiet.

“Listen to me, old man.” 

Aqua growled, an orb of light manifesting at the teeth of her Key. Her father’s Key. 

“You will open a portal to the Realm of Darkness, you will locate where Ventus is,”

chains began to manifest in curls around the orb, golden and shining,

“or you will lose your life, here and now.”

\---

The only thing greeting Ven when he opened his eyes was the faint crashing of waves on the shore. He slowly pushed himself up, careful to brush his hands off before he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He still felt so exhausted, he almost didn’t want to get up. He played with the idea briefly before letting out a groan as he vanished the barriers above him.

Ven glanced to the water. He pursed his lips, moving them side to side. Aqua said she’d fallen in this water, hadn’t she?

He crawled to the edge and sat, folding his legs and resting his forearms on his knees as his fingers brushed against the sands. He closed his eyes and listened for a few dull moments, thinking about how Sora, Roxas and Xion had told him that the sound of waves relaxed them, calmed their nerves even at the most dire of times. At the time, he had thought it was sweet, thought that perhaps he felt the same, but all these waves did was irritate him and he didn’t know WHY, which only made him angrier. His hands clenched into fists, and he opened his eyes.

A push onto his knees, and Ven leant over the water. Instead of the reflection he expected, all he got was bright, reflected light, so bright that he squinted his eyes from the pain. He looked away, ignoring the pain. No details, just light. It’s not him, it’s just his light, but at the same time, wasn’t that what he had been told he was? Wasn’t he just light? It took so long for Naminé to find any darkness, and the darkness he had had ran away when she began to look.

He hadn’t realized his darkness would listen to his heart so intensely. He didn’t want it to. He didn’t want for his friends, for  _ Naminé,  _ to realize how much he pushed his feelings down. He wasn’t even sure why he felt like he had to hide them, was it guilt? Was it embarrassment? What was he so embarrassed of in the first place, everyone had emotions!

Emotions…

He glanced at the light that shone back on him, glanced at his hands and arms. He still hadn’t found Vanitas, it was still all his fault that Vanitas was on his own.

Ven reeled back and smacked the water, but it refused to make noise.

And this time, he let out a blood-chilling  _ scream _ .

He was sick of it.  _ Why _ had he been so unsuccessful,  _ what _ was he doing wrong?  _ Why _ did people only give him false hope, false promises and excitement, when that  _ awful _ man had been the only one to be honest with him. It had been so long, almost two years, and he had no progress to show for every second he had looked tirelessly. All of his fears, the thoughts he’d had that had frightened him so intensely that he thought he might freeze where he stood, they had been right, hadn’t they? If Vanitas was still alive, he didn’t want to be found, and he most certainly didn’t want to see Ven again. Why would he, when he probably thought Ven didn’t care about him, and why would Vanitas want to see someone he hated? He had been fooling himself, when he thought that he caught Vanitas smiling, or laughing, or caring. Vanitas hated him.

But Ven was selfish, and the realization brought tears that he couldn’t stop.

He was more selfish than anyone he’d ever met. He barely paid attention to his other friends, to those he considered his  _ siblings _ , hardly put time into relationships with anyone, all so he could focus on the brother he refused to stop chasing after. Shouldn’t he just let him go? If he hated Ven, shouldn’t Ven leave him be, give him space? Why couldn’t Ven just STOP, why couldn’t he see when enough was ENOUGH? Why was he so stubborn, why couldn’t they just go separate ways and leave it at that?

Even now, digging his fingers into the sand, the only thing he wanted, with all his heart--

“VEN??”

Aqua’s shriek of fear echoed over the rocks and across the beach, and Ven pushed himself onto his knees. She and Terra’s armor clanked, he could hear them coming. 

Something inside of him twisted and writhed, demanding to be acknowledged. He stood up without a sound and turned his back to the water. He glanced down, watching as it’s gentle, knowing waters rippled against the shoe that just barely touched it, as if it was daring him to test it, to see what would happen if he, too, sunk into its depths, just as Aqua had. Would he be affected in the same way? What a thought.

“VEN--!”

Terra called, now, and Aqua’s gasp was enough to stop the call. There they stood, in front of the rocks they had jumped down, hand in hand as they stood beside one another. Their armor was on, but their helmets had either been discarded or unsummonded, so he saw their fear and hurt shining bright in their eyes, clear as day.

“I won’t have this conversation with you again.” Ven spoke, trying to remember when he had wished away Lost Memory. He couldn’t recall, not that it really mattered, he supposed.

“Not like the first time.”

All Aqua and Terra did was catch their breath, faces twisting into confusion.

He turned to his left and walked the shoreline, bringing himself closer to them. He wasn’t even sure why he was, with every bone in his body screaming to run away from them. All he’d bring them and himself was hurt. Then again, he wasn’t sure he had it in him to care anymore. 

“This year and a half has put me through more trials than I thought I could withstand, but somehow,” his left shoe made a gentle splash every time his shoe collided with the water, besides his voice, it was the only noise, and it was the only thing keeping him sane.

“ **_somehow_ ** , I have withstood every one. Now, why would that be?”

The only movement Aqua made is when she put her arm in front of Terra, barring him from moving past her. They really were handling him like some kind of rabid animal, weren’t they? He almost started laughing right then and there.

“Ventus,” she started gently, while hearing his full name only made him freeze in place, “you are stronger than the challenges that have risen against you. With your friends beside you, you have been capable of all this and so much more, and you can, you  _ will _ face this one head-on as you have all the rest; and you will be okay, as you are now. You are so much braver--”

The single, bitter laugh that erupted out of him came out before he thought to stop it.

“ **_Braver?_ ** ” 

The only memory that played itself in his head was when he spoke with Roxas, all those months ago. The pain they carried, the hurt and grief that was shoved on them by  _ stupid _ adults who listened to fate and order, who followed a  _ stupid _ concept like a harsh divide between ‘Light’ and ‘Dark’… it only tore down the acts they had, until they were reduced to what they truly were, what they’d always been: scared children.

“No, Aqua. That’s not it at all.”

Slowly, he reached out an arm, his palm up to the sky as if ready to catch something.

“Something has been broken inside of me for a long, long time. Others have been saying it’s fine, I’ve been saying it’s fine, but, Aqua, don’t you see? I had an epiphany, recently. It hasn’t been fine, it hasn’t been okay. I don’t think I have it in me to face anything head-on anymore. I don’t think I’ve been okay…”

He turned to them, then.

“for a long, long time.”

“Ven, you can’t give into this despair!” Aqua pleaded, taking a step towards him, hand reached out. “This grief will consume you, control you! It’s already started, you have to fight it! You have to move away from those waters, they’re  _ too _ dangerous!”

“You say that as if these emotions are outside forces trying to corrupt me.”

Ven clenched his fists, finding it harder and harder to look at his siblings. He can feel something building inside of him, squeezing tighter and tighter into his chest. He can feel the cold light shining on his face, gleaming from his heart.

“They’re  _ my _ emotions, they come from  _ me _ . They’ve been inside of me this whole time, I-I can’t get rid of them no matter what I do! Every decision, every word I’ve said this whole time, it’s all been mine. Every action I’ve taken, I made it myself.”

“Ven,” Terra warned, eyes pleading as he glanced from Ven’s heart back to his face.

“please, listen to me. You don’t need to get rid of them, but we need you to breathe, can you breathe with me, honey? We need to calm you down, you’re not acting rationally--”

“I’m-I’m not, am I?” Ven laughed, and the something in his chest squished itself even tighter. He put a shaking hand to his cheek and tears trickled over his fingers.

“Well, Terra… I guess that’s not what I want.” 

He bent over and reached out his left hand, Lost Memory finding its way to his right. Swirls of light, the same as the brilliant swirls shining from his chest, curled and flipped around as they collected into his palm. He remembered reading about the end of a star’s life, what would happen when its core collapsed. He wondered… did the stars hurt, in their final moments?

“I want  _ Vanitas. _ ”

The light in the Dark Margin drew into him, fast and chilling and violent.

In an incandescent burst of light, he detonated, and from his heart shot light, brilliant and blinding in a fan around him. All he could see was light as everything in him burned, and it was painful, but not in the way he had thought it would be, neither as bad. It was almost… relieving, in a sense. The weight he’d carried in his chest for the last year and a half lessened, and as he turned to his right and shot towards the duo before him like a bullet, he could barely see.

But he knew he was glowing; he could see it reflected in their eyes. 

The shine of a barrier appeared before him, and his body continued to move on its own. His legs drew up, and in a horizontal squat, a weapon he’d never seen before, familiar and wrong all at once, cut the barrier that Aqua had summoned clean in half. 

A Scythe, big, wide, and curling. Shaped like the broken wing of an angel, adorned with a shattered heart on the inside of the blade.

The name of the form he’d taken rung in his ears like church bells at the dawn of the end.

Broken Heart.

He shot himself backwards with a beam of light, a trail of sparks left in his wake. He flourished his new weapon as he hovered above the ground, glaring down with wide, bright eyes at his new opponents. Ven didn’t want to fight, but his heart told him he had no choice. He needed to. There was no other option.

He twirled his Scythe above him, and an Aeroza burst mercilessly from the ground underneath them. He could hear Terra and Aqua’s cries as Terra moved to avoid it, as Aqua moved towards him in a rush of ice and light.

Ven twisted and spun towards her in a whirlwind, and when he destroyed her barrier so effortlessly for the second time, all she could do was cartwheel away from him in a burst of flame as he attempted to strike again. The flames curled around his legs, and he let out a cry of pain as he sunk into himself, clinging to his burned leg.

“Ven!”

Aqua’s garbled voice sounded, but Ven had already picked himself up and turned his attention to Terra.

He focused onto Terra, numbers rising in his head as fast as Light herself before he finally let go. Bits of glowing pink shards rained down on his brother from the sky endlessly, until a shot of light burst through the attack, and a barrier shined around his form, protecting him from the onslaught.

As soon as Ven, furious, turned to find where Aqua was, he felt the flame of her cartwheel hit his legs again, and he let out another cry as he sank towards the ground.

“I’m sorry, Ven, I didn’t mean to--”

**_“WHY?!”_ **

Ven picked his head up and threw his Scythe to the ground, rushing her. Before she could move, he grabbed the sides of her face, and stared deep into her eyes.

“ **_WHY WON’T YOU HIT ME? WHY WON’T YOU ATTACK ME?”_ **

Tears pooled in her eyes, and her lips trembled.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” she whispered. “I can’t.”

**_“I DESERVE IT!”_ **

He screamed, steam sizzling off of Aqua as his freezing tears dropped on her in rapid succession. 

**_“I DESERVE IT, I KILLED HIM!”_ **

Terra’s arms wrapped around him from behind, and Ven let out a cry, as if Aqua’s flames had damaged him once again.

“Oh, Ven, you didn’t kill him. I don’t know where he is, but you didn’t--”

**_“I DID!”_ **

Ven let out another wail, trying in vain to wiggle free from Terra’s hold. 

**_“_ ** **_I KILLED HIM, HE’S DEAD BECAUSE OF ME! IT’S ALL MY FAULT!”_ **

Aqua put her hands on the sides of his face and brought his forehead to hers. Even in his blind emotion, he knew it hurt her, but she didn’t seem to care. It only made him burn more violently, more scared and hurt as the seconds carried on.

“It was not your fault he ran.” She whispered, voice strained. “It’s not your fault he still runs. You’re doing everything you can, Ven. We’re proud of you, we’re proud of everything you’ve done, how strong you’ve become. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

**_“I’M HURTING YOU AGAIN!”_ **

He screamed. 

**_“_ ** **_I’M_ ** **_WRONG!”_ **

“You  _ are _ hurting me,” Aqua agreed, surprising both him and Terra. “but nothing about you is wrong. Your tears hurt, your light hurts. It’s too bright, it’s too cold, but a Curaga will fix the pain on my arms and hands.” Her hands squeezed the sides of his face, and she stared right into his eyes.

“A Curaga will not heal a broken heart. A Curaga will not heal the loss and grief that tears you down every day, that you’ve convinced yourself that you must carry alone. I told you this, do you remember, Ven? I told you there are things a Curaga cannot heal.”

**_“I MISS HIM…”_ **

Ven whimpered, tears falling faster.

**_“I MISS HIM.”_ **

“We know you do, Ven.” Terra breathed, trembling arms holding Ven tighter.

“We know you miss him, and we’re sorry. We’re sorry that we made you feel like you had to carry this all on your own. It’s too heavy for a child to bear on their own, it’s not something we should have forced you into, even accidentally.

**_“I’M SORRY,”_ **

Ven’s apology was weeped, the power from earlier draining from his voice,

**_“PLEASE, I’M SO SORRY…”_ **

“Let's go home, Ven.” Aqua said.

“Together.”

Any light left in the area, including some of Terra’s and Aqua’s, sucked into Ven one last time. They gasped in pain, but instead of exploding, Ven simply fizzled out as the light he had drawn in healed him, and he lost consciousness as Terra and Aqua caught his dimming body with the utmost care and grace.

Tears cascading like waterfalls down their cheeks, they cradled him close, as if they were scared to let him go ever again.

\---

It has become a habit of his, during the many nights he spent looking for Vanitas, to keep his eyes closed when he woke up. When you were quiet, when you pretended to sleep, sometimes things that could hurt you would not hear you, and would leave without even realizing you were nearby. It was hard to shake, not to mention he didn’t really try to shake it in the first place. 

He was doing the same now: eyes closed, breathing even, listening. He was in his room, he could hear the familiar sound of the breeze wafting through his curtains, the sound of the birds that lived in the birdhouses he so carefully nailed outside his window as they sang their songs.

Ven could hear Aqua and Terra as they quietly discussed their schedule for training and teaching. Someone sat next to his feet, probably Aqua. She had always said how jealous she was that he had such a comfortable bed, which he couldn’t really understand. They had the same beds! She swore that beds were more comfy when they weren’t yours, but he didn’t believe her.

Terra had to be sitting at his desk, faint scribbling sounding as he made adjustments to the notes already written down, adding what he had to as they went along. It was so simple, so routine, and something about it made Ven’s eyes burn with tears. He covered his eyes with his elbow, memories trickling in and red hot embarrassment setting itself in his heart.

“Ven?” Terra exclaimed, and he felt the bed shift as Aqua put a gentle hand on his arm. 

Chirithy's familiar, poofed backflip chimed in his ears, and a quiet wail escaped him as his heart swelled with warmth.

He was almost home.

“I'm sorry…!” Ven whimpered, shaking his head. “That was so stupid of me, all of it. Impulsively going into the Realm of Darkness on my own, making Master Yen Sid promise not to tell anyone, doing whatever I did on the Dark Margin. P-please, I don't--”

Ven pushed himself up and looked between his family members.

“I can't talk about it right now, please just ground me.”

“HUH!?” Chirithy squeaked, hopping to his side.

“I…” Aqua looked at Terra for help. “I mean…”

“Ven, honey,” Terra cradled Ven's cheek in his hand. “we have to talk about it soon. You've been holding so much inside, and you can't keep doing that. It isn't healthy for you. Grounding you won't change any unhealthy behaviors you've adapted with over the years.”

With care and slight hesitance, Ven put his hand over Terra's. “I know. I know it won't, but… won't time help?” 

He took Aqua's hand with his left. “Ground me, forbid me from going out and looking. I'll stay here, and I'll reflect. Maybe then I'll find some clarity.”

The color drained from Aqua's face.

“F-forbid you from…”

She stood up, guilt twisting around in her expression.

“Aqua?”

Ven squeezed her hand.

“Ven, when you can, please join Terra and I in the main hall. There's…” She looked away. “We must discuss something.”

Terra had already turned away, schedule grasped firmly in his hand. Before he could argue, they both shuffled out of his room.

“Did I…do s--”

Chirithy bonked him with his paw.

"Ow!” Ven rubbed the spot. “Well, what was that for?” 

“I was so scared!” Chirithy said, holding his paws over his chest. “I thought you had disappeared completely, and if you disappear, Ven, so will I!”

“Oh, Chirithy, I'm so sorry.” His heart sank. “It wasn't-- honestly, it was a shitty idea from the very beginning.”

His Spirit sighed. “I know you're sorry, and I'm not mad at you, but you shouldn't apologize if you don't think you can stop yourself.”

“I don't wanna go back.” Ven held his head. “I don't ever wanna go back. I don't know if I have the strength to leave my _ room _ , much less go back there for any reason.”

“...Like,” Chirithy spoke, voice hushed, “how you feel... about the Graveyard?”

All Ven could do was nod solemnly.

“Well, I think we have to go to the main hall, and then we can come back,” his Dream Eater informed. “but there are a lot of people down there, and they don't look happy. I don't know what Terra and Aqua planned, or what they did, and they haven't spoken a word of it since they entered your room two hours ago. You have no reason to distrust them, but I think you should be a little cautious. It doesn't look good.”

Ven took a breath in, let it out.

He took a breath in, let it out.

“Okay. I can do this.”

He didn't bother putting his coat, straps, shorts, or fabrics on. He wasn't planning to go out, so he figured he didn't need them. But... he slipped his Vanitas bag over his shoulder, naturally finding his fingers curled around the wearing stitches of the long leather strap, as he had uncountable times before. A quick check on his collar, and he smiled when he felt the locket still on. It probably wasn't a wise choice from Aqua and Terra, but he appreciated it a great deal. He would thank them later. He could do this.

The walk to the main hall felt like an eternity, and at the same time, too fast. When he stepped into the light, a long table opened before him. Aqua and Terra spotted him first, and Aqua rose, face solemn.

"...What's going on?” Ven asked.

With a wave of Aqua's hand, a chair pulled itself out.

“A seat, Ven. Please.”

Slowly, he did as was asked of him, folding his hands over his bag. To his right, he spotted Xion, Naminé, and Roxas, and the fact that they each stared at their own hands made his stomach twist. Riku was to his front and left, sat on Aqua's right, as Terra sat on Aqua's left. Riku was the only one who seemed to be able to bring themselves to look at him, and the feeling of wrongness began to crawl up his throat.

What was Naminé doing here? She was busy with Radiant Garden, wasn't she? Weren't Xion and Roxas teaching Isa, wasn't Riku doing Master work? And--

“Where are Kairi and Sora?”

Everyone was silent. Xion let out a huff and stood, finally looking at Ventus. “Kairi removed herself from the equation. She denied Aqua's invitation, as did Sora. They are off doing something; where, I’m not sure. They shut off their phones and refused to say.”

"Ah… I see. Thank you, Xi.” Ven looked to his hands, trying to force himself not to smile. It didn't feel good to be so happy about it, especially when he wasn't sure what he was here for in the first place.

"Ventus, I--”

Aqua began, but shrunk back when Ven looked up at her as his lip trembled, and he drew his mouth into a line to stop himself.

“Ven, we don't want you to hurt anymore, and we-we don't want you to stop, but there has to be a better way to go about it. The way you are now, it's actively killing you.”

“You mean,” Ven breathed, “looking for Vanitas… is actively killing me.”

Terra stood, putting a hand over Aqua's. “Your headaches, your lack of sleep… Ven, you're like a ghost now. You're barely there, the most emotion that we've seen from you in the past few months was when we were in--”

Ven held up his hand to stop Terra from continuing. He got it.

He wouldn't lie, since he had noticed it, too. He had looked so tired, so much older, the bags under his eyes impossible to miss.

“I… am tired.”

“You--” Roxas forced out a laugh, glancing from Ven's arm to his own hands. “Y'know, you'd never-- know that you'd slept a decade, and that was all wiped away in such a-a small amount of time!”

Aqua's chair screeched behind her as she jerked up, fire burning in her eyes as she looked at Roxas.

Naminé put an arm in front of him, protective, her eyes dark.

“Roxas,” she said, keeping her gaze on Aqua as she quietly, calmly, spoke to him. “please apologize to Ven.”

Roxas finally looked at Ven, tears welled in his eyes. Ven gripped his bag so he wouldn't start doing the same.

“I'm sorry, Ven, I--”

He turned away from Ven, covering his face in shame and grief. Without a word, Xion wrapped her arms around his shoulders, putting herself in front of him. Protecting him.

Ventus felt like his heart was being crushed; Roxas had lost sleep looking for Xion, looking for his life back. He knew it all too well, he couldn't imagine how painful it must be for him. He wasn't sure how much more of this he could take, and he didn't want anyone else to take it either.

“If you want me to stop, I--”

“No, no, Ven, that’s not--” Terra shook his head. “Please, we just…” He searched Ven's face, and as he sighed, his shoulders sank. “We're not sure. We're not sure what we want, other than for you to feel happy again, to feel safe in your home. We know what needs to happen for this wish to become fully realized, but there's nothing we can do, nothing that we know of, anyways. It feels hopeless.”

“It can't be,” Riku spoke, standing up. He tried to give Ven a small smile, but it only served to make Ven feel worse. “Regardless if you stop or not, you do need to rest, Ven. You’ve been looking for almost tw--”

“Don’t.” Ven’s voice raised in pitch as he pleaded, a hand up. “Don’t say it, please. You don’t need to remind me, Riku. I know.”

He stopped. He casted his head down, his mouth drawing into a thin line.

“I guess I’ve never stopped thinking about it. I guess I've always known, even when I tried to pretend I didn't. Please.”

“I’ve just--” Riku stopped. The guilt on his face was potent.

“Riku…” Ven tried to smile, to reassure him that it was fine. He had to. “I know you’ve been through this kind of thing before, but you handled it, and so can I!”

Riku froze. When he looked at Ven, surprise and fear flashed through his eyes. Roxas stood up abruptly, making Ven turn his gaze to the trio on his right; shock covered Xion's face, Naminé looked completely repulsed, and Roxas could only manage to look desperate. He kept searching Ven's face for something, anything, but he glanced at Riku, Aqua, and Terra, and Ven saw it on his face. He couldn't say what he wanted. Not with all these people around.

“How do you know that.” Riku didn't pose it as a question, his words like ice, and Ven's heart and throat froze as the words hit him. Riku had never looked so angrily at him. He’d always been so warm, always smiling softly and acting silly; it was like the Sun had frozen over.

Naminé leant towards Ven.

“Ventus, Riku did not 'handle it'.” 

There was a knowing weight to her words, like she had seen it. Like she had been there.

“The argument you are trying to use works against you, do you understand this?”

Why had he brought it up in the first place? He'd been trying not to rely on his false memories, and he hadn't for a long time. Why had it been so easy, so natural for him to slip back into it? The memories weren't his, he hadn't been there, he didn't know the entire story. He didn't have the right to, either.

“I-I'm sorry, you’re right, I--”

Ven shook his head and finally stood.

“Please, can we just stop this? I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore. Just ground me, we don't need to drag everyone through my grief, you all have your own. If you… if you ground me, I will consider--”

Roxas shoved his chair back with his foot. Ven’s throat froze again.

“ _ Roxas? _ ” Xion asked, standing up.

“I mean no offense,  **Aqua** ,” Roxas seethed, putting a hand over his chest, “but I refuse to listen to you try to guilt and pressure Ven into stopping his search, regardless of your damn intent. Kairi was right; this is so  **fucking** disrespectful to everything Ven has gone through in the last SEVENTEEN MONTHS, and all of us here at the table? We're all cowards for trying to stop him instead of helping him.”

Ven's heart cried out at the familiarity of Rox's words, their cruel and kind bite. Ven reached out a hand. “ _ Roxas _ \--”

“What do you think Kairi and Sora are doing?” He cried, putting a hand in his hair. “ **THEY** took the initiative,  **THEY'RE** out there, looking for Vanitas like all of us  **SHOULD** be. How can any of us say we're with Ven if we don't make the effort, what right do we have to call him our friend if we just give him empty hope while being too scared to try? We all know how Ven tries to make us happy, even if it’s at a detriment to his well being.”

Roxas scoffed in complete, overwhelming disgust.

“He’s even doing it now. He’s folding before it’s started, regardless that you haven’t said the words, REGARDLESS if you want to, because he doesn’t want to see us hurt. He doesn’t want to see us stressed, especially if he’s the cause of it. Don't you realize how scared Ven is, how scared he HAS been, and he keeps going because he-- Fuck, of  **course** he had a breakdown in the Realm of Darkness, he's the only one who's been looking for his--”

Roxas stopped, and as his cheeks heated up, he scoffed and pushed himself away from the table. Ven watched as Roxas clenched his teeth together, turning away.

“Whatever, this shit just pisses me off. You all act like you've never looked for the ones you love more than  _ anything _ , when I know full well that everyone in this room has.”

He turned and walked down the nearest set of stairs without another word. Xion and Naminé barreled after him.

Ven tried to remind himself to breathe, but all he could think of was Rox's expression. After a quick glance at Aqua, Terra, and Riku, he followed in their footsteps.

Roxas sat on the steps, Naminé's arms wrapped around him, Xion's forehead against the barrier he made with his arms, whispering something to him as tears fell from her eyes.

“Roxas, I-I'm sorry--”

“VEN!” Roxas picked his head up, eyes red and puffy. “Why do you let them do that? Why don't you ask for more, why do you just take what's handed to you? You're your own person, you can make your own decisions! You can TAKE, you don’t have to just GIVE.”

Ven stopped, holding his hands to his chest. “I don't…” He closed his mouth. He didn't want to say what he felt.

“You deserve it.” Xion countered, standing up as her hands stayed on Rox's arms. “Ven, all you’ve done is give. You’re rarely selfish, but you deserve to be selfish even more. I have a feeling those not with us physically would hold the same sentiment.”

Naminé curled closer to Roxas.

“Ven?”

Roxas looked up at him, wiping a tear from his eye with the bottom of his palm.

“Promise me that you won’t stay for long. Promise me you will keep looking when your time’s up, that you’ll keep fighting. We’ll look for you, we’ll keep you updated; your ears and eyes as you’re trapped here. But you have to join us when you can. It’s not a search for Vanitas without you there with us.”

Ven took Roxas’ hands into his own, leant against Xion. After a moment of worry, he put his free hand on Naminé’s head, making her shiver as she curled tighter.

“I swear it.”

\---

The weeks passed by at a numbing pace. Everything began to blend together, even more so than it had before. His visits with Naminé stopped, not only for his ‘Land Arrest’, as Sora jokingly called it, but she was busy with Radiant Garden details, though she seemed to take care to not use the word ‘overworked’. Ventus noticed. He always did.

Overthrowing and banishing Ansem the Wise had been the easy part, and Naminé did not spare any details on the difficulty of creating an entirely new government from scratch. Xion commented that Radiant Garden was lucky to have someone like Naminé leading the effort, but Naminé merely laughed. ‘I’m just organized, and I do such a small part, anyways. The other Scientists do so much more than I ever could, y’know, they know a surprising amount about different governments!’

Ven had asked if the scrolls and books Sora and he had brought Ienzo had helped, and she nodded and thanked him. He was happy, even if it was only for a brief moment.

He missed Kairi more than anything. Even Lea and Isa came, and he was so happy, so glad, but he hadn’t seen Kairi since before he left for the Realm of Darkness. Was she mad? He couldn’t help but wonder, but he couldn’t bring himself to ask, either, not even to Riku or Sora. Maybe some things were better left unsaid. Still, he couldn't help but gaze outside the window as the sky turned the color of her hair, sliding into the same purple of her eyes. Did she miss him, too?

All that left him was training and wandering the Land, and he grew to be annoyed by both. Breakfast when he wakes, and immediately into training. He tended to be training for hours before Aqua woke up, looking at him sadly. He would always excuse himself for a walk around the halls, then. Once his walk was done, training continued until he couldn’t stand his friends’ looks of pity, and he would go to the one place he could find any peace nowadays.

It was the Key that had been in a spare room, one that Master Eraqus had told them to never enter. Terra and Aqua wouldn’t tell Ven what was in it, only that he could not enter, and he could never ask Master Eraqus about it.

When Terra and Aqua had brought out the teal, black, and silver Key with a goat at the top, a clock under it, he had understood: it had been Master Xehanort’s Key. Terra informed Aqua and Ven that Eraqus’ last wish was to have their grave, _their_ grave, be marked by this Key. There was no point in the Key collecting dust anymore, and he hoped that it would make his dear friend happy, wherever he was looking down from.

‘And the name?’ Aqua had asked. ‘Did he write it down?’

Terra shook his head. ‘No name.’

Ven ignored the lingering feeling in his chest.

At first, it had just been his Key, some familiar-looking charms that had been alongside the Key, and their Wayfinders. Now, years later, the area was covered in flowers of all colors and sizes; an absolute rainbow of flowers that Terra had cultivated with his own two hands. Aqua had cast a spell of protection around the area so that the flowers would never wilt, the charms and Wayfinders never be damaged by the weather. And even as the wildlife ran in and out of the bubble, Ven found himself staying, watching the petals drift around the area. Their Wayfinders were tied to the top with their small leather binds, and they clinked oh-so-gently against the keychain: a small hourglass. Together, they sounded like wind chimes.

It was so quiet.

Xion followed him when he walked out of training one day. She placed herself quietly on his left and mirrored his pose of knees pulled against his chest, before switching to folding her legs and setting her hands in her lap.

“Do you want to talk?”

He considered it. He really, truly did.

“I don’t know if I can say it. I can’t even say it out loud when I’m alone, I--”

She stood on her knees and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, putting her cheek atop his head. “One day,” Xion said, “you will be able to tell someone, Ventus. I don’t know if it will be me, but in the end, it doesn’t matter who it is. I can only pray that your heart allows it soon, for your sake.”

She left him with a kiss on the head and the chiming of the Wayfinders and keychain.

He would visit twice a day, the second time after dinner. Sometimes he’d fall asleep there, but he’d always wake up in his bed, blanket carefully draped across his legs. Aqua and Terra barely talked to him anymore, and it made his heart ache. Had he really pushed them away without realizing it? They still took care of him, how else would he make it all the way to his room? Ven didn’t bother stopping tears that came, not anymore.

It took two weeks for something miraculous to happen. Ven was crying again as he sat in front of the grave, silent as he tended to be now, sans the sniffles and hiccups. It was almost routine, to come here to the comfort of the flowers and charms of their resting place and release his emotions without the fear of making people feel bad. It was better than keeping them bottled up, anyways. They felt too big to put on others, even though he knew everyone would tell him that was wrong. Maybe the solitude was getting to him.

Ven let out a wheeze of a sigh and watched the petals drift to his right. Sometimes, he felt like they were listening, and it brought him such a weird sense of comfort. He wondered what they would say about it, all of it. Would they be proud of everything that they had accomplished? Would they be disappointed in how much he had slipped? Maybe he was just being hopeful, maybe it was those rose-colored eyes again, the ones could never get rid of, but… He couldn’t imagine them being disappointed. Maybe they’d even comfort him.

“Why do you cry at our grave, boy? There are those still alive who must see how you weep for them, who are far more deserving of these tears.”

Ven’s head snapped up as the tears halted, and there was Master Xehanort: physically a little younger than him, sitting beside Ventus’ left with his knees pulled against his chest. Even as aglow with light as he is, Ven could see the deep concern on his brow. He almost didn’t believe it, he couldn’t, not until--

“M… Xeh--” 

He couldn’t get the words out, hot tears bubbling out of his eyes. He reached out a shaking hand towards his arm, as if testing if Xehanort was truly there. When his hand connected, a comforting warmth flushing over his hand, Xehanort smiles affectionately.

“What, are you that speechless? If Eraqus could do such a trick, surely I could.”

He let out a childish huff, smirk on his face.

“I'm not fond of cheating like Eraqus is, but since this is a special occasion--”

Interrupting Xehanort’s teasing, Ven launched himself into Xehanort's arms, held onto him tightly, shook so badly. Maybe it wasn’t wise, after everything, but Ven didn’t care. He could tell Master Xehanort cared, even if it didn’t make any sense. Why else would he show up here, and now? He had seen him crying, and he had come to try and comfort Ven.

Xehanort wrapped his arms around Ven, holding his head gently and tightly all at once.

“I could not let you sit here by yourself.” His voice became raspy, age settling in his vocal chords. “It was not right.”

When Ven pulled away, Xehanort looked the way Ven remembered him. Old, wrinkled… tired. Tired like he was, now.

“What made you…?”

Xehanort sighed. “I know… what you are struggling through. Grief is a concept that is almost too familiar to me. For most of my life, it was what defined me.”

Ven pulled his knees to his chest again, missing the melancholic way his older teacher gazed at him. He nodded, let out a breath. “There’s… It feels like there’s so much in my chest, and it wants to be let out, but I don’t know how. I don’t know who I can tell, I feel guilty every time I try.”

The older Wielder was silent for a long moment, gazing fondly at the Key before them, watching the light catch on the charms and Wayfinders.

“He kept it…” Master Xehanort placed a gentle hand on the gears of the Keyblade, glanced up to the Wayfinders again. “And… she made them…”

“...Master?” Ven tilted his head.

“I…” Xehanort closed his eyes, his fingers slipping off of the Key. “I taught Aqua how to make the Wayfinders when she was quite young. It was before…” A sigh escaped him, letting out years of painful memories. “We can think on it later. There is one who is more important than wistful, wishful thinking.”

He turned to Ven, and held out his hands, palms up. Asking for permission.

Ven set his hands in Master Xehanort’s without hesitation.

“Ventus, I am well aware that I have not been a good father figure,” Xehanort wheezed, the bags under his eyes heavy, the wrinkles on his face deep.

“Nothing I can do now will make up for the years you have suffered as a direct result of my inexcusable actions, but…”

He looked so sadly at his son.

“I wish to listen to you, if you’ll allow it. You do not need to hold back what troubles you. You owe me nothing, boy. You’ve never owed me a thing.”

As soon as Ven’s hands began to shake, Xehanort held them tighter, with greater care. Ven’s tears cascaded down his cheeks like shooting stars as soon as he did.

“I didn’t get to say goodbye. I didn’t get to tell him I loved him, I don’t even remember what the reason was. I should have told him, even once, I--” Ven shook his head, leaning over his lap. “I didn’t get to say it. Vanitas never heard me say that I love him.”

Xehanort ran his thumbs over Ven’s knuckles, and Ven glanced up.

“Ventus, something I have learned over my many, many years of life is that we can whisper however quietly we want, perhaps we won’t say a word- but our actions scream out, begging to be realized. Even if you did not say the words, the way you treated him…”

He smiled, gentle.

“That’s not something you can so easily ignore. The beings around you will take heed of how you treat them. Kindness matters to the right people, of course, but it can matter to people you’d never thought it would, as well. Ventus, your strength comes from how kind you are. If you reach out your hand to those who need it, I’d think that would make you the strongest one of us all.”

After a moment of contemplative quiet, Xehanort put a hand on Ven’s head, ruffling his hair. “If Eraqus, as charmingly foolish as he is, can extend his hand towards me, even after I had been spun and dipped into betraying him…” He ruffled Ven’s hair again.

“I… am not sure where I was going with that. My body does not want to keep up with my mind nowadays, it is quite troublesome.”

“How is he?” Ven asked, impulsively. “Master Eraqus?”

Xehanort seemed taken aback, and Ven could’ve sworn that the wrinkles on his face lessened, just a touch.

“He is doing well.”

Then, he rolled his eyes. “I did try to get him to come down, but he simply refused. If I can show myself in front of you, surely he could do the same. We were equally terrible to you, you know. The least he could do is stand by my side, now that I am expecting him there.”

A giggled erupted from Ven’s heart, and he put his hands on his cheeks.

“That’s so cute! Oh, you’re not keeping him, are you? I don’t want to hog you too long--”

“Ventus,” Xehanort smiled again, “we have the rest of eternity. But, I do suppose Eraqus will begin to complain if I am gone too long.”

He rose, and after a moment of consideration, he held a hand out to Ven to help him stand.

“You can come visit!” Ven said, squeezing Xehanort’s hand as he bounced from foot to foot. “Anytime, especially here! Bring Master Eraqus, if you’d like!”

“I think I can only visit you here, young one.” He let out a strained laugh. “I am worried about what Terra and Aqua might do when they see me. They were calm enough, but… I cannot fully believe they will be as…” He chose his next word carefully. “... _ accepting _ , as you have.”

Ven blew a raspberry. “Aw, what? Aqua and Terra? They’re just silly.”

“To you, Ventus, perhaps.” Xehanort glanced one last time at the flowers around him. “...Terra grew these, did he not?”

He nodded. “Yes, Master Xehanort.”

Xehanort leant over, gently putting his hand under a large pink flower to bring it closer to his nose. He took a deep breath in.

“He has always had such an affinity for life, for the earth we are so lucky to stand on. He’s been drawn to things that need nurturing for as long as I can recall.” He glanced down to Ven. “It makes sense, why he took such a strong liking to you, as full of life as you are.”

“Ah, w-well…” Ven cast his eyes to the ground, cheeks heating up as he winked. The only thing he could do was let out a light-hearted giggle.

“Be safe, Ventus. You have a lot of people who care for you. And, I…”

Something seemed to be on the tip of Xehanort’s tongue, but he sighed.

“Nevermind, Ventus. I will be seeing you, then.”

Master Xehanort turned, too quick. On impulse, Ven grabbed his sleeve, holding it tight in his fist as the breath he’d taken in swirled desperately in his lungs.

He didn’t want Xehanort to leave. Not yet. He had so much he wanted to say, he…

“Master Xehanort, I… I just… I hope I’m not overstepping, but I wanted you to know that I forgive you.”

Ven looked deep into Xehanort’s gray eyes.

“I know it’s a complicated, messy situation that brought you and the people you love a lot of pain, but I-I don’t think you’re evil or bad. If this was the person who was trapped under the grief and the pain, I just… I can’t believe it. I can’t believe that you were evil. I don’t really know or understand what it was, but--”

A hand found its way to Ven’s head, and Ven could see shimmering drops of tears as they reflected off the light coming from Xehanort, and Ven could almost,  _ almost _ swear that Xehanort looked young again, like he had when he first arrived.

“It’s alright, Ventus. I’m grateful.”

The pressure on his head evaporated, and Ven watched the flecks of light drift to the sky.

\---

“VEN!”

Sora’s knee slammed into his stomach as soon as he realized he was, in fact, conscious.

“FU--” His brother’s excited grin stopped him in his tracks, and when he looked to Kairi, his heart nearly evaporated on the spot.

“Kairi? Kairi!” She expertly leant down and welcomed his embrace, patting his head as he began to weep into her collar, wrapping his arms around her head. “Kairi… Kairi…!”

“Oh my God,” Sora whispered, loudly, “Ven almost said the fuck word.”

Kairi slipped away from him, but held onto his hand.

“Yesterday was your last day of Land arrest!”

She jumped up and plopped down next to his legs, making Sora topple sideways, almost hitting his head on the window if not for Ven’s quick hand to the side of his brother’s head. “You’re free today, so we wanted to celebrate by taking you to meet our friend! Also, this was Sora’s idea.”

Sora crossed his arms over his chest. “You say that like it’s a bad idea.”

“I mean… Well, I wouldn’t say that.” Kairi’s voice was joking, but her expression seemed concerned. Ven squeezed her hands, still being unable to look away from her. He didn’t want to, worried that she might disappear if he did.

Her eyebrows rose in surprise, but he didn’t understand why. After a moment’s hesitation, her expression melted, and she shook her head.

“ _ Ven _ …” She murmured, sweetly. “You’re so silly and affectionate.”

He scoffed, and opened his mouth to retort on how she _ always _ had to go and deflect their emotional moments when someone else was in the room, as if she didn’t want to show her true feelings in front of an audience or something silly like that; it was just Sora, if anything, he was the best person to have moments in front of.

But Sora’s open palm pushed Ven’s head back down onto his pillow as he turned to Kairi. Thankfully, Kairi did not let go of Ven’s hand.

“Kairi, it’s a great idea and I’m the smartest person alive. Listen, if Anna can help me, then she can help Ven, right?”

Ven wiggled his face around violently until Sora pulled his hand away, surprised.

“Who is Anna?” He asked, pouting at Sora.

“Ugh, c’mon, we’re wasting time!” Kairi leaped off and let go of Ven’s hands. The sudden shift in weight almost made Sora fall off the bed, but Ven grabbed his arm and spun him, using the movement to swing Sora into the bed and himself out. He brushed off his shirt with his free hand, still holding onto Sora’s as his brother processed what had happened. 

Kairi  _ ‘ooo’ _ ed and clapped before crossing her hands over her heart.

“Now isn’t that just  delicious .”

He did a deep curtsey and ate up her attention like he was starving for it.

“How can you just do things like that without thinking about it?” Sora asked, bouncing up and grabbing Ven’s other hand, pulling him out of the curtsey.

“Also give me your phone. We are taking selfies now.”

“I--” His cheeks heated slightly, and he let out a giggle.

“I mean, I just did it!” Ven brushed a stray hair from Sora’s eyes.

“I didn’t want you to get hurt, Sora. Also, my phone's on the desk.”

Kairi’s groan sounded from the hall.

“Will you two stop being mushy and get out here! I wanna leave before the sun finishes rising!” She stuck her head back around the edge of his doorway.

“Or are we gonna have to go through the window?”

“Wait,” Ven grinned, “that sounds way better, Kairi, we-- Wait!” Ven ran after her as she took off down the hall, Sora trailing close behind as he ran backwards, trying to take selfies when Kairi and Ven looked back at him. As soon as they boarded, Sora tossed Ven's phone back to him before taking the wheel.

The Gummi Ship was comfortable as always, and Ven tapped away on his phone as they travelled to Arendelle.

**VEN:** Hi! I’m going out with Kairi

He snuck a glance at her, sitting with her legs over the armrest, her right over her left as her foot wiggled to a tune in her head. When she noticed Ven staring and smirked very pointedly at him, his cheeks flushed, and he rapidly hit the backspace with his pointer finger.

**VEN:** Hi, guys! I’m heading to Arendelle with Sora and Kairi. We’re visiting a friend of theirs, and I’ll make sure to update you when I’ll be home! I figure it’s okay if I skip training today, but I’ll make up anything I need to if it isn’t. Love you! <3<3<3

When he hit send, he smiled.

“Soooo…” Kairi purred, much like a cat, now resting her elbows on the armrest and holding her jaw up with her hands. Her cheeks were cutely squished up. “You updatin’ A-‘n’-T? I always forget to tell them whenever we take you somewhere, but I should probably put more attention into it. I don’t wanna get you in trouble, y’know?”

He grinned. “I know, and I appreciate it! But they’re not my parents, and I can do what I want. They didn’t even wanna ground me, I had to ask them to.”

She frowned and bit her lip, glancing to the back of Sora’s chair.

“I know… Roxas told me you did.”

“He did?” Ven pulled his feet up on the chair, wrapping his arms around his legs.

“So, um… did he tell you anything else?”

“Yeah, he told me that you just flopped around the whole time I looked for Vanitas.”

In a smooth motion, she pulled out Destiny’s Embrace. Aglow with a bright light, a cute, cartoon-y star shot out of the top and bonked him softly in the cheek, almost like a kiss. It made him snicker as he rubbed the spot.

“What, can’t you do things without me? It’s very cute of you, but I must insist you find ways to entertain yourself when I am not there. Gosh, Ventus, you are  _ sooo _ clingy!”

“I  _ do _ entertain myself, thank you!!” He pulled out Lost Memory, and with a swirl of green, a burst of soft air tickled her lashes. Destiny’s Embrace fluttered away in light and feathers as Kairi brought up her hands, trying to shield herself from the wind. “Maybe you should just admit that you missed me when I was under Land Arrest.”

“Will you two put your Keys away when you’re inside the Ship?” Sora shouted, leaning over the back of his chair and glaring at him. “Donald and Goofy will get mad if I get any scratches on it!”

Kairi snickered evilly, pulling out her Key and summoning a teeny star to bonk him on the top of his head. He groaned and whipped out a beautiful Key adorned in lights, a little rat near the top.

“I have fruit!” Sora threatened, pouting. “I am not afraid to use it!”

“Uh…” Kairi rolled her eyes and pointed to Ven. “So do I? What’s your point.”

Ven  _ scoffed _ so loud his throat hurt, and got into a squat in his chair so he could launch himself towards her. Sora bent below the seat and the Gummi Ship pulled back hard, making Ven slide against the back, then fall onto the floor gracelessly when he landed on the ground.

“We’re  _ hereee~ _ !” Sora giggled, walking around his chair to smile down at Ven.

“You two are so mean to me.” Ven grumbled, muffled against the floor.

“I get no respect in this Ship.”

“Aw, but we love you!” Kairi picked him up around the middle and hoisted him up, giving his head a little pat before she slipped out of the Gummi Ship.

“You guys are so entertaining to watch,” Sora held out a hand to Ven, helping him stand. “it’s really funny! I wish you could see it, I think you’d find it hilarious.”

“Surely.”

He brushed his jacket off.

Sora dutifully led the way, moving through the streets of Arendelle as if he had done it hundreds of times. Kairi was much the same, even stopping to greet a nice-looking man in a green uniform who had a smile that made his heart feel warm.

“That was Mattias.” Kairi nodded her head over to him as he took the arm of a woman who he smiled at, eyes filled with so much wonder that Ven could have sworn he was looking at the starry night sky.

“...Ven?”

He  _ squeaked _ and took a startled step away from her, putting a hand on his cheek to try and hide his embarrassment from being caught staring.

“Sorry, they just…” Ven glanced back at them. “The love between them, it’s...”

‘Powerful’ felt like too weak a word.

“Their hearts just  _ glow _ , don’t they?” She wrapped an arm around Ven’s.

“With how the time here works… Spring and all, it makes this kind of thing swell, don’t you think? Just… try not to stare at them, okay?”

Ven managed a slow nod, watching the freckles on her cheeks move as she grinned.

“Yeah…”

“HEY!” Sora waved his arm to get their attention. “THIS WAY!”

Kairi giggled and took Ven’s hand in her own, tugging him towards Sora.

“Come on, follow me!”

“Always.”

The courtyard she led him to was beautiful. The stone tiles were snug against one another in a tight circle, differing shades of grey on every one. At the end of the courtyard was a cream gazebo, twisting green vines and small yellow flowers curled around it’s columns, and a woman sat inside. When the woman spotted Sora, she grinned and scrambled to stand, running towards him and taking his hands in her own. They spun around a few times, then she wrapped her arms around his head and wiggled around while letting out an erratic, joyful giggle.

Ven put his hands, right over left, above his heart. He already understood this woman better than he understood most people, and they hadn’t even talked yet.

“And who is this?” The woman motioned towards Ven, and something about her seemed… bright, and pulled him towards her like a magnet. He couldn’t place it, though.

“This is Ven!” Sora walked over to Ven, and when he stopped, he stretched his arms out to Ven’s general direction, fingers splayed out as he did a happy little shake about.

Ven giggled. “Well, what was that?” He glanced between Sora’s hands and face, unable to stop his grin from growing. “What are you even doing right now? What is this.”

“Well, VEN!” Sora put his hands on his hips. “This is ANNA!”

Anna clapped her hands in excitement. “Oh,  _ this _ is Ven? I’ve heard so much--” She bounced cutely in place. “It is wonderful to meet you!”

Kairi coughed into her hand, side-eyeing Ven.

“ _ Queen _ Anna,” she motioned around them, “of Arendelle.”

Ven gasped, taking a step away from Kairi in surprise. 

“ **_QUEEN?!_ ** Oh, where are my manners?”

He took a knee in front of her, putting a hand delicately over his heart.

“Your Majesty, it’s an honor to meet you. I’ve passed through your fair Kingdom many times on my travels, but I had never imagined I’d be graced with the opportunity to meet it’s Queen. My humblest apologies for not realizing sooner.”

“Ah! Um, well!” The Queen let out a little laugh, looking to Kairi for help. “There’s no need, Ven. Sora’s only called me a Queen jokingly, you know.”

Sora looked lightly insulted. “I meant it once or twice!”

“Please, rise, Ven.”

Ven did as he was told. Anna held out her hand for a handshake, looking at him expectantly. A casual greeting was more than fine by him! He reached for her, but Kairi’s hands were around his wrists, and she tugged him away from Anna with the speed of light.

“K-Kairi?”

Ven searched her eyes, but all he found was panic, a sense of urgency. 

Kairi stared at Ven’s hands for a quick moment, and then her panic and urgency were replaced with a joking, quirked brow as she grinned. She slipped her hands easily into his and swung them gently.

“Sorry, Anna, I just got a little jealous. I’m sure you can understand, seeing as how cute you are.”

Ven’s face was hot in an instant. “ **_Jealous?_ ** ” He squeaked.

“Oh, are you betrothed?” Anna asked, quite honestly. “I did not mean any offense. I swear, I’m taken, and I mean no harm.” She pointed to the ring on her left hand. “See?”

Sora felt Ven’s cheeks with his hands. “Ven, are you okay? Your face got so red so fast.”

Ven couldn’t hear Sora with how loud the pounding of his heart was in his ears. 

“B-betrothed…” He murmured, breathlessly.

In Ven’s scramble of thoughts, he missed what happened across from him. Kairi tried to keep her gaze even with Anna. But she kept stealing glances at Ven’s expression, his flushed cheeks and tips of his ears. Something shifted in her own expression, eyebrows lifting just so as a light blush dusted her cheeks.

“I, um…”

She laughed, waving the mood away from them with her hand.

“Well, that’s neither here nor there, and it’s fine anyways! Don’t hold hands or anything, but I don’t mind if you simply sit next to one another. Come, let’s sit!”

Kairi led Anna to a bench, sitting next to her as they began to chat about kingdom business and politics.

Sora squished Ven’s cheeks over and over again very fast.

“Hey, Earth to Ven! Come back down from space, please! You have to talk to Anna still, I think it would help a lot.”

Gently, Ven put his hands over Sora's, stopping his squishing. “Y...Yeah.”

He rolled his eyes. “Are you  **_still_ ** not here? Geez, c’mon, it’s  _ just _ Kairi!”

Ven huffed. “You make it sound like that makes the situation easier.”

“Uh…” Sora raised an eyebrow. “... _ yeah? _ ”

Ven let out a long, drawn out groan that ended swiftly with a high-pitched, “WHATEVER!” promptly storming over to the girls, where he sat peacefully next to Anna.

After pursing her lips for a moment, Anna pulled her long orange hair over her shoulders and began to twirl it around her fingers. “Kairi has told me that you have been looking for someone dear to you, one who has been lost.”

His previous mood died.

He glanced to Kairi. She nodded.

Ven swallowed.

“Yes. My brother.”

The whites of Anna's eyes widened. “Ah, so it's…” she looked to their right, and after a quick assessment, Ven gathered that she was looking North. “like that, is it?”

Ven titled his head. “Anna?”

“Have you seen him?” She asked, still looking North. “How long has it been?”

“I…” He put a hand over his heart and looked away. “Almost two years.”

“Oh...  _ oh _ …” Anna finally looked down at him, tears springing into her eyes. “Oh, Ven… I'm so  _ sorry _ .”

Ven shook his head, forcing himself to smile. “Um, it's okay. Why do you ask, though?”

Slowly, she breathed in. “My sister, her name is Elsa. I chased after her, too. We had just reunited, at least, it felt like we had. We got caught up in this adventure, and at one point… I lost her.” She looked at Ven's collarbone一 his locketー then up to his face. “She pushed me away.”

“Ah, that--” Ven pulled his knees together, nodded in terrible understanding. “yeah.”

“Ven,” Anna spoke, voice dripping with sympathy, “you are not required to answer if it hurts too much, and if I am overstepping, I am sorry, but do you ever wonder if, perhaps…”

“If Vanitas is dead?” Ven asked, voice shaking on the last word. “Sometimes I think he might be. No one can find him, there's been no hints of anything. I have nothing to go on.”

“You know… Olaf, he's a little walking, talking snowman. He's with Kristoff and Sven in the North Mountain, but Elsa made him,  _ we _ made him, when we were little.” She smiled, put her hands on her chest as her heart reflected the warmth of the memory. “He's my best friend, and his constant companionship was a steadfast reminder that Elsa and I would always brave any challenge, no matter how difficult. She put a permafrost spell on him, so he could always be with us.”

Anna frowned. “But when Elsa pushed me away, she pushed Olaf away, too. Olaf and I got stuck in a dark cave, and then…” 

Her breath caught in her throat.

“Olaf began to melt, which meant that Elsa had died. And I wasn't there to protect her, like I had swore to her I would be.”

Ven covered his mouth in shock, trying and failing to hold back tears.

“Olaf melted in my arms, and then… I was alone again, for the first time since…” She glanced to Ven, then looked down. “A-anyways, I did not think I could ever get up again. I wasn't sure how I could find the strength to move on, it felt like the light in my heart had fizzled out.”

“How did you find the strength?” Ven asked, an edge of desperation in his voice that made Sora put a hand on his leg. “How did you go on?”

Anna was quiet for a long, thoughtful moment.

“ _ You are lost, hope is gone. _ ”

As she sang, her voice intensely vulnerable, her hands grasped the fabric over her heart. She squinted her eyes, determination gleaming in them.

“ _ But you must… _ ”

She glanced to Ven.

“ _ go on. And do the next right thing. _ ”

“...The next right thing…” 

Ven murmured, drawing in a quiet breath.

“ _Can there be a day beyond this night? I don't know anymore what is true. I can't find my direction,_ ” Anna leant over her lap, her hair spilling over her shoulders and covering the expression on her face, “ _I'm all alone…_ _The only star that guided me was you._ ”

Ven clenched his trembling fists, and tears fell on his fingers as the Queen held her note.

Anna stood up, her skirt fabric billowing around her legs. “ _ How to rise from the floor, when it's not you I'm rising for? Just do the next right thing. Take a step, _ ”

She took a step,

“ _ Step again. _ ”

and another,

“ _ It is all that I can, to do the next… right… thing. _ ”

She took her spot next to Ven, contemplative for a few moments.

“It's a conscious choice you must make.” She began, voice strained. “And the next right thing, it's not always big, like a leap. Sometimes, it is a mere breath, because that is all you can do.”

Anna turned to face him, smiled as her gaze rested on him.

“And, Ven, if all you can do is take that one breath, then that is more than enough. That was your ‘next right thing.’”

Sora stood up abruptly, taking Ven's hands into his own and giving them a gentle tug.

“We should probably head out now, Anna, but thank you for meeting us on such short notice!”

Ven turned to Anna, took his hands back from Sora to put them over his own heart. “I will never find the words that would show how much your advice has helped me, Anna. It was a pleasure to meet you, and when I pass through Arendelle again, I will visit the castle and talk more with you.”

“Please,” Anna smiled, “the pleasure was all mine. I don't meet many people who have, um…” she let out a quiet giggle. “Similar… issues?”

He only had time to nod before Sora grabbed his hands again, tugging him away. Kairi got up and trailed after them, and for a few seconds, Anna watched them leave, motionless.

Anna shot up, reached out her hand, and called out to him.

“Ven?” 

Ven stopped, turned.

“Elsa was not gone forever.” She said. “She came back to me.” Her gaze fluttered to the ground, as if struggling to find the right thing to say. Then, she looked back up to Ven. 

“I… Vanitas, was it?” When Ven nodded, she smiled. “I believe, with my whole heart, that he is alive. If Elsa can live, if she can defy Death itself… I think your brother can, as well. Even if it seems impossible, do not give up hope.”

Ven didn't bother to stop himself from crying as he grinned, feeling like he had hope, real hope, for the first time in a long, long time. 

“Thank you, Anna. I won't.”

As they walked back to the Gummi Ship, Sora's hold on his hand was like iron. He gave his brother's hand a concerned squeeze, and Sora blinked in surprise.

“Uh…”

“Are you okay?”

“Ven, you… you're like Kairi. Did you know that?”

Ven put his hand in his cheek, smiling as he looked to the tree on a distant hill. “Haha, you think so?”

Sora tugged a few times on Ven's arm, forcing him to look back. His face was wrought with anxiety; he'd go as far to call it fear.

“Please, Ven. Be careful, won't you?”

\---

Ven couldn't stop from looking at the mountains out of the window, as the late fall turned their greens to reds. He'd been this way since Naminé had left, and he couldn't help it. He missed him again.

“You wanna stop for today?”

Roxas grabbed Ven's jaw gently, tilting it with gentle precision. Ven didn't even notice.

Roxas sighed, but it wasn't out of malice.

“Come on, guys, pack it up.”

Xion landed a heavy blow to Sora that made him yelp as he landed back ten feet. She put a hand on her hip and glanced at the duo. “Not with it anymore, is he?”

Roxas shook his head.

“Sora?” Xion called. “Come on, let's help Ven to his room.”

Sora was quick to run over, squatting in front of Ven quietly. As soon as the trio stood in front of Ven, he finally blinked, and looked between them.

“Ah- Oh! I'm sorry, did-did I space out again?” He stood up, and Xion rested her hand on the small of his back before he could topple over. “Are we- thank you, Xion- going to keep training?”

“We're gonna take you to your room so you can sleep, big guy.” Roxas gave his cheek a pat. “You should get some rest, since you're gonna look with Kairi and Xion tomorrow.”

Ven  _ cooed _ like a bird. “Aw, Xion, you're joining us? And you're certain you have enough time?”

She grinned, raised an eyebrow. “I told Lea he has training duty with Isa tomorrow. What is he gonna do, refuse me? It's not like he can resist spending time with Isa. They're like, in love, or whatever.”

Roxas snickered rudely.

Sora offered his shoulder to Ven. “Come on, Ven! Let's go! You can lean on us!”

“Well…” Ven took his hand instead. “I don't need to, physically. You know what, I'll only go to sleep if we hold hands the whole way there, actually.”

Roxas took Xion's and Ven's hands at the same time, then raised them as high as he could, making Xion  _ snort _ with laughter.

“Don't gotta tell me twice! Let's go,  _ woohoo _ !”

Sora and Ven let out excited  _ 'woohoo' _ s, while Xion let out a  _ 'yeehaw' _ that made Roxas burst into giggles.

When they finally arrived, Ven flopped into bed without hesitation. He was way tireder… tireder...er… than he had thought he was. He began to drift as soon as his face hit his pillow, already too deep into the Realm of Sleep to feel Rox's gentle brush of bang away from his eyes.

\---

“I’m really sorry.” Chirithy’s despondent voice made him realize that he was awake, that he had been for a while. “I did my best to give you a good dream last night, but the most I could do was stave off the nightmares.”   
  


Ven forced his eyes open. No point in sleeping anymore, was there?

“It’s okay, Chirithy.” He sighed, letting the buildup in his chest release. 

“You did what you could, and I’m thankful.”

He pushed himself into a sitting position, covered his mouth as he yawned. It had to be past noon, with the way the light hit the room. He couldn’t believe he slept so late, he couldn’t allow himself to get sloppy now. Master Xehanort's caring words, Anna's advice, Roxas and Xion’s heartfelt sentiments- they refused to leave his chest- and in return, he refused to let time wane on the hope he still held in his heart. 

Chirithy hopped onto the bed and plopped himself in Ven’s lap. As if it was the most natural thing in the Worlds, Ven wrapped his arms around his Spirit.

“Ven, I know you don’t need to hear this from me of all people, but…” Chirithy frowned. “The amount of darkness in your heart is-- It’s dimming your light, Ven.”

Ven cocked his head. That was definitely a new one, though, he guess he hadn't been to see Naminé for a scan in a while. Something like that could've easily slipped under the radar, so to speak. Chirithy let out a breath, then continued.

“Your sadness, hate, and anxiety is overwhelming you. Normally this amount of darkness would be normal for most people, but your light is so bright, and...” Chirithy made a dejected noise, reminding Ven of a deflating balloon. 

“I’m worried about you, Ven. I think we should go see Naminé, see if she can do something.”

Ven hummed. He glanced out at the window, tried to find the motivation to go out and see Naminé. She was still so overwhelmed with the castle, and the fact that he knew she would take on more work if it was  _ him _ didn't make him feel better. Actually, it only made him want to not ask her that much more. 

“Maybe…”

“Ven…” Chirithy frowned. “I’m serious! We’re connected, remember?” He put a paw on Ven’s chest, right over his heart. “I can't read your thoughts, but the emotions swirling in your chest are trying to drag you to the cold earth. If there's a chance Naminé can do something, don't you think we should see?”

He wrapped his arms around Chirithy, pushing all the air out of his lungs and into Chirithy’s fur. “...Okay.” He murmured.

It's not like he'd ever avoid seeing Naminé. He loved her with his whole heart; she had been a sturdy rock for him to stand on since Vanitas’ disappearance, and not once had she faltered, or questioned him. It meant a lot to him. Truthfully, he didn’t know where he’d be without his best friend. Sure, her digging around in his heart had brought them together, but that was just the foundation of their bond. They had cultivated beautiful, sprawling landscapes from what had just been tiny seeds.

“Wait, Ven.” Chirithy pushed himself up and jumped over to his desk, knocking him out of his daydreaming. His Spirit grabbed a folded sheet of paper and picked it up, turning to Ven. 

Ven didn’t recognize it.

“Uh… was that there earlier?” He asked, pointing to the paper.

Chirithy shook his head.

He hesitated, but opened his hand. “I’ll look at it, then.”

Who had put it there? If he had, Chirithy would surely remember. Had Aqua or Terra done it? They would’ve said hi to him if they had come in, he knew they would’ve. What had happened last night? Uh… Roxas, Sora, and Xion had brought him to his bed, right? But it hadn't looked like they had paper with them.

Taking the paper from Chirithy, he unfolded it. Another paper separated itself from the first’s back, but Ven ignored it. To look at the second before the first would be, well, rude! He gave the first page a once-over.

Simple, penciled lettering on clean white paper, and a bright yellow star sticker on the bottom, in what he assumed was a signature. He poked the sticker, and the puffed surface gave a bit of way, making him giggle and do it a few more times. He glanced excitedly at his Dream Eater, who looked awfully nervous, which stopped Ven's excitement in it's tracks.

Right.

Letter.

Might as well read it out loud, since there was no point in keeping Chirithy on the edge of his seat.

He cleared his throat.

“...Dearest Ven,” Ven began.

“That’s a little friendly for somebody we don’t know,” Chirithy interjected. Ven shot him a pouty glare, and he went quiet again.

“...Dearest Ven,” Ven repeated, “I hope this letter finds you in the best health you can manage, considering the awful things you have faced throughout these long, tiresome months. I’ve attached another letter to the back of this one, in hopes that I am doing the right thing. Follow your heart, okay? It will know exactly what you have to do when the time comes, all you must do is believe, believe with everything you are. I have the utmost faith in you, as I always have, and always will. With unending love, ⭐”

He paused. 

“...P.S., I should be handing this to you in person, but I was too much of a coward, and I’m sorry. I hope that one day, I can make it up to you.”

“Well that’s, um…” Chirithy put a paw on his muzzle, deep in thought. “I... don’t know? I guess they’re shy? Maybe read the next letter, and we’ll find some clues.”

Ven nodded wordlessly, eyeing the sticker. The star seemed familiar, but he wasn't sure. He slipped the first paper onto the desk, held the second in front of him. This paper was different; slightly crinkled, as if it had been balled up once or twice- though, perhaps that assessment was too generous- and thrown away. The slightly cursive words on both the front and back were written with a combination of red and black pen, as if the pens had kept dying and the person who wrote it had to keep switching. That, or... Did they just keep to a pattern, a certain aesthetic? He smiled at the thought. What an adorably silly thing to do. In a weird way, he found it comforting.

“Read it, read it!” Chirithy wiggled, flapping his arms in anticipation.

“Ventus--” He stopped.  _ Ventus _ ? “...I-it’s been a while, hasn’t it? I figured writing a letter to you would be the best thing to do, in a situation such as ours, but... Wherever could I begin? There’s so many things that have gone unspoken between the two of us, and that’s  _ before _ I stormed into the…” The gears in Ven’s mind started to turn. “...void… to… have my… funny little tantrum…?” 

He glanced at Chirithy who looked just as perplexed as he felt.

“...I’m sure you can imagine my over-dramatic sigh as I say this; I’ve rewritten this letter more times than even  _ I _ can remember. Naturally, if you were here, you would remember even  **_less_ ** than I did. You always did have such an interestingly fickle mem--”

Ven covered his mouth as his grip on the page turned tight. 

He couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe it at all. The realization hit him like a truck, making his eyes well up with tears and his blood run cold as his face seared hot at the rush of emotion.

“...Ven?” Chirithy whispered, concerned. He leaned over, trying to see the words on the page.

“ **_Vanitas_ ** .”

He breathed, and the way his name rolled off his tongue making him giggle from the mere joy of saying it aloud.

“Th-this has to be from him, there’s no way it can’t--”

“Keep reading!”

Chirithy urged.

“Uh, um…” He collected himself as best he could, “...You always did have such an interestingly fickle memory. Ugh, but now I’m just reminiscing, aren’t I? That doesn’t do either of us any good. Please watch and be entertained as I keep doing it, anyways. Heart.”

Ven giggled, ignoring the tears that pooled out. Practically two years of endless searching, missing that felt like  _ burning _ , heartache so bad that he almost wished he didn't have one... He wanted this letter to be real with all his heart. He  _ needed _ it to be. He wished, and then he wished some more.

“...I wonder how you’re doing quite often. I don’t have any right to, of course, but I still do it. Sometimes you have to be selfish or you go crazy, right? How have you managed to get along without me? I suppose, before, you did fine on your own. You have Aqua, Terra, and all your friends; God, I’m sure you made even more since I saw you last. All you seem to do is make friends, because you’re so altruistic and--”

Ven rolled his eyes at the next line.

“‘inherently good’ and all of that nonsense.”

“He really thinks of you as a Light, huh?” Chirithy asked.

Ven tried not to grimace as he shrugged. “It's kind of lame and gross that he apparently still does, and also that he just assumes that I'll know what 'altruistic' means. The whole dark/light thing is just what the adults always pushed on us, what they told us to think. That doesn’t mean it’s true, and it just...” He tried to sigh, but he didn’t open up his mouth enough and just sounded like a horse instead.

“It did so much terrible, painful harm.”

After a quiet giggle, Chirithy hummed. “I didn’t think about it until you and I became friends, really; from the moment I first came into being, I was taught that light was always good and darkness was always evil, and that we had to banish the darkness at any cost. It is what the Master wanted, after all. But… too much light is a bad thing, and how would the light shine without darkness? For as different as they are, they are similar, too.”

He looked out the window, and Ven followed his vision. “I've been thinking about Vanitas, and how he is supposed to be the Darkness to your Light. I don't think he is, and really, I don't think he ever was. You weren't forces of nature or holy beings, you were children.”

Ven sighed, chest too swirling to manage anything else.

“Besides,” Chirithy added, tone teasing, “I don't think he's evil or bad. How could  _ you _ love someone so deeply if they were bad?  _ Hmmmm _ ?”

His face grew hot, and now his thoughts were swirling just as much as his emotions. “I, um… uh…” Ven winked in embarrassment. “I mean, well… That’s a little, uh, well…” He put his free hand on his cheek and looked away. “Ugh, can I just read!!!”

“Oh,  _ I _ see!” Chirithy shook his head with a knowing smile. “Carry on, then.”

“...They’ll keep you safe no matter what, so I shouldn’t let myself worry, but... I worry anyways. You can’t focus to save your damn life, you're completely and utterly hopeless, especially in combat. I still cannot understand how you have ever managed to win a single fight against any opponent, with your head in the clouds as it is. But... while we didn’t spend a lot of time together, the time we did spend was important to me.”

Ven’s throat made a noise. He coughed, and continued.

“...You showed me such wonderful, unending kindness when all I did was spit in your face and shove you away. Sometimes I wonder why I had to be such a stuck up dumbass, but it’s not like I  _ wanted  _ to be. Who doesn’t want to be cared about? Nobody, that’s who, and if they say they don’t then they are lying, plain and simple. Speaking from experience, of course.

“...If we’re laying all our cards on the table, I guess I’ll put some of mine down. Despite what I may have barked in anyone's direction, I wanted to be what the kids call ‘besties’ with you. Did you know that?”

“...But it’s never that simple. It’s infuriating; If only we could stand in front of the ocean, the sun setting as the air around us glistens. We hold hands and smile, telling each other how amazing it is to be so close and care so deeply about each other, as we do none of the hard work that takes such a close relationship. It's just like magic, like destiny that we fight together! Like two pieces of a puzzle that you hadn't thought would ever fit together, but they do, and then it all clicks for you.”

Ven had to put the letter in front of Chirithy as he covered his unbearably warm face with his trembling hands. He let out a tiny, drawn-out wail, flopping over on his side in a curled-up ball.

“I love him!” He laughed, only a little louder than a whisper, as if it was too dear a thing to share with others, kicking his feet back and forth in rapid excitement. “I love him so much. I'm so happy!”

Chirithy squeaked as he bent down and picked up the letter with the utmost grace, handing it to Ven.

“Let's hear some more!”

Ven managed to pull himself together once again, but his heart didn't stop pounding, his tears didn't stop rolling onto his arms and shirt. He was so, so happy.

“...Um, and just so you know,  _ Ventus _ , I didn’t take that from a dream, so don’t start getting any ideas in that head of yours. I would never have such an embarrassing dream, are you, pray tell, pulling upon my sweet little leg? That’s something  _ you _ would have dreamed. It has ‘Look At Me, I Care About My Brother More Than Anything Else That Exists’ written all over it, which is something that only  _ you’d _ do, definitely. What with you gallivanting around me near constantly, and all. It was sooo obvious.  _ OOO _ YOU WANTED ME TO THINK THAT YOU CARED  _ SOOOO _ BAD  _ OOOO _ . You’re really so silly, you know.”

Ven cackled, falling backwards and almost smacking his head into his window as his laughter hit him. Vanitas called  _ him _ embarrassing?

“This is the cutest thing I've ever read in my life.” Ven laughed, holding the letter to his chest.

Had this just been ruminating inside of Vanitas? How long had he felt this way? A part of Ven wished this letter would never end, he never wanted to stop reading the words Vanitas had fretted over, time after time.

Chirithy waved him on.

“...I’m getting off-topic. It’s easy to, when I imagine you sitting in front of me, listening. I can see the most dorky smile on your face as I tell you how mentally ill I am, and when I ask why you’re smiling, because it’s pretty fucked up to smile so big and warm and genuine when someone is telling you how they wished they had been dead for most of their life, but then you take me off guard, saying something so wildly embarrassing and mushy. And then I’m wildly embarrassed and mushy. And it’s so awkward. How could you do this, Ventus… I thought we were brothers… Must we embarrass each other like this… Must we inspire positive feelings within one another?”

Ven had to rub his eyes again, not wanting to get any tears on the paper. He couldn’t stop smiling, the joy in his heart was almost overwhelming. He hadn’t felt this happy in so long.

“...Again, I get sidetracked. Obviously whenever I have trouble paying attention, it’s entirely your fault. God forbid, though. I mean, have you seen yourself? I don’t believe you’ve touched ground once since I’ve seen you the first time in the Land. Do you know how many times we’ve interacted, Ventus? Far too many to count on all of our hands combined. If I took some of that from you, and you’re like you are, can you imagine how terrible it must’ve been for you before we were separated? Oh, Jesus, I can’t even begin to dwell on it. I’d just induce some kind of fit within myself. Imagine the kind of Unversed that’d make, Ventus. I’d be in real big trouble for sure, on multiple accounts. And you wouldn’t be able to help because you’d be doing something or other far, far away from me, and that’s so unfair because it was your fault in the first place. Can't you just come bonk the shit out of the boss Unversed I make? Do something with all the free time you have.”

He paused. 

“So, Chirithy, there’s a face, the one that Riku uses a lot? The little guy who looks unimpressed, yeah?”

Chirithy nodded.

“Sure, I'm familiar since you show me the texts he sends you all the time.”

Easily, he dodged the stuffed bunny that Ven so violently chucked at him.

“Y’know, Vanitas is a little rude, even when he’s being like this. Is there more?”

“Well, I think it’s cute.” Ven defended. 

“I don't know why I thought you'd have something helpful to say about it ” Chirithy sighed, rolling his eyes.

“MAN, WHATEVER!”

Ven looked down to the paper, at the signature near the bottom. He flipped it back over, to the front, and his heart squeezed in his chest.

“It’s the last paragraph. I’m really nervous, Chirithy, I-I don't want it to end.”

“I’m with you, no matter what.” Chirithy promised. “Whatever happens, we’ll get him back, Ven. With this letter, I don’t doubt it for a second.”

Ven nodded. He believed Chirithy with all of his heart. To do any less would be an insult. “...I…” He let out a breath. “Sorry, he put an ellipses there.”

“He’s so dramatic.” Chirithy shook his head, tried to hide his smile.

“...I wish I was saying this to your face. All of this. You deserve to hear me say what I feel- what I  _ really _ feel, right in front of you. Instead of me trying to push you away, or hide my heart so you can’t see it.” 

Ven took a shaky breath in, tears pooling in his eyes as he struggled to contain himself, to stop his hands from shaking.

His Spirit waved his little paws around in a frenzy. 

“Ven, you have to hold your empathy in until you finish! Please!”

With a big sniff, Ven continued.

“...After all this time, don’t you deserve honesty? Don’t you deserve someone who will tell you that you’ve wanted the same thing for years, that there wasn’t a point to the struggle, all of the pain that came with it? It’s not right, how much I prolonged both of those. And for what? Who knows. Maybe I wasn’t ready to be loved yet. Maybe I’m still not, but I want to be. I’m willing to give it a try, if you’re willing. Would you... for me?”

“...With care and fondest regards, Vanitas.”

He almost dropped the paper after realizing what was after it.

“Th--”

And then he did, and jumped to his feet, backing up from it.

Chirithy was quick, reaching towards the letter and grabbing it before it reached the floor.

“Ven, what did…” he scanned the letter, and his eyes landed on what Ven had reacted to.

“This… is an address.”

“It's Twilight Town.” Ven wheezed behind his hand, looking up from the ground at Chirithy, his back against one of his potted ivies. “That's a Twilight Town address. That's… that's the-the farmlands.”

Before Chirithy could say anything else, Ven plucked the letter from his paws and tore through the process of getting ready like a whirlwind, throwing on his fabrics, jacket, straps with his emblem faster than he ever had. He slipped his shoes on, put on Kairi's choker, and finally, slung his bag over his shoulder and across his torso.

Then he hopped on his bed and pushed his window open with his foot, Wayward Wind appearing in his grasp.

“WILL YOU STOP JUMPING OUT OF WINDOWS!!” Chirithy cried, wrapping his fuzzy arms around Ven's leg.

Ven's puppy eyes must've been too round and helpless, because Chirithy let him go with a defeated sigh.

With a flick of his wrist, Wayward Wind shot up, and a beat later, his glider swerved down. Ven punched his emblem and his armor wrapped around him as he jumped and landed, shooting off into the sky. There was no time to waste.

\---

Ven had never run so desperately in his life. Most of the people walking to the bustling town to go about their daily routine were wise enough to move out of his way, and when they weren't, he simply hopped over them with a thoughtless backflip, much to their complete bewilderment.

How much had Vanitas changed in these past months? Had he grown? Had his sense of style changed, did he have a new favorite color? Did he still like ham on his salads like some kind of weirdo? He wanted to know everything and then he wanted to know even more. When there was nothing left, he wanted to make more, and he wanted to do it right by Vanitas' side.

When he reached the address on the letter, he hummed loudly. This was really it? A blue and white house, best described with 'large and cozy', surrounded with a medium-sized and stylized white fence, including an adorable little gate! It was so cute, if the hope in his heart wasn't jiggling around at unfathomable speeds, he was sure he would have trouble believing it was real.

Did Vanitas have any idea what Ven had been through, what he'd felt? Going to every world, begging his friends if they had seen anything at all, and then begging  _ their _ friends? How many Heartless he had attacked, hoping that out of the corner of his eye, he might just see an Unversed? A little inky Flood, the claws of a jumping, swiping Scrapper? He remembered wanting to see Symphony Master so badly for a few weeks that he had dreams about it.

He sighed, wistful as he opened the latch on the gate, walked inside, and closed it behind him, carefully flipping the latch back down. Good dreams. He couldn't wait to share them, if Vanitas wanted to hear 'em, of course.

The garden in the space of the front lawn was so overflowing and plentiful that it had started to hang over the edge of the white stone path. Well, maybe white wasn't the right word anymore, as covered in splattered and smeared paint of all shades and colors as it was. 

The decorative grasses and… Ugh, he wracked his brain as he stared at the big green leaves that were low to the ground and under a towering maple tree, white streaked around the edges as if it had been sloppily painted on. Long stems shot up from the middle, ending in cute purple flowers. ...Uh… Hostas? He hoped so. He recognized everything else with relative ease; the cute white Daisies, the vibrant purple Hyacinths, the big bunch of pink, blue, and purple Hydrangeas, and the shoots of white Calla Lillies that had lovely pink tips. So full of life, so colorful and bright. He squatted down to smell a Hydrangea when a littering of small blue flowers, perhaps insignificant in the grand scheme of things, caught his eyes. Made him gasp so softly, as taken aback as he was.

Forget-Me-Nots.

He rubbed his eyes to make his tears stop before they could start. He wasn't going to cry!! Not yet, at least!! He had just gotten rid of his headaches, and dehydration headaches felt way worse!

Had Vanitas planted this, all of this? He was a little amazed at how much of a wild idea he thought it was. Maybe Vanitas had picked up the hobby, but maybe he had always been interested in gardening? He wasn't sure why, but a whole, vivid scene popped into his head.

  


Vanitas, toiling on his knees in the hot May sun, on one of those little foam garden pads. Maybe it was green-- no, brown or orange. Vanitas hated green, Ven knew this. Brown and pink gloves on his hands, a dusting of dirt up to his elbows as he carefully tore the bottom of a store-bought bunch of three yellow-and-orange Marigolds, but only an inch deep for the roots to spread easier, knowledge that only came with experience. He put it in the ground, finally covering it  _ just _ right with dirt, something he had come to know just by the feel alone. Then, giving it a little water, he would smile as he looked at the new edition to his little flower family, pride filling his chest as he admired his hard word.

It was such a silly, comforting, and funny daydream that he couldn't help but laugh softly, running his fingers under the Forget-Me-Not's tiny petals. He kind of hoped that it was at least a little true; maybe Vanitas could talk with Terra about gardening, and they could grow closer! Oh, geez, he hoped Vanitas was cool with bees. Terra was quite sensitive about his bees.

Did Vanitas have a favorite flower, by smell, sight, or color? Did he have more than one? God, the serotonin from even the possibility of seeing Vanitas was getting to him.

Ah, right, selfies! How embarrassing, he'd almost forgotten to at such a momentous occasion. He would've never forgiven himself if he had, but maybe that was a little dramatic.

With known ease, Ven lowered himself on the path, lying comfortable on his stomach. He flipped out his phone and cutely tilted his head towards the Forget-Me-Nots, grinning before snapping the picture. Excellent! As he slipped his gummiphone back into his pocket, Ven hoped that when he showed this picture to his brother, Vanitas would get embarrassed. Honestly, it WAS his fault for planting them in the first place; everyone knew what they meant, and it wasn't hard to guess if you didn't. Man, Vanitas really did turn into such a sap, but maybe he'd always been like this and he was just at a point now where he could express it?

Ven rubbed his eyes again. He really was gonna be disappointed in himself if he cried before he even saw Vanitas. UGH.

He finally walked to the porch, gently putting one foot on the first step. He glanced at the closed curtains: Dark blue, perhaps the kinds that kept the sunlight out? He couldn't remember their actual name, but they sure did help for sleep, not that he had any. He didn't need them, but Aqua sure swore by them! Oh, maybe she and Vanitas could talk abo-- Nope, that idea was stupid. He could come up with something better than that, he owed it to Aqua and Vanitas both. He was pretty insulted on their behalf that he had even tried to go for curtains for them. Surely they had actual things in common, everybody had at least one or two things, even if they were small, like liking the color blue, or preferring a mechanical pencil over a wooden one! 

Ven took a deep breath in, collecting his emotions. He wasn't going to procrastinate or get distracted anymore, he was just gonna GO for it. He wanted Vanitas to stay, to be peaceful, but he had planned for every scenario! If Vanitas ran, he'd be ready to run after him. If Vanitas attacked… well, he just better not, or he was gonna regret it, wasn't he? Those were the only scenarios he planned for, truthfully, but he had thought about them a lot, and he was perfectly okay with either of them! Well, maybe not perfectly. Light's SAKE he was really nervous! He took another deep breath in and let it out.

He would be good. Vanitas would be good. Whatever would happen next, they'd get through it together.

This train of thought kept looping in his mind as he slowly reached his knuckles up to the door.

He knocked twice, then once, then once. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, thank you to my WONDERFUL beta readers luna succubused and lyric solsync!! they really trudged through this before anyone else did... o7!! friendship really does win
> 
> EDIT: luna said 'ITS NOT TRUDGED!!! TRIUMPHANTLY MARCHED' so i am here to make an announcement. luna succubused and lyric solsync did in fact triumphantly march through chapter seven before anyone else did and they did it with stunning grace and care, as they do with every chapter but it was ESPECIALLY apparent in this one. i love them :]!!!


End file.
